Eleanor Rigby
by TakeMeOrLeaveMe2010
Summary: Same story, new character. MaxOC. LucyJude obviously. Rated for language and later sexual happenings. No MarySue intended, but not promising anything. FINAL CHAPTER NOW UP! PLEASE R&R!
1. I

I thought that Max needed a girl of his own

**Yeah, I know. This isn't what you all want.**

**I'm in a writer's block that you wouldn't believe, and I apologize for that. I promise to try to get out of it ASAP.**

**In the meantime, I was looking back on a few chapters, and I thought some could've been better, so I did some editing. It kills me that all your lovely, wonderful, stupendous reviews are going to go away, but as a writer, I felt it was necessary to do some editing.**

**A bit of reworking on this first chapter…hope you like it!**

**--**

Jude Feeney eagerly walked into his new bedroom. He glanced about the quaint room, and couldn't help but grin. Three months into the country and he inherits a rambunctious best friend, the possibility of a having his beautiful sister as more than a friend, this comfortable little flat in New York, and a sexy landlady.

Speaking of his new rambunctious friend, Max Carrigan strolled grandly into the room, his aviators slid down to the end of his nose as he surveyed the room, that familiar smirk of his growing on his face.

"Man…this place is-"

"Fucking incredible?" the blonde finished for him. "No shit. No nagging parents, no grade reports, no curfew…" He trailed off, shaking his head a little in wonder.

The Englishman shrugged off his coat, throwing it on the old, creaky mattress. Sure enough, as he sat on the bed, the springs groaned underneath his weight. Jude was hardly perturbed. Lord knows his bed back in Liverpool wasn't any more comfortable than this was.

"If you'll excuse me, Mr. Feeney," Max started, sliding his glasses back to the bridge of his nose. "I really have to take a piss. I'll be back momentarily."

After giving him a cheesy thumbs-up, he sauntered out of the bedroom and into the bathroom adjacent to it.

Once the door opened, he was greeted by a startled yelp. He whipped his head in the direction of the shower, and though it was difficult to see in his tinted glasses, he could make out a person, no doubt a woman, standing in the shower. There was no cover, and it was clear the girl was desperately trying to cover herself with a thin towel she had grabbed off the floor once he had walked in.

Max, being the womanizer he is, pushed his glasses to his hairline, taking in a good look of this acquaintance. It was indeed a girl in the shower, a good-looking black girl at that, and she couldn't be older than 21.

Her pretty face, which had been one of shock for quite some time, was now scrunched into a disgusted scowl.

"Do you mind?" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Oh…" He stopped his gaping for a moment and turned his face away from her. "Sorry…suppose I should've knocked. Well, carry on with whatever you need to do."

She glared at him again, expecting him to leave anytime now. To her surprise and horror, he shuffled over to the toilet, unzipped his pants, and, well…

"What're you…_doing?_"

"What does it look like I'm doing, babe, I'm taking a piss. It's what I came in here for..." He looked over the rims of his glasses. "Though it looks like I got way more than I bargained for."

She shifted uncomfortably and attempted to cover more of herself with the small towel. She couldn't believe his audacity to get smart. "First of all," she said coldly. "My name's Ellie. Second of all, were you too deaf to hear the water running, or are you just stupid? And third of all…_would you stop looking at me?!_"

He chuckled and zipped his pants up, heading towards the sink to wash his hands. "I'm of the male persuasion, _Eleanor._ You happen to be an attractive girl, so pardon me for me not being able to control my manly urges. Blame the testosterone."

She turned pink at his comment. While he had been spouting off his smart remarks, she had taken note that the boy was quite attractive himself. But attractive or not, she'd really rather not give a stranger a peep show, and he seemed to think otherwise.

"What's your name, anyway?" she asked after a while.

"Me? I'm Max. I'd shake your hand but I have the feeling you want to keep that hand firmly attached to that towel. And as much as I'd like you to move it, I'm not going to dig myself a deeper hole."

"Well…see you around, Eleanor," he said with a smirk, flushing the toilet before he left. Of course this turned the shower water scalding hot, causing her to yelp loudly in pain.

As Max heard her yelps through the now closed bathroom door, he smiled a little. But he also thought to himself that he'd better watch out, because he was pretty sure there was nothing more that girl wanted to do than kick his skinny ass.

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Later that afternoon, once Jude and Max had fully settled, they, a few other tenants, and Sadie all sat down for lunch. Someone had been adventurous and made some sort of vegetarian tofu dish. As Max scooped a spoonful of the brownish-green looking stuff onto his plate, he couldn't help but think it more like vomit than anything else. The American was down with the hippie trend and the spiritual wave going on was kind of cool, but the food seemed to be becoming more and more…interesting.

"So…" Jude started, turning his attention away from the food. "…are there any good pubs around?"

Sadie chuckled. "Honey, you're in New York. Of course there are good bars around. Actually, I'm doing a gig down at Café Huh? tonight if you want to come."

"What do you sing?"

"Mm, a little bit of everything," she said with a smile. "Not to blow my own horn, but I'd say I've got a pretty good group of fans. I guess you'll just have to see."

As the tenants continued to converse, Ellie padded into the room, her dark waves still damp. The landlady glanced up at her, then turned back to her newest tenants.

"Oh, guys, this is Ellie. She was taking a shower when you first got here. Ellie, this is Jude."

As Sadie motioned toward the Englishman, Ellie smiled politely at him, giving him a little wave, which Jude kindly returned.

"And this is Max."

The moment her dark brown eyes met the blonde's bright blue ones, her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. He beamed sheepishly at her.

"Yes. We've met."

She took a seat next to one of the other tenants, saying she wasn't hungry when asked if she wanted some of the vegetarian tofu dish.

"So, are you coming to the show tonight, Ellie?" Sadie asked.

Ellie sighed. "I don't know…I was thinking about sitting this one out."

"Come on, you'll have fun."

Max swallowed the forkful of tofu dish he had finally taken (it actually wasn't bad.) "Yeah, come on, El. I'll make it up to you for earlier."

She raised her eyebrows. "How?"

"Beer on me."

"If I wanted one of those, I could look in the refrigerator."

Sadie continued to nudge her. "Ellie, go. You'll have fun. You can show Max and Jude around…"

"Oh goody…" she muttered under breath, but she replied audibly. "Alright, alright, I go."

"Good. The show starts at seven. You better be front-row center."

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Sadie wasn't kidding when she said there were plenty of good bars around in New York City. Café Huh? must have been the hippest place to be in the East Village, because when they got there, they had to wait in line with at least fifty other people. It was surprising, because when they finally got in, it was clear the café couldn't hold more than two hundred people at the most. Sure enough, tables and bar stools filled up fast, and before long, the entire place was packed.

The group of tenants didn't end up being front and center, but they did get a nice, front booth on the left side. Unfortunately, the booth was not built for six people. All of them were squished shoulder to shoulder, and Max's long legs tangled with many others. Finally, he muttered "Screw it…" and swung them up so that they rested on top of the table.

Sadie and her band, at last, sauntered on the stage. She grinned and acknowledged the applause and cheers that greeted her entrance. After a quick mic check, she gripped the microphone, announced to the packed house her first song, looked to her guitar player, and then the song started.

Once the landlady opened her mouth, both Max and Jude felt their guts clench and the area south of their waistlines grow uncomfortably alert. Holy _shit_, could this woman sing. Her smoky alto voice glided effortlessly through the notes, only really letting loose on the growling, high notes. And when she did, the whole room could feel the electricity. Neither the American nor the Englishman thought anything could make their landlady sexier, but they now stood corrected.

When the song ended, the entire room erupted into vociferous applause, but none cheered louder than Jude and Max.

"Amazing, isn't she?" a voice said behind Jude after things had quieted down a little.

He turned and saw Ellie smiling back at him. He returned it and nodded vigorously.

"How long have you been in New York?" he asked.

"Not long, only a couple months."

"Are you a singer, an artist…?"

She laughed ruefully. "Neither, or anything of that sort. I just wanted out of my house. I never really had any rebellious teen moments in high school, so this was my time to do it."

"I feel you, sister," Max commented, as he had been half-listening to the conversation.

"I can't help but think you had plenty of rebellious teen moments in high school."

He scoffed. "If you call smoking a few joints and knocking up one maybe two girls 'rebellious'…now college, on the other hand…" A smirk twitched at his lips. "…that's a completely different story."

"College? You? Where?"

"Perhaps I don't feel like telling you, but if you must know, Princeton."

Her jaw dropped. "_Princeton?"_ she spat, flabbergasted. She tittered a little. "How long did you last there?"

"Not long. A year and half. I just couldn't take it anymore. It's not like I want to be lawyer or anything, though I'm sure my dad would love me forever if I did."

Ellie shook her head, still not able to get past the fact that this guy, who honestly seemed like a lazy ass dope fiend, went to Princeton. Max noticed this and pretended to take offense.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just…you don't seem like that kind of guy."

"Well, you don't seem like the kind of girl to judge people."

She gave a hint of a sardonic grin. "You see me naked in the shower, and suddenly, you know what kind of girl I am?"

"Come again?" Jude interrupted, his eyebrows raised.

She rolled her eyes. "Your friend over there decided it was perfectly fine to walk in on somebody taking a shower without even knocking, then used the bathroom when I asked him to leave!"

"Mate…" Jude groaned with exasperation.

"What? I had to take a piss!"

Ellie and Jude exchanged glances and sighed.

"Fine, we'll start over," Max said. He grinned brightly and stuck out his hand. "_Hi_, I'm Max!"

She rolled her eyes again, but extended her hand to shake his. "Ellie, such a _pleasure_ to meet you. Oh, don't call me Eleanor. Please. I can't stand it."

"I'm not sure you should've told him that," Jude murmured in her ear, but his friend overheard, causing a wicked smirk to pass across his face.

"Well, the pleasure's all mine. If you'll excuse me, Eleanor, I'm going to get a refill."

He stood up from the booth, starting to head over to the bar. But before he could leave, Ellie's voice stopped him.

"Don't forget about the free beer you promised me, Maxwell."

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**As you can see, I didn't change much.**

**But I thought it could've gone a little more depth, so yeah…**

**I hate that all your lovely reviews went away, but please, tell me if you thought this was better! I might do this with a few other chapters.**


	2. A Taste of Honey, Baby, It's You

**This is another chapter I wanted to rework a little. Things just seemed to happen too quickly (everyone I've told not to do this in reviews probably thinks I'm such a hypocrite right now…) and yeah, I thought it could be better.**

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How time seems to fly when things get interesting.

Sounds like a very cliché statement, I know, but also very true. Yes, it was a bit of an overwhelming experience when I first came to the East Village. Innocent, sheltered Ellie being swept up by gritty, edgy NYC. Okay, so perhaps I wasn't the damsel in distress I said I was. But I wasn't expecting to find the scent of freshly rolled joints normal, or to not be surprised when music blasting from an unknown source fills the streets, or to come home every day with a flyers ranging from protesting a war to announcing a new deli opening on the corner.

Even in that whirlwind, things settled down and I got used to it. Sadie was amazing, but going to a show every night got old pretty fast. My fellow tenants were nice people, but I hadn't become fantastic friends with any of them.

Then the Englishman and his friend dropped in. And things got interesting.

Despite our awkward introduction, I was becoming fast friends with these two. Max's antics, though sometimes infuriating, could often be quite hilarious. None of the things he's done so far, like swim in freezing temperatures down by the dock or his attempt to make brownies laced with weed, I would ever dream of doing myself. It's fun to watch him nonetheless. And good God, he is talented at wriggling his way out of anything. He's almost been arrested about three times now, each time sweet-talking his way out of it.

The only thing that bugs me is that he's always got an arm wrapped around the waist of a different girl every night. And when the night gets late, the walls are thin, and believe me, his activities can be clearly heard throughout the entire apartment. Honestly, the boy's a bad STD story waiting to happen. But I wish he'd have the decency to make the walls soundproof or at the very least, settle on one girl to bang.

Jude, while he seemed permanently attached to the hip of Max, was certainly nothing like him. I suppose they shared the same dry wit and had similar senses of humor, but he always seemed more reserved than his best friend. I didn't know that he was artist, but man, is he talented. Where he gets these abstract ideas from is beyond me, but all of it's stunning. Although the arrival of Lucy, Max's beautiful sister, about two weeks ago probably had something to do with that.

I'm not sure how Lucy dealt with Max, but it's clear it took a lot of patience on her part. She's very sweet, always politely smiling at people she's introduced to and asking if there's anything she can do to help. She's responsible, too, as she started looking for job about three days after she moved in to Sadie's. Max has ranted before about his parents, and how they wished he would've stayed in college and become something worthwhile. Even if Lucy does live here and doesn't go to college, I'm sure her responsible and polite ways have a lot to do with the Carrigan parents nagging Max so much.

Lucy wasn't the only new arrival. Prudence, a pretty, young Asian girl, from "nowhere" as she called it, arrived swiftly through the bathroom window seeking shelter. My heart goes out to her; she's just as sweet as Lucy.

Yet another arrival came a week ago, this time an incredible guitarist from Detroit. His name's JoJo, and he's got more soul and heart than anyone I've met. Not a man of too many words, as I've noticed, but it seems he communicates better through song. Every morning, he sits on that windowsill, absentmindedly scratching words in an old notebook as the first rays of sunlight leak through the windows.

Sadie had taken a great liking to him, in more ways than one. She hired him as her new guitarist, and the two of them together were a force to be reckoned with. It was quite clear also that the two of them have started falling for each other.

They weren't the only ones. Jude and Lucy seem to be quickly falling for each other, too. Max, Prudence, and I watched them _staring deep into each other's eyes_ for about an hour yesterday. And yet, despite the obvious sexual tension between the two, they insisted on not furthering their relationship. I don't know how aggravating that was to them, but it made the rest of us want to tear our hair out.

One day, Lucy and Jude dragged me and Max down to the docks. Something about wanting to see the birds and get some fresh air…I don't know, I think they just wanted another excuse to be together and needed us there so they wouldn't get flack for it. It wasn't long before we got there, that the two of them ditched us. It was alright for a while, but soon we ran out of things to talk about, and I was about to lose my mind with boredom.

We sat crossed-legged on the warped wood, tired, hungry, and ready to go home.

"What could they possibly be doing for this long?" I asked for the thousandth time.

"Oh…" Max sighed with exasperation. "…probably staring at each other and wondering what the other looks like naked."

I snorted and rolled my eyes, knowing he was most likely right. I sighed, stretched out my denim-clad legs, and reclined so that I lay belly-up. I draped an arm over my eyes, attempting to shield the blinding sunlight that was bearing down on us, and heaved another sigh as the wood underneath turned out to be anything but comfortable.

"That can't be comfortable," he commented.

"It isn't," I mumbled back. "Nice work, Captain Obvious."

He reiterated what I said in a mocking, high pitched tone, giving me a reason to give him a hearty shove. This gesture must have caught him by surprise, because he made a startled yell of some sort as he went toppling into the water.

I scrambled to my feet and leaned over the dock as he resurfaced, glaring at me.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to push you that hard," I babbled. "Here…let me help you out."

The moment I stuck my out my hand, a smirk began to twitch at his lips. That should've been a clear signal about what was going to happen next, but of course, I was more concerned about apologizing and making it up to a friend I just involuntarily pushed into the water. Turns out, he wasn't pissed off at all, and as he grasped my hand, I found myself being pulled forcefully down into the water.

When I came to the surface, sputtering, I sent a splash in the direction of the wicked chuckling. Once the water was finally out my eyes, I looked up to see Max already sitting on the deck, smiling innocently down at me.

"You're an ass…"

"I am an ass, but I think it was only fair."

"Whatever." Gripping the gritty edge, I pulled myself out of the water, shaking my hair out and sending water droplets everywhere.

"I just can't believe I felt bad for pushing you in…I should've known better."

He shook his head and grinned, glancing at me sideways. "Oh, Ellie, how I love you and your constant worry of always being polite," he said in an airy tone, slinging an arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah…" I mumbled, but I felt a smile growing on my own face. He gave me a squeeze and planted a dramatic, "mwah" kiss on my cheek.

"Oy! Love birds!"

We both turned and saw Lucy and Jude walking towards us, their fingers dangerously close to being interlocked.

"Speak for yourself, Liverpool. We know what you two have been doing all the time…"

They both turned a little red at his comment and shifted uncomfortably away from each other, causing Max to snort. Tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, Lucy looked quizzically down at our wet clothes.

"What happened to you? You're soaked!"

"Turns out sweet, innocent El isn't so sweet and innocent."

"_Actually,_" I swiftly interrupted. "It was an accident, and he was one who started it in the first place."

"I did not!" he retorted, dropping his arm from my shoulders and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Enough, you two. Blimey, you'd think you were a married couple or something…" Jude cut in. "Let's go home, I'm starved."

On the walk home, as I watched the two lovebirds strolling hand in hand in front of me, my mind turned back to the comments my English friend had said. It made me think, just out of curiosity, of course, what kind of couple Max and I would be. I couldn't help but snort at the thought; I'd doubt we'd last very long. We'd kill each other after a week, or at least, I'd kill him.

And honestly, doesn't the guy go through women like pair of socks?

But still, even with all his cons, I liked the guy. His antics managed to be funny more than they were annoying, and really, Max had a good heart. Lucy had a boyfriend who was killed over in Vietnam, and one of the first nights she was here, she just broke down. He was the first person to her side, keeping his arms wrapped around her and attempting to keep her spirits up until she eventually fell into an exhausted slumber.

But there were too many reasons to not date him…why am I even thinking about _dating_ him? He's a friend. That's it. Right?

_A taste of honey…tasting much sweeter than wine._

_I dream of your first kiss, and then, I feel upon my lips again, a taste of honey…tasting much sweeter than wine._

_I will return, yes, I will return._

_I'll come back for the honey and you._

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The four of them returned to the apartment, finding JoJo strumming away on his guitar on the couch, and Sadie watching, an admiring and loving smile on her face the entire time. Prudence looked on from the far easy chair, clearly in a longing pout.

"Hey, guys…" Sadie greeted them as they all walked in.

"Hey," they replied.

"Max, honey, there's a letter for you."

"Where?" he asked as he slipped off his sneakers.

"In the kitchen," Prudence snapped, annoyed at the situation between Sadie and Jo.

He shuffled into the kitchen, followed by Jude and Ellie. He picked up the letter off the table and opened it, not bothering to read the mailing address. As he scanned the page, his face remained blank, but by the look in his eyes, something was clearly wrong.

"What?" Ellie asked, sensing the tension and sitting down next to him.

He didn't reply for a moment, then sighed. "It seems I've been chosen to join the ranks of the United States Army. I've got an induction ceremony on the 7th."

"Wait, you've been drafted?" inquired Prudence as she came into the kitchen.

Max nodded. Ellie felt her blood run cold. The war was unfortunately near and dear to her heart, as her brother, Bobby, had also been drafted just before she left home and god knows where he was now. She knew that being drafted was hardly a walk in the park.

"Mate, there's got to be something you can do…skip the ceremony or something," Jude suggested.

"He can't do nothing about it," Jo said from the living room, still strumming on his guitar. "I knew this one cat…didn't go the first time…the police broke down the door to his house the next day…he's probably still in jail…"

Max groaned, his attention returning to the letter.

"Just tell them you're a pedophile," Prudence said in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Say you want to go into the village and _rape_ and _pillage_ all the little girls that look like me!" she finished with dramatic flourish.

"Or just tell them you've got this…this disease that makes you have nervous breakdowns every ten minutes and you'll lose your shit at a moment's notice," Jude piped in, grinning a little.

Max gave a trace a smile, but he couldn't help but think why his friends seemed to find this funny. Ignoring this thought, an idea crossed his mind, a desperate one, but it was his last hope. He pulled out his lighter, lit it, and held the letter underneath, watching it burn with a sick sort of satisfaction.

"You can burn that paper, boy…" JoJo said. "…but you still got to show. I guarantee they'll find you if you don't."

The silence that followed was so tension-filled someone could've sliced it with a knife.

"Max…let's get out of here," Ellie started, trying to cheer him up. It was odd, normally it was the other way around. "Come on, Sadie's got a gig tonight."

"Ellie's right…it'll get your mind off things," Jude agreed.

"…fine…whatever…" he finally mumbled, getting up from the table and going over to where he had left his sneakers. The other three in the room silently followed suit. Jo told them he would meet up with them later as he was almost finished writing a song he was working on. Jude went over to Lucy's bedroom and knocked softly on the door, letting her know they were going out. When she came out and got her things together, Max pulled Ellie aside.

"Don't tell Luce about…you know. I don't want her to know right now, I'll tell her later. Let Pru and Jude know, too," he whispered in her ear.

She nodded and obliged.

One thing Ellie did notice as she headed out the door with her friends was JoJo's soulful voice mournfully singing words that send cold chills down her spine.

"_Boy, you're gonna carry that weight._

_Carry that weight a long time…"_

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Sadie's gig did seem to help Max get his mind off the draft, however. It wasn't long before he was hammered out of his mind, spouting off things that didn't make any sense at all. It was amusing and a little sad at the same time.

Once the gig was done and the friends gathered to head home for the after party, Ellie glanced around as Max still seemed to be missing.

"Where's Max?" she finally asked his sister.

"I'm not sure…I saw him head out the door not too long ago…"

She nodded and walked out of the café, glancing down each direction of the street. When she didn't see him, she headed towards the alleyway on the side of the building. That was where she did find him, and at the present moment, he was pleasuring a brunette with tits the size of Long Island by nuzzling her neck drunkenly. She clearly didn't mind that he was drunk, moaning with delight and her leg drifting towards his hip.

Feeling her face get hot, she shuffled cautiously towards the pair, who took no notice to her. Finally, she coughed awkwardly, which to her relief, caused him to look up.

"We're heading out, just to let you know."

"mmokay…you guys go ahead, I'll catch up," he replied vaguely , nodding a little to make the point that he somewhat understood. The brunette made a face at Ellie and glanced over at him.

"Who's she?" she asked coldly.

"mmwha? Oh…she's a friend…" he slurred in response.

The brunette still looked suspicious, but was satisfied when he returned to nuzzling to her. Ellie exited swiftly, jogging to catch up with the group who had already begun to walk down the sidewalk.

Even after they had returned to the tenant building, Ellie still felt uncomfortably hot. Something about seeing Max with that girl really ticked her off. She was well-aware the relationship wouldn't go any farther than tonight, and she felt a strange sense of happiness about that. She was bitch and Ellie wished that Max would at least bang girls with some sort of sense of respect and dignity. Though considering his state, respect and dignity were probably the last things on his mind.

She couldn't figure out why she cared so much.

Or perhaps she knew the exact reason why she cared so much, but just didn't want to admit it.

_It's not the way you smile that touched my heart._

_It's not the way you kiss that tears me apart._

_Uh, oh, many, many nights go by,_

_I sit alone at home and I cry over you._

_What can I do._

_Can't help myself, 'cause baby, it's you._

_Baby it's you._

_You should hear what they say about you, cheat, cheat._

_They say, they say you never never never ever been true._

_Uh oh,_

_It doesn't matter what they say._

_I know I'm gonna love you any old way._

_What can I do, it's true._

_Don't want nobody, nobody, 'cause baby, it's you._

_Baby, it's you._

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**So, hopefully you liked the editing.**

**Reviews would be wonderful.**


	3. I Want You, Let it Be

**Lordy, did this chapter need editing.**

**I really don't want to add new chapters, but I might have to. We'll see what happens.**

**I promise a real update will come soon! For now, hope you enjoy this.**

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I sighed as another complete stranger, drunk off his ass, flopped onto the couch next to me, squishing me further in with the other six people on the couch.

How I could've forgotten that Sadie's after parties were normally jam-packed and wild enough to occasionally get a call from the building maintenance was beyond me. I suppose I hadn't been to one of her concerts in a while, but still, I could literally feel my lungs deflating in my chest I was so smushed.

The fact that one of the people on the couch, a chain-smoker who I had at least seen once, was rambling non-stop in my direction didn't help. Thank God Jude walked into the living room, giving me reason to wriggle out of the tight bind of people, weave through the horde that surrounded Sadie, who was sitting in the easy chair, and walk up to him.

"Just get me _out of here, _I can't breathe…" I muttered, grabbing his wrist.

He thankfully obliged and pulled me into the kitchen, which was still crowded, but at least a person was given at least a foot of personal space.

I heaved a sigh and smiled warmly at him. "Thanks, Jude."

He nodded and returned the smile weakly, but it was clear something was up.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Nothin'…" he grumbled. "Just some girl troubles, that's all…"

"Come on, be more specific."

"Me an' Clara got in a fight over some stupid shit. Said I'm not 'there when she needs me' or whatever…" He groaned, ran a hand through his hair, and shook his head again. "But I don't care... Let her be a bitch."

I shot him a sympathetic smile. "If it's any consolation, I'm pretty sure there's a pretty blonde who'd do just about anything to be with you right now."

Jude bit his lip, grinning bashfully. "You're off your rocker…Max doesn't want me."

I gave him a playful slap. "You _know_ that's not who I'm talking about. Go talk to her, she's been sulking around in a corner for about an hour now."

I pushed him firmly in the direction of Lucy, who was at this point surrounded by a group of people but not really in the conversation. He shot me a look before he left the kitchen, but eventually disappeared into the crowd.

I crossed my arms and couldn't help but smile. Though I didn't do it very often, I sometimes enjoyed playing matchmaker.

Although I should probably stop worrying about other people's love lives and start working on my own.

This thought caused a look of discontent to pass over my face. It didn't go unnoticed, as JoJo strolled into the kitchen, a beer in one of his hands.

"What's wrong, baby girl?" he asked.

I sighed a little. "Nothing…it's nothing."

"Come on, what's on your mind?"

Ironically, Max stumbled through the crowd at that moment, a joint in one hand, and the other wrapped around the waist of the bitch from the back alley. I watched him push past, and rolled my eyes once he was gone.

JoJo follow my gaze, then gave a little snicker. "Ah, I see. Have to admit, I didn't see that one coming."

I shot him a nasty look. "I'm not _in love_ with him or anything…it's just a little crush."

He chuckled again and shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you say, girl." He gave me one last smile then sauntered out of the kitchen.

I'll admit Jo had a point when he said he didn't see that one coming. Why would goody-goody Ellie, who didn't do much worse than getting drunk and smoking every once in a while and actually had prospects of some sort, be interested in lazy, irresponsible, pot-addicted Max?

Good fucking question.

I don't know _why_. I don't particularly care why, either. I just _am._

………………………………………………………………………………………………I got up a little earlier than usual the next morning. The fact that I didn't have an impending hangover probably helped the situation. I threw on a bathrobe and padded out of my bedroom into the living room.

Not to my surprise, sleeping in Lucy's cot (her makeshift bed until someone moved out), was, well, Lucy, but also Jude. A blue, thick blanket covered both of them, but by the way they were positioned in each other arms, it was clear their late-night activities were anything but innocent. I couldn't help but smile, nonetheless.

I continued into the kitchen, where I began making myself a pot of coffee and pouring the rest of the little cereal we had into a bowl. I sat down at the table, munching contentedly as I read an old newspaper that had been left there.

The tactless gentlemen from the previous evening got up not much later, shaking sandy blonde bangs out of his face and strolling through the living room. He stopped at the sight of his naked sister in bed with his best friend…also naked.

"Alright…I get it," his baritone drawled.

This must have aroused them, because I heard Jude mumble a sleepy "Mmm?"

"You've been duping me this whole time just to get some ass…but my _sister's?_ Come on, man, that's just low."

"I thought you could've deduced the possibility of us have a relationship. And you're hardly one to be accusing someone of committing low acts, you dirty bastard."

"Yeah, well…" he trailed off, leaving the rest to the imagination. "So…that's the way it is?"

"Yeah, that's the way it is."

"Well, speaking as a brother, I think she could do better…"

I snorted. Max had a point. Lucy had caught the attention of many eye-catching bachelors while she had been here, and Lord knows she could get pretty much anyone she wanted.

"Max!" Lucy retorted, nevertheless

"Well, excuse me, but as blissful as you two are on the throes of young love, I'm just letting you know I've got a date with Uncle Sam."

I had completely forgotten about Max's induction ceremony. The fact that it was today was frightening. It meant if there was even the slightest notion of me telling him that I had crushing on him a little, time was running short. Even if that didn't happen, he was a good friend, and I couldn't help but worry.

I decided to keep these thoughts to myself, however, when he came into the kitchen. It seemed he had almost forgotten the ceremony himself, because the recent mention of it put him in a sour mood. He gave me a brief nod, opened the refrigerator, then bent over to see what was available for breakfast.

"Jesus…" he groaned as he stood up straight, stretching uncomfortably with a milk carton in his left hand. "My back's _killing_ me this morning…"

"Huh…well, that's strange…" I replied coolly, not looking up from the paper, but hoping he'd catch my drift. I knew he was in a bad mood, but honestly, I wasn't feeling the need to be prudent this morning.

He caught on quickly and shot me a look. "El…"

I looked up innocently from my paper. "What?"

"You know perfectly well 'what.' Don't think I didn't catch that hint of sarcasm there, angel cake."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't give me your shit…care to explain the attitude?" he inquired.

"Well, I just couldn't help but wonder why you couldn't figure out the obvious reason why your back was killing you this morning."

"Oh? What is this so-called 'obvious' reason?"

I gave him an all-knowing, exasperated look. "Maxwell, darling, I have ears. The walls are thin. You and your lovely lady were _plenty_ loud. What was her name again?"

He snorted, taking a swig from the carton. "Hell if I know. Alex…Taylor…something like that. One of those chicks with a guy's name."

"Right," I muttered through clenched teeth. "…well, if you don't mind, try and keep it down next time."

He wiped the milk off his top lip, walked over to me, and put his arm around my shoulders.

"For you, dear, anything," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Why thanks, honey bunch," I growled in response.

"Would you two pipe down a bit? People are sleeping for Christ's sake…" Jude mumbled as he came into the kitchen, only clad in his boxers.

"I apologize, man," Max said, though he didn't take his eyes off of me. "I just wasn't in the mood to get my sex life critiqued this morning."

"Shut up. I could've done way worse damage than I actually did. Believe me, I have a list of critiques you ought to hear."

"Oh, really? Enlighten us, Eleanor."

I pushed my paper off to the side and held out my palm, ticking off with my fingers. "Let's see, as I said before, you have no regard for anyone else in this apartment with your noisy love-making, nor do you have any regard for the women you sleep with-"

"What makes you think that?"

"You never talk to them again after one night! Did it ever occur to you that perhaps one of these girls was, you know, in love with you?"

"Umm…in love with me, after one night?"

"Trust me, it's not that hard to fall in love with you."

The moment that slipped out my mouth, I turned a furious shade of scarlet. His infamous, crooked smirk began to twitch at his lips. He dropped to his knees, rested his elbow on the table, and placed his chin in his palm, looking at me with bright, blue eyes.

"It's not that hard to fall in love with me…why, Ellie?"

"Well…uh…" I stammered. How I wished there was a rewind button in my life right now. "You're good at seduction…though-though you may be incredibly tactless, you can come off as being quite charming…you are…_somewhat_ attractive, so, no, it's not that hard…"

His smirk grew, and his eyes twinkled in amusement.

"And you know this from…personal experience?"

"I never said that," I blurted out, though at this point I was just digging myself into a deeper hole.

He chuckled, moved his chin out of his palm, and slipped his hand into mine. "Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. It's alright. I know I'm irresistible."

"Shut up."

The situation went from bad to worse as he began to sing. "_Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been, lives in a dream._"

Max stood up, pulling me up with him, and twirled me around. "_Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door…_" He spun me into his arms. "Who is it fo-or?" he said in a childlike tone.

"Don't flatter yourself," I mumbled, pushing him away, but still blushing horribly.

He grinned, sauntering out of the kitchen, but continuing to sing. "_All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong?"_

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Jude was trying very hard to keep a straight face, but was failing miserably.

"Go ahead…laugh," I said in defeat.

He only smiled, came over to me, and pulled me into a hug. "'s alright, luv. You can get the bastard back later for embarrassing you like that."

I decided not to mention that not all of what Max had said was bullshit and merely nodded.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

_I want you, I want you so bad._

_I want you, I want you so bad._

_It's driving me mad, it's driving me mad._

………………………………………………………………………………………………………_..._

Although the morning's events had lifted Max's mood, he came home from his induction ceremony clearly pissed off. No, pissed off not's the right word. Downright scared, and trying hard to hide it was more like it.

Apparently, he had taken a few of our suggestions to try and wriggle his way out of it. The poor guy actually swallowed about five cotton balls, but they didn't up taking an x-ray. He also said something along the lines of being a "cross-dressing homosexual pacifist with a spot on his lung," but I guess it wasn't enough.

He was dramatically reenacting his experience to a few other tenants while I watched from my comfortable position on the doorframe. His story would've been funny had this ceremony not been deciding whether he was about to be shipped off to hell. There were things that Max was, but honorable soldier wasn't one of them.

It was really obvious how many feelings he was holding back. This was clearly a pride issue, but I wish he would just screw pride and vent what he felt other than being pissed off about not taking a stupid x-ray.

The telephone interrupted my thoughts. I reluctantly pushed myself off the doorframe, came into the kitchen, and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"May I…speak to Ellie?" asked the girl on the other line, a voice I had not heard in ages, but I recognized right off the bat.

"Anna...Anna, what is it?" The girl on the line was my sister. I hadn't heard from my family since I had left home, and frankly, I wasn't planning on hearing from them anytime soon. They were furious when I left, and the rift had caused a lack of communication.

Anna gave a choked sigh, clearly trying to hold back a flood of tears. My heart began to pound and my stomach clenched. I gripped the phone so hard, my knuckles turned white.

"Anna…" I tried to say as calmly as I possibly could, though my voice quavered. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's…it's Bobby, Ellie."

My heart stopped. I was so close to a breakdown, my entire body started to shake. There was just no way…

"No…" was the only thing I could say for a moment. "No…God no…please…"

Anna began to sob, and that confirmation made my head spin.

The numbness that followed was overwhelming. My legs buckled and I slid to the floor, the phone still in my death grip.

I vaguely noticed Converse-clad feet walking towards me, then Max's face coming into view as he bent down to my level. I had forgotten there was anyone else in the room; he and the other tenants had heard my entire end of the conversation.

"El…" he started with growing concern. "You alright, babe?"

His sincerity is what set me off. I wanted to tell him that _God_ no, I was not alright, but the words didn't come. All that came out was a warbled sob, to which I completely collapsed, dropping the phone and burying my face into my hands as I started to weep.

Max picked up the receiver, told Anna that I'd call her back, and hung it up. Then he gently took my hands away from my face as I continued to sob, gave them a squeeze, and kissed my forehead.

I'm not even sure he knew what was wrong at that point in time, but his gestures were comforting, nonetheless. He stayed there until I calmed down a little bit. When I did, I looked up at him, and he gave me the tiniest of smiles. He helped me to my feet and pulled me into a firm embrace. As he did this, I also felt the supporting hands of Jude and Lucy on my back. They had heard the commotion and had kept a small distance until now.

It wasn't the fact that he had died that killed me the most. It was the memory of me promising him that he wasn't going to die. He was only eighteen when he was enlisted, straight out of high school. My parents had begged for him to go to college, knowing that he'd be swept up by the Army if he didn't. Bobby had shrugged it off, and three weeks later, that doomed letter came.

He was due to leave about a week before I left home and had begged me to stay. I now cursed myself for being a selfish bitch and snapping in response that I couldn't stay in the house any longer; it seemed so petty now.

I ended up choking out that memory in dismay as I sat on the couch, surrounded by my friends and about five boxes of tissue. Lucy took my hand and gripped it tightly, assuring me forcefully that it wasn't my fault, that I didn't know. Even with her reassuring words, my stomach churned with guilt.

He was eighteen. _Eighteen_.

And I couldn't help but think that Max was only twenty-one.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_When I find myself in times of trouble,_

_Mother Mary comes to me,_

_Speaking words of wisdom…let it be._

_And when the broken hearted people,_

_Living in this world of grief…_

_There will be an answer…let it be._

_Let it be, let it be,_

_Let it be, let it be._

_There will be an answer…let it be._

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**You like?**

**Hopefully, you do.**

**The purpose of this editing, in case you didn't know, is trying to make Ellie less of a Mary-Sue in the beginning. **

**And since I've started doing analysis in chapters, I'll do it for this one, too, since I changed it. :D**

"_**Jude bit his lip, grinning bashfully. "You're off your rocker…Max doesn't want me."**_ – **Yes, this is a slight reference to Max/Jude. I know, doesn't make much sense in a Max/OC fic, but I wanted to, damn it. **

"_**You know perfectly well 'what.' Don't think I didn't catch that hint of sarcasm there, angel cake."**_ **– I'm not sure if this is really worth mentioning, but because I'm editing, you'll probably notice that Max will call Ellie an array of different things. If you want to think of it character-wise, he pretty much calls her "El" when he's being casual or just normal, "Ellie" when he's serious about something, and "Eleanor" when he's trying to piss her off.**

"_**The situation went from bad to worse as he began to sing…"**_ – **I realized something. I have made little and/or very, very subtle references to the song this whole story is named after! So, yes, Max has to sing it. :D**

**And yes, I did mix the lyrics to "Let it Be."**

**Please review and let me know what you think of this edited chapter! I'm going to just a tiny bit of editing on the next chapter, a touch more on the 5****th**** chapter, possibly some on the 6****th**** chapter, and then I'll be done. At least for now.**


	4. And Your Bird,Falling in Love Again

**Not a whole lot of editing done with this one, but I thought it still needed to be done.**

**Oh, I realized I deleted this when I edited the first chapter:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Ellie.**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Leaving my friends for a few days wasn't easy. They had been my family for the past few months or so, and I was scared to go back to my real one. But I wouldn't miss saying goodbye to Bobby for anything. So, I swallowed my pride and left for my old home: a Hill Valley, Massachusetts, just 10 miles away from downtown Boston.

The bitter, wintry air hit me like a thousand knives as I stepped out of the airport terminal. I soon spotted my father standing there waiting, with his black Lincoln Town Car behind him.

Sighing a little, and leaving whatever personal dignity I had left on the sidewalk, I briskly walked over to him.

He barely looked up at me as I came to him.

"Hello, Eleanor," he said, his voice as icy as the wind whipping around us.

"Hi, Daddy…" I replied softly. This was going to harder than I thought.

Without saying another word, he took my bag and put in the trunk. I let myself into the warm car, snuggling into the deep leather seats. He let himself in, then sped off from the airport.

The silence was deafening. Should I say anything? _Could_ I say anything? I was a bit fearful that if I so much as opened my mouth, we would plow into a long yelling match.

"How've you and Mom been?" I asked cautiously, wanting to make some sort of conversation.

"You would know if you bothered to call us, Eleanor," he responded coldly.

I sighed indignantly and leaned my head against the head rest. I anticipated this happening, but I had hoped we wouldn't get off to such a rough start.

Neither of us said anything else for the rest of the drive. I was filled with relief as I saw the familiar, white-columned house appear in my window.

As I walked up the sidewalk to our front door, the reality of it all was too much to bear. I was going to have to resolve matters with my family, or at least my father, before too long. I wasn't sure whether I could emotionally make it through this without some kind of support.

As I opened the front door, I was instantly greeted by my youngest brother, Mark.

"Ellie!" he squealed, running to me and wrapping his little arms around my waist. He had just turned seven before I left, and he must be at least eight by now.

I dropped my bag and embraced him tightly. Mark was simply a ball of boundless energy and was always the one who cheered me up, even when it was a problem he wouldn't understand. I had probably missed him the most out of my siblings.

Even with the somber occasion, I couldn't hide my smile. I kissed the top of his head, and squatted down to his level.

"I missed 'ya, Marky," I said, giving him another big smile. He returned it and moved out of the way.

After greeting Anna and Keelan, my two other siblings, I walked over to my mother. She looked like she wanted to say something more than "It's good to see you, honey", but under the dark glare of my father decided against it. So all we shared was a stiff embrace and quick kiss on the cheek.

I went up the steps and slowly entered my old room, which had remained untouched since I left, as a thin film of dust covered all of the hard surfaces. I flopped onto my bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

I wasn't sure what to feel at the moment. I never regret my decision for leaving. I rarely saw much of my family the year before I left. My dad was always working. I had thought at the time that that was all he cared about. I figured his unintentional stumble into wealth had set a constant fear in his mind that we would lose all of it.

I knew the real reason was because of Bobby. Coming home had become a painful experience for all of us when we saw his seat empty at the dinner table and his bedroom vacant. So, my father had found refuge in his work. The rest of the family found refuge in other ways, whether it be starting a family and moving out, finding a job, or busying themselves in school. Working the graveyard shift at the diner downtown for a year and half after I graduated, I needed something different and Lord knows I needed out of my house.

And yet, as I glanced about the room, I felt a dull sense of longing. Yeah, it hadn't exactly been a happy place for the last couple months, but it was still the place where I grew up, and part of me had missed it.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Keelan cautiously walked in. He put his hands in his pockets, and stared at the floor.

"How's New York?" he asked quietly.

"It's good…it's hard to get by, sometimes, but it's good.

"Your roommates are alright?"

I smiled at the thought of them. "Yes…not your typical roommates, but they're good people."

He nodded and sat down on the edge of my bed. I sat up to face him.

Taking my hands in his, he lowered his voice. "Listen, Ellie…I know you think Mom and Dad are furious at you, and never want to see you again…but it's not true. They want you home more than anything."

I didn't respond.

"Dad complains how you never call home all the time. He's always sulky on holidays. Bobby and I tried to cheer him up whenever we were home, saying you'd call one of these days…"

"But you never did. When Bobby left and I moved out, Dad went back to being depressed. Now, all he does is work. Sometimes, he won't come home for days. Mom's scared, Anna and I are scared, Mark's scared, even though he doesn't show it, he _misses_ you, Ellie."

Unwanted, guilty tears sprung to my eyes. I hadn't really meant to lose all kinds of contact with my family. After I moved into Sadie's place, I had fell into an odd sort of routine, and my home here had faded into nothing more than a memory. The remorse churning the pit of my stomach at the moment was almost unbearable.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, I'll…I'll talk to him," I promised.

He pulled me into a warm embrace and held me for a while, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head. When we finally pulled apart, he took my hands again and looked me directly in the eye.

"Come home, Ellie."

I gave him a small smile and wiped a stray tear off my cheek. "I can't leave New York…I've got too much to lose there. But I will come home. I promise."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Gathering up the courage to talk with my father was more difficult than I had intended. But with the support of my brother, I finally got the gall to talk to him.

I knew that this wasn't going to be a major cry fest, in which we kissed and made-up afterwards. My father was as tough as nails. He publically shows the same amount of emotions as a rock does.

So, as I spoke to my father, it took all my willpower not to lose my temper or my composure. I knew the second I cracked he would lose all sense of open-mindedness and stop listening. I managed to get through it without going crazy.

After I was done, he sternly nodded and agreed quietly that he'd be happy if I came home at least over Christmas and the Fourth of July.

I was about to leave the room, but before I did, I stopped and did something neither of us expected. I hugged him. Despite the aspects of my father that I hated, he was still my Dad.

"I missed you," I said into his shoulder.

He didn't say anything at first, but after a little bit, I thought I heard his gruff voice, with a touch of affection, reply:

"I missed you, too."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_You tell me that you've got everything you want  
And your bird can sing  
But you don't get me, you don't get me _

_When your prized possessions start to wear you down  
Look in my direction, I'll be round, I'll be round _

_When your bird is broken will it bring you down  
You may be awoken, I'll be round, I'll be round._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Max sat on the rooftop of the tenant house, taking a long drag from his cigarette and looking up at the breathtaking view of the city.

Sadie and JoJo were out. Lucy and Jude were God knows where. Prudence was taking a nap. So he had snuck up to the rooftop to have some privacy, for once.

As he saw the glimmering lights in the distance, he thought of Ellie. She had dragged him up here once, babbling about the gorgeous view they had from up here and how in the world did he not see it before and how he just _had_ to see it.

He remembered their little escapade a few days ago. As much as it pained him to admit this, she had brought up decent points. He had never really cared what happened to those girls after he slept with them. He figured that there were too many beautiful women in the world, and staying with one would limit his possibilities.

But, he realized with reluctance, that yes, they had feelings, too. None of them had said that they were in love with him, however. He chuckled, remembering her flustering when she brought up the notion.

_Did I just catch her off-guard…or is El crushing on me?_

He thoughtfully watched the smoke from his cigarette swirl with the night air, thinking what it would be like to date her. The girl was pretty, there's no doubt about that. Her bitchiness was actually kind of amusing, and it was great fun to push her buttons. He knew she was only so uptight because she was passionate and cared about the people she loved. She had always been a good friend.

_Maybe dating her wouldn't be so bad, _he wondered. But could he really give up his carefree style with women? He was a flirt wherever he went, that's just how he was. He wouldn't want to lose Ellie completely if things didn't work out.

Max shook his head, thinking this was something he might need to consult Jude about.

_The bastard gets women staring him every day, and he seems to keep one girl no problem. _he thought to himself jealously.

He sighed, now missing someone to talk to, put out his cigarette, and left the rooftop unsatisfied.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Falling in love again, I never wanted to.  
What am I to do, I can't help it.  
Love has always been my game, play it how I may  
I was made that way, can't help it. _

_Women cluster to me like moths around a flame,  
And if their wings burn, I know I'm not to blame  
Falling in love again, I never wanted to  
What am I to do, I can't help it._

_Women cluster to me like moths around a flame,  
And if their wings burn, I know I'm not to blame  
Falling in love again, I never wanted to  
What am I to do, I can't help it._

................................................................................................................................................

**Hopefully, you like the changes.**

**Please review!**


	5. With a Little Help, I Am the Walrus

**Much more editing done with this and the next chapter…some plot points are changed up a bit (although the overall outcome is the same, obviously :D).**

**No one's really done this, but I want to know what you think of the edited chapters! Please review!**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Even with the support from my family, Bobby's funeral was still unbearably painful. I don't know how many shoulders I cried on, how many people I attempted to comfort. I normally tried to keep my emotions to myself in situations like this, but it was almost impossible to do so.

After a long plane back to New York, I finally stumbled into the apartment at 3:30 in the morning.

The place was dark, much to my surprise. Most of the time Sadie's parties lasted well into the early morning; she must not have had a gig tonight. As I walked into the kitchen, I noticed a slouched silhouette leaning heavily against the table and the soft light from a cigarette hanging loosely out of his mouth.

"Hey," Max said softly when he heard me walk in.

"Hey," I replied, setting down my bags. "You alright?"

He gave a shrug and shook the hair out of his eyes. He put out his cigarette, slowly releasing the last of the nicotine through his nostrils, and got up to turn on some lights.

He walked back over to me, giving me a small smile. "I think the more important question is are _you_ alright?"

I chuckled ruefully and rubbed my tired, tired eyes. "No…not at all."

He pulled me in for a warm, tight embrace. "You're not alone in that department, babe. You're not alone."

I sighed as he released me, pushing tangled hair out of my eyes. "Don't take this the wrong way…but can I stay with you tonight? The last thing I need right now is to be alone."

He nodded, slung an arm my shoulders, and led me into his bedroom. I immediately collapsed on his bed, glad to sleep in something that wasn't moving or sitting upright. He sat down next to me, folding his legs in underneath him.

We sat there for a few moments in deafening silence, not really knowing what to say.

"I just can't believe he's gone…" I mumbled quietly into the bedspread.

"Did he ever come home?" he asked.

I nodded, turning my face so my words could be heard. "I never saw him after he left, since I was here…but Dad told me he came home. He even-"

My breath caught a little. Even with his funeral past me, it was still so hard to talk about him, and especially what I was about to say next.

"He even had the chance to stay home for good. But he didn't want to."

"He was one of those 'hero' types?" Max said, trying to mask the disdain in his voice, but it didn't go unnoticed. Normally, I would've been pissed. But given his predicament, I understood his bitterness. I rolled over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling.

"I guess so…he didn't want to leave his friends behind; he said he felt like he was leaving them to die alone if he didn't go back."

I fell silent, not wanting to say anymore because it just plain hurt too much.

"I'm not sure if this is 'honorable' or 'responsible' or whatever shit it is…" he started. "…but I promise the second I get the chance to come home, you can guarantee I'll be on that plane. Besides, all my friends are here."

He looked down at me, a smile playing at his lips.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes a little. "I'm sure you'll make friends, Max."

He scoffed. "Nah…I'm sure I'll be surrounded with a bunch of pricks who brag about how many bottles of beer they can chug in a minute or how many chicks they've banged…"

"If I remember correctly, that's what you do."

"…oh yeah."

I grinned, to which he returned. Then he moved himself so that his back rested comfortably against the wall. He took me by the shoulders and dragged me to him so that my head rested in his lap.

"Hey…" he said, looking down at me again. He smiled. "I missed you, El."

"I missed you, too."

"Particularly your bitching; the day just wasn't as interesting without it."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be sure to give you a double dose tomorrow."

"Good."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_What would you do if I sang out of tune?_

_Would you stand up and walk out on me?_

_Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song._

_And I'll try not to sing out of key._

_Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends._

_Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends._

_I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends._

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Weeks flew by, and Max's deportation to hell was looming closer and closer. Two weeks before he was due to leave, Sadie had been invited to party honoring the famed Dr. Robert, who was kicking off his tour "across the universe" for a week and a half.

Max instantly jumped at the idea, wanting one last blowout before he left. So, using Sadie's connections, we all snuck into the apartment where the party was happening.

I couldn't believe somebody actually _lived_ here. If anything, it was an upscale nightclub, complete with color-changing tiles that covered the room wall-to-wall, a room whose walls were mirrors, and a room that was completely glow-in-the-dark.

Once we got settled, briefly meeting the woman who owned the place and Sadie's possible producer, everyone scrambled to the drink bar. Supposedly, there was some "pink punch" that was laced with something that made you feel lighter than air. As my friends gulped the liquid down eagerly, I looked at my full glass with hesitation.

Was this really a good idea? God knows where we would end up if we all got high.

To my relief, Dr. Robert was then introduced. I sneakily set my glass down on the table and turned away from the tempting drink, looking towards the doorway where he sauntered in.

He was the most fantastically strange person I've ever seen. Blue, tinted glasses hid his eyes, and a bright pink bandanna was wrapped tightly across his forehead. A straw, cowboy head rested on the top of his head, wavy, brown locks stopped at his shoulders, and a handlebar moustache led to his lips, which were curved upward in a strange smirk. When I managed to shake hands with him, he gave the goofy, yet serious smile and a little nod. I shook my head and chuckled.

This will certainly be an interesting experience.

After a brief opening that was filled with complete nonsense, he took to the stage. I felt an elbow heavily rest on my right shoulder, causing me to turn and look. Max was there, punch in the hand on my shoulder, and the other wrapped around a pretty, shy-looking blonde.

"El…Ellie, Ellie, _Ellie_…" he mumbled, already a little tipsy. "You've…you've _got_ to try the punch. That shit's _fantastic._"

"Uh…I think I'll pass."

He shook his head vigorously, muttering "No, no, no." as he grasped my wrist and dragged me to the punch table. Picking up the glass I had earlier, he shoved it into my hand, gave me a wink, and returned to the dance floor with the blonde.

I stared at the glass for moment before thinking _what the hell?_ and downing it all in one gulp.

The bitterly sweet liquid had me seeing stars for a moment. Everything in front of me became blurry, my head throbbing uncontrollably. I gripped something…I think it was the edge of the table, stumbling blindly until I found a wall. I leaned against it, feeling my legs buckling and wanting it all to just _go away._

Then the throbbing stopped and things became crystal-clear sharp. My body was suddenly light as air and the room started to come back. But it was different now. Bright, fluorescent colors splashed across the walls, lighting up the people's faces with solarized flair.

I was in fucking Utopia.

I giggled hysterically and poured myself another glass. And another. And another. Eventually, I could barely remember where I was, who I was with, or why I was even here. None of it mattered.

I stumbled back onto the dance floor, knocking into at least three other people, but none of them seemed to mind. As I glanced dazedly through the crowd of people, I saw Max grinding against a different woman, a gorgeous red-head this time.

Suddenly, I felt the strong urge to go over and slap her. I didn't care whether she was a bitch or not. Why was _she_ dancing with _him_? I also didn't care that Max wasn't my property or anything. I wanted that girl _away _from him.

So I pushed through the crowd. When I reached the two, I snatched his wrist, mumbled something along the lines of "Back off, bitch." to the red-head and pulled him with me. The girl was obviously perturbed, but Max only followed my lead with airy amusement.

I took him all the way to the far wall, where I started laughing wildly at what had just happened, gripping him by the shoulders for support.

Even in my fucked-up state of mind, I still couldn't believe what I had just done.

"You've lost your mind…" I heard him say, though he was laughing, too.

"Who cares?!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms into the air. With that, I grabbed the collar of his shirt, yanked him towards me, and forcefully pressed my lips against his.

I no longer heard anything that was going on around us, nor saw anyone else. The only thing I could feel was Max's mouth moving against mine and my hand on the back of his head, playing with his shaggy, blonde locks.

And honest to God, that was the last thing I remembered.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together._

_See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly._

_I'm crying…_

_Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come._

_Corporation T-Shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday._

_Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long._

_I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus._

_Goo Goo G'Joob…_

……………………………………………………………………………………………....

Stumbling off the bus, I squinted as bright sunlight shone on my face. Swerving this way and that, I finally toppled into an exhausted heap on the soft grass right in front of the lake.

I had no idea where we were, or how we got here. Plain and simple. The last thing I remembered was that fantastic kiss that Max probably didn't even recollect and I never would've done had I not be high as a kite.

At this point, I didn't even care. All I wanted was to take a hot shower and a nice, long nap.

"Where are we?" Lucy questioned somewhere above me.

"I dunno…and I don't know how we got here," Max replied, coming up behind her. Other travelers chuckled in agreement.

"What is that place?" Jude asked, pointing at the spiral-topped building across the lake.

Dr. Robert appeared from the bus and leaned comfortably against the bus door.

"Headquarters of the League of Spiritual Deliverance," he muttered "…the home of Dr. Geary…another outlaw, like myself…we're navigators, we're aviators, we're…eatin' taters.…"

He continued on a little rant, something about not shedding any tears and masturbating alligators…

Let's face it, I'm losing my mind.

"Hey Doc!" called one of people, a face I didn't recognize. "He says he won't see you, man."

"Is he sick?"

"…just said he was busy…"

I tuned out the conversation, much more interested in the soft grass I was laying on. I was seconds away from drifting off to sleep when Dr. Robert's booming voice rudely interrupted.

"Alright, everybody back on the bus…we're going home…to California."

I groaned. We just got here, for Christ's sake, and last time I checked, we don't live in California.

To my relief, very few people decided to get back on the bus. Actually, lots of people, including a good number of my friends, shouted angry profanities as the bus sped off down the dirt road.

What can you say? We may be hippies, but we're pissed when we get ripped off.

"Well, this is just perfect. My last blowout before the army and we're stuck in the middle of…where are we, hmm?" Max grumbled, clearly irritated.

"Doesn't matter…I am me, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together…" I mumbled, a silly grin spreading across my face.

Jude chuckled and helped me to my feet. He took both of my hands and twirled me around. "That's right, and if nobody's everybody then somebody can be anybody…"

I giggled, almost falling again. What we were saying made no sense and total sense at the same time. While acid wasn't pumping as strongly through my veins, everything was still in a thick haze. I could barely comprehend the words coming out of people's mouths.

Lucy, in a similar state I was, had something about pretty music and begun skipping gaily down the hill, with everyone following behind her except me, Max, and Sadie.

We exchanged bemused glances, not knowing what else to do but follow them. I started to stroll aimlessly down the hill, in no particular hurry, when Jude came up to me from behind and pushed me along forcefully, saying "Come on, come on!"

As we came over the top of the hill, there was a plethora of strange statues, cows, tents, gigantic hands. We finally came to the bottom of the hill, and I stared in awe as a colorful tent rose up from the ground, and an odd, little man dressed as a ringmaster appeared with a flourish from the tent flaps. A large banner hung over his head, reading "The Celebrated Mr. Kite!"

Oh, boy. We're going out of our _minds_.

……………………………………………………………………………………………....

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	6. Do You Want to Know a Secret?

**Hi everyone!**

**I'm going to try to post all the edited chapters before I post the final one, just so I can actually say it's completed with the last chapter.**

**I'd really appreciate some reviews on the edited chapters. I want to know if you think they are better or not.**

**This one has substantially changed (the basic plot line still remains, but happens a little differently, and some parts are added in.), so read carefully!**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

After we left Mr. Kite's show, we went to the tents that had been set up on the other side of the hill. They were what the circus performers lived in, and they were glad to house us for however long we stayed.

I'll admit, it was fun for a while. We met up again with Prudence and her new friend, Rita, started a bon fire, got to know a few performers. It was great…until it got late, that is, when everyone decided to go off with their destined lover or go to bed.

Max and I watched with mock disbelief as we were soon the only ones sitting around the fire. After a while, he shrugged, and we walked down to the lake, and sat on the edge of the dock.

Pulling a beer out of what seemed like thin air, Max opened it by cracking the lid against the side of the dock.

I sighed, dipping my feet into the cool lake water longingly. "So, here we are again, single…and _lonely_."

"Eh…" he started, shrugging a little. "You get used to feeling the fifth, sixth, seventh wheel after a while."

I heaved a dramatic sigh nonetheless. After taking a long sip, Max wiped the extra off his lip and thrust the bottle in front of my face. I took it, attempting to down the rest of it in one gulp, and failing spectacularly. I sputtered, projecting the liquor all over myself.

Max doubled over with laughter, his lanky frame curling into a ball and rolling on the dock.

Suddenly, that cold lake water was looking more and more tempting to push something, or rather, _someone_ into.

Fighting the urge, all I did was give him a little smack, which quieted his laughter. We fell into an uncomfortable silence; the questions that neither of us wanted to bring up looming in the air.

"So…that was some party, huh?" he started eventually.

Not to my, or probably his, surprise, I turned a furious shade of scarlet. "Er…yeah. It was great."

"_Ellie…_" he said in an all-knowing tone, glancing over at me. I slowly turned to face him, shifting uncomfortably on the gritty wood.

"Don't think I didn't remember what you did…"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ellie, Ellie, Ellie…" he grumbled, slinging an arm around my shoulder and pulling me towards him. "Did it ever occur to you that I might have caught on to your…flirtations?"

I didn't respond; not because I didn't want to, merely because I literally had no idea what to say.

"Did it also ever occur to you that the feelings are mutual?"

"Which feelings? The fact I want to date you or the fact I want to fuck you?" I inquired bluntly.

This sent him into surprised hysterics, his head dropping into his hand and a silly grin spreading across his face. I don't blame him; I'm not known for making out-of-the-blue statements, however, at this point, I couldn't hold back any longer.

Once his giggling subdued, he shook his head and smiled at me sideways. "You never fail to amuse me, Eleanor. Even when you're pissy as hell."

"Well, I'm glad I'm making one of our lives better. But you still didn't answer the question."

"Right, right…well, I don't know…kiss me, and I guess we'll find out."

I must have winced a little as his suggestion, because he sighed loudly in exasperation.

"El, you grabbed me by the freakin' shirt collar and yanked me towards your mouth the last time we did this-"

"You say it like I wasn't completely out of my mind…"

"…you've got a point, but _still_. Plant one on me, angel cake."

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't ignore the fact that my hands had started to shake and my heart was pounding in my chest. Seriously, you would think I was a sixteen year-old about to be kissed for the first time. My mind screamed at me to stop acting like a girl and just _kiss_ the damn boy. So, I heaved a sigh, swiveled my hips so that they were parallel to his, put two hands on the side of his face, and kissed him.

Well, all I can say is that kissing him was way better sober. When the kiss broke, I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and my palms going clammy. I smiled weakly and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, avoiding his glance.

"El, don't worry. We all start out being bad kissers." Max said, a wicked smile growing on his lips. I thought that comment deserved punishment, so I gave him a hearty shove into the icy lake water with a splash. And this time, I definitely meant for that to happen.

Well, this was Max, so seconds later when he surfaced, I felt wet hands grab my leg and pull me feet-first into the water.

_Good Lord_, was that cold water. I mean, I knew it was chilly; I had dipped my toes into it before. But it's a way different feeling when it's enveloping your entire body. I burst to the surface as fast as I possibly could.

When I looked over to him, he was grinning from ear to ear. "You notice whenever we have arguments we end up here?"

I chuckled. "You've got a point. I'll be sure to kick your ass somewhere far, far away from freezing cold water. _Jesus_…"

He swam over to me, treading water as he wrapped his long arms around my waist. He leaned in slightly, close enough so that our foreheads touched.

"Am I really that bad of a kisser?" I couldn't help but ask with a raised eyebrow.

"That's the last thing you are, babe," he replied, pressing his lips to mine. This time, the warmth I felt rising in my body was not from embarrassment. I was melting like a popsicle. When we pulled apart, I looped my arms around his neck as he trailed down my neck, resting his chin in the dip between my neck and shoulder.

Sighs of exasperation interrupted my moment of utter bliss. Looking up, I saw Lucy and Jude, hand in hand, standing on the dock, shaking their heads but smiling.

"I was wondering when we'd find you two like this," Jude noted. Both of us rolled our eyes, but had no retort for the Englishman. Swimming over to the dock, we heaved ourselves out of the water with a little help from the other couple.

Both of us shivered viciously as we walked back to our tents. Jude put an arm around Max's shoulders and patted his back.

"Luce and I found that sex in freezing water isn't as enjoyable as it looks, mate" he whispered loudly, loud enough for me to hear.

I gave him a shove that sent him toppling into a light pole with a loud smack. He yelped in pain, Lucy moaned with sympathy, but Max and I laughed our asses off. Jude got to his feet and chased both us back to into Max's tent. We must have looked like fifth graders, chasing each other and screeching loudly. I couldn't but notice Sadie watching from the campfire at one point, a hand on her hip and a bemused grin on her face.

I collapsed onto the bed, still snickering a little. Max followed suit.

"Now…where were we?" he said, his intentions anything but innocent as his fingers began fiddling with the button to my jeans.

I chuckled, helping him with my pants and finally kicking the jeans off my legs.

"Mmm…I think I remember…" I murmured with a grin, looping my legs around his waist and reeling him in for a fiery kiss.

It wasn't long until both of us were naked and going at it madly. I decided not to inform beforehand that yes, I was indeed a virgin. I knew I would pay mercifully for it later, so I kept my mouth shut. Although, he probably wouldn't be surprised at all.

We may have come from similar backgrounds, but we certainly reacted to that in different ways.

When it was all said and done and Max had fallen asleep, I threw on a long t-shirt and went outside, a fire still crackling in the pit. Jude was the only one up, a sketchpad in his lap. He looked up at my arrival and he smiled at me warmly, although it was clear there was some amusement behind that smile.

"So…how'd it go? It certainly sounded like you two were having a good time."

I stopped in my tracks. "What?"

He laughed and shook his head. "I always knew Max was a loud one, that was clear from the start, but _blimey_, El, you are a _screamer._"

Oh, my ears must've turned as red as a tomato.

"I…I was that loud?" I asked in a small voice.

"Oh, darling…" he trailed off and raised his eyebrows suggestively. I winced and shifted uncomfortably on the balls of my feet.

He chuckled again, a sweet smile growing on his face. He set his sketch pad off to the side and stood up, coming over to me. "I'm only joking, luv."

I gave him a deserved scowl but secretly felt relieved. He grinned at me and gave me a hug. I returned it warmly.

"Oy! Liverpool! What, first my sister, now my girlfriend?"

We released each other and turned. Max stood at the opening flaps of the tent, only clad in his boxers, hair sticking up in all different directions.

"You know it, mate. You better watch out, because I'm headed for you next."

"Eh," Max started, waving a hand. "I don't screw brunettes. I do, however…" He came up to them, wrapping his arms around my waist fro

m behind. "…screw black girls. Or at least I do now. So if you'll excuse us-"He began pulling me towards the tent.

"Just keep it down, alright?" Jude gave me wink as I was slowly dragged back into the tent. I swiveled around in Max's arms and gave him a kiss as his fingers played with the ends of my shirt.

After another episode of love-making (it was better the second time!), I rested on his chest, my head rising and falling with every breath he took.

I should be thanking my lucky stars for being the position I'm in right now. I didn't know if this was going to amount to anything of substance, but I at least hoped he felt the same way about me that I did about him.

I'm pretty sure I was falling for the guy, and falling hard. I wasn't sure if this was love, but it was the most content I had felt in a long time.

If only that damn war didn't have to take him away.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_You'll never know how much I really love you._

_You'll never know how much I really care._

_Listen,_

_Do you want to know a secret?_

_Do you promise not to tell, whoa oh, oh._

_Closer,_

_Let me whisper in your ear,_

_Say the words I want you to hear,_

_I'm in love with you._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The next morning, I woke up in his arms. When he finally opened his eyes, he smiled sleepily and gave me a kiss. Well, one thing led to another, and about a half an hour later, I lay sprawled on one side of the bed, panting heavily and sweat pouring from my forehead.

If anyone who had known me from high school had just found out I had just had sex three times in the time span of about ten hours, they probably would've laughed and figured I was being mixed up with some other girl.

I couldn't help it. It felt _good_.

Slipping on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, I sauntered outside, squinting my eyes at the painfully bright sunlight. It was a beautiful morning, nevertheless. Lucy sat on one of the logs near the fire pit, a mug of coffee in her hands. She looked and smiled at my arrival.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too."

"Have a good night?" she asked with a hint of an impish smirk.

I raised a seductive eyebrow and grinned. "You know it. I'll spare you the details."

She laughed. "Oh, don't worry. Me and the rest of us heard them loud and clear."

I flushed scarlet and immediately changed the subject by asking where she got the coffee. She told me, but continued to smile at me wickedly. I scurried over to the boarding house as fast I could, only muttering "hello" to Sadie, JoJo, and Prudence, figuring they had similar comments.

I found Jude sitting at the table in the small kitchen in the house, his brow furrowed and a pencil in his mouth as he studied a piece of paper. I shook my head a little and sighed in exasperation. There was a rare moment that you ever found him not doing some artistic.

"Those muses never give you a break, do they?" I said as I began to pour myself a cup of coffee.

It took him a moment, but he looked up, then turned his focus back to his drawing. "Erm…yeah, I guess so."

"So what're drawing?"

He was already lost in his own world, scratching away on the paper and graphite beginning to creep onto the tips of his fingers. I rolled my eyes, but let him work. I shouldn't be perturbed.

All he would do is give me more grief about my apparently loud orgasms, anyway, and I had gotten plenty of that this morning.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

I don't remember how we all ended up in the fields, but one by one, we would come floating down the hill, in a haze that wasn't caused by any type of drugs or substances. No, this was purely a thick fog of euphoria that surrounded us, causing all of us to slip through the lush fields that had a lingering scent of strawberries and fall into a mish-mashed circle of some sort.

Occasionally, I saw a ladybug or a cricket crawl absently across my elbow, but I could barely feel it, even though every inch of my skin felt ultra-sensitive to the brilliant yellow sun shining down on us and the soft, gentle wisps of grass brushing against me. It wasn't long before I sensed the familiar smell of cologne, cigarettes, and beer. I let my head fall to the right, a soft smile spreading on my face as I felt Max's lips press against my forehead. Even in this moment we shared, I dangled my hand over to the left, slipping it into Sadie's warm, gentle one and giving it a squeeze.

Why we began to sing and who started it in the first place, I don't know. But it wasn't long until the words that had felt like they had been stuck in my throat for days came tumbling out of my mouth.

_Ah…_

_Because the world is round, it turns me on…_

_Because the world is round…_

_Ah…_

_Because the wind is high, it blows my mind…_

_Because the wind is high…_

_Ah…_

_Love is old, love is new._

_Love is all, love is you._

As my eyes closed, it was not a dark world I entered, but one that sparkled a brilliant blue. Wherever we were, it was difficult to move quickly, but still any movement I made was fluid and smooth, and any sound was muffled and dulled. It felt like water, the atmosphere wet and cool against my body, but I could still feel air rushing through my nostrils and filling my lungs. I had no idea where I was, but I felt the silky fabric of Prudence's dress, Lucy's flowing hair, Jude's warm hands, and Max's long arms whenever I reached out my hand, so I knew I was safe.

_Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry…_

_Because the sky is blue…_

_Ah…_

I dared to open my eyes, comforted by the thought that I was around the people I loved. We were in fact in a brilliant blue world of some sort, floating along as if we had no purpose at all. Any distinct features of my friends were lost, but it was clear who was who, and they seemed to pass by just as quickly as they came.

Then, I felt a hand that had been tightly clasped in mine loosen its grip. I turned and slowly watched as Max drifted upwards, away from all of us, to the surface above. Suddenly, I could no longer breathe. Water replaced the air and filled my lungs. Nostrils and eyes burning, I struggled to follow him, but continued to sink. The calming silence that had once been there slowly grew to a deafening roar. I was sinking fast, no longer surrounded by my friends, and darkness folding in over my eyes, the last thing I see is Max turning around and giving me one last solemn glance before he breaks the surface.

I woke with the start. The sun was no longer high in the sky, but far in the west, the light dimming slowly around us. I sat up, shaking my head a little, and looked around. Most of us were still in our circle, albeit a few people we had met and bonded with at Dr. Robert's party, but everyone was awake and talking as if that haze of utter bliss had never happened at all.

"Everything alright, luv?"

I looked to my far right, seeing Jude looking up at me, his arms wrapped around a sleeping Lucy, with slight concern. I forced a small smile onto my face.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just a little nightmare, that's all."

I tried to shake it off, but I knew that with two days before Max was due to leave, things were about to go downhill, and fast.

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**Yeah, I took out some of the angst, but as you know, there's plenty of that in the next chapter.**

_**Please**_** review. I hate begging, but I miss them. Thank you to those of you who review faithfully, but I'd love to get more.**


	7. If You've Got Trouble

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The night before Max left was hard on all of us. Everyone tried to be overly cheerful, steering conversations away from the war or him leaving, Max included. He cracked more jokes than usual, having a bright, but slightly forced smile plastered on his face all day.

By the time we were having dinner in the boarding house, though, he fell silent. He picked at his food, letting his blonde bangs fall loosely in front of his face. Everyone else, however, was loud and happy as could be, still trying to keep the mood up.

"Damn it, I forgot about that big hole in the drywall behind my bed that we've got to fix when we get home…" Sadie was saying.

"How did it get there?" Jude asked.

Sadie and JoJo exchanged seductive glances, causing a few of the boys at the table to whistle lowly and mutter teasing jabs in their direction. They chose to ignore all of this, unlike me who turned bright red at mere mention of me and Max.

"Anyway…are any of you boys relatively handy with tools?" she asked.

JoJo shook his head. "I tried working as a carpenter for a while, just to help out the family. But man, I was _terrible_ at it. It's a wonder somebody's house didn't come down. Sorry, mama. Jude…what about you?"

"Well, yeah, I guess I'm alright…haven't picked up a tool in ages, though," Jude replied. "Max is probably the best choice out of the three of us."

Max glanced up at the mention of his name, his eyes dull and hard, then returned to staring at his food.

Everyone exchanged nervous looks. Even when he was angry, it wasn't like him to go this long without saying something.

Sadie gave him an anxious smile. "Come on, honey. I'll take off rent money if you help, and considering you still owe me rent from a few months ago, I know you need that."

Still no answer.

Lucy let out a shaky sigh and reached her hand across the table, gently shaking her brother's arm.

"Max? She's asking you something."

"I heard her. Thanks," he replied bitterly, not looking at her but his eyes now piercing and flamed.

"So…why don't you answer her?"

He rolled his eyes indignantly. "Because I'm not going to be there. She knows that. You know that. We _all_ know that!"

"She was just asking a question-"

"I'm pretty sure the answer is no. It's impossible for me to be in two places at once, last time I checked."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. I knew I should just keep my mouth shut, but I just couldn't hold my tongue any longer.

"Max…we're just trying not to think about it, okay?"

"_Christ_, when the fuck are you people going to realize it's going to happen? I came to that conclusion a long time ago, and I'm the one getting shipped over there! But you all continue to pretend everything's fine and dandy and nothing's happening. But it is, alright? So can we cut the bullshit?!"

Any chatter that had been going on over our conversation stopped. The air was so thick and tense you could've sliced it with a knife.

Lucy was fighting tears.

"Max…I'm sorry…"

"Yeah, I _know_ you're sorry," he cut in angrily. "You're all sorry and that's fantastic…but you don't _understand_ and none of you are trying very hard to, which is really starting to piss me off. You can reassure me and say I'll be fine, but you still don't _get_ it!"

He stood up from the table and stalked off, slamming the door forcefully behind him. Jude got up to follow him, but JoJo put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Let him be." he said. "Just let him be for now. He needs some time alone."

He nodded with reluctance, instead going off to comfort Lucy, who had fled the table in tears. The rest of us mindlessly picked at our food for the next few minutes, everything reduced to a cheerless hush.

After everyone finally left the table, I couldn't wait any longer. I set my dishes in the sink, grabbed a light jacket, and went outside to look for him. I found him in the first place I looked, the dock by the lake.

Just the sight of him sitting on the warped wood, his head in his hands, made my heart ache.

I walked up to him cautiously, still leaving about ten feet between us. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Coming to shower me with sympathy?" he asked ruefully, his voice thick and hoarse.

I opened my mouth to answer, but stopped when I realized I didn't know the exact reason why I had come. I wanted to more than anything, but of course, I couldn't, because I knew he wouldn't listen to me if I did.

"No…I guess not," I finally replied with a sigh, looking down at my feet.

He snorted bitterly at my remark. "Oh? Why not? Sick of being the shoulder to lean on?..."

"…yeah…me too…" he muttered, quietly but still audible enough for me to hear.

I exhaled slowly, pushing the hair out of my face. It was already becoming difficult to remain composed. I wish he could know how much this is tearing me apart.

"I guess I came down here because…because I want you to know that we get it."

Now he turned to me, his eyes rimmed red but still flaming and narrowed in anger.

"You…you think you _get_ it?...tell me, does Jude know what it feels like to be forced to defend your country? Does Lucy knowwhat it feels like to know you are going to kill hundreds of people? Do _you_ know what it feels like when you are told you're getting shipped off to certain death?"

This made me want to take him by the shoulders and shake him senseless or scream at him until I went hoarse. But knowing our temperaments, it would only end in a screaming contest if I did either of those things, and the last thing I wanted was to spend his last night with us by myself.

I forced the words I wanted to say down, and said this instead. "None of us will ever know what that feels like. But that's not what I meant. I meant…we know why you don't want us to pretend."

He shook his head furiously, turning away from me. But there was no way I was going to come this far and give up now. I closed the gap between us, stopping right behind him.

"I know you don't want us to, and I know why. You think we'll end up getting more hurt in the end…that may be the case, but Max…that's all we get. We only get to hope that you'll come back safe and alive, because the rest we don't know…look, I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but you've got to understand that this isn't easy for us, either."

He didn't answer immediately, but after a few minutes, his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, and I thought I saw him nod just a little bit. I took this as a sign that it was safe to sit next to him.

Neither of us said anything for a while. Absently, I dug my fingernails into the gritty wood, remembering how a few days ago we had arrived here, completely blissful and carefree. It seemed so far away now, that happiness smothered by this never-ending pain and fear.

"Ellie…" he started eventually. Slowly, I turned to him, and the way he looked at me made my insides churn.

"Shit…" His gaze dropped to his hands. "I'm…I'm sorry, I'm just…I'm just scared, okay?"

That's when my reserve collapsed. The vulnerability he had been hiding for months had finally broken him. There was no underlying tone of mockery in his voice. No light sarcasm twinkled in his eyes, no devious smile twitched at his lips. No longer was he laid-back, lighthearted Max. He was the raw, shattered remains of what was left of him.

Tears burned my eyes and I tried to swallow them quickly, but a few trickled down my face. I realized that even if I wanted to, there was nothing reassuring or inspiring I could say that would make the situation any better. Though he didn't say anything, I could tell he wanted to be alone. I had said what I wanted to say, so I could at least leave him in peace.

So, I brought his head to mine and kissed his temple lightly. I gave him as much as a smile that I could muster, then stood up and walked back to my tent, letting the tears that have wanted to fall flow down my face.

When I got back, I collapsed into a sobbing mess, having only one thought pulsing through my brain as I did so.

One way or another, this war is going to kill him.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Max finally returned to the tents about two hours later, knowing there were people he had to talk to before the night was over.

Sadie sat by the bon fire, legs crossed Indian-style and her back rested comfortably against the bench, the light from the flames flickering across her face. She caught his eye as he walked by and smiled, which he returned weakly. She got up and walked over to him, embracing him tightly.

"Sadie…about earlier-" he started to mumble into her shoulder.

She shushed him gently, rubbing his back. "Forget it. It's over with."

He pulled away slowly and shook his head a little, trying to clear his aching head.

"I'd better go see if El's okay…" he muttered, running a shaky hand through his hair as he started to turn towards their tent.

She caught his arm before he could go any further. "I think you'd better see your sister first. She's been sobbing herself into a tizzy for about an hour or so."

He stopped for a second, wanting to see both of them but not sure who to see first.

"Jude's been tending to her for a while, and I think he needs a break…El will be fine, she'll wait for you."

He nodded in agreement and headed into the tent his sister and best friend shared. He found Jude sitting upright against the headboard, his arms wrapped around his girlfriend. Lucy had her face buried into his shoulder, shaking with silent sobs. His best friend was desperately trying to comfort her, resting his head on top of hers, but looked exhausted and depressed that he couldn't do anymore for her.

Jude finally looked up, seeing Max, and his eyes flooded with relief. He kissed the top of Lucy's head, letting her know that her brother had come in, and got up from the bed. Before leaving, though, he gave the American a warm embrace, whispering "I did all I could, mate." into his ear before releasing him, smiling tiredly at the two siblings, and walking out of the tent.

"Max…"she tried to start, but her voice caught in her throat. She shook her head, more tears trickling down her cheeks, letting her golden locks fall in front of her face.

He went to her, filling the position Jude had been in and putting an arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him.

"Luce…I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I just…I just don't know what's going to happen. And I need to know that you'll be alright if…"

He closed his eyes, not wanting to say it, but realizing he could no longer run from the truth.

"…if I don't come back. Can you promise me that?"

She didn't answer for a while, and that worried him. He knew that she was head-over-heels in love with Jude, but even Jude couldn't replace a brother. They weren't twins, but they might as well be considering how close they were. And Max would do anything for his sisters, but always being there for them was getting to be difficult for him.

Lucy was never one for making rash decisions. She was the sensible, responsible child that always had made Mr. and Mrs. Carrigan tell him "Why can't you be more like your sister?" He knew that if he did end up coming home in a body bag that all of his friends would come to her rescue. But he needed to hear her say she would okay. That nagging fear that she would do something to herself wouldn't go away unless she said it.

Finally, she heaved a shaky sigh and nodded. "I'll be okay."

Max felt like collapsing with relief. He may love his friends, but his sisters were what meant the world to him. Knowing that Lucy would be safe took a heavy load off of his shoulders.

He kissed the top of her head and let his cheek rest on the top of her head.

"I love you, Luce," he said softly. "You know that, right?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw the tiniest of smiles form on her lips.

"Of course I do."

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When Max finally left his sister, it must have been at least three in the morning. He stumbled into Ellie's dark tent, finding her curled up on her bed, her back to him.

He quietly joined her, wrapping an arm across her stomach and trailing soft kisses up her spine.

He couldn't help but grin as he felt her shiver and a moan escape her lips. She rolled over to face him, smiling sadly.

Ellie may not be Lucy, but he noticed it killed him when she was sad. So, with that familiar smirk playing at lips, he continued to kiss her, figuring he could get at least one more good fucking before he left. As he stripped himself of his clothes, he tried to push those looming, depressing thoughts out of his head, wanting to enjoy himself best he could on his last night of freedom.

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	8. With Every Mistake, We Must Be Learning

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Saying our final farewells were as difficult as everyone expected. Most of us had worn ourselves out emotionally the night before, but that didn't make it any easier.

Max had reasonably gone back to his normal, satirical self, although looking into his eyes, it was clear he didn't _truly_ feel back to normal.

He smiled as he came over to me to say goodbye.

"Shit…well, I'm definitely going to miss fucking you," he whispered into my ear as I embraced him tightly.

I laughed despite the growing lump in my throat. "The feeling's mutual." 

Before he kissed me that last time, I pressed a finger to his lips.

"This has to last until you get back, so make it good."

A seductive smirk twitched at his lips, as he placed both hands on the small of my back, pressing me against him. Though the kiss we shared was much too short, it was enough to make my knees go weak and my arms to wrap around his neck.

Before I knew it, he was in the car giving all of us a sad little wave and a small smile, and eventually speeding away from the estate, dust swirling behind him.

I stayed close to Jude and Lucy for the rest of the day, who were taking Max's departure harder than anyone else. We sat by the fire pit for the rest of the day, Lucy's head resting in Jude's lap and mine on his shoulder. None of us had uttered since he left. There was simply nothing to say.

As the day wore on, my stomach began to churn uncontrollably. I wasn't sure if it was just the bubbling emotions that had somehow not shown up earlier or that I was truly getting sick, but whatever it was, dear _Lord_, was it painful. Sometime that evening, the little food I had consumed earlier refused to reside in my stomach any longer. Clutching my abdomen, I stumbled into the forest, retching, and vomited for minutes.

Jude eventually came looking for me and ushered me forcefully into bed when he saw my disgusting mess all over the forest floor. There wasn't much point forcing me to bed, though. It's not like I could sleep. First of all, I was having sporadic, excruciating cramps that lasted for a good half-hour each. I downed about half a bottle of pain killers, but no relief came.

Then there was Max. He refused to stay out of my head. I ruefully wished I hadn't gotten involved so close to when he was leaving. I know he told Lucy that he'll write, but he won't. Maybe he will for a little bit, but I'm sure the war itself or some buxom, blonde Red Cross nurse will allow him to forget.

I hoped even with the awful things he would be seeing, he'd at least try to stay faithful.

My cramps seemed to have hit a lull, so I rolled over to one side and fell into a fitful slumber.

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The next couple days weren't much better. Other than my roiling stomach, I didn't feel sick, but I was still constantly vomiting, nonetheless. Sadie kept giving me suspicious glances, but when I asked her what was wrong, she shook her head and said it was nothing. Lucy had cried herself out and remained sulky and distant. Jude and Prudence, bless their hearts, tried to cheer everyone up, but it never seemed to last long. Everyone was miserable or tired, or, in many case, both.

Sadie called up a friend from the city to drive us home. It just happened the friend drove the smallest vehicle in the entire country. We managed to pile into the car, squished in tighter than sardines. This whole ordeal might have been funny if we weren't so damn depressed. Finally, an uncomfortable seven hours later, we finally were home.

I remained couch-ridden for the next week, getting up only to pee or vomit. The days started blending into each other and soon, I had no idea how long I had been on that godforsaken couch.

One morning, I lay there, three blankets thrown over me, a glass of water sitting next to me by the nightstand, and bottle of Tylenol in my hand. I actually felt a bit better this morning, although I noticed if I moved any more than a few inches my stomach would churn in anguish. Looks like another day of sleeping for me.

Sadie was the only one still around. She had a difficult set last night, so I heard, and was probably still asleep.

She stumbled in the living room around noon, giving me a sleepy nod and shuffling into the kitchen.

"You want anything to eat?" she asked me.

I wrinkled my nose. Food sounded absolutely disgusting at the present moment.

"No…I have no desire to see it again in my toilet," I grumbled back.

She gave a sympathetic moan and walked over to me. She felt my forehead and tsked a little when she didn't feel any warmth.

Sadie shook her head and walked back into the kitchen, but she stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around slowly to face me, a puzzled look on her face.

"You're _still_ throwing up, huh?"

"Yeah…"

She leaned against the doorframe, biting her lip a little. She looked like she wanted to ask me something, but was fighting with herself whether to ask it or not. After watching this for a few minutes, I heaved a sigh.

"Sades…what is it?"

"I've just been wondering…have…have you missed your period?"

That was definitely not the question I was expecting to hear.

"Come again?"

"Have you?"

I couldn't figure out why in the world she was asking me this, but I thought back over the past few days, nonetheless. They haven't been all that eventful, as everyone well knows. But, I admit, I definitely couldn't remember going through my lovely menstrual cycle.

"Yeah…I guess I have, but I don't know why that's-"

_Then_ it hit me. Throwing up…missing my period…

Oh. shit.

I whipped into a sitting position, ignoring the rumbling my stomach made in protest, and looked her directly in the eye.

"Sadie, take me to a doctor. _Now._"

She ran to get her purse without any hesitation. It took some effort, but I finally pulled myself off the couch and slipped on some shoes. As soon as she returned to the living room, we dashed out the door.

On the subway ride there, we both remained silent. I watched the dark tunnel rushing by through the dirty windows, attempting to ignore the screaming fit going on in my head. Even though I was quiet, my thoughts must have been written clearly across my face, as Sadie put a comforting arm around my shoulder.

"It's gonna be alright, honey. We don't anything for sure, yet. Let's not jump to any conclusions until we know for sure," she said with as much assurance as she could muster. I didn't reply, because as much as I wanted to believe her, there were too many signs pointing me in the direction of pregnancy. She gave me the tiniest of smiles, pulled me to her, and rested my head on her shoulder, kissing the top of it every so often. I let her words swirl in my head, and frankly, that was the only thing that kept me from losing it throughout the ride.

When we got to the doctor's office, we were directed into room where we were told we would have to wait. Seeing nothing else we could do, we both plopped into the uncomfortable plastic chairs and waited. Sadie instantly busied herself with a tabloid magazine, leaving me with my thoughts.

Pregnant women and new mothers filled the waiting room. As I watched men trying to care for their burdened wives, new mothers shushing their sobbing babies, I became overwhelmed. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the unbelievable noise in the waiting room and focusing on something else.

_Sadie's right. We don't know anything for sure, _I repeated over and over in my head.

I am not ready for this. I am twenty-two years old. This is supposed to be the time when I figure out what I want to do with my life. I wasn't prepared to settle down and have kids. And what in God's name would Max do? I can't even think about that yet. Our relationship was anything but solid at this point; we had been dating a grand total of a week, and Lord knows _children_ hadn't even crossed the realm of possibility yet.

My name was finally called. When Sadie looked at me, I tried my hardest to smile, but it came out more of a wince. She helped me to my feet and kept an arm firmly around my shoulders as we shuffled down the narrow hallway.

"Good morning, Ms. Rigby, I am Dr. Harrison," greeted a stern-looking doctor, who didn't even bother to smile. "Why have you come to us?"

I glanced over at Sadie, hoping she would explain for me. But all she did was give me a little nod of encouragement. I exhaled slowly, turning back to Dr. Harrison.

"I…I think I'm pregnant."

His bushy eyebrows rose, looking between me and Sadie.

"Where is the possible father?" he asked in a tone laced with icy suspicion.

"He's serving in war, sir."

"Mmm…" was all he said in response. It dawned on me that the two of us must have looked like an illegitimate lesbian couple, and a grin of amusement almost passed over my lips. But any of that was quickly wiped off of my face when he led me into a smaller room.

Another doctor came into the room, a nicer-looking one to my relief. He introduced himself, then he handed me a small cup and directed me towards the bathroom. I did what was necessary, handed it back to him, and was told I would have to wait a few minutes for the results. Those five minutes of waiting felt like five hours, my hands shaking uncontrollably and my heart pounding in my chest. Sadie eventually came up and sat next to me on the wax-paper covered chair, interlocking her fingers in mine and squeezing tightly. Finally, the doctor returned with the results in his hand and handed them to me, saying I should see for myself. After a few moments of deep breaths, I delicately opened up the folded paper.

If any words were said, I didn't hear any of them. My world, which has been spinning off its axis for the past two hours or so, comes to a jarring halt. The only thing I can see is one bolded, black word that bores into my eyes.

**POSITIVE**

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	9. Tumbling Blindly

The doctor gave me pre-natal pills that he said would subdue my consistent vomiting, and we hastily set up another check-up appointment.

The ride home was definitely awkward. I wasn't sure what to feel. Scared? Angry? Sad? Possibly even happy? I didn't know, so I remained silent and kept my face expressionless.

Both of us walked as casually into the apartment as we could, seeing Jude and JoJo sprawled out comfortably on the sofa.

"There you two are! We were starting to get worried…"JoJo said, crossing his arms in annoyance.

I gave him an indifferent shrug, taking off my coat and hanging it up.

"Where have you been?" Jude asked. I immediately looked over at Sadie, trying to telepathically tell her I had no desire to discuss this here and now.

"Doctor…" Sadie muttered, hanging up her coat as well. "Where's Prudy and Luce?" she asked suddenly, changing the subject. God Bless Her.

"Out with Rita and Luce is working" JoJo replied. Jude frowned and looked down at his feet, frustrated that she always was working or doing something for SDR.

"Are you alright, El?" he inquired. I had been consumed by my thoughts during their little conversation, leaning heavily against the doorframe.

"Yeah, fine. Never better," I responded vaguely as I stalked off to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. Eventually, I would need someone to talk to but right now I just wanted to be alone.

I rummaged through my drawers, looking for the stash of cigarettes I kept. I didn't smoke regularly, it wasn't good enough to endure the horrible-smelling breath and the overall disinigration of your facial features. But sometimes, when I really needed something to take the edge off, I would smoke a couple. Now was definitely one of those times.

I took a long drag after lighting one, releasing the smoke slowly through my nostrils. I realized it probably wasn't the best vice to use while there was something growing inside my stomach, but I figured one wouldn't kill it or me. I laid on my bed, staring up at the ceiling in dismay.

Well, I know I couldn't decide what emotion to feel earlier, but there was definitely one I was feeling at the moment. Scared. Scared out of my fucking mind. I wasn't ready. I didn't make all the plans, paint my bedroom to a rosy pink or a baby blue, start buying baby clothes, or read those parental magazines that tell you how to be the "perfect parent". Hell, the father doesn't even _know _he's about to become one.

Which makes it that much more difficult. Letting someone know that they are about to be a father while they are fighting in a war-torn country is harder than it sounds. First of all, I wasn't going to write a letter. It's too casual and a bit tacky, if you ask me.

But I didn't want to get a hold of him anyway.

If Max didn't come home in a body bag, I wasn't sure what he would do. I know he cares about me, but I'm not sure he's in love with me. Or ready to be a father. He likes his life the way it is, going to bars, staying up until two in the morning, hanging with friends. He's exactly the father type.

I really needed the best friend Max right now. I needed the best friend who would find some way to make me laugh about the whole thing. I needed the guy who would joke how I was about to become the size of Jupiter. I needed the person who would teasingly drink my favorite beer or smoke a cigarette while I was in the vicinity, just to piss me off. I _needed_ that.

But I couldn't have it. Even if he was here, I couldn't have it. Because he couldn't be the best friend Max, because he so happens to be the damn father.

I stayed in my room for a couple more hours, going through three more cigarettes until the nicotine wasn't satisfying anymore. What I needed was somebody to talk to. So, I pried myself away from the bed and shuffled into the kitchen. Everyone except for Jude had gone to bed. He sat at the table, hunched over his sketchpad, drawing absently.

"So are you going to stop yaking, now that you've gone to the doctor?" he asked, not looking up from his work but a playful grin spreading on his face.

Normally, I would have replied something witty or sarcastic to that remark, but I wasn't feeling especially humorous at the moment. Walking over to sink to pour myself I glass of water, I realized there was no way to discuss my problem without telling him what the problem was, so I gripped the counter support and braced myself for his reaction.

"Not exactly…"

A puzzled look crossed his face.

"Judey…" I started quietly, not looking him in the eye. "I'm pregnant."

The soft scratching of his charcoal stopped and he slowly looked up at me, his brown, soulful eyes crackling in disbelief.

"Pregnant?" he said simply, more of a question to the unseen than to me.

"Yep…" I responded bitterly, circling my finger around the edge of the glass.

He shook his head, uncertain how to react to this. "Ellie…I'm…sorry?"

I rolled my eyes. "Please don't. The last thing I need right now is to be smothered with sympathy."

I collapsed into the chair next to him, sighing heavily.

"Who's the father?" he asked. I merely sent him a look that should've answered that ridiculously obvious question.

"Shit…" he mumbled, thoughtfully covering his mouth with his hand, stroking it lightly.

Neither of us said anything, but I could practically see a question burning in Jude's eyes. He wanted to ask me what I was going to do. I'm glad he didn't ask, because I honestly I have no idea.

The front door swinging open violently and Lucy stumbling in, hair tied up neatly into a bun and still clad in her sea-green waitress uniform, broke the unnerving silence.

"Hey…" she greeted us breathlessly, cheeks flushed pink from the cold, autumn air. She walked over to Jude, sharing a quick kiss, and then kissed my own cheek as well. I gave her as much as a smile as I could muster.

She set down her purse and looked at me quizzically. "Why are you so quiet today, hmm?" she asked, a small smirk forming on her lips.

Neither of us replied. The smile on her face slowly faded, worry filling her cerulean eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked anxiously, her eyes darting between the two of us.

"I'm pregnant," I said, as casually as possible. Lucy had been busing herself by working non-stop at the restaurant or SDR to keep her mind from fretting over Max, and breaking the news to her that I was carrying his child was not something she'd take as good news.

She clasped a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god…" she exhaled, falling back against the kitchen wall. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. Went to the doctor and everything."

She rubbed her forehead in frustration and sighed. I could practically see the wheels turning frantically in her mind. That's Lucy for you. The second you're faced with a problem, she sits down and immediately tries to find a solution.

"Well…what are you going to do? I mean, you've got to tell him," she said finally.

I snorted cynically, probably not the most appropriate thing to do at that moment, but her suggestion was thoroughly absurd. "Tell him? You think that's going to make the situation _better_?"

"El, you have to! He's the father, for God's sake!"

"What am I going to do? Send him a postcard? 'Dear Max, how are you? Just that I'd let you know that I'm pregnant. P.S. It's yours?" I retorted incredulously.

She groaned loudly, not able to come up with a better suggestion. She buried her face into her palms, shaking her head a little after a bit.

"Ellie…I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault-"

"Actually, it is…partly, anyway."

"Well, okay, but it's not like you deserve to be in this position. I'm just…I don't know what to do…"

"Join the club."

"Luce, love, let's leave Ellie alone for the night. We don't have to figure this out in one night," Jude interrupted softly, who hadn't said anything for a while, just looking at his sketch pad thoughtfully.

I shot him a grateful look, and both of them kissed me on the head before disappearing into their bedroom. I should have considered that gesture sweet, but felt more condescending than anything.

I lay awake that night, not able to shut my eyes for some time. The muffled moaning and sharp bumps that traveled easily through the thin walls didn't help the situation. I appreciated my two good friends for our short heart-to-heart, but wished they would not have oodles of sex right afterwards.

I shivered a little as a slight draft passed through the cracked door, pulling the sheets closer around my body, but finding little warmth. I yearned to have that familiar, slender frame to snuggle into, laying my head against his chest and falling asleep to the steady beat of his heart.

I wasn't incredibly depressed anymore, but dear God, did I miss him.

My eyes grew heavy and things start to dim, and eventually, I managed to fall into a peaceful, exhausted slumber.

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Days turned into weeks into and weeks turned months, and sure enough, I swelled up, or rather out, like a balloon. It was all a little nauseating, having everyone coo and fuss over me like I was a sick puppy, but their comfort and their compassion were welcoming all the same.

Of course, their cooing and fussing slowly decreased as our little family was turned upside-down. Lucy was becoming ever-more involved with the anti-war effort, which ironically was becoming increasingly violent, as the war continued to rage on. When she wasn't out, she was pouring over news paper articles, watching war telecasts for hours, or nagging at all of us to become radicals ourselves.

This was all much to the dismay of Jude, who shut himself up in his room nowadays, not saying more than a "hello" or "goodnight" to anyone. Whenever he did decide to be somewhat social, rarely would a smile pass over his face or his eyes twinkle happily like they used to. He just plain _missed_ her, as did the rest of us. It would be a rare occasion when she would come to one of Sadie's gigs or go out to dinner with us.

Me? I'm nowhere, really. Mindlessly counting down the days when I have to push this thing out of my stomach. My days usually consist of getting up, eating, sleeping, and scanning the death toll rates. Sounds morbid, I know, but it's really become a natural reflex. I can't help but glance down the list of fallen soldiers or listen suspiciously for the low, soft voices of the armed forces saying "We regret to inform you…" When you see images of dead soldiers, fire and ash, and screaming Vietnamese civilians plastered across every television in the city, it becomes difficult to ignore it.

On one particularly chilly morning, I sat at the kitchen table eating a mound of burnt pancakes I had carelessly cooked last night. You don't believe that you'll eat anything and everything when your pregnant…until you are pregnant. It's true, unfortunately. The apartment remained quiet, as it had been for the last week or so.

Suddenly, a door was kicked open and Lucy, hastily clutching a blue blanket around her unclothed form, rushed into the living room, pulling on some clothes that had been thrown into a messy pile. Jude appeared after her, leaning on the doorframe and a clearly irritated expression on his face.

"You know Sadie has a gig tonight, right? Are you going to be there?" he asked.

Lucy ran her fingers through her hair and checked in the mirror, grabbing her purse as she did so.

"I don't know, I'll try!" she said before swiftly running out the door.

"Well, can you try harder?" he said with aggravation, but she was already out the door. He sighed, taking a long drag from a joint and releasing it slowly. I gave him a sad smile. I knew what it felt like to missing a loved one.

"What are you doing today?" he inquired dimly, looking down at the floor.

I took a large bite, syrup dripping from the blackened ends. "Mmm…I dunno. Sitting on my ass and eating food, I guess."

A hint of a grin played at his lips. "Do you want to go to Sadie's gig?" he asked finally.

I looked down at my humongous abdomen and scoffed a little. "I'm guessing concertgoers aren't going to enjoy making room for the whale."

"Please?" he pleaded in a strained voice. I almost said no again, but when I glanced at him, I realized how desperate he was for somebody, _anybody_ to socialize with. All of Sadie's tenants, including Sadie herself, had been harried and out-of-sorts for ages, so Lucy had become a shoulder to lean on. Unfortunately, now she was never here for him, so with no best friend or girlfriend around, I was apparently his last resort.

I sighed. "Fine. But not for too long." Jude's eyes, which had been downcast and sulky, lit up for a split second. He walked over to me and embraced me gently, wrapping his arms around me best he could.

"Thanks, El. You're the best."

I kissed his cheek and beamed at him lovingly. I probably enjoy going out more than I thought. I've been cooped up in the damn apartment for weeks, and frankly, I don't give a shit if people consider me to be a fat whore. And Jude was the closest male specimen to Max that I was ever going to get for the time being.

Sadie's gig should be fun, just like always, right?

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**Hint hint**

**Sorry this chapter took me ages to write. School, damn it all. Grr…maybe I should just drop out like Max. XD**

**Reviews are like love. That's all I need. **

**I know I haven't incorporated a Beatles song into the last couple chapters, and I'm sorry!! It's just hard to find one that fits perfectly, you know? I'm trying though, I really am.**


	10. Oh! Darling, Strawberry Fields Forever

**Agh…emotional chapters…**

**They make me so depressed!**

**Ah, well. What must be done must be done.**

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"OH! Darlin'"

The packed house squealed as Sadie belted the first notes of her song. I shifted uncomfortably and scowled. I was thrilled that she and the Po Boys and become such a hit, but I was missing the comforts of the cool, airy apartment as Jude, me, and a few other tenants were squished in tightly, making it almost impossible to breathe.

Jude wasn't enjoying himself much either. He was happy that I was obliged going, but I know he was secretly hoping that Lucy would show up. He was glancing about the house, constantly checking the back door, and shaking his head with aggravation and disappointment when he didn't see her.

I was paying more attention, however, to what was happening onstage. Sadie, who was normally so focused and driven when she performed, seemed a bit out of sorts, and JoJo looked more pissed off than I had ever seen him, mouthing something to Sadie as he glared at her.

Suddenly, in a fitful rage, she stalked over to him, and both of them grasped the microphone, frantically trying to pry it from the others clutch. I exchanged worried glances with Clara, one of the other tenants there with us. What was going on?

I thought when Sadie finally got the mic out of JoJo's strong grip, the two of them had calmed down a bit. That is, until both of them went into the most crazed, wild, and impromptu contest to out-do each other. His fingers glided roughly and expertly over the frets of his Fender, the loud, howling notes piercing the air, as she tried to wail over him, her throaty, raspy voice desperately trying to push itself over the guitar.

"The hell's going on?" Jude mumbled, barely audible to anyone outside a six inch radius.

"I don't know…but whatever it is, it ain't too pretty," I replied anxiously.

Sadie unfortunately realized there was no way she sing over JoJo. Angrily, she yanked the cord that connected his guitar to the amp, sending a sharp, electric sound through the bar. She gave him a resentful shrug, shook her head, obviously blinking back tears, and flounced off the stage.

The crowd exploded in confused jeers, calling her name over and over. I put a hand on Jude's shoulder and told him I was going to look for her.

I pushed my way through the crowd best I could, receiving disgruntled mutters and annoyed glances from many. JoJo, being the showman he is, graciously started the song up again, much to the delight of the house.

I finally made my way to the side wall, seeing the small sign that had been painted on ages ago that read in loopy, faded letters "Dressing Rooms." I stuck out a hand to open the door, but it was stopped by a burly, heavy-set man whose beard traveled well down his chest.

"Can't go in there, miss," he said gruffly.

"I'm a friend of Sadie's! I just want to talk to her for a moment," I shouted over the deafeningly riffing guitar and vocals.

"Sorry. Rules are rules."

"Please, I –"

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Look, you ain't gettin' your fat ass in there, and that's that!"

I had the strong, nagging urge to smack him smartly across his pudgy cheek, but I swallowed it and merely sent him my best death glare. I again pushed my way back through the crowd and out of the bar, urgently needing some air that wasn't thick with alcohol, smoke, and weed.

I collapsed against the wall and gulped the fresh air with pleasure. My few minutes of bliss were abruptly interrupted by the sharp kicks that erupted from my stomach. I clutched it painfully, digging my palm as deep in as I could in an attempt to stop the pain. "Damn baby…" I grumbled.

The side entrance to the bar swung open, and Sadie, discombobulated and a mess, tumbled out, two duffel bags slung across her shoulder, a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, and a straw hat pushed haphazardly over her thick, unruly curls. She was muttering hysterically to herself, and I caught her arm as she strode by me.

"Sadie…"

Looking straight at the dirty concrete, she weakly attempted to pull out of my reach. "Out…out…I've just got to get out…"

Firmly, I kept my hold and pulled her towards me. "Sadie, please, what's happened?"

She finally looked at me, her hazel eyes that were normally fiery and confident dull and distraught. She sighed, shook her head, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I can't…stay here. I've got to go. I'll be back…sometime."

Just then, a black limousine rolled up to the curb, honking softly. Sadie walked over to it, opened the door throwing her things into the car.

"Take care of…things, will you? Give everyone my love."

"Wait! Sadie-" The car door slammed behind her, and sped off down the street.

Jude and the other tenants came out of the bar a second later. "Where is she?" he asked.

"She's…gone," I replied eventually, shaking my head in frustration. "I tried to stop her, but –" I groaned as I received another harsh kick inside my abdomen.

Jude put an arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. "Let's go home, El. I'm sure she'll come back to her senses."

"Isn't Lucy coming?" inquired one of our roommates.

A disappointed, hurt looked crossed his face, and his focus dropped to the ground. "No…she would've been here hours ago."

I huddled closer to him, resting my head against his shoulder as a sign of sympathy. The four of us walked home and into the eerily dark, silent apartment.

We then resumed are normal, isolated places. The other two went off to bed, I laid sprawled on the couch, longingly smelling the freshly lit joints from the kitchen, where Jude again was darkly scribbling out still life, a bowl of fruit in front of him.

Around eleven the door opened and Lucy came in, along with a man I remembered seeing at the protest we all had went to a while back ago, Paco, I think his name was.

Jude had smiled at her when she came in, but it instantly faded when he saw the other man come in, struggling to carry a bulky television set in his arms. I got up from the couch to go greet both of them.

"Hey, how's it goin'?" he acknowledged Jude, "hope we're not interrupting the creative flow…"

Lucy went to Jude, kissing the top of his head, and taking a glance at his work. "Still life?" she asked, obviously trying to hide her disappointment.

"Uh…yeah, it's just…I'm sorry, what's that doing here?" he asked, pointing at the television in annoyance.

"Oh, you didn't have one, I had a spare. It's going to make a difference, bringing the war right into people's living rooms…" said Paco, setting down on the nightstand on the far wall and starting to connect it.

I suppressed the urge to snort. The war was the _only_ thing broadcasted nowadays. And I'm not sure about the rest of the country, but I had no desire to watch something that I already see every time I step out of my home. This was the one place I could attempt to forget about it, my safe-haven, if you will. Looks like that dream's been smashed.

"That's all well and good, mate, but this isn't a living room…this is where I work…" interjected Jude, to which he took his bowl of fruit and his sketch book and disappeared into his room in a huff.

After setting up the television and saying goodbye to Paco, Lucy looked the door to Jude's room with resent. "What's his problem?" she murmured.

"Luce, you kind of just took his work space," I replied matter-o-factly as I leaned against the doorframe.

"Yeah, but doesn't he care? You think he would be considering his best friend is over there," she mumbled angrily, sitting down in one of the chairs after turning on the TV.

"Of course he cares. But maybe he's a little tired of hearing about it, and wants to be able to work in peace."

"Tired of hearing about it, my ass…and what's with you defending him? I thought you, out of all people, would understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I growled furiously, feeling color rising in my cheeks.

"You've had two loved ones sent over there. One of them is dead, and who knows about the other one. I thought that you would be the one supporting me here, but all you've done is sit on your ass and do nothing like everyone else. So, excuse me for trying to bring awareness into our home, _Eleanor_, because we obviously need it."

The combination of hearing my full name and she having the audacity to say no one cared pissed me off to no end. "I am more _aware_ of the war than you think I am, Lucy. Excuse _me_ for being pregnant and not being able to protest the war 24/7 like you and excuse _Jude _for wanting some place to work without having war images plastered all over it. You continuously seem to forget that you are not the only one who gives a shit about Max."

Before she could say anything else, I stalked off into my room, slamming the door behind me and collapsing on my bed.

I regretted spouting off to Lucy. She was just scared. I was getting the feeling that the true reason she was a radical was because it set some sort of false hope in her head that if she did, Max would come home alive. Sure, she and Paco twisted her words so that it seemed she had been for the cause all along. Of course she didn't want the war before, but I had never seen her show such furtive hate for it until Max was shipped off.

I was so sick of this. When was it ever going to end? It was bad enough having Max over there, but now my support system had completely given way. Sadie was gone, JoJo wouldn't be here as much now that she was gone, Jude shut himself up all time, Lucy was out "fighting for the cause," even Prudence wasn't here. My home that had once seemed so bright and vibrant now seemed dank and dismal.

I shut my eyes, refusing to let my emotions get the best of me, blocking out the vivid pictures of machine guns and helicopters and burning civilians and wounded soldiers, forgetting my enlarging burden and my friends' rocky relationships and how our little family was slowly dying, and dreamed of the field that all of us had lain in so long ago, our bodies close, fingers interlocking, heads pressed together, exhausted yet peaceful at the same. It had all seemed fleeting and surreal, but it didn't matter. We were relaxed and we were happy, but most of all, we were together.

_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields._

_Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about._

_Strawberry Fields Forever._

_Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see._

_It's getting hard to be someone, but all works out._

_It doesn't matter much to me._

_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields._

_Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about._

_Strawberry Fields Forever._

_Always, no, sometimes it gets me._

_But you know, I know when it's a dream._

_I think I, no, I mean, yes, but it's all wrong._

_That is, I think, I disagree._

_Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields._

_Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about._

_Strawberry Fields Forever._

_Strawberry Fields Forever._

_Strawberry Fields Forever._

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**There.**

**It wasn't a very original choice of a Beatles song, but damn it, it's still a Beatles song.**

**I want reviews! I want reviews so baaaaaaaaad… XD**

**Thank you all for reviewing my last chapter. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside .**

**Oh yeah. I realized when I was writing this that in the previous chapter I wrote something that could've hinted to them already having a television set. …Pretend like I didn't say that particular line or that they were watching war telecasts in the city and such, not necessarily at home.**


	11. Helter Skelter

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I shuffle out of my bedroom that night into the kitchen, not able to fall asleep _again._ The apartment is empty, so there's an eerie silence. Making my way to the refrigerator, I invite the chilled air to rush over me (for some reason it's been ungodly warm in the tenant building for the past couple months). I scan through the mostly vacant shelves and land on the only beverage left in there, an old bottle of Jack Daniels. I take it because I really don't give a shit anymore. Pouring myself a glass, I begin to take a sip and sputter when I can't swallow the nasty, bitter liquor. I haven't had alcohol in months, and now I can't even take a drink. I throw the bottle into the trashcan in frustration. I glance at a note that has been left on the counter, in Jude's untidy scrawl, saying he's out all night and not to wait up for him and that my parents called.

Normally, I wouldn't have the least desire to go home, especially now, but right now my sheltered, dull home back in Massachusetts seems like paradise compared to here. Sadie was still gone, touring the United States solo, JoJo would poke in occasionally but never stay more than an hour, Jude and Lucy couldn't say five words to each other without screaming, and this war just keeps going on and on. Glad as I am that I've been watching from the sidelines and not swept up in this, I was dying to get out.

The thing that is forcing me to stay in the apartment nowadays kicks harshly and continuously, causing me to groan in exasperation. I start to go over to the living room where I can rest on the couch, until I feel a sharp, piercing pain that causes me to double over. It feels like someone stabbed me in the abdomen and is slowly twisting the knife into my intestines and I can't get myself out of my hunched position. The only thing keeping me from falling is my death grip on the kitchen table.

Suddenly, my thighs are doused in something wet and sticky. The pain vanishes, but as I pull myself up, the room starts to spin. I wipe a hand across my thigh as it becomes increasingly difficult to focus and my head is throbbing uncontrollably. It's hard to see, but as I bring a hand up I can see the streaks of blood across my palm.

I desperately try to make my way over to the phone to call 911, but then my legs refuse to carry me anymore, and I go crashing to floor. The last thing I remember is hearing the pounding beat of my heart gradually slow its pace and watching scarlet pools drift across the linoleum floor as my eyes close.

As I get off the tube, I follow the small crowd of radicals making their way to university. I had no doubt in my mind Lucy was there. Finding her would be a problem all on its own.

I needed to talk to her. We had done nothing but argue and shout at each other for the past week, probably the reason she packed up her things and left our apartment. I regret going into her office and causing such a riot, but I had been too pissed off at the time to be thinking reasonably. What would make her understand that the war was out of her control? It wasn't her fault it was happening, and it certainly wasn't her fault that Max was shipped off and made into a killing machine either. I hated Paco for twisting her mind into believing she could save her brother if she became "radical," just so he could have another pretty face working for him and his so-called organization.

All these protests made matters worse, and I don't know how she could be so blind to the fact. So, I decided this evening that we could talk like adults by now, having not seen each other for a day or two, and I didn't give a shit if Paco or any other bloke of his didn't want her tending to personal matters in the middle of a demonstration. They were going to have to deal with it. I missed my Lucy, the girl I've been talking with the past couple days was not _Lucy_.

Finally, I come to university entrance, where there was already about a thousand people flooding the steps, with Paco overhead, leading them in a chant. I search the crowd, looking through sea of people for her. Sirens wail behind me as four or five police cars pull up, strong, sturdy men jumping out of them and running up the steps.

Shite.

As they rush by me, I try to merge with them. Whenever the police came to riots, that usually meant things were about to get violent. However, as I attempt to push through the throng, I get shoved backwards forcefully and do not see her at all.

Just then, the police were making their way back through the people, keeping various protesters in their strong, vice-like grip as they tried to rally the others against them. As I stand on my toes, still trying to find her, I can distinctly make out the familiar, radiant blonde locks, lost somewhere in the crowd.

She needed to get out of here, and fast. I weave in and out of people, approaching the group of policemen. But her shrill scream of protest as demonstrators are being knocked to the marble steps and beaten stops me dead in my tracks. Wildly, she tries to break free of the policeman, causing him to only tighten his grip on her.

"Lucy!" I call hope, hoping to God she can hear me.

"Jude?" replies her voice in disbelief as she appears through the horde. Things were starting to get out of control, fights were spreading like wildfire.

"Lucy!" A gap opens as a fight ensues between some police and protesters. I jump at the opportunity, running towards her as she thrashes momentarily out of his hold.

A strong pair of arms holds me back, and it isn't long until I feel the sharp pain of thick clubs being pounded into my back. I grasp her hand only for a moment until we are ripped apart again by the officers, sending me spiraling towards the ground.

Her panicked shrieks can still be heard, but are slowly fading. I can't see anything as I feel warm blood trickling down my face and neck.

Nothing's gonna change my world…

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**Lucy's POV**

"This is great, huh?"

I nod in agreement as one of my new friends from SDR shouts over the din. There's at least a thousand people here, if not more. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone in this fight to stop the war.

This lets my thoughts turn to Jude. Why doesn't he understand? Paco told me that the more demonstrations we do, the more support we get and the more support we get, the more the government will have to start listening to its people. And frankly, I would do anything to bring Max home. I thought Jude and Ellie would, too…

Just then, I hear the sirens screeching in the distance, and worriedly look over at Paco, who's been leading everyone in a chant. Of course I want to be here, but I'd like to avoid getting arrested.

As the police cars pull up, he looks over at me and his eyes blaze as he says vigorously "Don't leave." I can only nod and grip the railing nervously as the officers rush up their stairs to where we are.

They take Paco first, who doesn't go without a fight. As an officer walks up to me, I go quietly, thinking the less violent I am the less violent they will be. I let him forcefully take me down the steps and into the thrashing horde of people below.

However, I can no longer keep my temper as an officer punches Paco harshly in his mid-section, causing him to double over in pain. Desperately, I try to pry myself out of the officer's strong hold, only to be pushed closer towards the police car by the riotous demonstrators.

Somehow, through all din, I hear the unmistakable accented voice of Jude, calling my name.

I can't believe it. Why would he be here? There's no way…

"Jude?" I shout back in response doubtfully. Sure enough, I hear him again, this time more urgently as his chocolate brown curls and handsome face comes into view.

I try to weave through the sea of people as he makes his way to where I am, only to be caught by another officer. We grasp hands only for a moment, being dragged away from each other an instant later. He attempts to fight off the officers, but is shoved to the marble steps below.

I am forced to watch in horror as they beat him mindlessly. Every sickening thud of the nightstick feels like a punch in the stomach. I call out his name, hoping to God they haven't battered him to the point of unconsciousness by now. But I no longer hear his voice nor see his face. The crowd rams me into one of the police cars, to which I manage to duck under and escape the scene. I don't stop running until I reach the other side of the street.

Tears flow freely from my eyes. This is my fault. I shouldn't have let my temper get the best of me, or he wouldn't have even been here. There's no way I can go back, I'll be arrested for sure. All I can do is pray that he will someone make it out of there alive.

"I'm so sorry, Jude," I mumble, my lip trembling. "I'm so sorry."

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**Max's POV**

"Smith! Johnson! Carrigan! You're going to the field down below us!" barks the lieutenant over the sharp, chopping noises of the helicopter.

I glare at him in disbelief. Right now, the field below us is being ambushed, most of the troops down there either wounded or killed, and going down there was pretty much a death sentence.

I had learned the hard way that it was not smart to be a wise ass to lieutenants or basically anyone of a higher rank. But right now, I really couldn't hold my tongue any more and I didn't give a shit if I was going to have to do 250 push-ups later because of it.

"Are you out of your mind?! They'll blow us to fuckin' kingdom come!" I scream in response.

"The last time I checked, _Sergeant,_ you are not a five-star general. Who the hell do you think you are?"

"But-"

"Carrigan, if you intend on not sending your entire platoon home in body bags, I suggest you keep that smart ass mouth of yours shut and follow orders!"

We cruise over the field that probably was once a thriving rice patty but is now charred and flattened, chopping off leaves of the palm trees with every swipe of the helicopter blade. The sky erupts into bright yellow and crimson when yet _another_ bomb is dropped and the lieutenant pushes me to the swampy ground below.

I hit the ground with a harsh thud, the wind being knocked out of me. I almost stayed there, having been trudging through swamps, crawling through marshes, and running through the jungle for three days straight. It felt like death would be the easier route in this situation.

A bullet whizzes by me, skimming over the top of my helmet. It's followed by another and another until it becomes a downpour of ammunition on us. Somehow, I pull myself up, clutch the machine that's been keeping me alive for as long as I've been here, and begin to fire in the direction of the enemy.

It seems pointless to even try. Whoever the "enemy" is (no one really knows anymore) can obviously see where we are, while we are firing into wall of smoke and ash with the slight chance of hitting something other than a tree or a bush.

This carries on for hours, and it's a battle we are obviously losing. Soldiers go tumbling to the ground as if it were some sick sort of domino effect. I'm pretty sure that the entire field is on fire by now, and the wails of falling bombs do not cover the anguished shouts of wounded soldiers, men, women, and children. I keep firing because the only thing keeping me from losing my mind is a false hope that if I keep shooting whatever is shooting back at us will just _stop_. No such luck.

Finally, the gun slackens in my hand and goes falling to the ground. I can't _do_ it anymore. I don't know how many people I've killed, some of them not any older than me. Guys who've been here longer tell me that you don't feel anything when you killed someone after you've killed someone.

But every time I fire a shot and I see a old man drop to his knees, a young mother spiral backwards with her child watching in horror, or even a ruthless Vietcong who tries to fight even with a gaping wound, it feels like someone's tightened another screw into my body as I become this senseless, slaughtering machine for our wonderfully fucked up country.

"CARRIGAN! GET DOWN!" screams one of my buddies, Ryan, who's been with me the whole time. But it's too late. Something hits my head fast and hard and easily penetrates the thin helmet that supposedly supposed to protect us and grinds into my skull.

I collapse to the ground immediately. I can't feel much besides a searing pain in my head. Things are starting to get dim when Ryan kneels over me, gripping my arm.

"Carrigan…_Max…_You've got stay with me, man, come on…"

Despite his words, the look in his eyes is enough to tell me I'm a dead man.

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**Whew!**

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**Thank you to all who have reviewed so far! I really do appreciate it.**


	12. Bring Me No More Blues, Happiness

The first things I see are bright, florescent lights that flicker and rush by rapidly. It's hard at first, but soon I can start to hear voices that come from my left and right. Suddenly, Prudence's concerned face comes into view.

"Oh, thank God. Can you hear me, El?" she asks urgently. I try to answer her, but speaking powers seem to have left me, so all I do is nod.

"She's awake," she says to someone on my left. That's when I realized that I blacked out on the kitchen floor and I'm being wheeled into the emergency room.

A middle-aged woman shows up on my left. "Miss Rigby? I'm Dr. McCartney. I'm afraid that the only way to save your baby and yourself is get it out as soon as possible so you don't lose any more blood, which is going to require us doing a C-Section, alright?"

She tells me as if I had a choice. All I can do is nod nervously and watch other patients go by. They lead me into a dark room with one, bright lamp overhead. After my gurney is stopped, they immediately start to suit up. Prudence stays by my side and grips my hand.

"You'll be fine, El. I promise," she says, but worry is apparent in her tone.

"We're going to give you an epidural that will keep you awake during the process, okay?" says Dr. McCartney through her surgical mask.

I'm about to ask her about how "awake" I was going to be during this process, but before I can, a needle is shoved into my arm. DAMN. That hurts like a _bitch_. I bite down on my lip to try and ease the burning pain. But then Prudence's reassuring voice grows distant and everything blurs. Suddenly, all sense of feeling in my body is taken away, and the bright light blazing above me is the only thing I can distinctly see.

The next few hours are a haze. I hear urgent voices, a bit of clanging, and something slippery being hastily thrown onto the bed sheets. I obviously can't feel nor see them cutting open my stomach, but I'm still grateful for the thin sheet they put at my neck line. Just the thought of them scooping out my insides was enough to make me gag.

It's all getting exhausting, and I think the epidural is wearing off because things are starting to become clearer.

It does finally wear off, just in time for them to pull the baby out of me, but I don't hear any crying. And I don't hear any squeals of delight from the nurses or loving chuckles. There's only silence. Dead, unwavering silence.

"This baby was dead before she was pulled out…" murmurs Dr. McCartney, but she's out of my ear-shot.

"Prudy, what's going on?" I ask weakly, squeezing her hand tightly.

Tears were shining in her big, innocent eyes. She doesn't reply, not even looking at me.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" she says softly to the surgical staff.

There's a slight pause, until I hear a gruff voice respond "We'll see what we can do."

Dr. McCartney barks orders at the rest of the staff and the next thing I know another needle is shoved into my arm and I'm wheeled off again before my world goes dark.

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My eyes opened slowly to the dismal, white-washed hospital room, tubes sticking out of my arms and completely exhausted. It was hard to remember what had happened the last 24 hours, it all seemed a blur to me.

I then noticed a warm, rough hand stroking the top of my head gently. Glancing to my right, I saw JoJo's chiseled, but loving face, smiling down at me feebly.

"Hey, baby girl," he said quietly. I ruefully looked down at the tubes, at the machines I was hooked up to, and my hospital bed.

"What the hell happened to me?" I asked, my voice raspy and cracking.

"Prudence found you when she came home from work, you were on the floor and there was blood everywhere. She took here and she's barely left your side until she had to go back to work for a few hours."

I nodded slightly; things were starting to come back to me now. But I couldn't remember seeing my newborn at all. I recollect being rushed here, going into the emergency room, and being cut open like a piece of meat, but I didn't remember hearing baby cries or the doctors cooing over the newborn child.

"So…where is…it?" I inquired, laughing feebly at my own joke. JoJo's face hardened, his eyes dropping to the floor. He didn't respond for a bit, taking my hand and squeezing it lightly.

Finally, he sighed and said: "El…I'm so sorry…she didn't make it, they did everything they could."

It was though someone had made the world stop turning.

I am not going to be a mother. _I am not going to be a mother._

"Oh," is the only thing I can say. What else am I supposed to say? Though my face may be expressionless and blank, I'm screaming inside. And the worst part is I don't know whether it's out of relief or heartbreak or shock.

I should be happy. I _should_ be happy. I didn't want this baby in the first place, and I'm sure Max didn't either. I doubt if we'd have made good parents, and our living areas are not exactly suited for a child. It all happened too quickly, too soon. I should be happy.

So why aren't I? Why do I feel as though the wind has been knocked out of me? Like something's tearing me apart?

I know the answer. Somewhere, in the deepest part of my mind, I _wanted_ to have a child.

Maybe I wanted to have a baby to love. Or maybe I wanted someone I could look after or tend to. Or maybe I just wanted a little piece of Max to love and cherish and that would keep me sane until he came back.

Whatever the reason was, it didn't matter now. My little girl was dead.

"Can I see her?" I ask quietly, not looking at JoJo as I did.

JoJo glances up at me in surprise. "Yeah…they're keeping her in the infant wing right now…are you sure you want to?"

I nod without even thinking about it.

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Cautiously, JoJo rolled me down the hallway. As tightly as he was gripping on the bars, I knew he still thought me seeing her was a bad idea. But I needed a sense of closure. I needed to just see her for a moment, and then I would be fine.

As I came into the infant wing, the looks some of the nurses were giving me tore me apart. I hated being stared at, as though I was some sort of pitiful exhibit. They all murmured "I'm so sorry" or patted my shoulder comfortingly or shot me looks full of sympathy. Not because they wanted to, but because they had to. And that pissed me off almost to the point of shouting at them to stop _looking_ at me like that.

Finally, I came to the little crib they had set up. They opened up the sides, so I could touch her if I wanted to without having to get out of my wheelchair. JoJo rolled me up, and stepped back politely.

She looked like me. Her skin was rich bronze, not as dark as mine. The top of her head was adorned in short, loose curls that were midnight black. My hand shook as I reached out slowly, taking her tiny hand in mine.

"She's a little me," I whispered, a slight smile coming to my lips. Gently, my hand brushed over her eyes, curious to see the color. This is where me and my little girl differed. While my eyes were a chocolate brown, hers were an unmistakable, striking bright blue.

My breath caught in my throat, surprised and overwhelmed. It was ironic to think that if she'd grown up, she would've been the spitting image of me, but when you looked in her eyes, you would know exactly who her father was.

"The doctors said they would let you bury her, if you want," JoJo said from the corner.

I looked behind my shoulder at him, and a smile came to my lips as my eyes started to burn.

"Lizzy," I said simply.

"Mmm?"

"Her name is Lizzy."

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I told the doctors to use whatever body parts of Lizzy's work for babies who are in need of a heart, eyes, whatever. They call me generous, but the real reason is I don't think I can handle going to another funeral.

I went home a few days later, unpleasantly surprised that neither Lucy nor Jude came to see me. Excuse me for feeling a sense of entitlement, but if my best friend blacked out on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood, I'd be right at their side.

JoJo walked me home, enveloping me in a warm embrace and kissing my forehead before he turned up his coat collar against the unseasonably bitter cold wind and sauntered down the street. Silently and steadily, I made my way up the apartment steps.

When I got in the door, I saw Lucy sitting at the table, a letter in one hand, her expression blank, though tears were rolling down her cheeks.

I'm not going to go through all the fake bullshit, so I cut to the chase.

"What's wrong, Lucy?"

She didn't reply, but her hand with the letter in it moved an inch upwards as some sort of gesture that the letter was the problem.

Sighing, I took the letter out her hand.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Carrigan,_

_We regret to inform you that your son Maxwell was injured while on duty in Vietnam. He _

_will be transported back to his current place of residence, New York, New York, USA, for _

_hospitalization as soon as he is stable enough to be transported. More details on your _

_son's condition will be sent at a later date._

As if things couldn't get any worse. The letter fell out of my hand, and I didn't say a word. Slowly, I made my way into my bedroom.

As soon as the door closed, my body started to tremble and suddenly, I could no longer hold back the emotions that have been locked up inside of me for a year. I choked heartbroken sobs as I slid to the floor, burying my face into my knees and hugging them tightly against me.

I didn't stop weeping for an hour at least. It's painful, physically and emotionally, but dear God, does it feel good. For almost year, I've had to pretend to be indifferent about being pregnant when truthfully I was scared out of my mind, I've had to watch from the sidelines as my friends' lives spiral out of control, I've had to be strong as the man I loved was taken away from me. I wish I could always keep these emotions hidden and out-of-sight, but then again, as excruciating as it is, I no longer feel like I'm going to explode.

The one bright side I had found with having the baby was that I'd have a little piece of Max with me. Lizzy and Max were the only two people I had faith in, everyone else was so lost or broken or depressed. Now, Lizzy's dead and I'm slowly losing Max as well.

I wasn't sure what to do anymore. Normally, I had a plan for everything, even when my life threw me a curveball like getting pregnant. Now, I had been beaten down so many times, I wasn't quite sure how to get back up again.

_Mailman, bring me no more blues._

_Mailman, bring me no more blues._

_One more heartache is all I can use._

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"I call dibs on this one."

"What're you talking about? I'm the one who got brought him in from the helicopter!"

"What do you say, Captain? Who gets him?"

"Listen, I don't give a shit who takes care of him, but decide soon. The morphine's going to be wearing off soon and he'll need attention."

"…well, I think I deserve to have a cute one for once. The last one I had was ugly as sin."

"It shouldn't _matter_ if they're ugly-"

"For Christ's sake, since you can't act like civilized adults, McCartney gets this one. The rest of you, find something to do. I'm sure if no one needs tending to, one of these poor bastards could use a pick-me-up, if you know what I mean. Now get moving!"

The nurses of the VA Ward at Mercy Hospital in New York City scurried off in different directions as Captain Estepien shooed them away. Once they were out of her sight, she turned back to Nurse Valerie McCartney, the one she had chosen to take care of this attractive, young soldier who had just arrived.

"He's pretty banged up, but it's that hole in his head that's the big issue. Whoever wrapped it up in 'Nam did a pretty shitty job of doing so, and if we don't watch it, that cut could become infected real fast."

"I want you to get that bandage off his head as soon as possible, then clean it and dress it again. His other wounds looked fine, but I'd give them a look over after you're done tending to his head. Got it?"

Valerie nodded and short, blonde curls bouncing rhythmically, the Captain left in a rush.

Turning back to the soldier, she pursed her lips together in disapproval as she looked at the grimy white gauze that was messily wrapped around the soldier's forehead. It seemed perfectly clear while his life had been saved over in Vietnam, they had obviously gotten sloppy with the dressings after a while. She sat down on the bed, knowing she needed to get to work as soon as possible after seeing his nasty-looking wound.

She tenderly wrapped a hand around his head, pulling it forward so that she could undo the gauze. Once she got it undone, she loosely rotated her arm, watching the blood-stained gauze fall in rings around his neck. It came off and carefully, she gathered the white fabric into her hands, pulling it away from his neck.

Now to get the bandage off. How she was going to do this without waking him would be a challenge. After attempting to delicately pull it off a few times and finding it firmly attached to his skin, she had no other choice than to press one hand to his forehead and pull the bandage off with the other.

It made a sickening ripping noise, causing her to flinch a little. To her surprise, the attractive soldier barely even moved. It did wake him, however.

"Ow…" he mumbled, his brows furrowing slightly.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Wasn't any other way I could do it."

Max groaned as he opened his eyes, regretting doing so when he was greeted by a blinding light that had been placed directly above his bed. To his relief, whoever had sweetly assured him came into view and blocked it.

It was still hard to see, but he could tell that it was no doubt a woman hovering above him; a very pretty one at that.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked gruffly, still disoriented with his surroundings.

The pretty girl smiled. "I'm Nurse McCartney…but you don't have to call me that. Actually, I'd prefer you didn't. It makes me sound old. Call me Valerie."

"Valerie…" Just comprehending her name was difficult for him.

She went about her work, carefully inspecting the wound on his forehead, brows creased and fingers drumming against the side of the bed. She mumbled something under her breath, thinking to herself. Then she got up momentarily, bending down to get cleaning supplies from her kit and giving Max a nice view of her nicely-shaped behind.

He had no idea if she purposely stuck her butt in front of his face, but he found this hysterically funny.

"Nice ass," he murmured, grinning stupidly and saying it loud enough for her to hear. She stood up, brown waves flying through the air, shooting him a nasty look over her shoulder. His smile grew, but gradually turned into a wince as his head started to throb from laughing.

Valerie took note of this and her features softened. She had had one too many experiences with horny soldiers, but she completely understood. She had no doubt in her mind that this soldier had a girlfriend, and she knew how hard it was to be away from your significant other for long periods of time.

Sitting down again, a few cotton balls and a vile with alcohol in her hand, she pressed a cool hand to his forehead. She looked at him seriously, her emerald eyes sparkling with sympathy.

"This is probably going to hurt, just for forewarning."

Max nodded and closed his eyes. Any pain that happened at this point couldn't be anything worse than he had already experienced. Dipping one of the cotton balls into the alcohol, she dabbed it onto his wound as delicately as she could. She could tell it still stung, as his eyes squeezed tightly shut and he hissed in pain.

"Almost done…"she promised as she finished the last of her cleaning and carefully placed a fresh bandage over the wound. She then took the gauze, lifted his head again, and wrapped it tightly around his head, taping it closed once she was finished.

Once she had gotten him settled, she said: "There's a chance your head injury could become infected, so I'm going to have to do that every few hours."

He looked more weary than anything else, his chest rising and falling slowly and his eyes still shut.

"It's alright…it's what you have to do…speaking of which, do you know where my platoon is…who they were given to?"

"Hon, you're in the States."

His eyes flew open at the mention of this.

"I am?...where-"

"New York."

A mix of confusion, surprise, and relief shimmered in his eyes. All he said was "Oh…" before his eyes closed again.

She put her materials away and gave his other wounds a final look-over, deeming them alright for now. By the time she was finished with this, he was sound asleep. She meant to ask the tactless, yet charming young soldier what his name was, but she didn't want to wake him. Noticing the dog tags that still hung around his neck she picked them up and read:

CARRIGAN, MAXWELL.

"Max…" she said, a small smile forming on her lips.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Two months later…_

"How'ya doin', Max?" inquired Valerie, looking down on him with a grin.

"I'm alright…" he mumbled in response, smiling at her. But his grin turned into a wince as he shifted towards her. "My head's killing me, though."

She checked her watch and her clipboard and tsked. "Well, no wonder, you haven't gotten your dosage yet."

She got up from her sitting position on the bed and walked over to one of the medicine stations by the desk, flaunting her curvaceous hips and behind as she did so. Max grinned sheepishly when she turned around to smirk at him, starting to feel uncomfortably warm.

_Easy, Carrigan_ his mind told him _You've already got a girl who loves you to pieces…speaking of which, where the HELL is she?_

Although the nurses were nice to stare at and occasionally chat with, he missed Ellie like crazy. And though he had been home for at least a month, there was no sign of her. Lucy came whenever she could, sometimes Prudence and JoJo would drop in. Not that it wasn't wonderful to see them, but he had definitely missed Jude and Ellie the most out of his friends.

As his sister had tearfully informed him that Jude had been deported, he really needed someone who wouldn't be a heartbroken mess in his presence.

"I'm sorry, Max, it's just hard…seeing you like this," Lucy had choked, trying to wipe the rapidly falling tears from her eyes and not succeeding.

He had taken her hand and shushed her, assuring her he was fine, just a little out of sorts. He even threw in a sarcastic comment or two, trying hard to be the same old Max that had been stripped of him in Vietnam. She had smiled, but the burning look of worry in her eyes never left. He hated seeing her so upset, and now that there was no Jude to support her, that made it even more difficult to comfort her.

Valerie came back, needle in one hand and sitting down on the bed.

"Max?" she questioned, tapping the glass vile. "You got a girlfriend?"

He nodded, trying not to shake as he kept his eyes fixed on the blissful drugs he was about to receive.

"That's a shame…" she said quietly, rolling up the sleeve of his hospital gown. "I've always had thing for blondes."

She smirked as she rubbed his forearm gently with her warm fingers, making him shiver. Finally, she pressed the needle to his vein and injected the heavenly morphine into his system.

Max hissed first in pain and then eventually relief. Valerie and the hospital started to dim, but he could still make out the loving grin she gave him before making a note on her clipboard and sauntering away.

Slowly, he fell into a morphine-induced slumber, knowing the period that his mind would remain empty would be much too short and visions of the destroyed, war-torn hell that had haunted his dreams for months were sure to appear any moment.

All he could do was enjoy the unconscious, peaceful darkness that drugs so graciously brought him, and then he'd have to wait for the next hit, hopefully arriving before the soldier next to him dies again.

_I need a fix, 'cause I'm going down,_

_Down to the bits that I left uptown_

_I need a fix, 'cause I'm going down…_

_Mother Superior jump the gun._

_Mother Superior jump the gun…_

_Happiness is a Warm Gun,_

_Bang, Bang, Shoot, Shoot_

_Happiness is a Warm Gun, yes it is…_

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**Please review! It's always appreciated.**


	13. And I Love Her

Ellie sighed as she watched the steam rise out of her mug of tea. Seeing the anguished paintings that still remained in Jude's studio, she needed to do something that reminded her of the good things about the Englishman. So she made a pot of tea. She liked coffee better, but just drinking the warm, sweet liquid reminded her of her equally warm, sweet British friend.

She missed him. Jude was no Max, but she'd rather it be that way. He had the same sarcastic wit, but he had to be the biggest sweetheart in the world. Before Max was shipped off and the world went to shit, he treated Lucy like a princess and generally cared for everyone's well-being. If for any reason her boyfriend couldn't cheer her up, Jude could always make Ellie smile.

She felt guilt churning in her stomach as she remembered feeling indignant that he hadn't come to see her in the hospital. If she would've known that he was locked up in jail, about to be deported, she would've jumped out of the hospital bed and gotten him herself.

And Lucy…she had every right to be at home. Poor, sweet Lucy could not be more tangled up in the war than she already was and things were only getting worse. At least Max was back in New York, but when Lucy came home from the hospital every afternoon, she looked like her heart had broken into a million pieces.

This scared the hell out of Ellie. She wanted to see Max more than anything, but judging by the way Lucy was reacting to the situation, she wasn't sure she could handle it. And the last thing he needed was another person sobbing all over him.

The door to the apartment opened and in walked Prudence, looking a little on the tired side but somewhat content.

"Hey," Ellie greeted her.

"Hey," she replied with a grin. She walked into the kitchen, noticing the kettle on the stove. "Why the tea?"

"I need Jude. This is the closest thing to him we have right now."

Her lips curved upward in a sad smile, nodding in agreement and sighing. "I just hope he gets back before Max comes home. I think he'll need him just much as we do, if not more."

"Speaking of which, another person he needs right now is you," she continued, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"Prudy, please-"

"I know, I know. Everyone's been telling you to go see him. But El, seriously, the first thing he asks me is when you're going to come. He _misses_ you."

"I know, I just…I just don't know if I'm ready."

Pushing long, dark hair out of her face, Prudence sighed. "I'm not sure if you'll ever be 'ready.' I think you should just go."

"You should also tell him about Lizzy," she continued, looking at Ellie seriously. "Keeping that a secret will end badly, I guarantee."

"I'll tell him…but probably not right away."

"_Ellie_-"

"I know; I'm the Queen of Procrastination. But he doesn't need to carry the weight of my shit along with his right now. I promise, I'll tell him, but I don't want to bombard him with all of my problems."

"Okay…I just hope things turn out well. I won't be around to see them," the pretty Asian said as she got up from the table.

"Oh?"

"I'm moving in with Rita. She's got this great flat down in Brooklyn that half as expensive as this place."

Ellie nodded slowly, suddenly feeling very alone. She couldn't keep Prudence from doing what she wanted to, but she realized that the only people left out of their group of friends were Lucy, Max, and herself.

What the fuck had happened to their family?

"El? You alright?"

She snapped out of it and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Listen, I've got to meet up with Rita at 3, so I'm gonna split. See you around?"

She wanted to say _No, I won't,_ but merely replied. "Yeah, see you around."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"So we'll be in D.C. next month. It's supposed to be a huge turnout…Max?"

"Mm? Oh, yeah, sounds great, Luce."

Lucy sighed, putting a hand on her brother's shoulder. "Are you alright? You haven't seemed yourself ever since I've been here."

He chuckled bitterly. "I don't think I'll ever be myself again," he mumbled, his words inaudible to her. She asked what he said, but he only shook his head and said it was nothing.

Max loved his sister more than anything in the world…

Well, except, perhaps, one other person, but he wasn't really sure of anything at this point.

Anyway, he loved his sister and he loved her devotion to him; she came to his bedside whenever she possibly could, trying to cheer him up. Unfortunately, she did everything _but_ cheer him up. It wasn't entirely her fault; life hadn't been the greatest back in the States while he was in 'Nam, but it seemed any news she had about her friends was bad.

Sadie's solo career was going downhill and she wasn't home, JoJo was never around, Jude was deported. And whenever he asked about Ellie, he only got vague answers. It was clear something had happened with her, too, and Lucy doing everything to avoid giving him any clues.

It also didn't help that she was still so wrapped up in SDR. The last thing Max wanted to talk about was the war, but it had literally become her life, so he didn't have much choice.

"It's not me you want to see, is it?"

Max glanced up at his sister, seeing her eyes fill with disappointment, but a smile playing at her lips.

"Of course I want to see you," he lied slickly. But she knew better.

"It's alright…I'll get her."

"Luce-"

"I can't get both of the people you want to see, obviously, but I'll get her here. I promise."

"Lucy…"

Her smile grew, as did the discontent in her eyes. "I'll be here sometime next week, okay? I love you."

She kissed his forehead, gave his arm a squeeze, and got up from the bed. He could see her indignantly wiping tears away from her face as she scurried out of the VA Ward. He groaned and shut his eyes, exhaling loudly.

_Nice work, Carrigan_. _Looks like you can't make anyone happy anymore._

Guilt churned his insides. She was only trying to help, to be there for him, and he had selfishly turned her away. It wasn't her fault she wasn't Jude or Ellie, and she had been trying so hard to fill in the gaps they left.

His guilt slowly turned to anger as he thought of the two people he wanted to see. Jude at least had some sort of excuse, but why hadn't Ellie come? He remembered conversations he had had with one of the soldiers who had slept next to him for a while. He always had a crinkled photo by his bedside, talking non-stop about how his girlfriend would be coming any day now, and when she did, he was going to propose to her.

At one point, Max had said something along the lines of "Shut _up_, I get it already. Hoo-freaking-ray for you.", but the asshole had continued anyway, still showing him that stupid picture. Well, one day, Max had woken up from a morphine-induced nap and rolled over, seeing the same soldier, looking comatosely at the ceiling.

"What's wrong with you?" he had asked.

His lips barely moved, his words coming out hoarsely. "She came today…my girlfriend…the girl I was going to marry…she…she said no." His head lolled to the side, his dark brown eyes boring into Max's blue ones.

"Said she was _sorry_ but she couldn't handle it…" he continued, his voice rising. "Said she couldn't _handle_ staying with a war-torn bastard like me…"

To his relief, a nurse noticed the commotion and immediately gave the soldier a dose of morphine to calm him down. The soldier's words swirled in Max's dazed and throbbing head.

Had Ellie abandoned him?

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lucy leaned her head against the window of the telephone booth, closing her eyes tiredly as she listened to the monotonous dial tone, waiting for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" Ellie answered. Perfect.

"Hey, it's me, I'm just leaving the hospital…you really need to come. Now."

"Lucy, I-"

"I know it's hard and I know you don't want to tell him about Lizzy, but El, he's a mess."

"And it's not me he wants to see," she ended, with a hint of resentment.

Ellie sighed on the other end, and Lucy could picture her pushing her bangs out of her face, something she always did whenever she was contemplating something.

"Alright, I'm coming. If you see him before you leave, tell him I'm on my way."

"Will do…oh, and Ellie?"

"What?"

"Tell him about Lizzy. He needs to know, and if you wait, it's only going to get harder."

"…I'll try."

Both girls hung up and Lucy shifted her weight from one foot to the other, deciding whether she should go back in and let her brother know Ellie was coming. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that seeing his girlfriend would be a pleasant surprise, something he certainly needed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ellie tapped her foot impatiently as she sat in the waiting room. Her conflicting emotions were driving her insane. As elated as she was that she would finally see Max again after more than a year, she was scared shitless for the same reason. The brief letter she had received had said his wounds were serious and he had barely scraped by. She wasn't sure what he would be like. Would he be the same playboy, carefree Max that had captured her attention and her heart as soon as she befriended him? She had a sickening feeling in her gut that he wouldn't be.

A tall, voluptuous nurse that wore a uniform that went farther down than it should briskly walked through the revolving doors into the waiting room, a clipboard in one of her perfectly-manicured hands.

"Eleanor Rigby?"

Ellie looked up at her expectantly.

"You're here to see Max Carrigan, correct?" She nodded.

The nurse smiled warmly at her as Ellie got up from her seat and walked over to the nurse.

"Hi, I'm Valerie, Max's nurse. It's nice to finally meet you."

She raised an eyebrow in confusion, to which Valerie gave a soft chuckle.

"Max talks about you all the time and he's been dying to see you…now, we've given him some medicine recently, so he might be a little out of it for a few minutes. But it'll wear off enough so I'm sure he'll be fine, alright?"

Ellie nodded again and hoped Valerie couldn't her heart pounding deafeningly in her ears. She led her into the ward, glancing at her clipboard one more time to see what bed Max was stationed at. Ellie couldn't help but look around in horror as she saw the wounded soldiers, many of them with legs in casts or loads of tubes shoved into them, all of them looking helplessly tormented.

Valerie caught her eye and gave her a smile that was full of sympathy and understanding. "It's horrible, isn't it? It doesn't get any easier, either, as long as I've been working here."

Ellie didn't reply, but silently agreed. Valerie pointed towards the area Max was in and slowly, Ellie made her way down the rows of injured soldiers, looking at each of them, trying to find the familiar face she had not seen in so long.

Finally, she came to him and her heart lurched painfully. Other than the cream-colored bandage that wrapped tightly across his head, which bore a prominent crimson stain, his once shaggy, overgrown blonde hair being cut short again, and his already slender frame being a little leaner than normal, he physically didn't look that much different. But even through his sleeping form she could tell he changed entirely, that he had become as lost and broken as the rest of their family. It was in that moment that she realized there was no way she could tell him about Lizzy today. She had promised Lucy she would, but Ellie felt that neither she nor Max were ready for it. She just needed one visit, just she and him, no outside issues.

"I'll let you two be," Valerie said, her heels clicking viciously against the tiled floor as she left. Ellie had almost completely forgotten she was even there.

She ran a warm hand down his cheek as the lump started to form in her throat. Sitting on the edge of the bed comfortably, she leaned forward to gently press her lips to his forehead. As she heard him mumble lightly as he began to wake up, she pulled away from him and tenderly stroked the sheared remnants of his hair.

Still not opening his eyes but reacting to Ellie's soft touch, he sighed heavily and mumbled "Luce, is that you? I thought you went home."

Quickly swallowing her burning tears, her lips curved into a small smile. "I'm sorry; I thought you'd want to see someone different for a change."

Max muttered to himself in confusion. He didn't quite know who it was, but the woman's voice was definitely familiar. His eyes fluttered open and blinked rapidly, not believing the definite dark waves, the tan skin, and glowing brown eyes that were appearing in front of him.

"Ellie…Christ, is that _you_?"

Though her form was hazy, there was no mistaking the bright smile that grew on her face. With exertion, he sat himself up so that his back rested against the bars of the bed. The minute he was sitting up, she put a hand to his cheek and gave him a much-awaited kiss.

After this was said and done, Max broke apart from her, his eyes narrowing angrily.

"Where the _hell_ have you been?" he inquired, partly furious and partly relieved.

"It's…it's a long story…I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

"You could've at least told Luce that you were coming eventually…whenever I asked about you, she always tried to steer the conversation away from you. What happened?"

She knew this was not the right thing to do, but her gaze dropped and she slowly shook her head. "Nothing. I'm fine. I don't know why Lucy acted like that."

"Bullshit. Come on, El. You cheat on me or something?"

It took her a moment to realize he meant this as a joke. She tentatively laughed. "No, I didn't. I'd like to think the same for you, but I just won't ask."

"Okay," he chuckled a little. There were things that she didn't have to know just yet.

"How've you been?" he continued after a few moments of awkward silence.

"I'm okay, I guess. As I'm sure you've heard, things have been a bit fucked up lately around here," she said, running a hand through her hair and shaking her head in frustration.

"Hey…" he murmured, reaching out a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I didn't want you to come here and be all depressed and shit, I see that 24 hours a day. And Luce isn't much help either. She tries, but with Jude and all…"

Ellie nodded, feeling guilty. She knew Max was going through hell right now, though he was trying desperately to hide it.

"El, just tell me what's wrong…" he persisted, sighing tiredly.

She took his hand and forced a small smile. "It's nothing. Nothing you should worry about. It's not a big deal; I'm just being overreacting, angsty Ellie, okay?"

"Yeah, hanging around my sister for the last couple months, I could see you feeling that way. I miss the limey like crazy, but seriously, you would think Jude was Jesus Christ the way she goes on about him."

This time, she laughed genuinely. "At least one thing hasn't changed about you."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Your lack of sympathy for other people's problems."

"Trust me, I've got enough problems of my own right now." A slight grin was still tugging at his lips, but Ellie's giggles subsided as she knew he wasn't kidding.

Still gripping her hand, Max pulled her into his bed and let her head rest on his shoulder. His cheek dropped to the side of her head, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and loosely running his fingers through her dark waves.

It was then when it hit him. It was the reason why he was sulky whenever Lucy or Prudence came, the reason why this was the most content he had felt in a long time.

Max loved Ellie.

Maybe the war had suddenly turned him into a delusional softie, but at this point in time, he knew that she was the only person he wanted to see right now and feeling her body against his made him a pretty happy bastard.

"El?" he started, looking down at her.

"Mmm?" she mumbled, her eyes remaining shut. He gave her a squeeze, kissed the top of her head, and uttered words he had never said seriously to any girl besides his sister.

"I love you."

_She gives me everything and tenderly,_

_the kiss my lover brings, she brings to me._

_And I love her_

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	14. It's Gonna Be Alright

**Sorry, I know it's been forever, but school has taken over my life.**

**This chapter is slightly filler-ish. Slightly. **

**Thank you, again, for your lovely reviews, I have so much fun reading them:D**

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He finally said it. He finally fucking _said it_. Those three little words that I had said to him so many times and never gotten in return. The night after Lucy and Jude became a thing, I had watched in wistful amusement as Lucy practically floated around the apartment, an airy smile on her face and a radiant glow about her that hadn't shown up until then. I had shaken my head in exasperation, but secretly longed to feel the same way she did. Now, I finally understood.

The next two weeks seemed to go by in a flash. I found a job, as I found I going farther into the red zone as far as rent goes, at Katz's. It wasn't amazing; the manager was some greasy, skeezy guy who needed to embrace the invention of showers and whenever I wasn't at home or occasionally sleeping, I was there, but it paid the rent.

I hadn't seen Max in almost a week, however, so I stumbled into the Vet Ward at 9:30 one evening, blisters on my feet, my hair messy and unkempt, and my head throbbing horribly. As soon as I reached Max's bed, I collapsed face-forward onto the end of it.

"Tired?" he asked, a trace of a smirk forming on his lips, despite the deep, violet circles under his eyes and the drip pumping fluid into his right arm.

"Mmph," was all I could reply.

"So begins Eleanor's downfall into the Rat Race."

"Like you would know anything about that," I grumbled in response. Smiling feebly, he teased a few strands of my hair between his fingers.

"Oh, but I do. As a proud member of the New York City Transportation Service, I believe that I would know everything about that and more."

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Cabbie Driver," I muttered as I sat up, but I couldn't hide my smile. I shifted towards the other side of the bed and folded my legs Indian-style, resting my back against chilly, metal rails.

"When do you get out of here?"

"Soon. Couple days, I think."

"Good…listen, I really can't stay long. I have to open tomorrow morning at 6:00, and I'd like to get at least an hour of sleep or so."

"Do you think you can come tomorrow?"

I sighed, feeling horrendously guilty. "I'll try, I think I'm working from opening until closing. We'll see how many people decide to show up to work."

A sad smirk formed on his lips. "What's the deal with you working so much? I mean, you barely worked last year, if at all, and now you've been busting your ass around for two weeks!"

"Well, considering I'm paying both yours and my rent, I'm a bit strapped for cash. The money I had last year came from Mommy and Daddy, and they don't exactly support –"

"Since when have you been paying my rent?" he interrupted, eyes narrowing in confusion.

"Since you came back. Sadie needed the money to keep the heat and temporary air conditioning going."

"Jesus, El…" he muttered, shaking his head and attempting to hide his embarrassment. "You don't have to do that…"

"I know I don't. It's a good thing I love you, isn't it."

"Honestly, I'm sure I'll be back to work in a few weeks, don't kill yourself trying to be nice to me."

I kissed his forehead lightly. "I'm not killing myself. I'll finish off this month's payment, and then you can get back to work and pay your own rent bill."

"I'll pay you back for everything, seriously …"

I opened my mouth to protest that there was no need, but closed it momentarily when I realized that this was not an issue of repayment. Finally, I said "You can if you want to, but it's no difference to me."

He nodded but still looked discontent, which only made me feel worse. I glanced absently at clock and groaned.

"I've got to get home…sorry I couldn't stay long." I slid off the bed and got my purse. After sharing a light kiss, I turned to go, but he caught my hand, rotating me back to face him.

He gave me a weary smile and squeezed my hand a little. "I love you, Ellie," he said softly. "You know that, right?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little as I replied "Now I do."

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"Stop telling me this a peaceful march. With the dogs and the violence…and you know those people are much more radical than you want me to believe!"

"They should be radical. You should be radical, we should _all_ be radical!" Lucy spat incredulously. She could barely believe the words coming out of her mother's mouth. She had thought that with two children and a family friend deeply affected by this war, her mother would care and support all the time and energy she had put into SDR. The fact that she was _still_ against it and _still_ trying to convince her that it wasn't her place tore her apart and made her lose any control she had left. "Daniel is dead and Max is all…fucked up, and this war keeps going on and on, and nobody's listening!" she gasped, her voice starting to crack as she gazed outside the telephone booth. She just couldn't understand how thousands of people who cared just as passionately about this as she did would pour their hearts into this and how the government and society in general would just walk on by.

"I'm listening!" Mrs. Carrigan pleaded.

"No, you're _not listening_."

"I just don't want my beautiful daughter to get hurt," she choked until she could no longer contain her tears. Mrs. Carrigan felt terrible that she prying her eldest daughter away from something that she cared so much about. In one way, she was proud of Lucy for having wisdom and passion beyond her years. But after coming dangerously close to losing one of her children, she couldn't let it happen again.

Lucy knew this what her mother was feeling, and the sharp ache of guilt churned in her stomach. "Mom…don't cry. Please don't cry…everything's really alright here."

She heard the crowd roar and watched the previously peaceful march unfold into a violent riot.

"I'll talk to you later, I've got to go," she said hurriedly before hanging up the phone.

Smack. Lucy froze as she heard the glass shattering from the bullet. She needed out and fast. Frantically, her hand flew for the handle to the door. It was locked shut. No matter how hard she pushed or pulled, it wouldn't budge. People were getting slammed up against the walls right and left, and she swore she heard more bullets being fired.

She leaned up against the wall, and shut her eyes, trying to block out the shouts, the pops from the guns, everything. She started humming a tune that had seemed ridiculous earlier, but right now it was the only thing that was remotely comforting.

"You know it's gonna be…alright…" she sang softly as the tears started to roll down her cheeks.

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**I know it's not wonderful and it's short and I'm sorry, it'll get better, I promise.**

**Review, please. (Nicely, if you don't mind.)**


	15. A Day in the Life

**Wow. Surprised I could update this quickly, aren't you?**

**XD.**

**You're all amazing, that's all that needs to be said.**

**Oh yeah, any of you planning on seeing "The Ruins"? Joe's in it. But apparently he…-SPOILER-SPOILER-SPOILER…oh, never mind, enough of my pointless rambling. On with the story.**

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The first thing he feels is the wet, sticky mud underneath him. Then his lungs are poisoned by the thick, smoky air of the jungle, and he knows where he is. As he stands up though, he realizes that he is not in the familiar, itchy army greens and no trusty helmet covers his head. His hair is short again, and his mind is too hazy to know what he is wearing, if anything, for as he brushes past, he can feel the flora tickling bare skin. Something behind him roars, and the palm trees around him burst into flames. Not knowing what else to do, he runs.

As he rushes by, running from an unknown fear, he trips and falls into a hole, and falls for what seems to be eternity, until he lands sprawled in another swampy field, which is surrounded by soldiers, some Vietnamese and others from his own squad, guns poking through the tall grass. He holds up his hands in surrender and yells "Don't shoot!", but they all stare blankly at him as though he has spoken gibberish. As they fire, he does not die, but each bullet feels like a small knife has been pushed into him, leaving a fiery, burning welt mark on his fair skin. The bullets continue to rain down on him, faster and faster, taking more of his flesh with each hit. He curls himself into a ball by now, begging for them to stop, _please_, just stop…

Max's eyes flew open a second later, and he sees the familiar walls of his apartment and feels the soft mattress underneath him. He runs a hand through his hair, which he realizes is shaggy and messy as normal, and inhales sharply to calm himself down. He's still shaking from head to toe and drenched in a cold sweat. Feeling a warm body on his chest, he looks down and sees Ellie sleeping soundly against him, though her eyelids are flickering at little at his disturbance.

He sighs and collapses back into the mattress. He wraps his arms around Ellie and grips her closer to him, still trying to calm his racing heart. She mumbles something incoherent as she finally awakens, and her eyes flutter open slowly.

"You okay?" she murmurs drowsily but sincerely.

He doesn't respond immediately, but eventually shakes his head "no." She shifts out his arms and props herself on her elbow as she runs a cool hand over his forehead, brushing the sweaty bangs out of his face.

"Do you need to go to the doctor? Maybe get something that will help? This has been happening all week."

"It won't help…" he says wearily, looking more distraught than she's ever seen him. "Nothing will…"

Ellie knows he's right, and it kills her that she can't do anything for him. Sighing, she lightly kisses his forehead and lets her cheek rest on the top of his head. Gently, she strokes his hair, closing her eyes in fatigue, but neither of them get any sleep for the rest of the night.

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Sunlight peeked through the windows, and Ellie squinted painfully. As she tiredly stretched, she noticed Max has managed to fall asleep. Glad that at least one of them would be able to receive some rest, she quietly slid out of the bed, shut the blinds, and shuffled out of the bedroom.

It couldn't have been more than 9:00 in the morning, but surprisingly, Sadie was up and about. Ever since she came back from her solo tour, she hadn't had any huge, late-night concerts, so she went to bed at a decent hour. Wrapped comfortably in her favorite rose-colored, silk bathrobe, she gave Ellie a sympathetic smile when she padded into the living room.

"You look like hell, honey," she said softly. Ellie shrugged vaguely, and made her way into the bathroom. She does look like hell, she realized, as she looked at the burnt-out reflection of herself. Her long-working hours and little sleep have turned her normally rich, bronze skin a pale tan, her hair was a tangled mess of loose waves; her normally bright, vibrant eyes were dull and bloodshot.

She glanced at the clock above the mirror. 9:17. She's got to be at work at 10:00, and the subway ride will take at least 20 minutes. Quickly and haphazardly, she ran a brush through her hair and pulled it into a messy bun. She splashed icy water on her face in a slightly successful attempt to wake herself up, and got ready for the day. After putting on her already-wrinkled uniform, she threw on a bit of eye-shadow, but washed it off not long after when she realized she looked like a zombie with the dark makeup on top and dark circles under her eyes.

Sadie caught her arm when she tried to leave, and pressed a steaming mug of coffee into her chilled hands. "Sit down and have some breakfast before you go," she said kindly, though her grip on her arm is firm. Slowly, Ellie dropped into a chair and Sadie sat next to her.

After watching her take a sip, Sadie took her hand and looked at her with sincere concern. "I'm worried about you, El. I think you're working yourself too hard, and you're going to burn yourself out before too long."

Ellie didn't reply, only stared thoughtfully into her mug. Sadie squeezed her hand.

"Is everything alright? Is all this work trying to get your mind off of something?"

Again, she didn't reply. Sadie glanced around the apartment briefly, and lowered her voice to almost the point of whispering.

"Is this about Lizzy?"

Now, Ellie looked up. She gave her look and shrugged a little as if to say yes and no. Sadie leaned in, in order to keep their conversation private.

"Does he know?"

"No. I should've told him a long time ago, and it won't take long before he suspects something is up."

Sadie sighed and ran a hand through her untamable curls. "I'm afraid you're right about that, sweet pea."

"But I can't tell him. I just can't, it's –"

Ellie fell into a hush as she saw the door to her bedroom open, and Max walk out of it, rubbing his eyes tiredly. She resumed her focus into her coffee mug, but Sadie smiled warmly at him and got up to give him a kiss on the cheek. After mumbling a good morning to Sadie, he noticed Ellie and scanned her crumpled uniform.

"Work?" he said with a hint of a smile.

She nodded and couldn't help rolling her eyes a little. "What are you doing up so early? You were asleep for a while."

"Yeah…well…" he trailed off, his lips curving upward ruefully. Ellie shot him a look full of sympathy and discontent. He had been home from the hospital for almost a month, and she was really starting to worry about him.

Glancing at the clock again, she groaned when she realized she had to go. Downing the rest of her coffee in one gulp, she stood up, gathered up her things, and kissed both Sadie and Max on the cheek before running out the door.

Max turned to Sadie briefly. "Is she alright?"

She heaved a sigh, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, kissing his temple. "I don't know, hon."

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Lucy clutched her soft, wool sweater around her frame tightly as she walked in the chilly, autumn air, her messenger bag slung comfortably across one shoulder. She hadn't been to work in almost three weeks with the D.C. protest slowing down progress. She decided today she wouldn't be at work for long, as she knew she wouldn't be able to keep her mind off of other matters.

A sudden gust of wind threw thousands of vibrantly colorful leaves into the air, and they danced rapidly around her legs. She smiled contentedly as they crunched loudly underneath her feet, remembering that fall was one of the rare times the city wasn't a dreary grey. As she took in the beautiful reds and oranges and yellows, she couldn't help but think of Jude. She could practically picture him sitting on a park bench, eyes lighting up in excitement as he sketched furiously, as though everything would disappear if he didn't draw it fast enough.

She missed him so much. She was so glad that Max had found someone who kept him relatively happy even with all the shit he was going through, but she was secretly horrendously envious at the same time. Though her relationship with Jude seemed fleeting and had had many road bumps, she missed his strong arms around her waist, his soft lips brushing against her neck as his voice, rich with a full Liverpudllian accent, whispered soothing words into her ear.

She came to the small brownstone where SDR was located, and took her time walking up the concrete steps. She was a bit surprised when she found the door ajar, and pushed it open with caution. As she stepped in, she glanced around in shock. All of the desks and furniture were gone, the only things that remained were old, ripped posters that were gripping pathetically to the almost bare walls or lying in a jumbled mess on the hardwood floor.

A slight buzzing coming from upstairs interrupted her horrified touring of the shambled offices. She followed the noise up the stairs, and guardedly opened the door. Paco, holing a drill in his hand, and two other men were bent over various wires and timers with dynamite not too far off to the side, in the beginning works of a bomb. Lucy felt her blood pulsing angrily in her ears.

Paco looked up at her, and glanced nervously behind her. "Close the door," he said firmly.

Lucy refused to oblige. "I thought it was the other side that dropped bombs," she said flatly, though her eyes were as cold as ice.

They locked eyes for a moment, and she had the slightest hope he would change his mind, but he started up the drill again and went back to his work.

She turned on her heel and walked out. With every step down the down the rickety stairs, her mind screamed three words. _Jude was right_. She got out of the brownstone and slammed the door behind her in disgust.

She had barely made it down the front steps when she heard an unbelievably loud boom behind her and the building erupted in fiery debris, sending her toppling backwards onto the ground below.

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"Harrison? Get that next table. Rigby? You've got twenty."

Ellie shot her manager a grateful look and wiped her brow as she sat down at the counter. They had been slammed all day, and this was her first break today.

Tiredly, she glanced at the television that sat behind the bar, where the news was on. Some big story had apparently happened, as "BREAKING NEWS" scrolled at the bottom of the screen in big, black letters. She caught the eye of the bartender, and asked him to turn it up for her.

"This just in. An explosion has occurred at the offices of an anti-war radical group. The offices of Students for a Democratic Republic, better known as SDR, were completely demolished as the building exploded just an hour ago. A definite number of casualties has not been reported, but so far, three are known to be dead. The blast occurred when the makings of a homemade bomb malfunctioned. Witnesses of the event…"

Ellie's blood pounded. She had no idea if Lucy had gone to work this morning or not, but she had to find out immediately. She rushed over to the pay phone and dialed the apartment number. As it rang, Ellie muttered frantically to herself "Don't be at work…don't be at work…don't be at work…"

Max eventually answered. "Hello?"

"Max, it's me. Did Lucy go to SDR this morning?"

"I dunno. Why?"

"Just find out. Now."

He paused, knitting his brows in confusion. "Umm…okay…" Putting a hand over the receiver, he called out to Sadie, asking her if she knew. Coming back on the line, he said "Yeah, I guess she did."

Ellie's racing heart stopped abruptly as she fell absently against the wall. "Oh my god…"

"El, what's wrong?" Max asked, clearly worried.

"Max…turn on the news."

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After getting off the phone with Max, Ellie grabbed her coat off the stool and rushed out the door, yelling a harried explanation to her infuriated manager. Thinking the subway would take too long, she broke into a run, sprinting as fast as she could down to where the SDR offices were, already seeing the flashing lights of ambulances and fire trucks in the distance.

As soon as she reached the scene, she found herself stopped by the enormous crowd that had gathered around the rubble. Stretching to her toes, she tried to look through the sea of people for the familiar, long, blonde locks, but didn't see them.

Max came up behind her seconds later, his eyes crackling in sheer panic. Wordlessly, he took her arm and they wove in and out of people, slowly make their way towards the front of the crowd. He groaned when they finally got to the front, as bright, yellow caution tape enclosed the destruction and four or five policeman stood firmly in front of it, arms crossed and a nightstick held in one hand.

"We need to get through," Max said, trying to slip by one of the officers. He held out a hand and glared at him sternly.

"Sir, this is a closed area. Please step away."

"You don't understand…my sister's in there…" he pleaded, and again trying wriggle out of the officer's grasp. He only tightened his grip.

"We are doing everything we can, and we'll let you know when you can come through, but right now, step _back_," the officer responded, forcefully shoving him back into the crowd. Max's nostrils flared and eyes narrowed angrily. "You keep your hands off of me…" he said softly, his voice quaking in rage as he reached for a fistful of the officer's shirt. However, Ellie was too quick for him and she pulled him out of reach and spun him around, knowing a fight would only make things worse. He started to protest, but the looks she sent him shut up him immediately.

They wove out of the crowd and down the block a little, where they waited. Ellie leaned heavily against the brick wall, not sure what to do as Max paced back and forth, spouting off in an enraged panic.

"Fucking police, what the hell am I supposed to do now? I can't fucking know whether my fucking sister is alive or not? Jesus Christ…"

"I mean…what if she's dead?" He stopped dead in his tracks, and his face crumpled in worry. Being in such a rush to get here, he hadn't even contemplated Lucy not surviving. As body bags on stretchers were being rolled through the crowd, his heart lurched in agony, wondering if his precious baby sister was wrapped up in one of them.

Ellie took both of his trembling hands into hers and pulled him to an embrace, though no soothing words came out of her mouth. Frankly, she was wondering the same thing he was.

"Max?! Ellie?!" shouted a voice from the crowd. Both of them looked up, and lo and behold, they could see Lucy's golden head of hair poking through the sea of heads. Ellie immediately released Max out of her arms as he ran back towards the scene, meeting up with Lucy halfway and throwing his arms around her.

"Thank God…thank god," he mumbled, his baritone cracking in relief as he gripped her tightly, never feeling as grateful for his responsible, devoted, _living _sister as he was now.

"You scared… the living _shit_ out of me," he said, a hint of fury behind his gratitude.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry…" she choked in response, her face buried into his chest.

He released his death-like grip around her, and lightly pressed their foreheads together, glancing worriedly at the scrapes that blemished her pretty face.

"Are you okay? You need to go the hospital or anything?" he asked, his voice softening a little as he wiped the tears off her face.

"No, no, I'm fine," she replied. "It's just a few scratches, they said it was nothing serious…"

Max gently pressed his lips to the top of her head, and held her close once more. "Don't you do that to me, okay? I can't lose you, too. I just can't."

Lucy nodded slowly, and let him keep his strong arms wrapped around her shaking frame. She couldn't really describe what she was feeling right now. There was the reason she had put all her time and energy into SDR had just been told that his sister that he cared for so much was possibly dead, and she didn't have the fucking brains to go to pay phone and let him know she was alright. There was that. And then there was that completely numb, yet dull ache that all the work and pain and sweat and tears and bad breakups and everything she had gone through was for nothing. Jude had been deported, Ellie had lost her baby, Max was back and alive, but not himself, Sadie was back, but missing JoJo like crazy, Prudence was never around, and it seemed the entire world was speeding towards hell and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

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**Gah. Emo chapters. Hard to write.**

**There shouldn't be too many more emo chapters. At least I hope not :D.**

**Please review, we'll see if I can update as quickly two times in a row (don't count on it. XD). **


	16. Misery

"It's been forever, hasn't it?"

Ellie giggled lowly as she fingered the hem of his shirt, itching to pull it off of him. "It has been, indeed."

Max encouraged her temptations by kissing her again, allowing his tongue to swirl with her own. But before she could pull up his shirt, he took her hands and put them on the ends of her own top, both of them throwing off her shirt together. He pulled away from the kiss only to begin trailing down her neck, planting soft kisses on her smooth, unblemished skin. Ellie's eyes fluttered shut as her head dropped to his shoulder and she moaned softly with pleasure, grasping the shaggy ends of his unruly blonde mop of hair.

She slid her slightly trembling hands down his chest to his waist, where she easily glided them underneath his shirt and caressed his thin yet muscled stomach, teasing him lightly by keeping her fingers centimeters from his groin.

"No, you don't," he muttered, pressing his body closer to hers and causing her to feel his masculinity thick and hard against the inside of her upper thigh. She gasped and immediately began to fumble with the zipper of his jeans, eventually undoing the fly and slipping the pants off with ease.

"My turn," he said deviously as he wove his hands around her chest and effortlessly undid the difficult hookings of her bra, tossing it off the side. Adjusting himself farther down the bed, he gently pressed his lips to the supple, pearly skin of her breasts, tracing his tongue lightly across an already hard nipple.

Ellie's heart raced and her eyes shut once more in pure bliss, trying to swallow the enormous moan that wanted to escape from her lips and somewhat failing, choking his name on the edge of a whimper and exhaling sharply. Max came up for a moment and kissed her forehead tenderly to calm her down, wrapping his arms around her afterwards. He was only getting started, as far as he was concerned.

He gently rested her so that she lay top-side up on the bed. After unceremoniously taking off her pants and sliding her panties down to her ankles, he rested both of his hands on her knees and gently spread her legs apart, grinning that familiar, mischievous smile of his.

Ellie's stomach churned, but not for the reason she was expecting. Not having Max here was hell itself, but not having sex for a year? That was just torture. So why did she feel as though she was going to be sick? Maybe all the lovely drinks she had consumed earlier hadn't gone down as well as she'd hoped, or maybe she was just starting to catch a cold.

_Or maybe_ she thought to herself _you don't want history to repeat itself._

"Max…" she blurted suddenly, forcing her legs closed. Max took this as a joke and rested his chin on her knees, looking at her with lustful, longing eyes.

"Yes?"

"I…I can't do this. Not tonight," she stuttered, flipping herself over and burying her face into the pillow.

He gave a huff, and slid up towards her, placing his chin in the crook of her neck and twirling his tongue in and around her ear. "Come on…" he said gruffly "Am I not sexy enough for you tonight?"

"Max, please. I'm not…in the mood."

"Bullshit," he muttered, wrapping his arms around her middle and pressing his lips firmly against the nape of her neck.

He was right about that. But she couldn't think of any other reason to dodge out of it. So, she wriggled out of his grasp and turned over on her side. Now, getting frustrated, Max adjusted himself so that he was on the other side of her, putting a hand to her cheek.

"Hey…what's the deal? You're all over me one second and now you're not in the mood?"

"I guess…I don't know. Just not tonight, okay?" she pleaded, with as much sincerity as possible.

He shrugged, but his eyes blazed in aggravation. "Fine, whatever…." He rolled over onto his back, and looked away.

Awkwardly, she rested her head on his shoulder and tried to drift off. She felt horrible for giving crappy excuses and knew he could see right through them, but she didn't know what else to tell him.

What she didn't know was that Max was more confused than angry. _What the hell is with her?_ _First, she's all over me, then she doesn't want me, but still wants to cuddle and what not?_ Something was up, Ellie was definitely not telling him everything.

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Ellie woke the next morning, finding herself alone in her bed. She stretched and pulled herself out of bed, padding into the kitchen. She realized and thanked God it was Sunday, her only day off work this week. After pouring herself a bowl of stale cereal, she walked into the living room, finding Max and Lucy sitting on the windowsill, Max wrapped up in his fuzzy blue bathrobe, and Lucy, of course, already dressed in comfortable jeans and a magenta top.

Lucy smiled warmly at her as she walked in. Max did the same, but his eyes told her otherwise.

"Your parents called again. They said they're not sure whether you've dropped off the face of the earth, or you're just determined to ignore them," Lucy said, glancing upwards briefly as she tried to remember their exact terms.

Ellie rolled her eyes and sighed. After taking a handful of cereal from her bowl and munching contentedly, Max shot her a quizzical look.

"I thought you were going to visit them more often," he said, mouth full of Cap'n Crunch.

"Yeah, well, with everything that happened…" she trailed off, hoping to God he wasn't going to ask her to go more in depth. He swallowed and his brows furrowed.

"What happened?" he inquired cautiously.

She and Lucy exchanged nervous glances, and immediately looked down at the floor. "Nothing…" Lucy mumbled with false conviction.

"Just some…issues came up, you know?" Ellie finally stuttered. Max gave her a curt nod, and went to his bedroom to get ready for work. The two young women exhaled in hesitant relief.

"You've got to be more careful if you're going to keep this a secret, El," Lucy whispered, glaring at her just a little.

"I know, I know…I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up," she responded, looking at Max's bedroom door in dismay.

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_Three days later…_

"Max, I've got to get to work, El will be home soon, I think," Lucy said as she grabbed her purse and jacket off the chair in the kitchen.

He snorted bitterly from his perch on the windowsill, sunlight spilling over his chiseled features. "She's never home before 2 in the fucking morning these days…" he muttered under his breath, out of Lucy's earshot. He was getting progressively more suspicious as time wore on. Ellie was becoming a nervous wreck around him, and he had no idea why. She was barely home anymore, working full shifts almost 7 days a week. And whenever he walked in on a conversation that she was involved in, she immediately fell into a hush and awkwardly started up a new subject. At this point, he wasn't concerned with who told him what was happening, he just wanted to _know_.

Just as Lucy was heading out the door, he stopped her for a moment. "Luce?"

"Yeah?" she replied, turning back to face him.

"What's going on?" he inquired determinedly. Lucy fiddled anxiously with the ends of her sleeves.

"What do you mean…what's going on…" she said cautiously, not looking him directly in the eye. Max knew these little quirks of hers much too well.

"You know exactly what I mean."

"It's not a big deal…nothing you should worry about, look, I've really got to run," she lied coolly, attempting to escape through the door. He was too quick for her, jumping up from the windowsill and stopping the door from opening far enough to let her through.

"If it's not a big deal, you can tell me," he said as he took both her shoulders and whipped her around to face him. His previously hard, frosty eyes softened for just a moment, his grip on her shoulders loosened.

"Come on, Luce. You tell me everything…just tell me what's going on."

"I wish I could…but I can't. I promised her I wouldn't, Max. You're going to have to hear it from her," she mumbled with sincere remorse, and once more, she tried to slip through the door.

"Is she sleeping around?" he asked, his voice flat as could be. She stopped dead in her tracks, swiveling around slowly.

"W-what? N-no, of course not-"

A fiery, rueful grin passed over his lips. "Right. Of course she isn't. So tell me, why won't she sleep with me, even though I'm her fucking boyfriend, or how come she's never around lately, or why did I find pre-natal pills in our bathroom…."

"Max, you don't understand-"

"Oh, I think I understand _perfectly_, thank you. Look, here she is now!" Ellie had overheard their argument and hesitantly come into view through the doorway as she arrived home from work.

Max opened the door wider and crossed his arms in mock indifference. "So, maybe you can clear this up for us. When I told you to move on if I didn't come back, did you assume that meant you could fuck around while I was still in the hospital?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Cut the bullshit, alright?" he spat, nostrils flaring in rage. Rarely did he ever lose his temper, but when he did, God, he was a sight. "I know your little secret. When I said I loved you, I was being serious, for once. Surprising, I know. Maybe I just guessed that you weren't a complete, selfish bitch but it looks like that dream's been dashed, hasn't it. You could've at least told me about it instead of pretending everything was fine and forcing my own damn sister in on it, so I'm the one who looks like the idiot-"

"I didn't sleep with anyone, just listen to me…" she choked furiously as burning tears stung her eyes. Max stopped his rant for a moment, eyes blazing in fury and hands clenched tightly into fists. He stepped outside the apartment and got up within inches of her face. His voice lowered and quaked with rage.

"_Fuck. You._ Fuck you and all your fucking lies. You fucked me over big time when I needed you the most. I swear to God, Ellie-"

"Would you _listen to me_ for one goddamn second?!" she wailed, flailing her arms wildly.

"What?" he snapped icily.

Her face crumpled instantly and she shut her eyes in dismay.

"Max…you got me pregnant."

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**Yes, I am evil. XD**

**Please review! Other characters will have bigger parts in these next few chapters!**


	17. Blackbird

**So, I decided I wasn't very nice.**

**So I started writing this chapter less than 24 hours after I posted the previous one XD.**

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**Max's POV**

My world, which seemed to be spinning uncontrollably for the past year or so, comes to an abrupt halt. Did she just say what I think she said? No, there was no way…

"You're joking," I sputter incredulously. I hope for a punch line, a silly grin to break out on her face, hell, I would be relieved if she calls me a dumb ass and we would resume our little rampage. But her expression of dismay doesn't change and, obviously fighting tears, she slowly shakes that pretty head of hers. 

"Jesus Christ," are the only words that come to mind at the moment as I fall against the hallway wall. My mind is nowhere and everywhere at the same time, waves of different emotions passing through me. Fuck, I don't even know what I was feeling at this point.

"When?" I mumble.

"Right after you left…"

So the little monster was already here. Living. Breathing. Made from the both of us. _Shit_.

Father? Me?

"Well…where…is…it?" I manage to stammer, finding achievement in the ability to put two words together. "I mean, have you been…stashing it away somewhere?" Lucy sends me a look, and I know my statement was horribly inappropriate, but at this point:

a) I honestly don't care.

b) If I don't make a joke, damn it, I might just have a heart attack.

"She's dead," she says quietly. "Miscarriage…"

"Thank the Lord" almost tumbles out of my lips, but thankfully, I bite my tongue as I notice a few tears well up in her eyes. Lucy again shoots me a dubious look as I don't move from my position on the wall to comfort her, but frankly, I'm not sure I'd be much console to her.

"El…" I say quietly as a nervous hand runs through my hair. "I need to…to…" Fuck, I'm a mess. I try to insinuate my jumbled thoughts by gesturing wildly, but her comatose stare doesn't change.

Finally, I find the word. "Think." She nods and wipes the tears from her eyes. I stumble back into the apartment and collapse onto the couch, both Lucy and Ellie keeping post in the kitchen.

I have no idea what the hell to do. One, I sort of fucked up. Okay, I fucked up big time. Not only by knocking her up, but ranting and raving about a non-existent affair. I feel terrible and I owe her a big apology… or did I? Why did she keep it from me this long? Does she not trust me? Did I not deserve to know?

No, I don't deserve to know. Because I'll be a jerk and leave her high and dry, even if the baby wasn't born. That's what she's been warned about and that's what she always assumes. Damn it, why won't the bitch understand that I love her to death and I'd never do that to her?

I shake my head in frustration, realizing I was not going to come to any sort of conclusion tonight. It must be late now, the sun's gone, but Lucy and Ellie haven't moved at all. Finally, I pull myself off the couch and shuffle into the kitchen. El's sitting at the table with her head in her hands, Lucy hovering over her worriedly but not sure what to do. When she hears my footsteps, El looks up at me. I can tell she's waiting for me to scream or yell or storm out, but all I do is calmly cross my arms.

"What was her name?" is all that I ask.

Her eyes widen slightly in disbelief, but eventually she answers "Lizzy."

And for a reason I cannot account for, I feel a smile forming on my lips.

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We don't sleep in the same room for the next couple days. The most contact we receive from one another is occasional glances, to which we immediately look away once the other has caught our eye.

Sadie was pulling her hair out trying to get us to talk. She forced us to go to one of her gigs, watching it together in a cramped booth. We still didn't talk or even look at each other, to which we received penetrating glares from her in between songs.

It's not that we're mad at each other. At least, I wasn't with her. Okay, maybe I was a little more than ticked that she kept me oblivious this long, but I'm sure as hell not going to leave. I think it's that neither of us really knew what to say to one another anymore.

All this silence in the house is starting to get to me, though. Sadie was really the only one who talks, but she started to getting busy again. Luce was still working her ass off, but when she was home, I caught her sitting in Jude's room, staring at that damned strawberry. 

One night, both me and El convinced Sadie not to make us go to her gig tonight, I was stretching out comfortably on the couch, a cigarette in one hand. I got up momentarily to switch on the TV, but I found my choices remained war coverage or static, so I switched it off with a scowl.

El wasn't having much luck busying herself either, or that's what it sounded like. She seemed to be trying to make some sort of dinner, but was groaning and muttering profanities left and right. Eventually, a pot was thrown to the ground with a bang, and she appeared seconds later in the doorframe, leaning against it heavily.

It took every ounce of strength I had not to look at her, and she could tell. She sighed in frustration, and shook her head.

"Max…" she said finally.

Now, I glanced at her, with as much false apathy as possible. 

"I'm sick of this…" she murmured. I only nodded, but inside I was screaming in agreement. I sat up, and she came over to the couch, plopping down next to me.

She rested her head on my shoulder, and instantly my arms wrapped around her frame. I cursed myself for giving in so easily, but it is impossible to stay pissed at this woman!

"I'm sorry," she mumbled quietly, and I know she's not talking about the silent treatment.

"I know…I am, too…" 

"Listen…" she started eventually. "I promised my parents I would see them more often, and…well, I haven't really kept that promise. So, I'm leaving for a while."

I had the horrendous feeling in my gut that her parents were not the reason she was leaving for a while. But I decided to stay neutral, at least for that moment.

"How long?" I asked cautiously.

She didn't answer for a bit, then sighed. "I don't know…a while…"

"A week?"

She bit her lip, and that's about what did it for me. "Um, more like a month."

My expression of surprise and discontentment must have been horribly evident, but could she blame me? I didn't realize that when she said "I'm sick of this", apparently she meant our relationship.

I was sick of pretending everything was alright, so I removed my arms from her body and rested them on my knees. This was going to be awkward, that's for sure. Rarely had I ever been in the position of being the one broken up with. Normally, _I _was the one who said the traditional "It's-not-you-it's-me" crap.

"Ellie…do you just need a break from me, is that what it is?" I said finally.

"No, it's just…" She groaned a little, trying to find of the best way to do this politely as possible. "I'm a little…messed up right now, and I need to figure things out. I know that's the shittiest excuse in the world, but it's true."

I really should be yelling and screaming at her by now for being so damn difficult, but it just won't come. I didn't care anymore, I just wanted her to be happy. And if she's happy living 200 miles away in the fucked-up suburban world, then that's fine with me.

"Really, it's not you, it's-"

"El, finish that sentence, I swear to God…"

And I don't know whether it was truly that amusing or we just didn't care anymore, but both of us burst into unexpected giggles. She ruffled my hair in that way of hers that dangerously reminded me of my mother and started to saunter of towards her room. Before she could, though, I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her middle, burying my face into her neck.

"I love you," I said, my voice muffled slightly by the sweater she wore. I know it wasn't really the most appropriate thing to say when she's trying so damn hard to break up with you without hurting you, but I felt like speaking the truth, for once.

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_A few weeks later…_

The wind whistled through the few trees that weren't leaf-less, causing a piece of driftwood to float by Lucy's foot. She picked it up wistfully, remembering how not quite two years ago, Jude had done the same.

_God, you'd think by now I'd be over him_ she thought to herself. But everything, whether it be a chalk drawing on the side of the supermarket or a piece of floating driftwood, reminded her of him. It seemed impossible now to completely forget him.

She glanced over at Max, who was looking solemnly down at calm water. She felt bad for dragging him here, hell, she felt horrible for him in general. He had another nightmare last night, worst one he's ever had, and with no Ellie there, he was really shaken up. She had done all she could to calm him down, and she did a little, but she couldn't imagine the memories that were haunting him right now.

She hummed a little song, one she had heard many times, one she sang whenever she needed to remember better times. It was something her mother had sung to all three of her children when they were little, but she was the only one who became deeply attached to it. Her mother always sang it to her when she was sick, she vaguely remembered a ten-year old Max singing it to her during a late-night thunderstorm. No matter whether she was seven or seventeen, it had always made her feel better in the end.

But troubles such as sickness and thunderstorms were small compared to this. Even Daniel dying hadn't caused this much heartache. Perhaps it was because Jude wasn't dead and she didn't know where he was or that he was safe that she couldn't feel that same sense of closure. Nonetheless, she let her melodic soprano resonate through the chilly air.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night._

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly._

_All your life._

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise._

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_

_Into the light of the dark, black night._

Max looked up at the sound of his sister's beautiful voice, and gave her the smallest of smiles when she caught his eye. Carefully, he got up from his perch on the shambled boat, and sat down next to his sister. He let her head drop to his shoulder, and felt his own resting on top of hers after giving her a tender kiss on the forehead.

Something needed to change, he thought to himself, and he was damned if he was going to watch his little group of friends completely die away. There wasn't much he could do about Ellie, only wait, Sadie and JoJo would hopefully work things out on their own, Prudence was…well, Prudence, so he figured he was going to have to start with a particular, brunette English mate of his.

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_Jude,_

_It's Max. Yes, I am alive, miracles can fucking happen. Get your ass back here, now, and don't make me go all the way to fucking Liverpool to get you. I'm broke as shit, and El's not here to give me money anymore…more about that later. Luce is driving herself into a tizzy about you, and frankly, it's starting to get on my nerves. Yeah, I suppose I miss you a bit, but right now, I just want you back so you can keep my sister happy, because apparently you're the only thing that keeps her happy (relatively). _

_No, she's not dead, if England cared enough to put something about the whole bomb thing in your papers. If not, then pretend I didn't say anything on that matter. May I also state for the record that I am SICK of paying your rent bill, and so was El, and that if anything, you need to come back and give her the check yourself. But first and foremost, Lucy. Then the rent bill. Then maybe us?_

_Ah, hell. Just come back, man._

_Max_

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**Please review.**


	18. Part One: Hey Jude

**Uber-super-duper long chapter, split into two parts =)**

**Might be a little confusing, but for each part, the characters plotlines start at different times but their part ends at the same time.**

**And no, this is not the end. (meaning the end of Part Two)**

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**PART ONE: HEY JUDE**

_**Jude**_

"Just come back, man." That's what Max said, and that's all he needed to say. And I had read the papers. Oh boy. Thank God he had told me Lucy was alright, that took an aching worry out of my stomach, but I still needed to see it to believe it. I felt terrible for being the disappearing son, but bless my mum; she said life was better over there anyway. I scrawled a quick note, and sent it back to Max, telling him when I'd be back in the States.

The whole immigration fix was more of a pain in the ass then I expected, what with me already jumping ship illegally. But after a lot of twisting and pleading, I finally got that damned little book and got out of there as soon as possible.

So, there I was, on an unseasonably warm November morning, praying to God they'd let me through as the officer working at the front desk looked me over. He gave me one more stern look-over, then sighed and stamped my passport.

I couldn't hide the grin that spread across my face as I took it, and began to walk back onto the other side of the docks. My heart pounded as I scanned the crowd, the blinding sunlight made it impossible to see much. Where the hell was he?

"Judey! Judey! Judey! Judey! Judey! Judey! JUDEY!" screamed an all too familiar voice in front of me. I looked ahead, and sure enough, there was Max, gripping the chain-link fence excitedly, with my old corduroy cap shoved haphazardly over his shaggy, blonde locks.

"Max!!" The two of us ran towards each other, with me catching him easily in my arms. I'm normally not one for big, bone-crushing hugs, but what can I say? I missed the bugger like crazy. We didn't say anything for a while, both of us breathless from bursting with joy, but we still exchanged bright smiles. I threw my bag into the back of his cab and we sped off not two minutes later.

"You don't look too messed up," I commented as I playfully shoved his, or rather my, cap over his eyes.

He scowled and pushed the brim back up, the car swerving a little as he did so. "Yeah, well, everything below the neck works fine."

I seriously hoped he was joking.

I tried to suppress my chuckles as I noticed the erm…interesting bit of facial hair that covered his top lip.

"What you laughing at?" he grumbled after a bit.

"Just that lovely moustache of yours…"

He massaged his upper lip protectively. "Shut up. It's sort of starting to grow on me. It makes me look…"

"Old?"

"Shut up!" he growled. "I was thinking distinguished."

"You know El's going to have a fit when she sees that."

"If she sees it…" he trailed off, all sense of mockery leaving the conversation. I had vaguely heard through the grapevine that El left for a while, but I'd figure she'd be back by now. Looks like I wasn't the only one having relationship problems.

"Mate, she'll come around."

"Right. That's why I haven't seen her in what, two months almost?" he muttered angrily, and that's when it hit me how much shit he must have gone through lately. Maybe that moustache was more than lack of shaving. The Max I'd grown to love was still present, but it felt as if it was a mask he was throwing on for my benefit.

"So, does she know?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Uh-uh."

"You didn't tell her?" And that familiar, lopsided grin of his tugged at his lips for a split second.

"Nope."

That little bastard. Could he have made the situation any more nerve-racking for me? I figured he wouldn't have told her, but he could've AT LEAST dropped a hint. I fell silent for a bit, now scared out of my mind. He obviously didn't tell her about the letter he sent either, so would she even be happy to see me again? We hadn't exactly parted on stable terms.

Max looked over, and ruffled my hair good-naturedly when he noticed my fearful silence. "Ah, come on, man. She misses you like crazy, I promise."

I smiled weakly, still not completely convinced. Wanting to keep my mind on something else for the moment, I turned the radio up.

Sadie's soulful voice came blasting through the speakers. I couldn't hide the grin that spread across my face as I could recognize her unique pipes anywhere. Max grimaced, and urged the gas pedal, seeing that we were a bit behind schedule.

We pulled up in front of the old tenant house, and went up the never-ending set of stairs to the rooftop. I immediately started to search for Lucy, but was momentarily interrupted as a bubbly, vivacious Prudence squealed in delight. I embraced her lithe form tightly, it's been ages since I'd seen her.

As much as I'd missed her though, she was not the one I was looking for. I scanned the small group frantically, becoming increasingly anxious as I did not see the lengthy, sun-drenched locks I had been longing to see. My mind started screaming _she's not coming…she's not coming…_

Poor Pru, Max was prodding her non-stop about the location of his currently missing sibling. As if things couldn't get any worse, the police promptly barreled through the rooftop door and began forcefully escorting band members away as the song finished. I knew that we'd be probably be taken some place miles away, and I just couldn't wait to see my Lucy.

So, quietly, I slipped behind a small crevice between a brick wall and the building itself, watching silently as my friends were taken down the stairs.

Soon, as I poked my head around seconds later, all that was left was me and a microphone.

_**Lucy**_

The most I saw of Max that morning was when he burst out of his bedroom at noon, immediately shrugging his leather coat over his shoulders and a cap over his tangled mess of hair.

"Sadie's performing today at two. You better be there," he said as he grabbed a stale bagel off the counter.

I shrugged vaguely, staring out at the sun-drenched Village through our glassy windows.

"I've been to plenty of her concerts, Max. I just feel like staying home today." Normally, he roll his eyes and say no more on the subject, but today his eyes widened and were sparkling in excitement.

"No, seriously, you've got to come. There'll be…something there for you."

I raised my eyebrows in sarcastic interest. "And what will this wonderful surprise be?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"

I groaned and let my head drop into my hand. One thing I hadn't missed of Max's former self was his audacity to consistently push people's buttons. Well, maybe I had a little, sometimes it was amusing. Now, it was just irritating.

Walking over to me and taking the half-eaten bagel out his mouth, he kissed my forehead. "Come on, Luce. I need you to be there, alright?"

I sighed in my own self-defeat and nodded. He told me Prudence had left directions to the studio she was performing at. Before he left, I shot him a thoroughly pissed-off glance. "Only for a little while, though." He grinned and shouted a "Love you, sis!" before rushing out the door.

I don't know why I obliged to go. I really didn't want to. I suppose I wanted to humor my brother, I hadn't seen him this happily exhilarated in ages, so, I guess I would play his little game.

After cleaning myself up a bit and getting the afternoon off at the diner, I hailed a cab to get to Sadie's place. I leaned my head tiredly against the window, racking my brains for what my big surprise could be. All Max had said is that there would be something for me there.

We soon pulled up to an old tenant house. I paid the cabbie and got out of the car. Much to my surprise, I could already hear Sadie's voice echoing off the impossibly tall brick buildings. I glanced up in confusion, and couldn't hide my grin as I saw her band pounding away on the rooftop.

Eagerly, I walked up the front door and hit the buzzer. Something bright red caught my eye and I scanned the side of the building briefly.

There it was, staring me right in the face, that _damned_ _strawberry_. How people could have ever thought it was a work of art was beyond me. I despised it, and I saw it everywhere, due to Sadie being pretty famous by now. I wanted to take every poster, flyer, anything with the logo on it and rip it to shreds. That piece of canvas with scarlet paint splattered over it ended my happiness long ago, though I had been naïve to realize it then.

I shook my head and walked away to God knows where. It didn't matter, I just didn't want to be there. I know Jude would run through my mind no matter where I was, but being around my friends only made it worse.

_**Ellie**_

I ran away. I ran away from all the drama, all the shit, and the man I could have possibly spent the rest of my life with. And I was most certainly cursing myself for being so exceptionally stupid.

Why it took me almost two months to realize this is beyond my knowledge. Maybe the oblivious suburban world had warped my brain into thinking that I could hide from my problems. Maybe I had known, but was denying it. Whatever the reason was, I damn well knew what I'd done now.

There wasn't much point going back really. Not for Max anyway. I had told him sweet lies that I would call and write, but I'd done neither. The only possible excuse I had was that when I came home, I sort of disappeared. I kept to myself, soft smiles were the only thing I exchanged between my siblings, I rarely went out; my mother would have to throw decent clothing on me and shove me out the door. I existed, and that was about it. I was quite literally nowhere.

I hoped he had moved on; no, I _wanted_ him to move on. I did fuck him over when he needed me the most, just not for the reason he was originally thinking of. I never deny that we were in love, we certainly were. I hadn't meant to break up with him anyway, it was only supposed to be a quick trip home. Slowly but surely, however, the quiet peace I found here was ungodly comforting, and soon, I couldn't imagine being thrown back into my previous, crazed lifestyle. I didn't tell anyone about the baby, God, no, I didn't want my head chopped off. So, I stayed, cutting off any contact with my family in New York. At that point in time, I didn't have the gall to go back, where they would most likely be understandably angry.

But damn it, I missed them all like crazy. That was one thing I most certainly did not escape. And even as time wore on, the monotony of Suburbia was becoming grating and slowly driving me insane. Soon, I downright missed it. I thrived under stress, under capricious events, and everything here was meticulously planned and carried out. Despite Max and I previously being on complete opposite ends of the spectrum before, perhaps a reason we sparked was the fact that neither of us could stand redundant living.

What exactly made me snap I'm not sure, perhaps it was when my mother dragged me to lunch with her work cronies. All the blabbering talk of promotions, bills, stock markets, baby showers, wedding showers, and everything in between was enough to make me gag.

So, two days after that atrocious luncheon I left, promising my parents, of course, that I'd be home again for Thanksgiving.

But when I found myself on a plane back to the city, I was stuck. What was I supposed to do _after_ I got off the plane? I doubt I would receive a warm welcome. Eventually, I figured that I would go back, beg for forgiveness, and hope they would be civilized towards me at least. When I landed JFK, I hailed a cab and told the driver to take me down into the Village.

The driver turned his radio up a little, and I instantly recognized Sadie's smoky vocals blasting through the speakers. An undeniable grin grew on my face as the rushing streets became increasingly colorful and vibrant. As we drove farther into the Village, the traffic became incredibly dense and soon we were in a block-long gridlock. A large group of what were unmistakably hippies gathered vigilantly around an old tenant house.

"Must be where the chick's playing at…" the driver grumbled, clearly irritated.

Glad I overheard his discontented statement, I paid him quickly and got out of the cab, weaving my way through the large throng of people and slipping into the building just as the police came into view.

Shit, there'd be no way I'd get up there before they would. Thinking quickly, I crouched under the dark staircase, hugging my knees to my chest as the officers burst through and dashing up the steps.

I was _so_ anxious to see all of them, for many different and conflicting reasons. But all I could do right now was wait.

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**Mmm…yes, I'm still evil.**

**It should not take me long to update, though. So no worries.**

**And please be nice when reviewing, this wasn't my greatest chapter, I know.**


	19. Part Two: All You Need is Love

So, I could potentially make a sequel or just keep this one going

**Ah, yes. Quick updates are lovely, aren't they?**

**So, sorry I didn't write Lucy and Jude, but I didn't really feel the need to. I mean, we all know what happened D. If you REALLY want me to and feel this fic would not be complete without it, I'll edit it and write it in. **

**JUST FOR YOU ALL!**

**Aha.**

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**PART TWO: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE**

_**Ellie**_

"All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need."

I knew that Jude was reaching out to a particular, golden-haired female whom I saw sulking away from the building out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't help but smile as he sang words of truth. The annoying, sensible Ellie in my mind quietly told me it was horribly cliché, but damn it, it was enough to make me get out of my hidden position and silently make my way up the rickety stairs.

There were all my friends, belting our beautiful mantra to world, or at least to the entirety of the East Village, with the police keeping a watchful eye over everything. I slipped by them quickly, knowing I probably wasn't supposed to have the ability to get up there, and walked closer to my friends, feeling my heart pound as I instantly picked out the slender frame and shaggy blonde hair.

Prudence was the first one to notice me, and her dark, normally shadowy eyes lit up like a firecracker. She jumped up from her little piano and began to squeal in delight.

"EL-"was all that came out of her mouth before I quickly pressed an urgent finger to my lips. Unfortunately, and somehow, it was loud enough for Sadie, JoJo, and Max to turn around simultaneously.

I shut my eyes in dismay, but Prudence giggled cheerfully. I couldn't help but smile, and shrugged in apathy. My life was far from perfect, so why should start now? I embraced her hastily before inching my way closer to my fate. I prayed I could stall with a greeting from Sadie and JoJo, but all they did was beam at me, eyes darting between me and Max all-knowing grins.

Soon, I had no choice but to finally look at him. Damn, if I ever needed another reason to be in love with him, it was that he could bear a hideous moustache and I would still find him sinfully attractive. _Focus, Eleanor_ my mind scolded me.

"I thought you wanted rid of me," he said bitterly, though his expression was hard to read. Maybe it was just my doubting hopes, but he almost looked like he was trying to suppress a smile.

I sighed and grinned bashfully in spite of my current position. "Yeah, well, as I think I mentioned a while ago, you are good at seduction. Though you still remain to be incredibly tactless, you still come off as being quite charming…you are still somewhat attractive, even with that hideous moustache of yours, so…I guess what I'm trying to say is, I didn't want to rid of you in the first place, and it wouldn't matter if I did, because I can't get rid of you."

He was definitely smiling by now. Somehow, I had won. But, being Max, he had to just press me that much farther. "And why's that?"

"Because I love you."

He came up to me and slid his arms down my waist, and just before kissing me, he murmured "Good answer."

Love is all I need.

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So, I'm guessing you all think, la-dee-da, everything's become perfect after that romantic reunion between four lovers on the rooftop, right? HA! As I think I mentioned before, my life has NEVER been perfect, so it certainly isn't going to start now.

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Life certainly was NOT perfect after our rooftop reunion. In fact, Max was pissed as ever about me leaving for two months. I didn't blame him, and it certainly took a lot of apologizing, a lot of silent treatment, and a lot of make-up sex before he forgave me.

But even though it wasn't perfect, it was good enough for me. We loved each other, what can I say? Much to my dismay, his antics were starting to rub off on me. One night, a couple weeks after I came home and right before Thanksgiving, me, Jude, Lucy, and Max (the four of us got our own apartment) had gone out. Us girls had to stay sober, we had work early the next morning. The boys drank themselves under the table. Of course, we were left to the duty of carrying their hammered asses up nine flights of stairs into our apartment, both of them collapsing on the couch not long afterward.

As Lucy quietly read a book with Jude dozing peacefully in her lap, I went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Before I got in, though, I noticed a stray razor that had been left on the kitchen sink. The wheels in my head turned frantically, and a small, yet mischievous grin formed on my lips. I rummaged through the cabinets for a bit of shaving cream, and tiptoed quietly back into the living room.

Luce glanced at me quizzically as I bent over a sleeping Max, a lit cigarette hanging between his limp fingers, biting my lip on how I could possibly do this without waking him up.

"What're you doing?"

"Getting rid of that damned mustache, that's what. But…I mean, I shave my legs but that's hardly the same thing. How do I do this?"

Much to my surprise, she shot me an equally naughty grin, and gently awoke Jude. He grumbled something incoherent, fluttering his eyes open and groaning at the impending hangover.

"What'dya want?" he mumbled.

"El needs your help."

"I'm probably not sober."

"I probably don't care," I cut in, sending him big, brown, "Bambi" eyes. He rolled his own, pulled himself out of Lucy's warm lap, and walked over to me.

"What is it?"

"Help me get rid of Max's moustache."

His brows furrowed in confusion. "Now?"

"Yes."

"While he's sleeping?"

"Uh-uh."

He flashed a bright, beer-induced smile. "Brilliant."

Delicately, I smeared some cream over his upper lip, making sure I kept it away from his mouth. Then, with Jude's skilled hand guiding me (he moved my arm for me), I slowly took off the right side of it in a few swipes (I couldn't help but be surprised the man still kept a steady hand, despite having gallons of alcohol pumping through his veins.) Jude started to giggle infectiously, sending me into silent, shaking hysterics. This slight disruption didn't go unnoticed. Max mumbled in his sleep, squirming a little and eyelids moving rapidly. Both of us froze, the razor still in mid-air. Finally, after what seemed like ages, his breathing regulated, and both of us let out a sigh of relief. We took off the other side as fast as possible, and wiped his face of with the edge of the blanket.

I crossed my arms and stood back, impressed by my partially contributed work. I thanked Jude, let him get back to his precious nap, and cleaned up the mess, stopping in the living room one more time before I snuck into the bathroom.

"I guarantee he'll be up in a few minutes. When he does wake up and has a mini temper-tantrum, please explain to him that I'll make it up to him if he joins me in the shower."

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut at the thought of her brother's sexual happenings, but smiled nonetheless. I sauntered aimlessly into the bathroom. Sure enough, not two seconds after I stripped and started the water, I heard a long, slightly muffled "Hey!"

"Alright. Who did it?" Max asked the other couple in irritation. Lucy sent him an innocent smile, and said sweetly "I took no part of it. Blame your best friend and your girlfriend, who is currently in the shower, and said she'll make it up to you if you join her."

Any annoyance that had resided in Max's dazzling eyes instantly left, and he muttered a hasty "G'night, sis," before scampering into the bathroom.

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Strangely, it was things like that that kept us together. Life was never dull in our apartment, sometimes that was a good thing, sometimes that was a bad thing. We thrived on the unexpected moments.

One particular unexpected moment that knocked me off of my feet was that horribly cold morning after Thanksgiving, at the beginning of December. The gorgeous snow that we get here normally makes up for the cold, but today, no dancing snowflakes fell. The sun wasn't even out, it was a dreary, bitterly cold day. I was at work from open 'till close, and, as I was desperately seeking a new job, it gloriously sucked big time.

Max came for free food around dinner time, surprisingly with no one else in tow. He was probably the only willing to brave the weather in exchange for dinner. He sat comfortably in the cushy booth, arms stretched out across the top of seats, finding amusement at a particularly noisy couple sitting across from him.

I know we had been slammed all day, but I begged my manager for ten minutes. He huffily obliged, and I collapsed into the booth not long afterward, letting my head drop onto slick, hard table loudly, to which Max snorted. I picked my head up momentarily, and glowered at his lack of sympathy.

"I don't how your sister did it for two years, I might just take the rifle in the back room and shoot every single customer in this fucking café. They…" I jabbed my thumb at the rowdy pair. "have been here since three and refuse to leave, Bill's just been a general pain the ass, Joan…god, don't even get me started with her, and my manager…" I let out a frustrated shriek of some sort, causing a few customers to stare at me in bewilderment.

I dropped my head back onto the table, quietly this time, out of embarrassment for my outcry.

"El?"

I grunted. Words were too much for my brain right now.

"Will you marry me?"

…Wait, what?? That caused me to whip in a sitting position, sending some tangled strands of hair every which way.

"Come again?"

"Will you marry me?"

Was this some sick sort of joke? Could he not use his male sense of female psychology, though it may be lacking, to tell I was in no mood for jokes at the moment?

"Repeat that…slowly, if you will. I'm not sure I caught all of that."

He leaned across the table, taking both of my hands, which had involuntarily started to tremble. Staring at me with blazing, blue eyes he said, punctuating each word, "Will…you…marry…me?"

Suddenly, I realized he was dead serious. But this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Not on my ten-minute break after 12 hours of work. Not with my hair a mess and my feet blistered and my head throbbing. No, no, no…

"W-what?" I sputtered, glad I could manage to speak one word with my mind swimming furiously.

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "El, I've said it three times now, do you really need to hear it again? Just answer the question, yes or no."

God, whatever happened to the traditional bashful, shy intro that lead to an eventual proposal? Yes, I can admit I had sort of been expecting this to happen sooner or later, but not now and not so direct.

I realized that I had been sitting there with my mouth hanging open for about a minute now, and that he was patiently awaiting my answer.

"Y-yes…yes!" I stammered, pressing a hand over my mouth. He grinned and fiddled with something in his pocket. Then, taking my hand, he pulled me out of the booth, and got down on one knee, the café commenting quietly with a resounding gasp.

"Jesus Christ," I mumbled, and damn it, my vision went blurry. "I thought you said things like this were cheesy and pretentious."

"Yeah, well," he chuckled, sliding the ring onto my finger. "I do think things like this are cheesy and pretentious, I didn't plan it this way. Actually, I didn't plan it at all. Well, I got the ring, but I didn't know when I was going to do it." He stood up, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"But we both happened to be here alone, well, somewhat…and I happened to have the ring, and you happened to be already pissed off, so I thought, hey, why not piss her off more?"

I burst into peals of laughter. "Why the hell would this piss me off?"

He inched closer to me, pressing his forehead to mine. "Because I know you hate surprises," he muttered playfully.

"Funny. I'm starting to like them now."

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**I know that was full of mushy goodness, but I had to put some in there after lots of angst chapters XD.**

**I'll add more of the other character in, don't worry!**


	20. Devil in Her Heart

**So, I think I've said this already, but instead of a sequel, I'm going to keep this one going.**

**Don't worry, it won't be like 40 chapters (at least, I don't think so.)**

**This is a slightly filler chapter (sorry). It was too long with the other parts of it, so the next chapter should be up soon.**

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Ellie's manager decided not be a jackass for once, and let her off for the rest of the evening. They walked home together, Ellie fidgeting around gaily, giddy as a schoolgirl. She sprinted up the steps, dragging Max behind her, and burst into their apartment seconds later.

Lucy, who apparently had just come home from work as her hair was still done in a neat bun, looked up expectantly and smiled warmly at their arrival.

"What makes you so happy after a full shift day, mmm?"

"Oh, nothing. Just a little something your brother happened to slip over my ring finger." Ellie stuck out a bejeweled hand, and Lucy's mouth dropped open.

"Oh my god, he didn't!" she squealed and they both emitted girlish shrieks and gripped each other's hands excitedly. All the while, Max had been observing them from a good distance, partly in amusement and partly out of disregard, and he cautiously walked towards them.

"Oh my gawd!" he shrieked in a terrible impersonation of the both of them, his normal baritone jumping to a high squeak. Lucy promptly smacked her brother upside the head, but grinned genially.

"We need to celebrate!" she started eventually. "Why don't you get changed and I'll give Sadie a ring?"

Ellie nodded excitedly and, after giving the siblings a kiss on the cheek, dashed into her bedroom to change.

"So, marriage? You? Never would have guessed it," Lucy said quietly. "But at least it's to someone who might be able to keep that crazed mind of yours in one place."

He shrugged. "We'll see how long she'll be able to withstand me."

She giggled and wrapped her arms affectionately around her brother, shaking him lightly and exclaiming in a sing-song voice. "Max…god, I'm so happy for you."

Suddenly, she pulled away and fiercely looked him straight in the eye. "You do love her, don't you?"

"…Yes, sister dearest, that's kind of the reason I'm _marrying_ her."

She grinned sheepishly and threw her arms once again around him. "Just checking, just checking. Let me ask one thing though. Please tell me that ring isn't stolen."

"Erm…not exactly-"

"Max!"

"I found it in my old room a while ago…not really sure what it was from…"

Lucy let go of him to raise her eyebrows questioningly at him. He sighed and groaned, digging his palm into his forehead.

"Okay, so it was from an old hookup, but that was years ago! And she left it there and never called back. And it was pretty, so…"

She patted his shoulder. "Don't tell her. Normally things like that ruin the magic of the whole ordeal. You do want to keep her feelings in the best interest, you know."

Max rolled his eyes but nodded. "Yes, _mother._"

She smirked and gave him a maternal pat on the cheek before sauntering into the kitchen to give Sadie a call.

Jude, bundled from head to toe in a puffy coat and a ski cap shoved over his once-again short, curly locks, shuffled into the apartment, sighing in relief has he felt the steady warmth of the heater.

"Hey mate," he greeted warmly to the blonde, who raised his hand in greeting. Jude peeled off his many layers, revealing a brown cardigan and ripped jeans, and walked aimlessly into the kitchen, where he noted Lucy babbling excitedly over the phone.

He turned back to Max and pointed quizzically at his girlfriend, to which a bashful smile tugged at Max's lips. Before he could say anything, however, Ellie came bursting out of the bedroom she and Max shared, looking like she was about to hit the town.

She beamed brightly at Jude and embraced him tightly. Instantly noticing the new, sparkly objecting adorning her finger, he took her hand and stared at it, connecting the dots in his mind.

He glanced at Max and shook his head in mock exasperation, an undeniable grin spreading across his face.

"You're engaged."

Ellie nodded frantically, and again Jude embraced her firmly. Knowing Max for so long, he had kind of become sensitive to his moods and quirks, and he had known for the past week something was up, a subtle nervousness about him that wasn't normal.

He slumbered over to his best friend, who casually kept his arms crossed and tried to hide a grin.

"So, I suppose it'll be washing dishes, screaming children, and horrible sex life for the rest of your days, am I right?"

Max scowled and punched him lightly.

"I'm only joking, mate," Jude chuckled as he gripped him in a strong hug. He never figured any one could keep his scatter-brained bud in one place, but if anyone were to do it, it would definitely be Ellie. And there was no denying how genially happy he looked.

Lucy hung up the phone and contentedly watched both her boys celebrate. She couldn't help but think that for all the shit all of them had gone through lately, it was rare moments like these that made it worth it.

"Alright, alright. Enough sappiness. Let's party!"

000000

"A toast! A toast! To Max and Ellie, the first of us to take the plunge! Just don't fuck it up, you two!"

The group chuckled and drank their ten-dollar champagne heartily. The engagement party had made its way on to the rooftop, despite the frigid temperatures. Ellie, cheeks flushed red from the blowing wind but also out of sheer bliss, jumped to the edge of the rooftop and shouted "Let's start the music!"

JoJo and Sadie obliged and immediately started with an upbeat, bluesy tune. Max joined Ellie on the ledge and slid an arm around her waist and a hand into hers.

"_She's got the devil in her heart. _

_But her eyes, they tantalize._

_She's gonna tear your heart apart._

_Oh, her lips are really thrilling."_

"_I'll take my chances for romance is_

_so important to me._

_She'll never hurt me._

_She won't desert me._

_She's an angel sent to me."_

Ellie lost her balance for a moment, and stumbled, with Max catching her easily in his strong arms. She giggled vaguely and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Next time, let's not dance on a foot wide ledge when we're a little more than buzzed."

"Good plan," he replied, but continued to sway her gently, and she was definitely not objecting to that.

"So, um…Christmas."

"What about it?"

"Well, my parents were kind of expecting me to come home, and I was planning on bringing you with me."

He paused. "Oh?" he said in a mock casual tone, which she instantly noted.

"Lucy and Jude coming along also. But is that alright? with you?"

"Yeah, of course, but my parents are huge pricks about Christmas, the whole setting up the Christmas tree and what not, so um, maybe not? And actually, I was planning on dragging you non-Carrigan's with me."

The couple's eyes met, the wheels turning incessantly in their heads.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ellie said eventually.

"I suppose I am…but, fuck, that'll suck. Two Christmases? With oblivious parents?"

"It's kind of what we have to do, dear."

"Don't call me dear, babe. You sound like my mother. But I guess you're right… fuck, I don't want to do this."

Ellie lightly kissed the tip of his nose and shot him a smirk. "Welcome to the married life, Maxwell."

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**Okay. So it wasn't slightly filler. It just plain WAS filler.**

**Sorry, I'll update soon, I promise D.**

**Please review (nicely, if you don't mind). **


	21. In Spite of All the Danger

"Please don't tell me your parents are racist."

The fresh, moon-lit snow crunched beneath the feet of the four young lovers as they walked up the driveway to the Carrigan household.

Lucy and Max exchanged uncomfortable glances. Ellie's face fell into discontent.

"They're not…racist, per say…they go with what's the trend," Lucy stammered after a bit.

"Meaning?"

Max put a protective arm around her shoulders. "…meaning if it were popular to have interracial couples, they would be completely cool with it. But since it's still a little…"

"Disgraceful?"

"Erm…yeah…they're kind of on the fence about the whole issue."

Ellie sighed. "Basically, I just want to know whether they'll start tossing around black jokes or spouting off the…well, you know what I'm talking about."

"No," he reassured her firmly. "they won't. If they do, they're in store for a major bitch fest from myself."

She muttered something incoherent, but felt a slight security by his words. He kept his arm protectively around her shoulder as the four of them reached the door, ringing the doorbell shortly afterward.

Mrs. Carrigan came swooping to the front door, and opened it with a motherly squeal.

"_Luuu_-cy! Honey, so wonderful to see you!" She held her daughter in a strong embrace and planted a kiss on her cheek. She warmly greeted Jude, giving him a slight pat on the back, then moved on to her son.

The two of them had never been close, especially as Max had grown up. But after seeing him lie broken and battered in a hospital bed, she felt a certain sense of attachment that she couldn't quite describe.

She called it her parental instinct.

"There's my brave, handsome soldier," she murmured lovingly before enveloping him in her arms. He let her, grudgingly, and grumbled a soft "Hey, Mom."

"And you must be Ellie," she said cheerfully, though Ellie could've sworn she saw the bright smile on Mrs. Carrigan's face diminish ever so slightly. "So nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Carrigan," Ellie replied politely, stepping into the cozily warm house. Both of them slipped off their coats and hung them on the coat rack. As she glanced around the beautiful home, Ellie realized how similar she and siblings' childhoods must have been.

There was loud, rumbling sound of feet rushing down the stairs, and in a whirlwind of blonde hair and plaid pajamas, a young, teenage girl threw herself into Max's awaiting arms.

"Aw, Jules, missed you like crazy!" came his muffled voice from the thick sweater his youngest sister was wearing. He released her after a while, and beamed at her lovingly.

"Damn…you look _hot_, how old are you now, twenty?" he murmured in approval. Julia punched him lightly on the arm.

"You pervert, I'm fifteen!" she scolded warningly, but a genuine smile was plastered on her face.

"Shit, I'm getting old."

"_Maxwell_, tone down the language please!"

"Yes, Mommy Dearest," he muttered. "Hey, Jules, this is El, my g-"

"Friend!" Ellie interjected almost immediately, shooting Max an incredulous glance. She turned back to the youngest Carrigan and shook her hand. He opened his mouth to protest, but the look she gave him shut him up immediately. Lucy and Jude pressed a hand over their mouths to suppress their giggles. This was certainly going to be an interesting holiday.

The group of friends greeted the rest of the Carrigan family, with Ellie feeling like she wanted to disappear into the walls as soon as she fell under the stern gaze of Mr. Carrigan. He may have given her a kind smile, but his piercing blue gaze never let her out of his sight. After a bit of mindless chit-chat, Mrs. Carrigan concluded that they all get some sleep.

Ellie was to room with Lucy while Jude was bunking with Max. The four shared a casual goodnight while everyone was still awake, only sharing hugs and comradely kisses. Then, about an hour after the household fell into a slumbering hush, they snuck into the hallway, tip-toeing quietly against creaking floorboards to say their proper goodnights.

Max pressed her against the railing, kissing her deeply as his fingers played cautiously with the ends of her blouse. She took both of his hands and put them firmly down at his sides, knowing they were not only audible but probably visible also. He gently pressed his forehead against hers.

"This sucks, why can't I room with you?" he grumbled as he began to trail lightly down her neck.

"I think you _know_ the reason why…" she muttered, seductively teasing him by keeping her fingers inches from his groin. He tsked lowly, and with that, forced her hands down, causing her to find, to her amusement, that he was already hard as a rock.

"My god, you two. Try and control yourselves," Jude interrupted, Lucy's arms wrapped tightly across his waist and her head leaning against his shoulder.

"Shut up. Like you two weren't doing the same thing while we weren't looking."

"Touché."

"You want to switch rooms?"

Lucy winced. "You know if we do that, Mom or Dad or somebody is bound to barge in on us or something. It'll happen, I promise you."

"Fuck that."

"Come on, let's get back to bed, I'm sure we'll have some alone time sooner or later."

"You want to get just get it over with and have a foursome?"

Lucy rolled her eyes at her brother's consistent sexual thoughts, gave Jude a last kiss on the lips, then disappeared off to her bedroom. Jude shot Max a filthy look as he scuffled into Max's bedroom.

"Looks like it's just you and me, babe." Max said as he leaned in for a kiss. But she pressed a finger to his lips, shaking her head. He groaned and pouted, much to her delight. She left him further unsatisfied by only kissing his cheek, then eyeing him seductively as she sauntered into Lucy's bedroom for the night.

"Bitch," he said as loudly as he dared. She smirked and flipped him off grandly. "Love you too, Maxy-poo."

00000

Christmas Eve dawned brightly, and sunlight dazzled through the large, glassy windows. Ellie's eyes fluttered opened and she yawned contentedly. Then she realized that the bed she occupied was empty and that it was 9:30 in morning. Jumping out of bed, she threw on a nice pair of jeans and a sweater before rushing into Lucy's bathroom, making sure she looked presentable. It was going to be hard enough winning over the Carrigans', and it looked like she had gotten off to a rough start.

She gathered her composure and walked calmly down the stairs into the kitchen, where everyone was already up and eating breakfast.

"Look what came from the trenches of Luce's bedroom," said Max as he smiled warmly at her arrival.

"Now, Maxwell, be nice, I'm sure she was just tired from the long trip," interjected his mother politely, but Ellie could sense a hint of disdain in her voice. "Please, grab a glass and sit down with us."

"Thank you and I'm so sorry, Mrs. Carrigan. Next time I'll be up at the crack of dawn."

She walked over to the cabinets where Max joined her, trying to sneak a kiss. However, she could feel watching eyes boring into them, so, purposefully, she bent down so that his lips landed on her forehead. Wanting out of the stern gaze, she shuffled back over to the table and sat down next to Jude, who was attempting to hide a smirk.

"So, tell us, Eleanor, is it?" Mr. Carrigan started eventually.

Max snorted into his orange juice. While Ellie smiled at his father courteously, he knew she was screaming expletives in her mind.

"Yes, that's right."

"How'd you stumble across these three?"

"Well, I was already living in New York when Max and Jude came to our place, and it wasn't hard to befriend these two."

"So, you go to NYU?"

"...No, actually, I never been…to college," Ellie mumbled, cheeks flushing bright red. This definitely wasn't going to sit well with them.

"Hmm…"

"Her parents went to Harvard," Max offered up helpfully, and she shot him a grateful look, though she knew technically he was covering both their asses.

"Huh, how about that." was all his father said, and she was going to let it go, but of course Max had to say something.

"What?"

"Just didn't think her parents' would be Harvard graduates, that's all."

"Why not?"

His father glanced at him quizzically.

"Does it matter?"

"Are insinuating that people _like_ Ellie could never get into Harvard?"

Ellie kicked him underneath the table. She loved having him defend her, but this was not the way to win over his parents' blessing.

"No, son. Perhaps it was that bungled imagination of yours," Mr. Carrigan responded coldly, ending the subject.

"Or maybe you just have stick up your ass."

"These pancakes are _delicious_, Mom," Lucy cut in, desperately wanting avoid a fight.

"Why must you insist on being an arrogant fool every time you step into this house?"

"Excuse me for stating the obvious."

"You think you're so cool living in that squatter piece of shit, do you, snorting lines and wandering drunkenly all over New York? You think that's a _life_? How do you expect to find anyone who will fall in love with you?"

Max's eyes narrowed, and he snarled with a venom that a sergeant would to lowly privates. "I have found someone who loves me. She loves me more than you ever will. She also happens to be sitting across from me."

Ellie looked up from her comatose stare at her breakfast plate, looking between the two in horror. Max reached across the table and took her left hand, revealing the ring.

"We're engaged."

"Oh!" Mrs. Carrigan gasped, and she wasn't sure whether to be deliriously happy or terribly skeptical. Mr. Carrigan rolled his eyes and let his head drop into his hand.

"I was afraid of that…" he grumbled.

"Afraid of what?!" Max fumed, rising out of his char, empty plates lingering dangerously close to his trembling fingers.

"Can I say three words without you arguing with me?!"

"That's _enough_ out of both of you," Mrs. Carrigan interrupted firmly. "We are going to discuss this like civilized people, you understand?"

Neither of the pairs of icy, blue eyes softened, but Max did fall back into his chair. Jude put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off angrily.

"Now, Maxwell, you're…engaged?"

"Yeah."

"Well, isn't it a bit…em…early?"

"We've known each other for three years, that's long enough."

"Eleanor, would you mind stepping out for a moment so we can talk to our son?" Mr. Carrigan said kindly, but decisively. Ellie started to get out of her seat, but Max would have none of it. "Anything you say to me you can say to her." Mr. Carrigan glowered at his son, but didn't protest. Slowly, Ellie sat back in her chair and waited for the maelstrom.

"Now…are you sure you two are ready for this? Marriage is a big commitment, and you both are still so young."

"We're both 24 years old, Mom. You got married when you were 19."

Mrs. Carrigan blushed furiously. "Yes, well…times were different back then."

"Maxwell, this does not concern your mother's marriage, so leave it out of this. This concerns you. Are you sure you're ready for something like this?"

Max groaned in frustration. "_Yes, Yes_, how many times do I have to say it? We're ready, aren't we?" Ellie nodded. Mrs. Carrigan fumbled nervously with her own wedding ring and glanced at her eldest daughter as if she were her last resort.

Ironically, Jude slipped his hand under the table to clasp her own, and Lucy smiled calmly. "They're ready."

"Well…erm…how do you…how you do plan doing this then? Because…there's really no politically correct way of saying this, so I'm just going to say it. Negro and white couples are just…unheard of! And honey, it's going to be hard to find someone who will do it."

Max couldn't believe his mother had given in so easily. He figured it would've taken at least another twelve hours to break her, though he had the feeling his father wasn't completely sold on the idea yet.

"Mom, I know. Trust me, we know. But we'll figure it out. It'll be fine, we'll figure it out."

Mr. Carrigan snorted bitterly and shook his head. "I thought the war would have forced you to grow up a little. How could you be so naïve? Your mother is telling the truth. No one is going to marry you two!"

"Dad, don't think I don't realize that. But New York is filled with some crazy people, remember? There'll be someone." He turned to Ellie and looked her directly in the eye, saying this more to her than anyone else. "There _will_ be someone. I promise."

Max's mother and father exchanged doubtful glances, but sighed. Their son was obviously to stubborn to convince otherwise, so they could do nothing else but go along with him.

"Well…there's nothing we can do to stop you two. You seem like a very nice girl, Eleanor, so please, don't take anything we've said in offense."

"Thank you, Mrs. Carrigan," Ellie mumbled in response.

Mrs. Carrigan sighed and looked at her watch. "Well, I best go pick up a turkey from the grocery store. I'll be back in a bit." She got up from the table and kissed all three of her children on the top of the head before walking out the back door.

Once everyone had scattered from the dining table, the four friends met up in Lucy's bedroom, all of them tiredly giving Ellie a warm embrace. Max rested his chin on top of head, swaying her gently.

"You take too much shit from people, El," he said softly, kissing her forehead lightly.

Ellie couldn't help but scoff. "You think _your_ parents were bad? Just wait until you meet mine."

_In spite of all the danger,_

_In spite of all that may be,_

_I'll do anything for you._

_Anything you want me to,_

_if you'll be true to me._

_In spite of all the heartache _

_that you may cause me,_

_I'll do anything for you._

_Anything you want me to,_

_if you'll be true to me._

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**So, I hope Max was completely OOC in this chapter. I don't know why I felt he was, I just did :P.**

**Anyways, please review! I love reading all of them, glad you all are liking the story!**


	22. Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy

**Warning! Horrendously long chapter with a lot of plot twists! I didn't feel like splitting it into two chapters.**

**Oh yeah, there's a lot of set-up :P. Sorry, but it felt choppy to just jump to the seriously important parts.**

**And I know I'm hard on myself, but I don't consider this one of my best written chapters. But it is a very important one, definitely not a filler chapter.**

**--**

The four of them did switch rooms that night; none of them cared if they got caught any longer. They were all due to leave for Boston immediately after a quick Christmas breakfast with Max's family. Max had tiredly drifted off as soon as he hit his bed, but Ellie stayed awake, packing up her things. He had said to just throw everything in her suitcase the next morning, like he was planning, but it wouldn't have mattered. She couldn't sleep. The way the Carrigans had reacted would be considered miniscule compared to the way she predicted her own parents would react.

She stayed up all night, packing her and even Max's things as well. When she finished, she turned off the light and sat in the chair by the window, watching the falling snow in quiet delight, an exhausted smile coming to her lips.

Sometime around four, she heard a disturbance behind her, but didn't turn around. Soon enough, a pair of arms slid themselves around her neck, soft, blonde hair mixed gently with her loose waves.

"Hey," Max murmured, giving her temple a light kiss.

"Hey."

"Merry Christmas."

"Same to you. I'll…I'll be honest, your Christmas present never left the store. Or my mind, for that matter."

He chuckled softly. "That's okay. I don't want anything that you could buy in a store right now, babe. I did get you something, though. Well, sort of. It's kind of…stolen, but she won't mind."

Max left her momentarily and began to dig under his bed. Ellie turned and watched him in amusement as he rummaged in the dark. "She?" she questioned.

"Sadie," was his stifled response. Finally, he gave a sigh of satisfaction as his fingers wrapped around a gallon-sized plastic bag. He brought it over to her, sitting down on the cool, hardwood floor, his back against the wall.

"I don't know where the hell she gets this stuff…" he mumbled in awe as he dug through his pockets. "But lemme tell you, best weed in the whole fucking country." He pulled out a lighter, and a lopsided grin grew on his face.

Ellie pressed a hand to her mouth, but couldn't help smiling. "You've got to be kidding, there's no _way_ we can do this in here. Your parents will be running down the hall within five minutes!"

He scoffed. "Trust me, I've done plenty of things in this room that they still don't know about."

She raised a questioning eyebrow. "Oh, _really_? Care to enlighten me?"

He grinned sheepishly, sticking a freshly-rolled joint in his mouth. "That's for me to know…and preferably, not for you to find out."

Before she could respond, he put a joint in her hand. She looked at it hesitantly, then after giving her fiancé one last glance, she sighed in self-defeat and placed it in her mouth. After lighting his own, he got up to light Ellie's, then sat back down to enjoy his stolen, yet amazing stash of drugs.

She inhaled slowly, and released the smoke through her nostrils pleasurably. Max looked up at her expectantly, already on his fourth or fifth hit. "Well?"

She nodded in approval. "Not a traditional Christmas present, but it is wonderful, I'll give you that."

He shrugged. "Never said I was a romantic."

"You proposed to me in a diner full of people."

"Well, I guess if there was any romance in me then, it's gone now."

Ellie rolled her eyes as joined him on the floor. Setting her joint down on the picture frame Max was using as an ash tray, she scooted herself in between his legs. Pressing her forehead to his, she smirked before whispering "I think you're plenty romantic."

They shared a long kiss as Max pulled her closer to him, eventually laying her down so that he rested on top of her, blonde bangs tickling her face. He led a trail of kisses down her neck, loving the sweet, salty taste of her skin mixing with the hint of Sadie's weed still in his mouth. She bit back a moan that desperately wanted to escape her lips, her cheeks flushing as the room started to become uncomfortably warm.

Luckily, Max stopped for a moment and came back into her sight, smiling mischievously at her. "Shall we continue on the much more comfortable bed that is five feet from us?"

She grimaced. "Sex in your parent's house seems a bit…sick."

He groaned. "How many times do I have to tell you that my parents are completely and utterly oblivious to half the shit I do?"

She giggled. "Alright, alright. But make it fast, make it silent, and make it _good_."

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After an uncomfortable and mostly silent breakfast with the Carrigans, the siblings gave their parents a last goodbye. Then all four of them headed off swiftly to the airport, and after a short plane ride, landed in the equally chilly, but snow speckled Boston.

Instead of her father, Ellie's eldest brother Keelan waited for them in the family's upscale, black Lincoln Towncar. He grinned widely as the group walked out of the airport.

"Ellie!"

She looked up and returned the grin as she sped off to greet him. He hadn't been at Thanksgiving; he was on an assignment for his well-paying, but very demanding job, so she hadn't seen her brother in ages.

"Keelan!" she exclaimed before dropping her bag and embracing him in a tight, physical hug.

"Merry Christmas, sis."

"Same to you. How've you been?"

"Exhausted, but okay. You?"

"Wonderful. Hey, let me introduce my friends."

She released him and stood at his side as her friends stood awkwardly in front of him.

"This is Jude…"

Jude gave a polite nod, to which Keelan returned.

"Lucy…"

Lucy smiled and nodded also.

"and Max."

Max stuck out his hand, which Keelan shook hesitantly. "You're the boyfriend, right? The vet?"

Max glanced unexpectedly at his fiancé, who stared at her brother in disbelief. "How'd…how'd you know?"

"Anna."

Ellie rolled her eyes at her sister's inability to keep her mouth shut, and prayed that her parents did not overhear. After putting the luggage in the back of the car, the three guests piled into the backseat while Ellie sat up front, feeling uneasily disconnected from them.

The car ride started out uncomfortably silent, and before too long, the quiet began to nag at her mind.

"So…how's Mom and Dad?"

"Fine. They were a little ticked that you weren't coming until Christmas afternoon, but they'll get over it."

"Great. They're already pissed off," she mumbled underneath her breath. She was not as fearless as her betrothed, who had blatantly told his parents of their engagement, and the whole ordeal had tormented her mind for the past few hours or so.

As her line of vision passed over the rearview mirror, her eyes locked with Max's and they shared a small smile, to which her brother noticed.

"So, El, that's gorgeous ring you've got on your finger."

A hand instantly flew to her left ring finger, in a failed attempt to cover it up, but Keelan would have none of it.

"Let me guess, soldier boy's the lucky man. Or should I say unlucky?"

Ellie shot her brother a filthy look, glowering at his deliberate insensitivity. He merely shrugged.

"Not trying to sound like a jerk, El, just telling the truth. I would suggest taking that ring off your finger and keeping the entire thing quiet unless you want Dad to blow a gasket."

She was grateful that they were pulling into the Rigby's driveway, a reason to end this conversation. They all got out, and Keelan went to pop the truck. As he and Jude handled the luggage, Ellie quietly slipped her ring off her finger. Unfortunately, Max was right behind her and when they met eyes, he looked a little more than pissed off.

"I'm sorry, I just want us to get settled first before we say anything about it, okay?" she assured him. He sighed, but nodded. As they walked towards the door, she slipped an arm through his and Jude's, creating a chain as the four friends walked anxiously to Ellie's front door.

Her mother answered, and smiled warmly at her daughter.

"Eleanor, how wonderful to see you. We've missed you," she said before embracing her.

"You saw me not even a month ago, Mom," she couldn't help point out.

"Doesn't mean we haven't missed you, honey."

Ellie suppressed the urge to roll her eyes, and turned to her friends.

"Mom, I want to you meet my friends. Jude, Lucy, and Max." Her mother shook all of their hands politely and allowed them inside.

"The kitchen is to your right, please help yourself to anything you want. The living room is to your left. You'll all be sleeping upstairs in Eleanor's room. I did put some mattresses up there, so I hope it's not a problem," Mrs. Rigby babbled. Ellie couldn't help smiling a little. Her mother always talked incessantly when she was nervous.

"Oh, we'd be fine if we were sleeping on the floor, 'cause we've slept on worse things than that," Max cracked, flashing Mrs. Rigby a grin.

"Excuse me?"

"_Nothing_! So, where's Dad, Mom?" Ellie interrupted smoothly.

"He went to pick up your Christmas present. He should be home in a bit. Why don't you show your friends your room?"

She hurriedly obliged and took all of them up to her room. After shutting the door behind them, she collapsed onto her bed. Her boyfriend followed suit, as did Jude and Lucy, with Ellie emitting a stifled yelp as she felt the weight of three people on top of her.

"So, I think since it's El's room, she should get to sleep in her own bed," mentioned Jude somewhere above her.

"Then I call bunking with her," Max said almost instantaneously. The other young couple groaned.

"I don't know about you, love, but I _definitely_ do not want to hear them knocking off."

"I'll bunk with Lucy, you two can sleep on the floor," Ellie said, ending the argument.

"_Fine_," her fiancé grumbled before the brilliant idea of tickling her crossed his mind. She squirmed violently, releasing peals of laughter and causing the three above her to fall to the floor with a loud thud.

"Eleanor! What's going on up there?" shouted her mother quizzically from the floor below.

"N-nothing, nothing!"

"Your father's home. Why don't you come down and say hello?"

The four immediately got to their feet. Max, as he smoothed down his messy mop, turned to Ellie.

"Your mom doesn't seem too bad, El."

She snorted bitterly. "Don't count on my father being the same way."

The group headed down the stairs. Her father stood at the foot of the staircase, a white box tucked underneath his arm. She smiled warmly at Mr. Rigby.

"Merry Christmas, Dad," she said before embracing him in a tight hug. He let her go and handed her the little white box.

"This is for you."

Ellie opened it slowly and gasped when she looked inside. A simple, but dazzling diamond necklace stared back at her.

"Dad…it's beautiful. You shouldn't have!" she said, but her father only smiled. She hugged him again. "Thank you, I love it!" Over his daughter's shoulder, he looked at the three companions watching their gift-giving awkwardly. "Honey, who are these people?"

"Oh…lordy, excuse my discourtesy," she mumbled as she stepped to the side.

"Jude." He had his hands dug deep into his pockets, so he only gave Mr. Rigby a little nod.

"Hi, I'm Lucy." She, being the best at presenting herself out of the three of them, smiled and offered her hand. He shook it hesitantly.

"Max." He also offered his hand, and Ellie swore it was that instant that her father knew something was going on between them. He shook Max's hand and nodded politely, but his dark, unforgiving eyes were full of suspicion.

"Well, dinner's almost ready…"said Mrs. Rigby and they followed her into the dining room. As they did, Max slyly reached behind his back to grasp Ellie's hand and gave it a light squeeze. Once they were in the dining room, she greeted her other siblings and quickly introduced them to her friends.

Dinner went by slowly, but safely. Ellie thanked God Max kept his wild antics to a minimum, and that he didn't reveal much of his...interesting past. He cleverly hinted that he was a war veteran, which seemed to impress at least Mrs. Rigby. Mr. Rigby nodded in approval, but the way he kept looking at his daughter and her lover made Ellie's stomach churn.

After dinner, when they all congregated in the living room, started off much better. Max was surprisingly the one who loosened the Rigby family up, all of them intrigued by his strange, but irresistible charm. They chatted animatedly for the next couple hours, laughing and listening.

At one point, Mrs. Rigby turned to her daughter. "Why don't you go upstairs and get the mattresses set up?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Mom, it's 9:30, we're not going to bed yet!"

"Honey, you aren't going to want to do it when you do go to bed, which I have the feeling will be awfully late."

"Alright…" Suddenly, a brilliant idea crossed her mind. "Hey, Max? Can you give me a hand?"

He knew perfectly well she could handle the mattresses by herself, but he luckily caught on to her intentions. "Sure."

The two of them dashed up the steps. Once the door to her room was safely shut behind them, Max pulled her close.

"Good idea," he muttered as he began to gently kiss her neck.

"Well, you delighting my family kind of turned me on." He chuckled as he pulled away from her neck, putting his forehead to hers.

"So, you think they like me?"

"They love you," she whispered before firmly pressing his lips to his. Though it felt wonderful at the time, she wished she hadn't. Even as she was leading him away from the living room, a little voice in her head warned her not to risk it. But she just had to, she hadn't kissed her own damn boyfriend in almost 24 hours, and it was driving her insane.

Which is why she cursed her temptations as the door to her bedroom swung open, and there stood her mother, a hand pressed to her mouth and her eyes wide.

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"So…explain to me again. We invite you into our home, we give you a place to sleep, we allow you to join our Christmas celebration, and then we find you necking with our daughter?!"

Mr. Rigby's shouts echoed throughout the house as he yelled at Max. The four friends were still remained on the couch, except now Max and Ellie had been forced onto the couch right next to each other while Lucy and Jude sat uncomfortably on the ends.

"So what are your intentions, hmm? One of them was obviously knocking her up, but are you just craving a quickie and you couldn't contain yourself or is something more than that?"

"Dad!"

"You stay out of this, Eleanor. Boy, if I ever see you touching my daughter again-"

"We're engaged!"

Her family gaped at her in disbelief. Mr. Rigby almost dropped his glass of wine.

"What?" he questioned incredulously, his voice barely above a whisper.

Just like Max had done for her, she placed a hand over his and held it tightly, revealing her ring.

"No…no, this is _not_ going to happen."

"Why not? I love him, he loves me," she stated calmly.

"Oh, I'm sure he loves you, look at that cheap piece of shit on your finger!"

"So what? My love is not defined by a piece of jewelry. Apparently yours is," she spat as she fingered her new diamond necklace.

Mrs. Rigby glared at her daughter. "That is quite enough, Eleanor. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with your father." Ellie gawked at her mother dubiously. She was for sure that her mother would side with her.

"What? Mom, I…why?"

"Because it's impractical. No one will marry you two. Now…you both are still very young. You can settle down with nicely with someone of your own race just fine."

She grinned ruefully and shook her head in disbelief, wondering when either one of her parents were going to play the race card. "I can't believe you, telling me who I can and can't marry. I am 24 years old, for God's sake."

"You still have a lot to learn, and one of them is that you can expect Mr. Suave over there to dump you for a white girl once he gets bored with knocking you up!"

Max was definitely getting pissed now, but he knew speaking out would not make the situation any better. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut, wishing it was the end of the week and all of them could go back to New York and not worry about her ridiculous parents.

The phone rang, and her brother got up to answer it. The rest of them sat in stony silence as her father glared at her from across the room. Jude put a comforting hand on her back and began to rub circles.

Keelan returned, looking a bit confused. "It's for…Max. It's your landlady, Sadie, is it? She says it's important."

Max looked up quizzically and scuffled off into the hallway. Her father's dark eyes followed him out, then turned back to his daughter.

"I'm going to tell you right here and now, that you are _not_ going to marry that boy."

"And what if I do?" she replied defiantly, looking at him with tired, but fiery eyes. "What can you do about it? You don't control me anymore."

"Don't expect _us_ to help, support, or go to any wedding that involves him."

"Fine…if I have to lose you to do it, so be it. If you can't accept it, then don't bother being in my life anymore."

"Ellie," Jude said softly, touching her arm, but she shook it off angrily.

"You would give up your family just to be with him?" asked her infuriated father.

She paused, but slowly began to nod. "Yes…I would. Because I'm not so sure whether you're really my family anymore…yes…yes, I would."

Her mother glanced worriedly down into her glass of wine while her father stared at her in enraged disbelief. Mr. Rigby sat back down in his chair and didn't say another word.

"El…"

Ellie turned as Max reentered the room. His eyes were wide, fearful and rimmed red. He ran a trembling hand through his hair, something he always did when something was wrong. Her mind bitterly wondered what the hell could make this situation worse.

"El…I…I have to get reenlisted."

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Her heart stopped. Her swimming mind prayed that she had heard him incorrectly.

"Sadie just got the letter today…my reenlistment is in two weeks."

So, it was true. Right after she thought she could finally forget about the war, they were being thrown back into it.

"I…fuck," he mumbled before shaking his head and disappearing up the stairs. She let out a shaky sigh and fell back onto the couch between her friends. Lucy was already biting back tears, Jude had his head in his hands, but Ellie was just shell-shocked. No tears formed in her eyes, no words came out of her mouth. She just _couldn't_ believe it. Now. Just as the two of them were ready to get married this had to come along.

Her mother glanced uneasily at the three of them, not sure what to do in this situation. Her father was still glowering at her, but his expression had softened tremendously. Finally, Mrs. Rigby pulled herself from her chair and began to walk away. However, she stopped over her husband, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's give them some time alone, Robert." Mr. Rigby, not looking at his daughter, eventually nodded and followed his wife into the kitchen, shutting the large, French doors behind them.

Lucy gave a choked sob and dropped her head into hands, blonde locks sticking to her tear-slicked face. Ellie got up from the couch slowly and made her way up the steps, her two friends following behind. Before she made it into her room, Jude caught her arm.

"Let him be for now, El. Just let him be." She reluctantly obliged and the three of them sat at the end of the staircase, confused, troubled, and not sure what to do.

"I am not sending him back there. Not again," Ellie said, breaking the silence. "I don't how I'm going to do it, but he is _not_ going back."

Neither of them responded, so she continued.

"Maybe…maybe he's not mentally stable enough to go. I mean, he still has his bad days, right?"

"They'll take anyone if they can run for long distances and shoot a gun," Jude replied bitterly.

"…well, maybe he can beat the system. Didn't JoJo say something once about eating beats the night before the physical?"

"Those don't work anymore," Lucy said quietly. "The government figured out all the loop holes."

"Well, there's got to be _something_ we can do!" she exclaimed desperately.

"You know we can't do anything, love."

"But…I can't…_lose_ him!" she trailed off, her trembling words changing into choked sobs. Jude moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her as she wept into his shoulder, giving her a light kiss on the forehead. She soon felt another pair of arms embrace her, sun-drenched tresses mixing with her own. While her tears eventually subsided, the three of them stayed in each other's tight hold for what seemed like hours. Finally, they released her. Ellie wiped her face and mustered a sad smile, to which they returned.

When they cautiously entered her room, it was dark. The faint moonlight through the window gave off only a little light, but it was enough to tell that Max, though his eyelids were shut, was obviously not sleeping. Ellie remained silent as she slid into her bed. She slipped her head underneath his arm, resting it in the crook of his neck and placing a hand on his heart. She shut her eyes, a slight smile coming to her lips as she felt his own brush against her forehead and his head rest against her own. It wasn't long before the other two joined them. Lucy laid her head on Max's chest, hair splaying out over his abdomen. Jude came behind her and draped an arm around her waist. He reached over Max to interlock fingers with Ellie, and Max let his own fingers tangle themselves in his sister's silky locks.

And so, the four of them eventually fell into a distressed slumber, feeling totally alone but surrounded by loved ones at the same time.

--

**Thank you for reading all of that, I know it was super long.**

**Please review.**


	23. Fixing a Hole

**Sorry. I know it's been forever, I just needed to figure some things out.**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!**

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"Can you believe her? I mean, what can we do to stop this, Clara?"

"…I don't think we can," Mrs. Rigby replied quietly, causing her to receive an incredulous glance from her husband.

"I don't agree with this either, honey…but she loves him. And we will lose her if we don't at least accept it."

Mr. Rigby leaned against the kitchen counter, taking a healthy gulp of wine before setting his glass on the table. "I don't want her to get hurt. I don't trust that boy." His wife placed a gentle hand on his cheek.

"I know you don't, I'm not sure I do either. But if it's a risk she wants to take, let her take it. She needs to start making her own decisions."

"Believe me, she already does and has been."

"That's a _good_ thing, Robert. And I'm not going to lose her because I didn't let her think for herself."

"And now this with him leaving for Vietnam again? Wouldn't be surprised if he comes back hitched with a nurse…" he grumbled.

"You won't change her mind, you know you won't. It's time we just accepted it."

Mr. Rigby paused, but still shook his head. "No…there are too many things wrong in that relationship, and she's going to wind up hurt and alone. I'm not going to accept it, and that's final." His wife opened her mouth to protest, but closed it when she realized she wouldn't change his mind any more than she would change Ellie's. She sighed, gave her husband a kiss on the cheek, and headed upstairs. Wanting to talk to her daughter, she knocked softly on Ellie's bedroom door. When there was no answer and seeing it was dark, she opened it and walked in quietly.

Sure enough, there was her daughter, sleeping peacefully against her betrothed, her fingers entangled with the Brit's across his chest. She noticed no blanket covered them and that all of them were shivering. Mrs. Rigby picked the blanket off the floor and laid it over the four of them. Finally, instead of waking Ellie, she gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and left the bedroom.

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The rest of the week went by without any major blowups from Mr. Rigby. He said little, only speaking when directly spoken to. Ellie, despite her defiance, couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt, starting to wonder if her marriage was going to kill him. When she found her mother alone one afternoon, she felt the need to figure things out.

"Mom, am I going to lose Dad because of this?" she asked quietly, running a hand through her hair. Mrs. Rigby looked at her wearily and sighed.

"I don't know, honey. Convincing your father is about as difficult as convincing you." Ellie's lips curved upward in a rueful smile before sitting down next to her mother. Neither of them said anything for a while. Finally, Mrs. Rigby slipped her hand into her daughter's.

"Do you love him?" she started, and Ellie suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at this ridiculously obvious question, to which her mother noticed. "I know it seems rather apparent, but seriously, do you love him?"

"Yes," she answered with a hint of annoyance. Mrs. Rigby only smiled a little and kissed her forehead.

"That's all that matters, then. I'm not saying I like the idea…but you're a smart girl, and I trust you to make good decisions."

"I can't guarantee your father will be the same, I'm afraid. That's something you two are going to have to battle out yourselves," she continued, and Ellie nodded. Mrs. Rigby gave her hand one last squeeze.

"Now forget about all this for right now, and go be with your friends."

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"Home…finally," Jude sighed as the four stumbled into the apartment three days later. The flight home had been unadventurous but long nonetheless. When they eventually arrived back in the city, it was at least 3 in the morning.

As they tiredly peeled off layers of clothing, they noticed a very hung-over Prudence lying sprawled on their couch, giving a grunt at this disturbance.

"Whoss'ere?" she mumbled, sitting up a little and brushing her cascade of black hair out of her eyes.

"Just us, Pru," Max said, giving her head a ruffle, to which Prudence gave a delayed attempt to swat his hand away. He turned his back to her and looked at his sister, mouthing "How'd she get in here?" She shrugged indifferently.

"Oh…Sadie's got a letter for you, Max."

"Yeah, I heard," he grumbled. He shook his head and stalked into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Prudence scowled.

"What's _his_ problem?"

The other three exchanged uncomfortable glances, then Jude finally said "Nothing…just a bit tired from the trip." She shrugged, then pushed her little body out of the couch.

"I'm going back to my real apartment now…welcome back," she announced before giving the three of them a kiss on the cheek and disappearing out the door. Ellie sighed and looked at Max's bedroom door in dismay. Jude gave her a kiss on the side of her head, then pushed her towards the door.

"Talk to him, El."

She hesitated, but eventually nodded and tapped lightly on his door before opening it. He was sitting on his bed, suitcase splayed open next to him, legs crossed and staring out the window. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"What's this? Max Carrigan thinking?" she said with a smirk. He didn't respond, but she saw a trace of a grin creep onto his face. She slid over next to him and took both his hands in hers, squeezing them gently.

"Hey…it's my job to worry about things, alright? Now, let's go out for the night and forget about this."

"It's four in the morning, El."

"Since when did you care?"

This time, he genially chuckled. "Good point." Gripping his hands, she pulled herself closer to him.

"And uh…I was thinking we could uh…you know…hit the sheets when we get back?"

He snorted at her strange analogy for sex. "I like your thinking…possibly because I think I'm starting to rub off you."

"Mmm, not completely. I'm not planning on hitting any golf balls of my roof or spreading sexually transmitted diseases throughout the East Village."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't have dared shaving my beautiful moustache while I was asleep until you met me."

"Fair enough."

He shut his eyes wearily and rested his head on her shoulder. Ellie let her cheek fall against his head and sighed. She had the feeling she hadn't reassured him in the slightest, but she didn't know what to say. Telling him 'we'll figure this out' or 'it's going to be fine' would cause him to flare up at her. And she knew that if three things could cheer him up, it would be booze, weed, and sex.

A muffled groan echoed through the thin walls, and Max gave an exasperated huff. He pulled himself away from her and got off the bed. After he stretched a little, he looked at her in irritation.

"Are the lovebirds coming with us?"

"I was planning on inviting them, yes."

He offered his hand. "Well, let's go before the bastard starts having his way with my sister again."

--

**Yeah, I know it was short. But it's been a while since I've updated, and I wanted to get it out of the way.**

**Reviews are lovely, as always.**


	24. Act Naturally

**The next few chapters are going to be an overhaul of different emotions. **

**I didn't feel like writing a straight angst chapters or a straight funny chapters, so I kind of mixed two.**

**Sorry if you feel emotionally exhausted at the end of all this. XD**

**--**

The next day, Ellie lay on the couch in her old apartment, legs sprawled out in strange directions and bored out of her mind. She had taken two weeks off from her job for her Christmas trips, and still had a few days off. She knew that by the time Monday rolled around she would miss this freedom of doing nothing, but at the moment, it was slowly driving her insane.

Max, who had also taken two weeks off from his taxi-ing, appeared in the kitchen doorframe, a beer in his hand. Ellie shot him an incredulous glance.

"Maxwell Carrigan, it is four in the afternoon and you've had three beers today already. Normally, I wouldn't give a shit, but you were so smashed last night, it took me, Luce, _and_ Jude to carry you home. Take it easy, will you?"

He slowly downed the rest of the bottle then beamed at her. Jude came behind him, seconds later, a fresh beer in his hand also. She deadpanned at him dubiously.

"I didn't get as sloshed as him," he said defiantly after taking a swig. She shook her head in exasperation.

"You two…"

"Don't worry, El," Max said as he walked over to her and sat on her feet, "Only eighty some more years? One of out of the three of us will be dead by then, I'm sure. If it's not disease or a heart attack, the bad sex'll do it." His fiancé gave him a hearty kick.

"Are you insinuating we don't have good sex?"

He burst into peals of laughter, falling onto the back of the couch. "_No_…no,no,no…the sex we have now is fucking _amazing_…I just meant when we're old and wrinkly and the foreplay lasts five days…"

"As enjoyable as it is to hear about your sex lives, can we move on?" grumbled Jude, squeezing his eyes shut in disgust.

Ellie obliged. "So, we're living with Jude the rest of our lives? Nothing against you, I love you to death, but…"

"Well, she _is _my sister…" Max trailed off, giving her a suggestive look. She turned to Jude, who was trying to hide a bashful grin and failing miserably.

"You're proposing?" she asked, her smile growing larger by the minute.

"I'm not sure yet, but-"

"Oh, _bullshit_, you're going to do it…well, at least when you grow some balls," interrupted Max, receiving a death glare from his best friend.

"Two married couples under one roof? Sounds dangerous," warned Ellie.

"She hasn't said yes yet, love."

"Like we're going to have to worry about that. _Max, isn't Jude amazing! Max, can you believe he came back! Max, I love him so much even though he has the tiniest dick I've ever seen-"_

"SHOVE IT," Jude snarled but he was grinning from ear to ear. He gave his mate a push that sent him toppling onto Ellie, causing her to yelp in pain.

Sadie sauntered into the room, wrapped in her favorite silk bathrobe and hair crazy as ever. She took a drag from her cigarette, releasing the smoke slowly through her nostrils, then glanced at them quizzically.

"The hell's going on in here? Don't you have jobs to be going to?"

"Nope. And it's fucking wonderful," replied Max, sitting himself up on Ellie's stomach and giving Sadie a small, satisfied smirk. She shrugged.

"I'm ordering in tonight from Katz's. You want anything?"

Ellie groaned and looked wistfully at the piles of old take-out boxes by the door. "I think if I eat diner food one more time, I'm going to be sick."

Max dug through his pockets and pulled out a couple twenties. "Get me and Luce a burger and fries." Sadie took the money and began to walk off. Max looked down at his girlfriend, then whispered loudly "Get El a chicken club." She nodded and went into the kitchen to order.

"_Max…_" Ellie moaned.

"I don't care what you say; you will eat the greasy, disgusting diner food, you understand me?"

"Fine…only because it's easier to give in than argue with you."

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"Ellie…Ellie!...Please, love, wake up."

Ellie was awakened from her peaceful slumber by Jude shaking her arm frantically at 2:30 the next morning. There was a worry sparkling in his brown eyes that scared her to pieces. She sat up and tried to wake herself up as quickly as possible.

"What? What is it?"

"It's Max, he's having a nightmare…god, he's lost his head."

A horrible, heart-wrenching scream echoed throughout the small apartment. She leaped out of bed and ran into the living room, with Jude following behind her. Max had had another heavy night of drinking, as did the rest of them. While the other three had managed to stumble into their rooms, Max had settled with the living room couch. Ellie hadn't minded, but now she was cursing her stupidity of letting him do so. She couldn't believe she hadn't heard his screams, and her stomach churned in guilt.

Lucy sat on the couch with her brother's head in her lap, brushing the hair out of his face and trying desperately to wake him up. His face was contorted into a one of horror, and though his eyes remained shut, they flickered rapidly underneath his eyelids. He writhed violently in his sister's arms, grasping at something unknown to his three distressed friends.

"Max…_Max_, wake up, wake up," Lucy begged as she shook him gently, getting more forceful as she remained unsuccessful. Ellie knelt down beside the couch and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to stop his incessant trembling.

Finally, much to their relief, his eyes flew open, burning with terror at first but softening when he realized his surroundings. His heart slowed to a normal pace, and shaking his head a little, his eyes shut wearily, if not painfully.

"Max?" said Ellie cautiously. He brought his hands to his face, digging his palms into his eyes. Lucy placed a cool hand on his forehead. "Are-are you alright?" She knew it was such a stupid question to ask; he was obviously _not_ alright, but what else could she say?

"Just…go…will you? Please, just go," he mumbled eventually. The three exchanged hesitant glances, thinking it was not in his best interest to leave him alone. But Max moved his hands and glared at all of them.

"_Go_," he said vehemently. Ellie sighed, gave his forehead a kiss, then shuffled back to her bedroom, keeping the door partly open behind her. She collapsed onto her bed, pulling the covers tightly around her body. She tried to go back to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, a vivid image of Max's twisted features haunted her mind. She felt if she finally did drift off, she would have nightmares of her own, which certainly would add another burden to the shoulders of her friends. So, closing her eyes only when she saw Lucy peek in to check on her, she kept her sight fixed on the windows, watching light slowly fill the room until morning came.

Getting out of bed around 8:00 AM, she found her way into their little kitchenette, discovering Max sitting at the table, the paper in his hands. With deep violet circles under his eyes, his hair a disheveled mess, and his face not yet shaven, he looked awful. However, when he noticed her presence, he smiled warmly at her.

"You're up early," he said, in an almost cheerful tone that confused the hell out of Ellie. She was starting to wonder if the morning's incident was all in her head. Seeing two filled coffee mugs on the table, she took one of them, wrapping her chilled fingers around it tightly.

"So are you," she replied eventually as she brought the mug to her lips. "Why?"

"Going back to work early." His response made her bring the cup down from her mouth and stare at him in suspicion. She knew last night had probably screwed with his head, but even this was completely out of character.

"Are you lying to me?"

He glanced at her sideways. "No…"

"You're going back to work…early."

"Yeah."

"As in, you could have the rest of the week off, but you _want_ to go to work."

"Yes…"

Pausing one last time, she decided to let it go, shrugging a little. "Okay, whatever." She took a sip from her mug, but sputtered as she managed to swallow the horribly bitter liquid.

"What the hell is in this coffee?" she asked irritably.

"Oh, must taken mine by accident. I added a little Jacky D to it," he said, taking the mug from her hands and giving her the other one.

"You put Jack Daniels in your coffee?!" she inquired incredulously. A small, yet devious grin spread on his face.

"Great things can always be improved, can't they?" She closed her eyes and shook her head in exasperation.

"Max, it's eight in the morning…"

"I know, and my shift starts at nine, so I better head out," he said, finishing the rest of his coffee in one smooth gulp. He left the mug on the table and got up, getting his coat and throwing Jude's old cap over his head. He gave her a kiss and a lopsided grin before heading out the door.

Ellie slowly lowered herself into the chair, staring into her own cup of coffee thoughtfully. Lucy came from her bedroom not much longer, bundled up in Max's old blue bathrobe.

"Hey," she greeted Ellie before going to the cupboards.

"Hey…so, did you get any sleep last night?"

She shot her a sad smile. "Not really. You?"

"Not at all."

"Where is he anyway?" Lucy inquired, pulling out a box of Kix and starting to pour herself a bowl.

"Working."

"I thought he took the week off-"

"He did. He _wanted_ to go back." Lucy gaped at her in disbelief, to which Ellie nodded in agreement. She turned back to her cereal.

"If there's one thing I can predict in Max, it's that he'll do anything to get out of work…at least, I thought. You want any cereal?"

"No, I'm fine…and when I took a sip of his coffee, he had good deal of booze in it."

"Nothing strange about that," Lucy replied as she sat down at the kitchen table, munching on her cereal contentedly.

"Yeah, but at eight in the morning?"

"Good point."

Ellie sighed and finished her coffee. Her head was telling her not to worry too much about Max. After all, they were a bit behind on rent money, so maybe he just wanted to get a head's start. And one thing Max always loves is his alcohol. But she had a strong gut feeling that there were things Max wasn't telling her, and maybe there were problems that were a bigger issue than she had planned on.

--

**Please review and sorry for the long wait!**


	25. The Fool on the Hill

"Another drink, Max

Later that day, Ellie found herself bored again, but her fiancé wasn't around to keep her company. So she twirled her way into the kitchen, absently spinning on her toes and flinging her arms out. When she saw Jude bent over the kitchen stove, making a pot of tea, she was not surprised at the bemused look he gave her.

"I'm bored, Judey," she said dramatically, throwing her arms around his shoulders and leaning on him heavily. He gave a huff, but chuckled a little bit.

"You sound an awful lot like a particular shaggy-headed bloke I know. He was right; he's starting to rub off on you." She let go of him, much to his relief, and propped her self up onto the counter.

"Don't you go back to work tomorrow?" he inquired. She gave a loud sigh and began to nod. "Yeah, I do. Ah well, it had to end sometime."

"I thought you were dying for something to do."

"I am…but that doesn't include waiting on the hand and foot of impatient tourists."

Suddenly, the apartment door flew open followed by a frustrated "FUCK." Ellie couldn't help but feel a grin tugging at her lips.

"Look who's home."

Sure enough, Max came stomping into the kitchen, throwing his cap irritably off to the side and shrugging his coat off. He shook his head, trying to get the wet, sticky snowflakes out of his hair. Jude turned and crossed his arms, giving his best friend a small smirk.

"I see you're glad you went back early."

"That…that was the worst fucking day of work I've ever had." he said, gesturing wildly and eyes growing wide. "I drove some asshole all over the fucking city and then when we finally came to his stop, he jumped out and didn't give me one fucking cent! And does the cab company do anything about it? Jesus…"

Ellie nodded sympathetically, but internally, she was suppressing giggles. She knew she shouldn't be laughing; Max looked pretty pissed, but part of her was relieved that he had gone somewhat back to normal, or so she thought. She pushed herself off the counter and walked over to him.

"Does Maxwell need a hug?" she said in a childlike tone, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He loosely wrapped his arms around her waist for a second, but released her not long afterward. It was clear his mind was elsewhere.

"Actually, I could use a beer," he said, going over the kitchen and pulling out a bottle. He fell into one of the chairs, resting his legs against the edge of the table, gulping the liquid down eagerly.

"Easy there, mate. The night's still young," Jude said, pouring himself and Ellie a cup of tea and sitting down next to his best friend. "You going to Sadie's gig tonight?"

"Hell yes, and I'm going to get wasted…like really _fucking_ wasted."

"Like you don't already," Ellie noted from her resumed perch on the counter. "Looks like I'll be dragging your ass to bed again.. I'm not leaving you alone this time."

"Fine, whatever, where's Lucy?" he asked, glancing around the room.

"Working. She's meeting us at the café."

He nodded at this response and took another long sip as Ellie watched him intently. Something was off about him. She wasn't sure what it was, maybe it was his bad day at work, but he hadn't smiled once since he had arrived home, something not usual for him.

Jude noticed her worried expression. "Everything alright, love?"

"Yeah…" she responded vaguely, not taking her eyes off Max. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Jude peeked at the clock. "Well, we'd better head off if we want a booth." He got up from his seat and put his mug in the sink, already overflowing with dirty dishes. He and Ellie got their coats, slipping them on and bundling up.

Walking over to Max, she held his coat out in front of him. Still being seated at the table and staring off into space, she coughed to get his attention. He snapped out of whatever trance he was in, shaking his head, and took his coat.

"Are you okay?" she asked, pulling him aside before they headed out the door.

"Yeah, I'm good," he replied, giving her a bit of a smile and sharing a quick kiss before turning out the lights and leaving for the night.

Ellie wanted to believe him, but it was obvious he was lying to her.

000000000000

"Good show, everyone, good show," Sadie said as she clinked glasses with JoJo and her fellow band mates. One of them sighed loudly as he took a drink.

"Are we ever going to get out of New York?" he grumbled.

"It ain't gonna be any easier anywhere else than it is here, man," JoJo replied. "We should appreciate what we got."

"Jo's right," Sadie added. "But I feel ya, honey. I feel ya. At this point, we might just have to wait for God to send a willing music producer our way."

The group had gone to Katz's after the show, stopping in for a quick dinner before the party at Sadie's.

Ellie twirled her salad around her fork and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Tomorrow, I'm going to the store, get some groceries, and I'm going to _cook_."

"Oh, shit…" Max groaned. Jude raised his eyebrows questioningly at her. She looked between the two innocently, taking a bite of her salad.

"What? You don't think I can cook?"

"Remember that time you tried making a Christmas turkey?" Max reminded her. "God only knows how the apartment didn't burn down."

"I did not _burn down_ the apartment, thank you very much. Everything was completely under control."

"Actually, El, it kinda wasn't," Prudence said. "It smelled like burnt meat and stuffing in there for _weeks_." As Jude and Max nodded vigorously, Ellie scowled at their lack of belief in her cooking skills.

"It smelled fine to me…"she muttered, but she went back to her salad. Lucy sighed and rested her head against her boyfriend's shoulder wearily. He looked down at her.

"You okay, love?" he asked with concern. She opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. A bit tired, but I had a full shift today. No breaks."

"So, Max, are you alright, man?" inquired Sadie's drummer, Rocky. "You've got your reenlistment tomorrow, right?"

He shrugged with false indifference. "Yeah, that's right."

"This is round two for you?" said Sadie's bassist incredulously. "Shit, that's brutal…"

"Well, I'm going to have to think of something else besides cotton balls this time. The limey bastard over there said it would get me out of it the first time," he said, giving Jude a kick underneath the table. Jude was a bit afraid his best friend was truthfully angry at him, but when he saw the familiar grin twitching at his lips, he chuckled nervously.

"It worked for me mate in Liverpool, ya git," he replied. "Can't blame me for not knowing the Yank regulations."

"Let's forget about tomorrow and have fun tonight," Sadie cut in promptly, knowing this conversation would put all of them in a bad mood. Max already seemed to be in one, but that was nothing a little vodka couldn't handle. It had killed her to make that phone call to him; after going through all that shit and finally starting to become himself again, he was being forced right back into it.

She knew he, Lucy, Jude, and Ellie loved the rest of gang deeply, but the four of them were pretty much inseparable these days. Without Max there, the group seemed to be thrown into disarray and she could almost sense the impeding drama. So, she would do everything she could to keep her little family together for as long as possible.

JoJo glanced at the clock. "We'd better head out anyway, before them crazies break down the door."

All of them pulled out cash to pay for their meals and tips, then got up and headed out into the cold January evening. As the friends slowly drifted to their respective couples, Ellie found Max lagging behind the group, attempting to light a cigarette. Wrapping her scarf tightly around her neck, she waited for him. When he finally got it lit, he gave her a small smile, put an arm around her waist, and the couple headed back to the apartment.

00000000

A good three or four hours later, Lucy woke up in her own bed, Jude zonked out next to her. She had no idea how she gotten here. She figured Ellie or one of the boys must have helped or carried her in. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, thinking it would be best to get as much sleep as she could before her shift later that morning, but once she was awake, she couldn't get back to sleep. She got out of bed and padded into the living room, smiling when she saw Ellie curled up comfortably on the couch.

She noticed a dark shadow behind her, outside on their stoop. Quietly tiptoeing to the outside door, she opened it and found Max sitting on the fire escape steps. Not wanting for him to know she was there just yet, she carefully shut the door behind her. He was mumbling something, and as she listened closer, she realized he was singing.

He wasn't singing very loud, but the underlying tone of misery was apparent in his smoky baritone.

_Day after day alone on the hill,_

_The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still,_

_But nobody wants to know him,_

_They can see that he's just a fool,_

_And he never gives an answer,_

_But the fool on the hill_

_Sees the sun going down, _

_and the eyes in his head_

_see the world spinning around_

_Well on his way his head in a cloud_

_The man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud_

_But nobody ever hears him_

_Or the sound he appears to make_

_And he never seems to notice,_

_But the fool on the hill…_

_Nobody seems to like him_

_They can tell what he wants to do_

_And he never shows his feelings_

_The fool on the hill…_

He sighed as he finished, taking a drag from the cigarette hanging loosely between his fingers. Lucy's heart sank. God, he was miserable. He was starting to act just like he did the first time; only this time it was worse since he knew what was in store for him. He had good reason to be, and he was trying to shrug it off.

She wished he would open up to her. Despite the horrible nightmares that never truly seemed to go away, he hadn't told anybody what really happened over there. There had been many attempts from all of them, but every time he would just shake his head and change the subject. She knew it hurt, but she also knew that those wounds were not going to just go away as he was hoping they would.

Lucy hadn't realized that as she was thinking, Max had noticed her presence and was repeatedly calling her name to get her attention. She heard him eventually, blinking out of her thoughts and turning to him. He offered up a small grin.

"My keen sense of the female mind tells me that you are troubled," he said, patting the space next to him on the step.

"Nice work," she replied sarcastically as she sat down next to him. He threw his cigarette, stomping with his shoe before slinging his arm across his sister's shoulders.

"What's wrong, Luce? Shitty days at work? Jude being a bum in the bedroom?"

"Well, yes to the shitty days at work and no to Jude, but honestly, I'm more worried about you."

"Why? I'm fine."

There was no way she was going to give up that easy. "No, you're not, and you have every reason not to be. Please, let me help you. Let Ellie or Jude help you. Let _any_ of us help you."

"That's not for you or them to worry about. I'm _fine_. Really, okay?" Lucy groaned and looked at him directly in the eye, hoping she could make her point perfectly clear to him.

"Max, I'm not ten years old anymore; you can't just say that and expect me to believe you." He broke their gaze, turning away from her ever so slightly. She continued, knowing what she was about to say would at least keep his attention. "Ellie's been worrying about you since that letter-"

"Is that why she's nagging the hell out of me?" he cut in, and to her surprise, he wasn't laughing.

"I don't know, but she'd stop if you'd tell us what was wrong." His lips curved upward and he shook his head ruefully.

"Lucy, you know perfectly well what's wrong. So does Ellie and so does Jude."

"Yes, but you don't let us do anything You go off in a corner by yourself and expect us to go about our day."

"I wish you would," he grumbled in response. She sighed, realizing that this was making matters worse.

"Fine…forget I said anything…" she muttered. Max knew she was just trying to help, but she really couldn't. She didn't understand, and to open up, he needed someone who understood. But none of them did. He gave his sister a kiss on the forehead and a smile for her troubles, knowing Jude would give her the comfort she was looking for.

What he didn't know is that Ellie had been watching from the couch inside the entire time.

00000000

The induction ceremony wasn't nearly as terrifying at it was the first time, but that's because he knew what was happening. While he was waiting in line, a boy no older than eighteen stood in front of him, a nervous wreck but trying hard to hide it.

"Why do you want to be in this army, son?" asked the recruitment officer. Max glanced up from his papers and raised an eyebrow. This kid _wanted_ to be in the army?

"B-because I want to serve my country, sir," he stammered out. He delicately handed his papers to the officer, who looked over them. After he went through them, he looked up at the boy skeptically.

"I'll be honest with you, kid. This ain't no Girl Scout troop. You're going to get your ass kicked. You will be shipped to 'Nam, no fancy detours. You think you can handle it?"

The boy's voice didn't quaver for a second. "Yes, sir. I want to make a difference, sir. I want to win this war." Max suppressed the urge to snort. _Typical private…_he thought bitterly. The officer nodded, stamped his sheet, and gave it back to him.

"You will be notified when your troop ships out for boot camp." The kid could barely contain his excitement.

"Thank you, sir! Thank you so much, I won't let you down." He grasped his papers and sped off through the doors. Max stepped up, glancing behind him casually.

"New privates?" he questioned to the officer before handing him his papers.

"Yeah, don't see too many that come here on their own terms, though," replied the officer, not recognizing him at first. He glanced at his sheet. "Carrigan! Haven't heard from you for awhile. Last I heard you had a huge hole in your head and you were screaming your ass off as they carried you away."

Max shuddered involuntarily at the memory. "Yeah…" was all he could say. The recruitment officer was Desmond Harris, whom had bunked with him when he first went to 'Nam. Through a general loss of soldiers and Max's sharp eye, he had been moved up to Sergeant while Desmond stayed a lowly private.

Desmond looked over his sheets, then sighed as he handed them back to him. "You're good to go. Not exactly sure when you'll head out since you're already a Sergeant, I'd guess a month or two."

Max nodded, then smiled contritely. "You're a lucky bastard to be behind that desk instead of in front of it, Harris."

"I know, man. I know. I don't deserve it, either. I don't got a girl, like you. You two still together?"

"Engaged."

He shook his head and shot him a sympathetic look. "Shit, that's harsh… well, you're in my prayers."

Max gave him a nod in farewell, then began to walk away.

"Hey, Max!" called out Desmond. Max turned.

"You look good."

--

**These next chapters will probably not be happy ones I'm afraid.**

**But thank you for the lovely reviews!**

**Now…review again!**


	26. All My Loving, I Will Send to You

"Another drink, Max

The month seemed to be going by much too quickly. Max dropped his taxi job, so Ellie and Lucy picked up a couple extra shifts to make up for the slump in their income. The four short weeks were filled with nothing but work for those two.

Ellie had kept her mouth shut about Max's substantial intake of alcohol; she never had the time to tell him anyway. But his good moods were becoming few and far between due to the frequent hangovers, and she had a feeling he wasn't drinking so much for the hell of it. So finally, as she noticed him heading towards the fridge for yet another beer the one afternoon she had off, she decided to come out with it.

"Another drink, Max?" Ellie noted from the couch, raising her eyebrows at him in alarm. He rolled his eyes, and no mockery rested in them.

"You're starting to sound like my mother, you know that?" he said as he collapsed into the armchair. "Honestly, I'm a big boy, Ellie. I can take care of myself."

"Well, you've had at least six today, and it's, what…five o'clock? I don't think I'm being unreasonable-"

"You're being plenty fucking unreasonable. So I drink, has it really taken you this long to realize that?" he cut in, shaking his head a little and taking a sip from his bottle. She sighed and tried to state her point as calmly as she could.

"I don't care if you drink; we obviously all do, _but_ don't you think you're hitting it a little hard? I mean, we haven't exactly slept in the same bed for weeks."

"And…your point?"

She could not believe his ignorance for her obvious concern, but, keeping the various expletives only in her thoughts, she said through clenched teeth "I'd like to actually have you come home one night not drunk out of your mind and passed out on the couch."

"Sorry, I'll remember that next time, can we drop this?" he said irritably as he stood up, giving her a kiss on the cheek as if he had to. He began to stalk off to their bedroom until Ellie got up from the couch.

"No, we can't. Max, you're starting to scare me. Actually, you're scaring everyone. But you don't tell us a damn thing, and it's becoming impossible to help you."

"You can't help, alright?"

"What do you want us to _do_, then?" she exclaimed angrily. "Just sit here and watch you fuck yourself up even more?"

He turned back to her and threw his hands up in indignant indifference. "You want to help? Fine, here's how you can help. _Leave me alone_. Let me do my own thing, alright? That would be fucking fantastic…"

"No," she said firmly. "I am not going to watch you do this anymore. I can't."

"What is it with you, anyway? Why does everything have to be perfect? Shit, in your mind, if someone's sad, the world's going to end….and when you can't make everything right, you cover it up with lies. You didn't even have the balls to tell your father we were fucking engaged."

"Well, I hate to inform you that Sergeants are about as fucked up as they come. And a few beers happens to make life easier for me. So, I'm _sorry_ if that fucks up that perfect little world of yours, but I'm sure as hell not going to change it."

Ellie bit her lip, surprised and angered and confused all at the same time. To her dismay, she noticed Jude, Lucy, and Sadie all standing awkwardly in the doorway, their arms full of groceries. They set down the bags hesitantly and waited for one of them to say something.

Max shook his head and sunk back into the chair, downing most of the bottle in no time. She looked around and her lips curved upward ruefully.

"We're fine, just had a little heart to heart, you know. If you want to talk to him, great, because apparently I'm just a stupid bitch and I'm completely oblivious to all the shit he's going through…now, if you'll excuse me, I need some air." With that, she stalked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She ran up the stairwell to the roof, not stopping until she reached the ledge. Sitting down, she folded her legs up and watched the gorgeous winter sun setting behind the skyscrapers, lighting up the sky as sunlight bounced off the glassy windows.

She dropped her head into her heads, forcing herself not to cry. What had kept her from smacking him across the face, she wasn't sure, but whatever it was, it had to have been strong. Did he not realize how hard this was for her?

"Mind if I join you?" said a smoky voice behind her. She turned and saw Sadie, a long shawl draped over her shoulders, smiling gently down at her. Ellie moved slightly to her left, and Sadie took a seat.

"Smoke?" Sadie offered, holding two lit cigarettes between her fingers. Ellie brushed it away, but Sadie shot her an exasperated look.

"El, take the damn cigarette." She sighed and took one of them, putting it to her lips and taking a long drag. She laughed a little as she coughed.

"I don't even like cigarettes," she said.

"Yes, you do. You just haven't had one in a while, and honey, I think you need it."

"Whatever, Sadie," Ellie grumbled, but she kept the fag between her fingers. Sadie chuckled and shook her head in wonder.

"Look, I'm just going to get straight to the point. I know you think Max is arrogant and doesn't give a shit what anybody thinks about him. And he doesn't…except for his friends." She looked knowingly at the young woman.

"Honey, the reason he hasn't been telling us things is because he feels weak. He can't stand seeing people so worried about him, so he pretends it's not a big deal. He's crazy about you, El, but he thinks you fell for the Max before Vietnam fucked him up. We both know that's not true, but he doesn't know that. He takes your worrying as you forcing him to change. And we damn well know he doesn't adapt well."

She couldn't believe how accurate Sadie had been. She thought she had figured out Max's little quirks and actions, and Sadie had revealed something that hadn't been unknown to her, but Ellie had never really found the words to describe it.

"He doesn't have to change, I just…drinking's not going to help, it's only going to make it worse…maybe I should say nothing more and let him figure it out himself."

Sadie cocked her head and smiled. "I bet you a million dollars he's going to cut back on the booze…"

"Why would he do that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Because he loves you. And for someone who isn't normally affected by outside opinions, he certainly does listen to you a lot. He may be stubborn, but he's not stupid."

Ellie sighed, but nodded. Sadie squeezed her shoulder, threw out her cigarette, and got up. She briefly commented on the beautiful sunset, then left the rooftop.

By the time Ellie walked back to the apartment, everyone except Jude had gone to bed. He gave her a small, sad smile from his perch on the moonlit windowsill as she headed off towards the bathroom.

When she finally shuffled into her bedroom, it was dark. However, through the shadows and the little light coming through the window, she could make out a tall, slender frame sleeping peacefully on the right side of the bed.

--

"You're still mad at me, aren't you?"

Ellie didn't respond. Max, rarely one to go more than a few moments without speaking, continued anyway.

"I've only had three beers today," he said with a touch of mockery, and he could've sworn her lips curved upward ever so slightly. He moved out of his comfortable position on the doorframe, and sat down next to her on the couch.

"What do you want me to do, El?" he asked simply, but with full sincerity. She sighed and pushed her bangs out of her face.

"…I-I don't know. I guess, I need you to understand that…that this is hard for me, too. For all of us. And that I'm trying so damn hard not to worry and nag, because I know you hate that…" He couldn't help but grin. "but, I need you to cut me some slack sometimes."

He nodded, and then shrugged. "I can do that. All you had to do was ask."

She glanced over at him with a hint of annoyance. "I did…and you profusely refused."

"…so I did. But you did kind of attack me…look, I just want you to know that everything's not always going to be great with me, and I'm still bit fucked up."

"I know," she said, trying to hide the underlying tone of irritation.

"I know you know," he replied with patience that came from somewhere he could not place. "I'm just…saying."

She sighed and kept her mouth shut before she said anything that would set him off. He got up from the couch and started to walk away. Then he stopped, turned around, and gently kissed her cheek.

"You're horrible, you know that?" she blurted out suddenly.

"Oh?" he said, a smile twitching at his lips.

"You have this tendency to be an asshole one minute, then be this funny, charming, amazing guy the next."

"Hmm…well…" he started as he began to walk away. "Maybe I'm just a funny, charming, amazing asshole."

--

That dreaded day did eventually come, when again the friends were forced to say goodbye to one of their own for the second time. The only differences were that this time it was at JFK Airport instead of Dr. Geary's residence in the middle of nowhere. And the fact the war had only gotten progressively more dangerous as the years went by; death tolls were soaring.

Sadie grasped JoJo's hand as Max appeared from the bathroom, now clad in traditional Army Greens. He tugged relentlessly at the ends of his sleeves and scowled as he walked over to his friends.

"I forgot how much I hated these," he grumbled. Sadie sighed in exasperation and pulled him to her, fussing, smoothing out his wrinkled uniform, and fixing the cap that he had shoved haphazardly over his once-again cut-short hair.

"For God's Sake, woman, I'm not going to a dinner party." Her hazel eyes sparkled with tears, and he realized she wasn't fussing with him to make him look nice. She embraced him firmly and kissed his forehead. As she released him, he looked at both Sadie and JoJo.

"You two better be famous by the time I get back so I can stop paying my rent bill." She nodded, giving him one last hug before he moved to Prudence, who already had tears freely rolling down her cheeks.

"Aw, Pru," he murmured before enveloping her tiny frame in his arms and squeezing her tight. When he released her, she looked at him pleading, dark eyes.

"Just promise us you'll still be Max when you get back, okay?" He kissed her forehead in response, moving onto the three people that were going to be the hardest for him.

"Keep everyone in check, man," Max said as he wrapped his arms around his best friend. "For some reason, bad shit happens when you're not around, so don't plan on any impromptu homecoming trips to Liverpool."

"Wouldn't dream of it, mate."

"There'd better not be any distressed sisters, unexpected children, or large paintings of strawberries when I get back."

Jude laughed in spite of the somber occasion and gave his best friend a clap on the back. "Don't worry."

Tear stains blemished his sister's pretty face and as he lightly pressed their foreheads together, he gave her the smallest of smiles.

"Be good, okay? I'll write, I promise."

Lucy grinned through her tears. "No, you won't."

"Okay, so I won't. Sue me. Come 'ere," He embraced her sister tightly, brushing his lips against the top of her head. Giving her one last squeeze, he finally let her go.

Only a smile came to his lips as he came to Ellie, arms sliding around her waist and pulling her as close to him as possible.

"The day I get back…no, the second I get back, I'm going to shove you into the biggest fucking bridal gown I've ever seen," he said as he rubbed his nose affectionately against hers. "and then I'm going to marry you."

"Sounds good to me," she replied, voice trembling ever so slightly before he kissed her. He buried his head into her shoulder.

"God…I already miss you, babe…" he mumbled.

Before letting her go, he locked eyes with her for a moment. "I don't think this needs to be said, because both of us already know it…but I love you…_so_ fucking much…Damn it, it was not this hard last time." She titled her head ever so slightly and smiled.

"Oh, I think it does need to be said…and this will be the last time you'll have to do it, right?"

"Right…" Just then, the loudspeaker came on announcing coach was now boarding the plane. Ellie let him out her tight grip, and, with a hint of playfulness, pushed the brim of his cap down over his eyes.

"Better not miss your flight, _Sergeant_," she muttered teasingly, that being the only thing keeping her from crying. He grinned and refused to let her release him quite yet, keeping his strong arms around her waist and pulling her close. He kissed her deeply, enough for her knees to buckle and the group to titter sadly.

"You two are too fucking cute…" Ellie thought she heard Sadie say.

Finally, he let her go, gave a wave to the rest of the friends, and disappeared into the sea of his fellow soldiers. As hot tears began to burn her eyes, Ellie noticed another young couple saying their goodbyes, with little ones in tow. And as horrible as it was for her to lose him again, she couldn't help but think _At least that's not me._

--

…**don't hate me. Please. I really didn't want to do it. And your suggestions of him running away to Montreal were fantastic, but it just didn't fit right.**

**So, review, but keeping it a little more humane than death threats would be nice.**


	27. Things We Said Today

Take this as a fore-warning

**Take this as a fore-warning. **

**The plot twists may seem a bit…contrived. Not horribly, but a little.**

**So, sorry if that bugs you ******

**--**

Ellie forced a smile as she performed a balancing act with plates full of food, tottering over to her table, and somehow, setting them all down with grace. Or at least not dropping them to the floor. As much as she hated this job, at least she had gotten good at it. She grinned falsely, murmured a "Enjoy your meal" and left the table.

As she was heading back towards the kitchen, she noticed the little T.V. behind the counter was on, updating war coverage. Of course, though her mind told her to keep moving, she stopped. After asking the bartender, Charlie, to turn it up, she came over to the bar and leaned against it comfortably as she watched.

Not much was new. American troops had invaded neighboring Cambodia, attacking military bases relentlessly. There were no major casualties or injuries to report of, not that it mattered anyway. These news reports normally didn't give her more than a glimmer of insight to what was going on.

Charlie noticed her somber expression, and gave her a sad, sympathetic smile. "You got somebody over there, don't you?"

She nodded; Charlie had only been around for a couple of months and hadn't known about her engagement.

"Well…" he began, wiping down the bar. "If it's any reassurance…Nixon's been talking about withdrawing."

"Yeah, well, he's said a lot of other things, too…" she replied bitterly.

"Rigby! What are you standin' around for! We've got people here!" exclaimed her manager from the kitchen. For what seemed like the fiftieth time today, she forced a happy smile.

"On my way!" she responded, giving him a cheesy thumbs-up, but as soon as his back was turned, her middle finger replaced it. She knew she shouldn't worry; she was doing exactly what Max had profusely told her not to do. So, she sighed, collected herself, and went on to wait yet another table.

When her shift finally ended and she arrived home at 1:30 AM, she collapsed onto the couch. In her exhausted state, she hadn't noticed that it had been occupied by Lucy, who gave a stifled yelp as Ellie fell onto her.

"Oh…sorry, Luce," she mumbled, getting off of Lucy. Lucy groaned and sat herself up, though she leaned heavily against the armrest of the couch.

"It's fine. Whatever. God, I'm _beat_. Seems like I've been that way forever." She winced and brought a hand to her stomach. "I've been feeling nauseous, too."

"I don't feel so great either. Maybe we should kick Jude out of the house tomorrow, skip work, and have a girl's day in," suggested Ellie.

"Hmph, you know we can't afford it."

"Who honestly gives a shit?" Ellie knew she was sounding awfully bitchy, but at this particular moment, she felt the need to project her woes to someone who would understand. Lucy seemed preoccupied with other things at the moment, grasping her abdomen and putting a hand over her mouth. Her body retched forward, to which her eyes widened and began to water. Stumbling off the couch, she ran into the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach.

She came back a few minutes later, Ellie shooting her a sympathetic look, but inching a bit further down the couch.

"That's it," Lucy said in a thick, raspy voice. "I'm bunking here tonight and I am _not_ working tomorrow. Jude doesn't need my disgusting germs."

"Think I might do the same, except I'll give you the couch." Ellie, not wanting to feel any worse than she already did, gave her a pat on the shoulder and disappeared into her bedroom. She was out before she hit the bed.

--

A knock came on the door sometime the next afternoon. Lucy and Ellie, both sprawled unceremoniously over a couple armchairs, exchanged glances. Finally, Ellie gave a sigh.

"I'll get it; I seem to be the healthier one of the two," she muttered before pulling herself out the chair, padding over to the door, and opening it.

A smiling Prudence greeted her, a box of tea in her hand. "Hey," she said. "Jude came over this morning, saying you two kicked him out."

"Yeah, we did." Ellie couldn't help but give her a hint of a wicked grin. "But for good reason. Luce is pretty sick, and I'm not so hot either."

"I figured," she replied, shrugging a little. "So, I brought over some of Sadie's amazing tea. It's even better than Jude's British shit."

Ellie opened the door wider to let her in, and the two of them walking through the living room, Lucy giving Prudence a weak smile from her resting place. They went into the kitchen, and Ellie pulled out a tea kettle.

"I'll help you, Pru."

"Thanks, El. So, what exactly have you done today?"

"Well…" she started, a smile growing on her face. "After yakking all last night, Lucy has made good progress by moving from the couch to the armchair. I've found a bit more achievement. I came all the way from my _bedroom_."

Prudence giggled as she poured water into the kettle. "Glad you've done so well, though I might add that movement when you're sick is usually done for you by the big, strong arms of your significant other. Strapping young men, in your case."

"Good point, but the lone, strapping young male left before that idea crossed my mind."

"…are you referring to Jude or Max?" Prudence continued, though she said it with a trace of caution. To her relief, Ellie laughed.

"Jude's a bit more…toned than Max, I'm afraid, so I suppose I mean Jude," she replied with a rueful smile. The small Asian returned it sadly.

"You miss him like crazy, don't you." The answer to that was painfully obvious, so Ellie chose not to say anything. They finished making the tea in silence, then, after taking two mugs for themselves, brought one out to Lucy.

"Thanks," she said thickly, taking a sip and sighing as the warm liquid calmed her churning stomach. Ellie and Prudence curled up on the couch, sipping their tea as well.

"So, you've been sick for how long?" Prudence asked to Lucy.

"I've felt like shit for ages, but it hasn't gotten really bad until now. I'm not really sick, just continuously nauseous."

An alarm went off in Ellie's mind. This was all sounding _way_ too familiar…

"…Luce…" she started cautiously. "...are you sure you don't have the flu or something?"

She shook her head. "Nah, the flu's worse than this. Had it way too many times when I was little."

"Lucy, have you missed your period?"

Her stunning cerulean eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Oh. Shit," she muttered breathlessly, and never in her life had Ellie seen a sick woman fly off a couch so quickly. She followed behind wordlessly, getting her coat, and eventually dashing out the door, leaving Prudence in a bemused state.

On the subway ride there, Lucy was going out of her mind.

"Pregnant? Me? God, what will my parents say? What will _Jude_ say?" she babbled relentlessly.

"Jude will be ecstatic," Ellie replied. She hadn't said to reassure her; it was the simple truth. The blonde glanced over at her in disbelief.

"You think so?" she inquired quietly.

"I know so." She couldn't really say any more without giving away his intentions, so she left it at that. They sat in silence for the rest of the journey there, a nervous one for the younger of the two, and headed to a drug store, figuring it was easier than going to the doctor's office.

Rarely had Ellie seen the younger Carrigan so out-of-sorts. She grasped about ten pregnancy tests off the shelves, threw them at the cashier, and departed as quickly as she arrived. Ellie let her do her thing and followed her silently, all the way to their apartment.

She flew into the bathroom with three in her hand, tossing the others on her bed where Ellie waited patiently. While Lucy was fumbling around in the bathroom, Ellie glanced over at the remaining little, white boxes and the wheels in her head started to spin.

_What if…?_ That question began to swirl around in her mind. No…not twice. It couldn't have happened twice. But as many times as she tried to push it out of her mind, the question kept coming back. _Well, it can't hurt._ _And Lucy doesn't need all ten of those._ So, taking a few, she snuck out of the bedroom Lucy and Jude's bedroom, past the living room where Prudence gave her another bewildered glance, then into her own bathroom.

Prudence looked between the two rooms. She knew what was going on (sort of); that wasn't the problem. What she couldn't figure out it why she hadn't been brought along for help and why Ellie had snuck into her own bathroom with a few in her hand.

Ten minutes later, both doors creaked open, and two voices flatly said "I'm pregnant."

"You're preggers?" Prudence asked Lucy excitedly. She hadn't heard Ellie.

"Yeah…I guess I am…" She couldn't help but smile just a little bit.

"Lord…" Ellie stated in disbelief. "Two pregnant women in one apartment?" Prudence whipped around to face her, dark eyes puzzled.

"Wait…_you're _pregnant?!"

"Erm…yeah. I thought since I'm feeling a milder dose of what Luce has that I'd just check it out. I didn't really think it turn out positive. Well, maybe I did, but it doesn't really matter now."

"Damn…this is insane."

"Tell me about it," the two fertilized women replied simultaneously.

"So…who's going to break the news to Jude?" Lucy inquired casually after a while. The other two looked at her in exasperation.

"Uh, you." Prudence said.

"Who else would do it?" Ellie added.

"But…fuck, I'm scared."

"About what?" Ellie rolled her eyes. "As I said before, he'll be ecstatic."

"Ecstatic about what?" As if on cue, Jude had just entered the apartment to check on them. He glanced between the three girls in confused suspicion.

"I'm pregnant, Jude…" Lucy said quietly. His face lit up like a firecracker.

"…you're…you're serious, luv?" he exclaimed excitedly, an unmistakable smile growing in his face. She nodded.

He was speechless. "Wow…that's…that's great!"

"See? I told you. I, on the other hand, have no fucking clue how Max is going to react." He stopped mid-stride and turned to face Ellie.

"You're pregnant, too?" he asked quizzically.

"Mm-hmm. Wonderful, isn't it?" she said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"They both ran off to the drugstore about an hour ago," Prudence commented.

"I wasn't planning on doing it myself…" she muttered.

"Wait, I'm lost," Jude began, his handsome features wrinkling in confusion. "Why'd you go with her, then?"

"Moral support."

"Oh…so how'd you find out?"

"My mind got the best of me, so I took three of Luce's ten…now we have four leftover tests… too bad Pru didn't need one to know."

"Pru's pregnant?!"

"_No,_" the women replied vigorously. Ellie smacked her forehead at her own stupidity.

"Sorry, I meant that she didn't need one to know…because she's not pregnant, not because she already knew…you know what I mean."

"Right…got it."

He turned back to his lover and the two of them became lost in their own new-found happiness.

Ellie sighed and collapsed into the easy chair. As she watched her two friends revel in their joy, she was glad for them, but she was feeling something else too. She wasn't quite as worried about the reaction of the father; things had definitely been different the last time. What she was feeling was jealousy.

Not wanting to ruin their moment, however, she said nothing and kept a warm smile planted on her face for the rest of the day. Lucy had done a complete turnaround from a nervous wreck to an excited, yet composed young woman. And Ellie had never seen Jude smile as big or for as long as he had been. Every so often, as they cuddled on the couch later that evening, he would bend down and place a kiss on her belly.

Before she went to bed, she realized that there was something she absolutely had to do, no matter how "tacky" she had found it before. Things were different now, and there was no waiting this time. She figured by the time he got the letter, the child might be coming out of her stomach, but it didn't really matter when he got it.

_Max,_

_Hey. It's me. I know you're not a big letter person, but this is something that's actually worth reading. I'll keep it short. Lucy's pregnant! You'd probably say Jude looks like a grinning dumbass at the moment; he hasn't stopped smiling all day. That's it. That's the big news. We all miss you. I love you._

_Ellie_

_P.S. I'm pregnant, too. Hormones in our apartment will be on overdrive._

--

**So, the idea of both Lucy and Ellie being pregnant at the same time, no matter how contrived it may be, and Jude being forced to live with them kind of made me giggle.**

**And I need some humor chapters, for god's sake!**

**Oh, and I assumed they had home pregnancy tests. I would say it's 1970 right now, and Wikipedia (yes, Wikipedia) said it was invented by then. **

**Anyway, like it or not, that's how it is.**

**Please review.**


	28. I Read the News Today, Oh Boy

I know you're not a big letter person…

**Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews! Keep them coming!**

**So, I'm out of school (FINALLY.), so my updates should be much faster since I now do not have to worry about homework! Thank the Lord…**

**--**

**Max's POV**

_I know you're not a big letter person…_

She's right about that. Fuck, I hate letters. More writing than reading, but there's such a feeling obligation when you get one that makes it impossible to avoid them. Oh well, it must be something important.

_I'll keep it short…_

Thanks, babe.

_Lucy's pregnant!_

It's about time. I'm sure Jude's secretly worried I'm going to bust my ass back to America and beat his butt for having his way with my sister. Seriously, does he think I haven't been around for the last three years?

_You'd probably say Jude looks like a grinning dumbass at the moment; he hasn't stopped smiling all day…_

Well, that's to be expected.

_That's the big news. We all miss you, I love you. P.S…_

I fold the letter and put on my cot. "P.S."s are rarely anything of great importance. She probably said "Sadie's got a gig with so-and-so!" or "Pru's leaving again." Something I can find out later or even when I get home. If I get home.

"_When_ you get home…" I mutter quietly. There actually hasn't been much to do lately. We're not in Vietnam anymore, not that Cambodia is really any better. We still invade villages and "fight for freedom" and all that shit, but recently all we've done is wait. My privates keep asking me "when the hell we're going to do something" and even I don't know the answer. I wish I could still say something along the lines of "It doesn't matter, now fuck off." and they would leave it at that. Now they honestly could care less. I lovingly christened them "The Dumbass Brigade."

I've probably played about fifty games of poker today, and I really hope I do not have a large rent bill when I come back, because I'm pretty broke at the moment. Of course I'm losing the game I'm currently in, chewing on the end of my joint in frustration.

"Hey, Serg, who's Ellie?" says Bill, who's sitting on my cot and holding the letter in his hands.

"His girl," answers another private. Normally, I would inquire if he would appreciate me reading his personal letters from home, but I decide the fucker's really not worth the trouble.

"Damn…congrats, man," Bill continues anyway.

"About what?" I grumble.

"You being a dad soon."

"Nah, Luce is pregnant, not El. If you're going to look into other people's personal lives, I'd suggest learning how to read, Private."

"…did you read the P.S.?"

I throw my cards down in frustration, not really caring that the whole group can see my hand now (I'm losing horribly, anyway, remember?), and walk over to my bunk. It's pretty obvious he's not going to let this drop, so I guess it's better to nip it in the bud now. Snatching the letter out of his hands, I read it much more carefully than I did the first time.

At the very bottom, it says:

_P.S. I'm pregnant, too…_

The rest of it, something about hormones being on overdrive, is not important. But I guess I was wrong to assume that "P.S."s never hold anything of great importance however because, as I've just found out, this one certainly fucking did.

--

**Ellie's POV**

I discovered two things over the past two years. One: pregnancy sucks. Two: pregnancy the second time around isn't quite as bad, but it still sucks. Particularly when there's another pregnant woman living in the same tiny apartment, and you have the feeling your boyfriend, also the father, is having a fit over the whole ordeal in another country right about now.

Lucy's not having a great experience. The slightest sense of anything potent sets off the vomit-trigger, and she ends up spending a good hour hugging the porcelain god. She's also been getting some nasty blisters on her feet. At least the baby's keeping quiet.

But all the vomiting has left her in a constant state of exhaustion. She just didn't have the energy to keep working, so thank God she put in all those extra hours before hand. She hasn't moved much from the armchair in the last couple days. I feel kind of bad for her, actually. Her eyes are glazed and most of the time, she'll just sit there miserably with her hands resting on top of her growing belly.

But then again, she'll lighten up a bit when Jude gets in from work. Because of our shrinking income, he managed to find a job at Rat making cover art and such. Pay isn't wonderful, but it's enough; and the hours are flexible, so of course, he took it in a heartbeat.

Poor Jude. Even though he can come home often from his job and he's been diligently waiting on Lucy's (and a little for me, too) hand and foot, I think it's only a matter of time before he cracks. A couple nights ago, when we were all relaxing on the couch, she burst into tears. He rushed over to her, asking her repeatedly what was wrong. She said she had been in a lot of pain and she was afraid that hers would be a stillborn, like mine was the first time.

"I don't think I could handle that…" she sobbed. Jude glanced over at me desperately, but all I could do was shrug and shoot him a sympathetic look.

He took her into his arms, rubbed her back, and tried his best to assure her that that doesn't happen very often, and that as long as they were careful, they would have a happy, healthy baby. But she still a good cry, both of them being completely wiped out by the end of that episode.

The whole "hormones will be on overdrive" comment had of course been in all in fun, but now I was eating my words. While Luce was bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, my temper was getting out of control. The tiniest thing I could not do would drive me up the wall, making me irritable for the rest of the day.

I try not to ask Jude for too much; he has enough to handle, but that's getting increasingly more difficult. The other day, for the damndest reason, I couldn't put on my own fucking shoes!

Profanities spilled out of my mouth as I bent down as far as I humanly could, but they were just out of my reach. I groaned as I let myself fall backwards back onto my mattress.

"Jude!" I called out.

He appeared a few minutes later, looking a little bleary and disheveled.

"Yes, love?"

I sat up and winced apologetically. "I'm sorry, but could you help me get my shoes on?"

He sighed but gave me the smallest of smiles. "Of course."

He shuffled over to the edge of the bed and sat down, taking my foot gingerly and starting to put my shoes on.

"I'm sorry," I said again, becoming more indignant. "I just about threw the shoes at the window when I realized I couldn't put the damn things on by myself. Honestly, I feel like a fucking child."

"El, it's fine, really-"

"No, it's not. I could put on my own fucking shoes the first time around, hell, I didn't have to ask for help that often! Now it seems I can't do anything…"

I realized I wasn't the only one getting a little ticked, so I kept the rest of my ranting thoughts in my head.

"What are you doing today, then? No work?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood but the irritability not leaving my voice.

He nodded as he started on the other shoe. "'S me only day off this week, but at least it's something. I thought I'd help Sades. She's moving some furniture around and the only one up there is Pru."

I couldn't help but snort a little. "You're hanging out…with Sadie and Pru? Not that they aren't amazing to hang out with, but I figured you'd be craving some testosterone."

As he finished, he looked up at me with wide, pitiful brown eyes. "Love, I'm a bit desperate for anything that doesn't have a tyke growing inside their stomach. And since Jo's out, they are as close as I get."

I scowled a little, but gave him a hug. "I see how it is. Well, have fun….I guess. And thanks for the help."

After pulling away from our embrace, we shared a quick kiss, then he headed out the door. I sighed as I got up and headed into the kitchen. I couldn't even remember why I wanted my shoes on anyway. But as I looked through our cupboards for something to eat, I realized we were in need of a grocery store trip.

Since I had forgotten to ask Jude on his way out, I figured since I had my shoes on I might as well go. I didn't mind the short walk. It was coming up nine flights of stairs with five grocery bags that was the hard part.

So guess who got recruited to help? You got it, and anyone watching us toddle up the stairs, muttering expletives left and right and sweaty hair sticking to our foreheads, would've died of laughter.

--

**It's a short chapter, I know, but at least it's something, right?**

**Please review!**


	29. Glad All Over

"911 Emergency, how may I help you

**Sorry!**

**The crazy amount of storms rampaging my area of the country took down my Internet (gasp!), so I couldn't post it when it was ready.**

**--**

Jude buried his head into his hands, squeezed his eyes shut, and prayed for a bloody miracle as he sat on the couch in their living room. Oh, if he thought the last nine months had been hell, they were paradise compared to what was happening at the present moment. Like some twisted sort of joke, both Lucy and Ellie had becoming laden with painful contractions at what seemed like precisely the same moment, both of them desperately telling him they were in labor.

Well, it hadn't been _exactly_ the same time. Lucy started first. She had only been a little achy at first; she told him of this when he had come in from work to check on her. But they were getting progressively worse, and it wasn't long before she was a sobbing, moaning mess. Every time he tried to comfort her, she forcefully pushed him away, saying he could do nothing to help. So he was forced to watch the love of his life writhing around on her bed, not exactly sure what to do.

Then Ellie was set off. Groaning, he had gone into her bedroom, wondering how the situation could possibly get any worse. She was as much as mess as Lucy was, except she was a tad more vigorous with him. When he had come over to her and asked her what he could do, she pushed him away so hard he just about went flying into the wall. He had scampered out of there as quickly as possible.

Now, both of them were emitting bloodcurdling screams of pain about every five minutes. Jude was going to immediately run to the phone and call 911, but he had the feeling that nothing of coherence would come out of his mouth. He had forced himself to sit and living room and calm himself down for about a minute.

Finally, after taking a few deep breaths, he thought he could make a phone call without babbling incessantly. He exhaled, picked up the phone, and called the hospital.

"911 Emergency, how may I help you?" asked a very bored-sounding receptionist.

"Yes, erm…my girl's pregnant, and she's in a lot of pain right now. I think something's wrong," Jude stated, as calmly as he possibly could.

"How many months pregnant is your girlfriend?"

"Eight…or nine? I'm not positive."

"Has she been having contractions?"

He sighed irritably. He couldn't figure out why this woman was asking so many damn questions. "I guess so, I don't know."

Then a thought dawned him. He shut his eyes in dismay, smacking his forehead. "My mate's girl in the same state as me girl, also. Forgot to mention that."

The receptionist sighed. "Sir, I suggest you bring both of them down to the hospital. Otherwise, I'm not sure what to tell you."

"I don't have a car," he replied desperately. "Can't you send an ambulance?"

"Only if it's an emergency. It's very possible the women could be having a few aches and pains, but it's also very possible they could be in labor. You aren't giving me enough details to let me determine that."

Jude just about lost his marbles. "Are you telling me you need _confirmation_?" Ironically, both Ellie and Lucy shrieked in pain simultaneously behind him. "Fine, I'll give you bloody confirmation."

He held the phone away from his ear towards the direction of the bedrooms, making sure this ridiculous receptionist got a good listen. After about ten seconds, he whipped the phone back up to his ear.

"There. Are you satisfied? _Does that sound like a fucking emergency to you_?!"

"Y-yes, sir, an ambulance will be sent to your place of residence," she responded shakily.

After giving her the necessary information, he didn't even bother to say thank you before he hung up the phone. He was still fuming over the fact that she had the gall to ask whether an ambulance needed to be called or not. _He_ was going to need an ambulance before too long, or he might just throw himself off the fire escape.

If there was ever a moment he needed Max and his goddamn, laid-back, "whatever" attitude, it was now.

He heard the door to their apartment open, and Pru and Sadie rushed in, dragging JoJo behind them. They hadn't even bothered to knock; from the screams that were emanating throughout the tenant building, it was obvious he was in need of help, and fast.

"Lord Almighty, you would think somebody's getting murdered from all the screeching…" Sadie muttered. "What do you want us to do, honey?"

He ran a shaking hand through his hair, his voice cracking hysterically. "I-I don't know…erm…you go help El, I guess, and Pru help me with Luce. I called an ambulance."

Sadie nodded, and taking JoJo by the wrist, who looked completely overwhelmed by the panicked women, the two of them went into El's room. She immediately got to her side and pulled her into her arms, stroking her hair and trying to calm her down. Jo stood out of the way, only moving when Sadie barked at him to fetch her a cool washcloth and change of clothes. Jude had been so out-of-sorts he hadn't even noticed that her water broke. So had Lucy's, and Prudence was wincing at how tightly she was gripping her hand, purple splotches appearing on her lightly tanned skin.

Finally, to everyone's relief, wailing sirens were heard outside the building. After what seemed like hours of questioning by the doctors, both of them said that they thought they would be able to walk. Everyone helped them carefully, but quickly down the winding staircase and out onto the street. They were both laid down on stretchers and whisked into the ambulance.

"I'm afraid we can't fit all of you in here," apologized the head nurse. Jude made a move to go, but Sadie placed a firm arm in front of him. He glanced at her incredulously.

"I know, I know, she's your girlfriend," she assured, taking the words right out of his mouth. "But honey, you look like hell frozen over. Let Pru go with them and we'll take a cab, maybe so you can calm down just a little bit."

He opened his mouth to protest, but Prudence had hopped in the ambulance and it was already speeding off towards the hospital. After sprinting down the block, Sadie put her fingers to her lips and hailed a cab. They all piled in.

"How fast can you get us to Mercy?" she asked.

"Ten minutes," responded the driver.

"Excellent."

After settling herself in and putting her hair up in a ponytail, something she rarely did, she looked over at Jude, whose face was passive but was shaking from head to toe. She put a hand on his leg and squeezed.

"Jude. Listen. Everything's going to be _fine_, I promise. And if you're going to have a nervous breakdown, now would be the time. Because Luce just might go out of her mind if she sees you flipping out."

"_She_ might go out of her mind…" he muttered bitterly, but he seemed to relax just a bit.

They pulled up to the Emergency Room, and Sadie felt around in her pockets. They were empty. She turned to JoJo, who shook his head. She groaned.

"Shit…look, I don't have anything on me, sorry." she said to the driver. He rolled his eyes and glared. She gave him a pat on the shoulder, her mind on other matters, and the three of them started to get out of the car. He caught her arm.

"So you're just expecting a free ride, huh?" he inquired dubiously.

She winced and bit her lip, thinking quickly. Suddenly, a brilliant idea came to her. "You know Carrigan? Max? He drove taxis for a while."

The driver thought about it for a moment, then slowly began to nod. "Yeah…the vet. I remember him. Crazy kid, that one-"

"Right, right. He's a friend of ours. Tell him he owes you one when he comes back!"

She turned to follow Jude and JoJo into the ER, but the driver stopped her again. "He ain't gonna be too happy about that, you know!"

"Well," she shouted over her shoulder, "He'd better get over it considering his girl's in labor!"

--

While Max was fighting a war in Vietnam, the rest of them sure felt like they were preparing for battle. Sadie stayed with Ellie while Prudence and, of course, Jude accompanied Lucy. Their rooms were on opposite ends of the hallway, so JoJo kept his post somewhere in the middle, where a small office space with a few nurses worked.

JoJo sighed and leaned his head against the wall. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was multiple people flipping out all at the same time. El, Luce, and Jude, he could understand, but Lord _Almighty_, did Sadie get bitchy when she was stressed. He was became thankful that labor apparently lasted a few hours until the baby was actually born, so he could finally chill for a few minutes without everyone screaming all around him. He let his eyes close as he began to hum a little song about nothing, tuning out the quiet chatter of the nurses about how crazy it was to have two pregnancies happening so close together.

It wasn't too long before he was abruptly awakened by the sound of multiple doctors running past him down the left side of the hallway. He sighed as he pushed himself up from his seat, and began to jog in the other direction to let Sadie know.

It was going to be a long night, and it was only just beginning.

--

"Push, push, push!" encouraged the nurse. Lucy squeezed her eyes shut and threw her head back, grunting painfully and sweat pouring from her forehead. She gripped Jude's and Pru's hand for dear life, not realizing she was coming close to cutting off their circulations.

Jude was shaking from head to toe. He had never been so afraid in his entire life. He was thoroughly convinced he had never contemplated the questions that were swimming through his head before in his entire life. _What if the baby's got a disease? What if Luce doesn't pull through? What if the baby doesn't pull through?_

"One more time, I can see the head!"

Lucy wailed and tears started to trickle down her cheeks.

"Can't you give her a rest?" Jude questioned wildly, his face going beet red. Prudence reached across to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

"Sir, I'm afraid she's too close to stop now…" the nurse replied sympathetically, then turned her attention back to the screaming woman. "Come on, push, push, push! She's almost out!"

She gave one last shriek before it was replaced by the cries of their newborn. She collapsed into the bed, panting heavily and her features relaxing. He lifted his legs over the bars of the bed and pulled her into his lap, stroking sweaty bands out of her face and kissing the top of her head.

Prudence walked over to where the doctors were gathered and stood on the tip of her toes to try to get a glimpse of the baby. She caught one of the doctors saying "she" so she turned back to the couple.

"I think it's a girl," she said with a big grin.

Finally, the newborn had been cleaned up and wrapped up in a soft, pink blanket. After looking at the doctors holding the baby girl with questioning eyes, the doctor handed her to Prudence, who smiled from ear to ear.

"Here she is." She gave her to Lucy, who looked down at her new baby girl.

Chocolate brown ringlets framed her heart-shaped face, but she clearly had her mother's blazing cobalt eyes, her lips curved upward in a peaceful smile. Thoughts of her own voice saying _"I'm never having children…it's complete narcissism, people putting out little carbon copies of themselves…"_ swirled in her head. Well, if she thought it was 'complete narcissism' then, she certainly didn't now.

Jude felt happy tears burn his eyes, his hand shaking as he reached to hold the tiny hand of his new daughter. He gave a choked sigh, pressing his lips to the top of Lucy's head.

"Oh Luce, she's fucking _beautiful_," Prudence murmured. "I always knew you two would have pretty babies."

Both of them smiled through their tears.

"Hey there, luv" he murmured, stroking a finger down his daughter's cheek. Then it dawned on him that they hadn't picked a name. Luckily, Lucy must have read his thoughts.

"I was thinking Michelle would be a good name," she said, tearing her eyes away from her newborn and looking up at Jude. "What do you think?"

He thought for a moment, then held her closer to him. "I love it."

Jude must have watched Michelle and Lucy for hours making sure that they were alright before dozing off in exhaustion, because when he woke up, the first thing he heard was the quiet chatter of his friends. He blearily rubbed his eyes and yawned, not wanting to disturb the still slumbering Lucy. As he awakened, Sadie and Prudence stopped their conversation to smile at him warmly.

"Looks like Wonder Boy's up…" Sadie commented good-naturedly.

He nodded, and smiled when he looked over at JoJo who was completely knocked out.

"Guess I'm not the only one who's beat."

"Yeah, well, I think all the hormonal, bitchy women just about killed him. I'm surprised it didn't do the same to you."

He snorted. "Trust me, it did. Speaking of hormonal, bitchy women…how's El doing?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" He looked to his far right and sure enough, Ellie was grinning back at him, laying in the extra bed in the room, with her newborn resting peacefully in her arms.

"Hey, Judey," she said, giving him a feeble wave. "I see you're a proud papa."

He looked down at his sleeping Michelle and smiled. "I guess I am."

"What's her name…assuming it's a girl?"

He laughed a little. "That she is. Michelle."

She nodded in approval. Jude, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from his little girl, looked over at Ellie and her own newborn.

"So, is my best mate going to have to deal with another woman in the house?"

She giggled, then sighed in mock disappointment. "I'm afraid not, as amusing as that would be."

"You got a name for the little bugger?"

She groaned and frowned. "No. I can't believe I didn't think about that!"

"You four have a tendency to skip the important details," Sadie noted. All of them, at least, all of them that were awake, laughed.

Jude thought for a moment. "Well, I'm sure Max would be the happiest man alive if you named him after him, though I'm not sure his ego could possibly get any bigger."

Her eyebrows raised thoughtfully. "No matter what, this one's going to look just like him. The only thing he's got from me is my eyes and he's a little darker than Max. So, that's actually not a bad idea."

"We can call him little Max!" Prudence piped up eagerly from her perch on the armchair.

Ellie giggled. "Oh, I'm going to regret this later. But it seems like a unanimous decision."

All of them nodded, and she took Lucy's sleeping sigh and JoJo's snore as a yes.

"Max Jr. it is, then."

Sadie took her thick curls out of her ponytail and shook her hair out a little bit, then rested her chin in her hand. "So, we've got little Max and Michelle to add to our family."

Ellie gave a sad smile. "I just wish we were all here to see it."

--

**Please review!**


	30. Carry that Weight

**I'm afraid that our friends are going to have to go through a bit more trouble.**

**I promise it's the last big plot twist in the story.**

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

"Uh...okay, let's try this one." Ellie cleared her throat. "_Once there was a way to get back homeward. Once there was a way to get back home. Sleep pretty darling do not cry. And I will sing a lullaby. Golden slumbers fill your eyes…_"

Little Max continued to sob. She groaned and leaned heavily against the edge of crib. If there was one thing she wasn't known for, it was her singing voice. She couldn't do much more than carry a tune, and apparently her new son didn't appreciate that.

She cursed Lucy, Jude, _and_ Max Sr., all blessed with beautiful voices. She had been trying for about an hour to get her little one to sleep, but three off-key lullabies later, she was running out of ideas.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Jude pushed the door open, looking well-rested, something Ellie was certainly not.

"Having troubles getting the bugger to sleep?" he asked with a bit of a smile.

"How could you tell?" she mumbled sarcastically.

He walked over her and rubbed her back supportively. "It's alright, luv. Some of us are born singers…and some of us aren't."

She slowly turned her head to glower at him. "Gee…thanks."

He chuckled and gave her a pat on the back good-naturedly. "Why don't you rest up a little and I'll see if I can get this one to bed?"

She nodded and sighing "Thanks, Jude." before going out her bedroom door and into their living room, collapsing on the couch and shutting her eyes.

It wasn't long before Max Jr.'s cries subdued and Jude's honeyed tenor filled the apartment. She couldn't help but grin. Just because he wasn't singing to her didn't mean she couldn't enjoy it.

About fifteen minutes later, things were quiet and Jude came out of her bedroom, closing the door behind him carefully. He shuffled over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"That should keep him quiet for at least a few hours."

She opened her eyes and smiled tiredly. "Thanks, Judey."

"No problem. G'night, El."



He kissed her cheek and went back into the kitchen, where his joint and his sketchbook were waiting. She sighed a little and pushed herself out of the couch, padding back into her bedroom and shutting the door as quietly as she could behind her.

She walked over to the crib and watched little Max peacefully sleeping, his tiny chest rising and falling, and couldn't help thinking that big Max was going to owe her _big_ time when he came back.

"You know that phone's not going to move."

Ellie glared over her shoulder at Sadie. The singer had come over to see how the little ones were doing, and it dawned on Ellie that she hadn't informed her parents about Max Jr. She had asked Sadie if she thought it was a good idea

Sadie had shrugged. "Honey, I could care less if you let your parents know. Do I think it's a good idea? Probably, if you want to avoid some serious drama in the future."

So, there Ellie had been, staring at the kitchen phone for about fifteen minutes, knowing this was not going to be a happy conversation.

Finally, she sighed and picked up the phone, dialing her home number. To her mild relief, her mother picked up.

"Hello?"

She sighed again. "Hey, Mom. It's Ellie."

"Honey, it's great to hear from you! How are you?"

"Well…" She figured there was no point beating around the bush. She'd do it quick and dirty. "I got pregnant, Mom."

Silence.

Not knowing what else to do, she barreled on.

"It's a boy…his name's Max, after Max, of course, and he's perfectly healthy."

Mrs. Rigby was still at a loss for words. She would start to say something, then groan and shake her head when nothing would come out. She wanted to be happy for her daughter; she really did. But something in her heart and mind was refusing to let her.

Mr. Rigby, who had overheard their conversation, picked up the phone in another room.

"Eleanor? Is that you?"

She swallowed nervously. "Hi, Daddy…"



"Is there a specific reason you're calling, or are you just dropping in?"

"Well, I…uh…was just dropping in…" She could practically hear her mother giving her a disapproving look for that comment. "okay, I'm not just dropping in. I, uh…just want to let you know that I got…pregnant?"

"_What?!_ You've got a bastard child, now?!"

She dropped her tentativeness and turned indignant. "His name's Max and he's doing great, thanks for asking."

"Eleanor, you've gone too far."

"What's wrong? It's not like I cheated on Max…Sr, that is, or anything."

"You two aren't even _married_," Mr. Rigby bellowed.

"But we're going to be. I'll admit, little Max wasn't planned, but it was going to happen sooner or later, right?"

"Honey…," her mother started, speaking for the first time since she had heard the news. "why didn't you tell us when you got pregnant?"

"Because I was afraid of getting this reaction," Ellie replied flatly.

Her father burst into a rant about how she shouldn't have been so sure the marriage was even going to happen, and now that they had a child things were only going to get worse. Ellie sighed and dropped her head into her head. She supposed she should've expected this, but it was still frustrating nonetheless.

Lucy came in from running a few errands, coming into the kitchen and greeting Sadie. She looked over at Ellie and her distressed state.

"What's wrong?" she mouthed.

"She's telling her parents about little Max…" the red-head responded.

The blonde winced sympathetically in Ellie's direction and disappeared for a moment, most likely to check on sleeping Michelle. Eventually, the fighting parents and child must have come to some sort of compromise, or at least some sort of a conclusion, and she hung up the phone.

"Well…I suppose it could've been worse," she said, pushing her bangs out of her face.

Lucy returned from her bedroom, getting herself a glass of water. "If it's any consolation, I should probably do the same. And at least you and Max are engaged."



Ellie decided she should probably keep what she knew about Jude's intentions to herself, so she changed the subject.

"So, how's everyone?" she asked Sadie. The newborns had kept the partying with their friends to few and far between.

"Good, good. Pru's a little down, I think she and Rita are going through some shit, which means I should expect her to disappear for a few months. She'll have to take it up from the new landlord or landlady when she gets back…"

Lucy, who had seated herself comfortably on top of the kitchen counter and was sipping her water, furrowed her brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Me and Jo and the boys are leavin' at the end of the month."

Lucy just about dropped her glass and Ellie's jaw hung open.

"_What?!_" they both exclaimed. "Why?!"

"I've got a friend down in Chicago who's got a little recording studio. He said the place's swarming with producers and he said if we laid down a couple tracks and started becoming regulars at the clubs down there, he'd make sure a producer would come our way."

"But…they've got loads of producers here, too, right?" Lucy inquired.

Sadie shook her head with a touch of sadness. "Not anymore, no. They've come and moved on. And unfortunately, if we want to get anywhere, we've got to follow them."

"Part of me hates doing it. I'll lose all of you and the backup money coming from the rent. And I love this city. But man, I want go somewhere with this band, and I think we can do it. I wish we could just stay here and hope, like we've been doing, but that just ain't workin' for us anymore."

"How long have you been keeping this from us?" Ellie asked with a hint of annoyance.

"Jo and I have been talkin' it over for a while, but we didn't want to say anything because nothing was set in stone until…well, last night. Our place is ready and we've already got our first gig set up at the beginning of next month."

"Damn, Sades…we'll miss you-"

"Hey, I don't want to hear all that good-bye shit right now, save it until we leave," she replied firmly, but with a smile.

A prolonged sob echoed throughout the small apartment. The African-American groaned.



"Two hours…could he just sleep for two _full_ hours?" she muttered as she got up from the table, running into her bedroom to soothe her little one back to sleep.

Lucy sighed and pushed herself off the counter. "Well, I guess sooner is better than later."

She picked up the telephone and dialed her home number, bracing herself for the scream fest that was about to happen.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Lucy, Mom."

"Lucy…" Her mother broke into distressed sobs. Confused and a little scared, she asked:

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"It's…it's Max…"

Her heart plummeted to her stomach like a rock.

"What's wrong with him? What's wrong with Max? Is he alright?" she inquired, her voice rising and causing Sadie to look up at her with concern.

Mrs. Carrigan continued to weep, and the blonde felt her chest tighten. _He can't be gone. He just __**can't**__ be, _her mind pleaded.

"Please, Mom. Tell me he's alright."

"He-he…" Mrs. Carrigan choked. "…was t-taken…captured."

Lucy fell against the wall, her head dropping into her hand. A miniscule part of her was relieved that there was a chance her brother was still alive, but from the way her mother sounded, things did not look good.

"How long has he been missing?" she said, tears starting to burn her eyes.

"A c-couple of weeks…they've sent h-his platoon out looking for him, b-but so far…"

Her mother couldn't finish and began to sob again.

"When were you planning on telling us this?!" she asked resentfully.

"We j-just found out, honey. W-we were just about to call you. I promise I would never keep anything like that from you…"

Lucy immediately felt guilty for asking her mother that question.



"I know, Mom, I know…" she said, doing her best to contain her emotions at least until she got off the phone. "Just…keep me updated, okay…please?"

"Of course," Mrs. Carrigan sniffed, starting to control herself a little. "Your father's checking in as often as he can, and if anything happens, you'll be the first person we call."

"Thank you." Then she said something that she hadn't uttered to her mother for at least a couple years. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Lucy."

She hung up, and when she did, the reality of the situation hit her hard and fast. Her brother, Max, was probably sitting in Vietnamese tent with a gun pointed to his head right now. And no amount of protesting or anti-war effort would change that.

A fresh wave of tears trickled down her face as she fell into a kitchen chair. Sadie reached across the table to take her hand, lips pursed together with concern.

"What's wrong, Luce?" she inquired.

"He's…he's been taken captive." That's all she could say before her voice caught her throat and a choked sob escaped her lips.

She didn't even notice Ellie coming back into the kitchen, a sleeping Max Jr. in her arms.

"He fell asleep like this, so I'm afraid to put him down," she said with sarcasm. She then noticed the tears falling freely down Lucy's cheeks and her smile faded.

"Luce, what's the matter?"

Neither of the two women said anything, though Sadie turned and looked at Ellie, sympathy and remorse brimming her in hazel eyes.

"Why don't I take Max for you and you can talk to Luce?"

It was obviously more of a command than a question, so, getting more worried by the second, Ellie handed her little one to Sadie and she left the room. Ellie sat down where the singer had been sitting.

"Lucy…" she started cautiously, "you're scaring me shitless, what's going on?"

She sighed shakily and tried to sniff some of her tears away. "El…I'm so sorry…it's Max, he's… he's been taken."

-**ducks various flying objects from angry fanfiction readers-**

**I'm sorry!**

**Please don't kill me. You won't know what happens to Max if you do!**

**XD**

**Please review!**


	31. Crying, Waiting, Hoping

Oh…this one's going to be filled to the brim with angst and horrors

**Alright, here's a few things before I start this chapter.**

**I did a little bit of research, but not a whole lot, so please do not consider any of this to be completely factual.**

**I do not mean any offense when I have the Vietnamese soldiers speaking very little English. This is not to say they are not intelligent or anything of that sort. I figured they wouldn't have bothered to get a real translator for prisoners, only using what they knew.**

**This is **_**chock-full **_**of angst.**

**Not really a warning, but a heads-up. The intertwining stories of Max and our friends back home are not necessarily taking place at the exact same time. I will say that they are within weeks of each other, at the least.**

**Italics are generally thoughts.**

**--**

The moment Max heard the shot fired, he knew he was a dead man. The searing pain in his abdomen and his world starting to dim only confirmed his assumptions. He fell to the ground, clutching his wound and weakly calling out that he'd been hit. His spinning mind vaguely assured him that someone from his platoon would be there soon.

But instead of the gruff, firm voices of his privates above him, all he heard was frantic, angry voices speaking in what could only be Vietnamese. He tried again to call out for help, but his words caught in his dry throat. The last thing he saw, felt, and heard was something woven being thrown over his head and tied loosely around his neck before everything went dark.

He's not exactly sure where he woke up, but wherever it was, it was freezing. He tried to stretch a little as he pulled himself up from a laying position, only to double over at the throbbing pain somewhere along his ribcage. He managed to sit up a little, resting his back against something hard behind him. Looking down, a dirty rag had been wrapped around his midsection. It was badly stained with blood. Everything, at the moment, was hazy. Rubbing the grime out of his eyes, he took in his surroundings.

For one split second he thought he was back with his platoon as flaps of the tent he was in rustled in the breeze. But as his environment became clearer, his hope was dashed. A few squirrely-looking Vietcong were talking quietly amongst themselves over in a corner, two of them having their hands placed on the shoulders of something unknown to him. He wasn't sure what to do, but he knew making himself noticeable would not be a smart move. So he only watched.

Their jumbled babble finally ceased. There was a bit of murmuring, then a sound that Max had become far too accustomed to. The cocking of an M16. There was a brief silence before the single shot pierced the air, and a body fell to floor from within the group. Whoever the shooter was dropped the gun carelessly next to the body.

He could've sworn he didn't make a sound, but something caused them all to turn around and notice one of their prisoners was awake. They started to head toward him, but stopped when a voice outside the tent yelled what were presumably orders. They stood at attention for a moment, then left the tent, leaving Max alone with the recent victim.

Once he was sure they were gone and he thanked God or the Vietnamese lieutenant or whoever for taking the attention off of him, he scooted himself over towards the body.

The sight he saw made his stomach churn. It was a United States soldier; one could tell by the uniform, but the man barely looked human. Deep violet and scarlet wounds covered his face, maggots and other parasites feeding off of his flesh. From what one could make of his features, they were twisted up into one of complete agony. As his eyes tore away from the disgusting sight, he looked at the name on uniform. Robertson. That was one of his privates he thought he had lost in the field and had been missing for months.

Max's weak mind and stomach couldn't handle the horrible spectacle before him, and he turned to his side to vomit what little was in his belly. That only added to the pain from his ribcage. Once he was through, he took what was most likely the bag that had been thrown over Robertson's head and covered the dead private's head with it.

The bastards had put the kid through all that misery before they killed him. And they were likely to do the same with Max. But he would put a bullet through his own head before he went through all that.

Or would he? The thought of himself lying dead made the heartbroken faces of his friends appear in his mind. They didn't deserve to hear that kind of news, particularly when all of them had sacrificed many nights to make sure he was alright.

But then again, God knows what kind of nightmares he would have if he did come home alive. They didn't deserve that either.

_Let's just focus on getting out of here alive first, Carrigan_.

The sound of footsteps brought him out of his reverie. Five, decorated Vietnamese officers marched grandly into the tent. One of them must have been the lieutenant, two and two standing on either side of him.

The lieutenant spoke in his rapid-fire, native tongue, but Max could at least denote that his voice was angry. When the lieutenant paused for an answer, he merely shook his head. For as long as he'd been here, he still didn't know a lick of Vietnamese.

One of the lower-ranking soldiers, presumably sergeants, stepped forward. He pointed at the blonde.

"You…tell us…where Americans go," he said in very broken English.

This left Max puzzled. He could say Cambodia, but wouldn't they know that already? They had definitely fought Vietcong over there as well. He had no idea how long he had been here, but he figured there were only two places they could be. Cambodia or Vietnam, and he was sure they would know.

"I don't know," he replied, his voice raspy and barely audible. He shook his head slowly, to further explain his answer.

That seemed to thoroughly piss off his capturers, whose voices rose as two of them walked over to him. Forcefully shoving their arms underneath his armpits, they picked him up and dragged him out of the tent into one adjacent to it. Max knew it was no use to struggle. They threw him towards a large, round bucket, filthy water floating in it.

A hand grasped the nape of his neck and pushed his head underneath the surface. Another hand forced him to stay under. He couldn't believe how unbelievably cold this water was. He had gasped as the frigid liquid enclosed his head, causing him to swallow the murky water and choke. He struggled underneath the weight of the two people holding him down, but it was to no avail.

Just when it felt like drowning was inevitable, he was pulled back up, sputtering and wheezing for air. They gave him barely enough time to resume breathing before they grasped him again and repeated the ordeal.

Max lost count on how many times they did this to him. His head starting to spin and he didn't even bother to wipe the water out of his eyes. Finally, after what felt like hours of this treatment, he was thrown aside. He coughed up the water that filled his lungs, heaving and clutching his aching sides.

They picked him up again and dragged him back to his original tent, leaving him after they dropped him. Once he eventually could breathe normally, he shivered. A chilly air was howling around the camp (he assumed he was in a Vietcong camp). Usually, he would take as many layers off as he possibly could because of the relentless jungle heat, but now it was freezing.

He sat there, his arms folded tightly against his chest, never feeling as alone and frightened as he did now. Hot tears started to burn his eyes. Why did he have to be such a dumbfuck? He had seen the enemy closing in on them, but his normally sharp eye and trigger finger had failed him.

He couldn't help thinking that if Ellie was here, she probably would've told him to leave the worrying and crying to her. Lucy…Lucy would probably cry a little herself, but she would be the one who would stay with him until he was alright. And even when he was alright, she would stay. Jude would no doubt give him a lopsided grin and tell him he'd be damned if Max didn't get out of here alive.

Was it too much to ask to come home alive and see the people he loved? His mind was starting to think it was.

He refused to let any of his tears fall and brushed them away quickly. He never expected not paying attention to the horrific World War Two stories in his high school history class would come back to bite him in the ass. He chuckled bitterly to himself.

_Sorry, Mr. Starkey_ he thought. _If it's any consolation, look at me now._

Ellie rested her chin on her folded arms that laid on the edge of the crib, watching her little one's chest rise and fall. He was getting better about sleep, but unfortunately, that left her time to worry. It was kind of impossible not to when your son is the spitting image of your captured fiancé, even when he's not even a year old. Little Max is a constant reminder to her that there's a good possibility Max Sr. won't be coming home.

She was glad Sadie had taken her newborn when Lucy had informed her, or she probably would've dropped him. Things had been solemn ever since. Lucy and Jude walked on eggshells around her, which drove her insane. She knew they were afraid of a tearful outburst, but the short, meaningless conversations they had made her feel cut-off from them. Now she knew what Max had felt like.

She sighed, pulling herself up and padding into the other couple's bedroom. The two had gone out to dinner with the rest of the gang, but understandably, Ellie didn't feel like going out. They had tried to coax her, saying it would give her mind something else to think about, but her decision was firm. She made up a lame excuse that the little ones needed looking after, even though the nice old lady on the fifth floor would've been happy to babysit them.

After checking in on Michelle, she walked into the kitchen. Looking around, she picked up a sponge and began to clean. She scrubbed the sink, wiped the counters, even cleaned the cupboards. Not that she needed to. The other two living in the apartment hardly cared whether or not the kitchen was clean. Perhaps it was her OCD kicking in. Or perhaps she needed something, _anything_ to get her mind off of Max.

She wished she had sucked it up and gone out with her friends. She rarely saw them anymore, Jude and Lucy being exceptions, and with Sadie and Jo leaving soon, she should start making them more of a priority.

Once the room was spotless, she continued busying herself by making a pot of tea. After it was made, she poured the steaming liquid into a mug and sat down at the table. But even after going through all the work to make the tea, she suddenly didn't want it anymore.

She pushed the mug aside and dropped her head into her hands. Her insides had been so twisted up ever since she found out that she felt like she was going to vomit. And making tea and meticulously cleaning didn't let that feeling go away.

The door opened, and Jude and Lucy walked through. They took off their coats and, after seeing Ellie in the kitchen, shuffled in.

Jude gave her a kiss on the top of the head.

"What's wrong, luv?" he asked, although he already knew the answer.

Not to his surprise, her response was "Do you really not know?" He sighed, and she felt Lucy's supportive hand on her back.

"We brought you something from Katz's, because…we realized it's your birthday."

Ellie looked up in disbelief. Even when things were tough, she had never forgotten her birthday in her entire life. "Are you shitting me?"

The blonde laughed quietly. "No. We thought we were just confused, because most people don't forget their own birthday. But the more we thought about it…"

Ellie got up from the table to look at the calendar. Yep. It was October 15th.

She turned back to the table and opened the little white box that rested on top of it. A huge, beautifully decorated piece of cake was in it. Her lips curved upward in a smile.

"We're out of candles, I'm afraid, but we can still sing," Jude said. The couple broke into "Happy Birthday," ending nicely in harmony. She laughed a little and thanked her friends, pulling a fork out of the drawer and sitting down at the table.

"I'm not going to eat all of this, you know."

"Good, because I definitely plan on stealing some," the Englishman commented with a grin.

It felt a little awkward to eat her cake with her friends watching her, chins resting comfortably in their palms, but it was still nice to break the ice that had formed between them.

"I should probably know this," Lucy started after a while. ", but how old are you?"

Ellie actually had to think about it for a moment. "Twenty…five."

"Getting a bit long in tooth, eh?" Jude teased.

She gave him a shove. "Like you can talk. You'll be 26 before you know it."

"Touché."

"Damn…" she continued. "I'm actually going to start thinking about my health now…no more cigarettes, not that I crave nicotine that often anyway, no more eating whatever I want, no more drugs…"

"I think you don't have to lay off the drugs until 30."

Lucy gave her boyfriend a light slap. "We're going to have to start thinking about Michelle, Jude. Weed is hardly a healthy substance for a baby to be breathing."

"She's got a point, Judey."

The brunette crossed his arms and pouted. "I could really use my best mate to back me up right about now," he said, not thinking.

Ellie's smile faded and an uncomfortable silence settled in the kitchen. He groaned a little, running a hand through his hair.

"El…blimey, 'm sorry…"

"It's fine. He's not dead, so we're not going to talk about him like he is," she replied, more vigorously than she intended.

He nodded, but the light mood was lost. After taking a few more bites of Ellie's cake, both Jude and Lucy gave her a kiss on the cheek and headed off to bed. She sighed and dug the heels of her palms into her eyes. As much as she hated it, she was becoming more convinced that she would not be okay if Max did not come home.

**Wow. I'm a dead woman.**

**I really hate doing things to my Maxie, you know I do. So please do not kill me for making him suffer. **

**Please review!**


	32. It Won't Be Long

At first, Max started to count the days

**I know the action is happening fast here, but bear with me.**

**Happy reading!**

**--**

At first, Max started to count the days. As a sergeant, he had learned that if a soldier was missing, there were a certain number of days the platoon would look for him before he was considered a lost case. He couldn't remember off the top of his head how many days it was, but he knew it was in the area of a month or so.

But the days continued to pass, and no one came to his rescue. Somewhere around the 24th day, he stopped counting. He was a lost case.

He knew this was sick, but he started wishing the Vietcong would capture another soldier, giving him someone to keep him company. It would get his mind off the fact that either the war had to end in a week or two or the Vietcong would have to set him free for his survival. Neither of those seemed very likely.

They were barely keeping him functioning. Every day, he would get a pail of filthy water to drink, and every other day, a slab of moldy bread or a bowl of stale rice to eat. He had the feeling the wound in his abdomen was getting infected and starting to make him sick, because he ended up throwing up whatever he got. But he also knew that if he didn't eat what little he had, any hope of survival would be lost. So he would eat the meek offering and force himself to keep it down.

He didn't know why they were keeping him alive. After another week of shoving his head into icy water and punching him senseless, he still could not give them an answer. So, they gave up on him, only coming to him to give him the bare necessities.

Max sat in a small corner of the tent, never feeling so awful in his entire life. He was going to _die_. He had only felt a sliver of the fear he was feeling now the first time he came here. He knew he would make it out of the hospital. He knew eventually the lovely bullet hole he got the first time would fade to a scar. But now, the only thing that seemed certain was that he was not going to make it out of here alive.

And of all the places to die, he was dying in a fucking swamp.

He couldn't help but laugh. He laughed so hard that tears started to roll down his face. _You're insane_ his mind told him. But he didn't care anymore.

"Maxwell Carrigan…" he mumbled absently through his chuckles. "1945-1970. Died in a shit-hole of a swamp."

His giggles subsided when he heard multiple shots outside his tent. There was a brief silence, then a humongous explosion that shook the ground. He crawled to the opening of the tent and looked outside. The Vietcong camp was being invaded. Tents were engulfed in flames, Vietnamese soldiers with their faces half-melted off were running around wildly before being struck to the ground, and smoke was everywhere.

Max crawled back to his corner and hugged his knees to his chest. Part of him wanted to hope that it was the Americans, but he didn't know what to hope for anymore. The invasion continued for a couple more hours before someone came through the flaps of his tent.

He couldn't tell who the man was, or rather whose side he was on. He must not have seen him, as he was looking around, gun at the ready. The man stopped when someone yelled to him outside the tent. He responded, in a gruff voice, but also in English. The flood of relief that rushed through Max's body was overwhelming, almost to the point of breaking down into tears.

"Hey!" he cried out weakly. The man turned around, peered at him, then realized it was an American soldier. He walked over to him and knelt down to his level.

"Who are you, soldier?" he asked.

"Sergeant Maxwell Carrigan, 42nd platoon, sir."

The man chuckled. Max gazed down at his uniform. It was a lieutenant, not one he recognized though. "You're a lucky bastard, boy. People been thinking you were a dead man about a month ago."

He called over his shoulder that a prisoner had been found, and two privates came rushing through.

"Sergeant?" one of them said in disbelief. It was one of Max's privates, the one who had so rudely read his letter from home. Bill. "Holy shit…"

"What you standin' there for? Help the man up!" the lieutenant ordered, and immediately the two privates were at his side. Hooking their arms under his armpits, they brought him to his feet. Not to his surprise, Max couldn't walk by himself, so he slung his arms around the shoulders of the privates.

"Damn…we thought you were a goner ages ago…most of us got split up…"

Max chuckled feebly. "No more 'dumbass brigade', eh? That's a bummer…" He was surprised he still had the ability to crack jokes in his state.

"Yes, sir," he responded soberly, but his lips twitched upward in a smile.

"It's a bit of a walk to the chopper. You gonna make it?" the lieutenant asked.

"I don't think I got any other choice, sir."

They helped him out of the tent and slowly made their way out of the camp, Max leaning on them heavily. Even though his vision was hazy, he could still come to the conclusion that he wasn't in a camp at all. It was a village. The Americans had shot every last one of them, some of them Vietcong, most of them women and children. He almost stepped on the body of one woman. Her smoldering clothes clung pathetically to her pale form, her dark eyes open and wide in a state of shock, probably due to the neat, circular bullet hole between her eyebrows.

Max felt uneasily relieved. Sure, his life has been saved, at least for the moment, but at the price of so many others. It sounded like they hadn't come for him, but he still couldn't help but feel responsible for the massacre of these innocent civilians. He sort of understood why the Vietcong had captured him. They were desperate. Despite this being a war they were not losing, so many Vietnamese had died or worse. So they were punishing him for it. He never said it was right, but he understood why they did.

Dear Lord, did he just want to go home.

Finally, they came to the helicopter, a stretcher waiting for him. The privates gently assisted him into it, delicately lifting his legs onto the end and putting a blanket over him. The lieutenant leaned over him on his right.

"You got family, right? I assume with the same last name?"

"I don't give a fuck if my parents know…"

Well, that wasn't completely true, but there were other people who he wanted to know first.

"I got a girl…my fiancé in New York; my sister lives with her…"

"What are their names?"

"Lucy…Lucy Carrigan's my sister, Ellie Rigby's my girlfriend." Max couldn't believe how much it hurt to talk about them.

"We'll try to get a hold of them first. If we can't, we'll let your parents know."

He swallowed thickly. "Thanks, man."

He closed his eyes, horribly exhausted and ribs starting to ache again. He vaguely listened to the voices murmuring somewhere above him, probably talking about where to take him. He didn't care where they took him; sure, he would love to go home, but right now he'd go anywhere as long he wasn't here.

"Hey, Serg," Bill said, appearing somewhere above him. He held out an open palm. "Stay strong, man."

Max took his hand and gripped it tightly. "Thanks. You, too."

Bill gave him a small smile and loosened his grip, about to leave Max's sight. But the blonde had an afterthought and caught his arm.

"Private?"

"Yes, sir?" Bill said, turning.

"Do one thing for me. Don't die."

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

Jude stared at his sketchbook, tapping the worn charcoal against his desk impatiently. He had hit some sort artistic lull for the past couple weeks. Normally, his "art blocks" lasted a few hours, then something would come to him and off he'd go. But he had spent many hours, far too many, staring at his sketchbook trying to think of a new idea, and every time he came up with nothing, which was not good, since his salary was depending on his ideas.

He could only draw Lucy so many different ways. Then there was Michelle. Then Max. Then Ellie. Then when he got to Sadie, Rat told him to stop drawing people.

"The readers don't want to see something they see 24 hours a day," the editor-in-chief had said snottily. "Think of something…_exciting!_ Something…_avant-garde!_ Something that jumps right off the page."

He had had the strong urge to tell the asshole to draw his own bloody cover art, but of course he merely nodded. Now, two weeks later, he still had nothing and the cover art was due in three days.

Michelle woke from her nap and began to cry, and Jude blessed her for giving him something else to do rather than get increasingly frustrated. He got up from his desk and walked over to the crib, pulling her out of it and trying to shush her.

"Shh…it's alright, luv. Dad's here," he whispered.

He made the dreaded, but necessary diaper check, and to his relief, it still felt dry. That was certainly one thing he was never going to get used to. Because of the dry diaper and the recent nap, he figured that his little one must be hungry.

He took her out of their bedroom and through the living room, where Ellie was giving Max Jr. his bottle. She looked up at the disturbance and smiled warmly at him as he shuffled into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle with one hand.

"Mind if we join you?" he asked as he returned to the living room.

"Not at all," she replied, scooting over to the far end of the couch to let him sit down.

He sighed as he looked at his Michelle drinking her bottle, shaking his head and smiling a little.

"If yeh would've told me three years ago that I'd have a little one to take care of, I would've thought yeh were loony."

"Same here."

"Do you go back to work soon?"

"Unfortunately. I didn't think I'd become this attached so quickly, but shit…I hate leaving him here."

"You know I'll keep an eye on the little bugger," he said, grinning down at his (hopefully) future nephew. "Just so long as he don't spit up on me, I'll be fine."

The phone rang and Ellie motioned to Jude that she'd get it. He took little Max from her and she got up from the couch, walking over to the apartment phone.

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is the Offices of the United States Army. Is this an Eleanor Rigby or a Lucy Carrigan?"

Her heart began to pound. "This is Eleanor Rigby."

"Hello, Ms. Rigby. We understand that you are betrothed to Sergeant Maxwell Carrigan of the 42nd Platoon, am I correct?"

"Yes, sir." She hated the fact that this could either be wonderful news or horrific news, and nothing in between.

"As I'm sure you know, he was captured about two months ago by Vietcong, and we are pleased to inform you that he was found alive."

She was glad there was a chair right under for her to fall into; otherwise, she probably would've fallen to the floor.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," she mumbled under breath, her head dropping into her free hand.

"He was not in stable enough condition to fly back to the United States, so he was flown to a hospital in London where he will be treated. Assuming he is good enough condition, he will then be sent home."

"Is he alright?"

"We are not completely up to date on his condition, but we heard word from the doctors that he is expected to be fine."

She bit her lip to keep herself from breaking down right there. "Thank you…so much, sir. Really."

"Of course, ma'am. We will try to be in contact with you when we have more information."

"Thank you."

She got up to hang up the phone, put it in its cradle, then fell against the wall. She wasn't quite sure why she didn't feel overwhelmingly joyful. He was coming _home_. Alive. She should be thanking her lucky stars right now, and she was. But it was more an unbelievable sense of relief than anything else.

"Everything alright, El?" Jude called from the living room. Knowing he couldn't leave, she sighed and shuffled slowly into the doorframe of the living room, where she stopped for a moment and sighed heavily. That's all she could really do at the moment, which worried the Englishman.

"What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" For the first time in almost two months, she genuinely laughed. "Nothing…nothing at all…" She ran a hand through her hair and shrugged, still dubious at the situation. "They found Max and he's coming home."

A smile started to tug at his lips. "I knew the bugger couldn't hide forever…wow, that's…that's great. When is he coming home?"

She sighed again as she walked to the couch and plopped down next to him. "They're not sure. He's not in wonderful condition, so he's getting treatment in London right now. But he's expected to be okay, and when he's well enough, they'll send him back to the States."

He nodded, then put a hand on her shoulder as he noticed she still looked a little shell shocked. "You okay?"

She nodded after a moment and swallowed thickly. "Yeah…yeah…yeah."

He smiled and gave little Max back to her, taking Michelle into the kitchen with him. She looked down at her baby, looking into those cobalt eyes so similar to his father's.

"It won't be long, yeah…yeah…yeah…" she sang softly as she smiled, not caring, for once, how God awful she sounded or off-key she was.

**See?**

**I brought him back.**

**Though it is probably more realistic to kill off Max, I simply could not bring myself to do it. I just couldn't.**

**So, I'll be returning the various objects, sharp utensils, and virtual fish thrown at me soon. xD.**

**Please review.**


	33. Hello, Goodbye

**So you know how I said a few chapters ago that this wouldn't be forty chapters long?**

**Not so sure about that anymore. xD**

**Hopefully, that's not a problem.**

**Well, I'll say it won't be **_**more**_** than forty chapters long.**

Max was getting really sick of hospitals. They had that staggering smell of antiseptic that made his head spin after a while and no one ever seemed very happy in them. He wasn't asking that the nurses whip out big flowers and start gaily dancing around his bed, but a smile every once and a while would be nice.

But there was an upside. Nurses are sexy. _English_ nurses are sexier. Maybe it's the accent, but he grins stupidly every time they open their mouth. Oh, he knows he's not a bachelor anymore and that he's got a fiancé and a kid back home who are very anxious to see him. He doesn't plan on cheating on Ellie; the nurses may be sexy, but they aren't worth losing her. They certainly are nice to look and listen to, however, and he can't ignore his testosterone fueled brain.

One of them came up to him, her scarlet bob being true to its name and bobbing up and down every time she took a step. Putting a hand on his leg, she said:

"You've got a visitor, love."

He furrowed his brows in confusion. He couldn't think of anyone he knew in England besides the one obvious person, and he was pretty sure he wouldn't have means of getting here. Judey was a starving artist, of course. Or at least a poor one.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"I didn't ask," she said apologetically. "But I do know it's a woman."

That didn't help him at all. He didn't respond for a moment, racking his brains about this mystery woman.

"Want me to tell her you don't want to be disturbed at this time?" the nurse suggested.

"No…" His curiosity had been piqued, so he certainly wasn't going to let it go now. "Bring her in."

She nodded and walked back towards the lobby. The mystery woman who came to him a short time later was probably in her late forties, a blue scarf wrapped around her head, though chocolate brown hair was visible underneath it. She was petite, and looked a little awkward as she shuffled up towards the edge of his bed. A white envelope was in her hands.

"Hello," she said politely, if not uncomfortably. "You're…you're Max, right?"

He nodded.



"Good. Well, I have a few things for you. I would've brought them here sooner, but it was difficult to leave all of a sudden; I only got them yesterday…"

"Umm…I'm not sure how else to put this, but…who are you?"

"Oh! Good heavens…" She smiled a little bit. "Forgive me. Jude Feeney's my son and I understand you're good mates."

He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed the thick Liverpudlian accent and the fact they had the same eyes and hair color. "Yeah, we are."

Her smile grew. "I've heard a lot about you."

He chuckled. "Good things, I would hope."

"Of course. Anyway, Jude sent this to me and gave me the address of the hospital so I could give it to you. He said it was important."

She handed him the envelope and he took it, delicately sitting himself up against the headboard of his bed. He opened it and a letter and two pictures fell out of it. He picked up the letter first.

It read, in Jude's untidy scrawl:

_Hey, mate,_

_Yeah, I know, I'm not the one you want to hear from. But El said you hate letters and she and Max will wait until you come back home. Max is your son, by the way, and it's pretty bloody obvious. The tyke's about as stubborn as you are, and I fear the day when he starts talking and walking. The world better be prepared._

_You've got a niece, too. Mate, she's so beautiful, you've got to see her. Hence the reason I sent pictures. _

_Sadie and Jo are leaving New York for good in a couple days; they've got a good chance of making it big down in Chicago. Sades says she loves you, babydoll, and that she's going to miss keeping your crazed head in one place (but that's what El's for, right?) and Jo simply says stay strong, man._

_I'm sure Pru would send her love if she was here. She and Rita went through some shit and, as always, she's dropped off the face of the earth for a couple weeks. Should be home by the time you get here though. _

_Everything's pretty normal around here, El's bitching about going back to work, Max is refusing to eat his dinner as always, I'm still fucking your sister…not much has changed with the exception of the two little ones. _

_I miss you, mate. Come back in one piece this time, alright?_

_Jude_

_P.S. I still haven't proposed._

Not much has changed? That was the understatement of the year. Seems like just about everything had changed while Max was gone, and it was a bit overwhelming to hear the whole thing in a few paragraphs.

Sadie and JoJo were leaving?! Something was just horribly wrong with that, and New York would always be a little less vibrant without the two of them there. She had always said she would never give in to the hype and wouldn't change to meet the producers' expectations, but he guessed if she had a good opportunity, she would take it.

His head still spun at the thought of him being a father. And the fact that the kid apparently looked and acted just like him. He never really thought about parenting before, and he wasn't sure he would make a wonderful father. But who knows? Maybe the father thing would grow on him. And he had to choose one person to have a child with, Ellie would certainly be his choice.

At least Jude's dry wit and tentativeness towards his sister hadn't changed.

He picked up the two pictures and looked at the first one. It was Ellie bending over and holding tightly onto Max Jr.'s hands as he tried to walk across the hardwood floor in their apartment. Both of them were smiling. At the bottom, it said:

_Ellie and Max, 5 months_

He hated to admit it, but the picture tugged at his heartstrings a little bit. The kid was cute, what could he say? Well, of _course_ he was cute if he looked just like his father.

He then looked at the other picture and couldn't help but snort. It was his sister taking a nap on the couch, long, sundrenched locks falling in front of her face, and her newborn sleeping in her arms. She had dark brown hair like her father, but her facial features looked a bit more like Lucy's. At the bottom, it said:

_Lucy and Michelle taking a snooze_

While reading the letter and looking at the pictures, he had completely forgotten Mrs. Feeney had been standing there the whole time. She didn't seem to mind.

"I couldn't help opening the envelope," she said after a while. "I didn't read the letter, but I looked at the pictures…the little ones are beautiful, aren't they?"

He nodded, then looked up at her and smiled. "Thanks for, uh…bringing me this…it helps."

"Of course, love. It's no problem at all. Just promise me you won't leave that pretty girl of yours alone with a new son…alright?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."



She nodded, gave him a pat on the leg, then left. He sighed and looked at the pictures again, wishing he get out of this fucking hospital and go back to where he belonged.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Well, I think that's everything."

Ellie sighed as she bounced little Max on her hip. Sadie and Jo had just piled all of their things into a taxi and were about to head out to JFK for their flight to Chicago. None of them could see them off at the airport because all of them had to go to work as soon as they were done saying their goodbyes.

Sadie went over to Ellie, but firstly directed her attention towards Max Jr. She smirked a little and ruffled his growing blonde hair.

"Don't get into too much trouble, alright? I'm not sure the world is prepared for two Max Carrigans yet."

He grinned and burbled happily as she kissed his cheek. She then let Ellie embrace her with her free arm.

"Thanks for everything, Sades…I'm not sure what we're going to do without you."

"Oh, I'm not that far away, I'll still be able to keep an eye on you all. Now, I want you to call as soon as you know when the wedding is. We're your reception band. No ifs, ands, or buts."

"Trust me, that's one thing I knew I wouldn't have to worry about."

They shared a quick kiss and released each other. JoJo came up right behind her to give Ellie a hug.

"Stay strong, baby girl. And try to keep that crazy boy of yours under control."

"Which one?"

They both laughed, embraced one last time, then released each other.

"You be good to your mom and dad, alright?" Sadie said to little Michelle, who giggled as the songstress rubbed her nose affectionately against hers. She kissed her cheek, said her goodbyes to Lucy and Jude, then waited by the taxi while JoJo finished his goodbyes.

They both got in the taxi and waved sadly as the cab sped away from the curb towards the airport. Sadie sighed and indignantly brushed away tears that wanted to fall. Jude, Lucy, Ellie, Max, Prudence and the rest of her tenants had become more than her friends. They had been her family for the past four years. Almost her children, as she felt like the mother hen, making sure everyone was alright and taking care of things.

She didn't worry about Jude and Lucy. Their child had cemented their relationship, and now all that had to be done was the Englishman proposing. She smiled, thinking of him being frightened she would say no when that simply wasn't going to happen. She was surprised they had stuck together this long, 

figuring that they would realize they weren't as meant to be as they thought. But they certainly seemed devout to each other, and she knew their marriage would be a happy one.

She was a bit more worried about Max and Ellie. How _those_ two had stayed together had to be from the blessing of some higher power. They were the prime example of the phrase: "opposites attract." Starting out on complete different ends of the social spectrum, they had sort of compromised their personalities to a point where they didn't drive each other totally insane. She still wasn't sure how well Max was going to adjust to the parenting thing. The boy (he really was still a boy, sometimes. With man problems.) was growing up faster than he thought and was clinging desperately to the last bit of young adulthood for as long as he could, while Ellie was forced with the job of dragging him towards adulthood and an important thing called _responsibility._ He was going to have to give up a lot for her. But there was no doubt how much he loved her, and how much she loved him. His eventual willingness, her patience, and, of course, their child, would be what kept them going strong.

She was most worried about Prudence. Her darling little Pru never seemed satisfied with anyone. When Lucy had informed her all those years ago that she was crushing on her big time, she didn't know what to do. She certainly didn't want to break her heart and tell her flat-out no; that would be awful for both of them. But she couldn't tell her yes, either, considering she didn't exactly swing that way. She had come to the conclusion that if Prudence asked her, she would assure her that she loved her with all her heart. Just not the way she wanted her to.

When she met Rita at Mr. Kite's circus, Sadie was ecstatic and hoped that this would solve the problem. It did temporarily. But Rita was as much a free spirit as Prudence was, and after a few months of heavy dating, she would feel tied down. She always thought it was where they lived or what their jobs were or who their friends were. So she would change, pleading Prudence to change with her. And even though it bugged the shit out of her, she would follow her, thinking Rita was the only person who loved her the way she wanted her to.

Well, eventually, even free-spirited Pru got sick of it after coming and going so many times. She refused to change for her anymore. They got in a huge fight, and Rita didn't end up leaving. So Prudence did. Sadie knew she would be back before too long and just hoped whoever she was staying with was treating her right. She also hoped that she would either iron things out with Rita, but not compromise too much, or find someone who could love her for Prudence.

The unwanted tears slowly trickled down her face, and she now let them fall. JoJo looked over at her and gripped her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"No one ever said this was going to be easy, mama. But it's what we gotta do."

She nodded, sniffed a little, then smiled. "Thank God I'm doing this with you."

**The last line was actually said by Dana Fuchs when she was talking about Martin Luther McCoy and working with him in the movie. The two of them together are so similar to Sadie and JoJo that I had to just put that line in.**

**Lately, all my reviewers seemed to have left me, which makes me very sad. Yes, thank you to the few of you who have continuously reviewed, but I miss the rest of you!**

**So, please, REVIEW!**


	34. Love Is Old, Love Is New

Ellie tried to stop herself from grinning, but it was impossible

**I love you all.**

**Seriously.**

**I was very excited when I got three reviews two hours after I posted the last chapter. And then they just kept coming.**

**I've gotten over 200 reviews, which is a record for me, and –sniff- I would just like to thank you all for making it happen, and the Academy…**

**-ahem-**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a nice, happy one, I promise!0**

**--**

Ellie tried to stop herself from grinning so much, but it was impossible. She bounced Max on her hip, occasionally giving him a kiss on the nose. She wasn't sure how much longer she could wait.

The day had finally come. Max Sr.'s flight had just arrived in JFK airport, and of course, she, Jude, Lucy, and Prudence were waiting for him, their respective children in tow. He had recovered well enough to be out of the hospital, though he was still supposed to go to the doctor regularly once he got back in the United States, and was picked up by a group of soldiers being sent home in London.

"El," Jude said, tapping her shoulder and pointing down the hall. Boys clad in the unmistakable Army Greens had begun to file out from the terminal, the squeals of joy from their loved ones already starting to fill the air. She knew it was selfish, but she wanted to be the first one he saw. _I am his girlfriend, for God's sake_ she thought to herself. _Let me be selfish._ So she handed Max Jr. over to Lucy, who took him with understanding, and began to wander through the sea of soldiers. There were so many, it was hard to catch even a glimpse of their faces. But she persisted, even stopping a few and asking if they had seen him.

Suddenly, something was pulled over eyes. She must have jumped about five feet in the air, to which whomever had done the deed chuckled wickedly. That laugh was all it took, and her assumptions were confirmed by the long arms wrapping around her waist that turned her around, the hands that pushed up the brim of the cap, and the bright blue eyes that met hers.

"Couldn't resist it," he stated, shrugging a little and smiling widely.

She came close to tackling Max to the ground, but at least he was ready. She gripped him tightly and her eyes started to burn with tears of relief. When she finally let him go, he must have kissed her a thousand times before he pressed his forehead to hers, smiled, and said "God, I missed you."

"I missed you, too," she choked, tears running freely down her face now.

He kissed her again, then held her firmly, laughing a little as she continued to sob into his chest.

"Jeez...the out-of-whack hormones must have stuck around after the pregnancy, huh?"

"Shut up," she mumbled into his shirt. "I'm only crying due to the lack of sexual activity I've had to suffer while you've been gone," she added sardonically.

He laughed and sighed loudly. "If it's any consolation, the feeling's mutual."

She sniffed, starting to relax a little bit. "Good. We'll have plenty of things to do once we get home." He squeezed her again, so hard that her feet left the floor for a moment.

He looked good for what he had been through. He had lost quite a bit of weight; she didn't think that he could possibly get any skinnier, and that worried her just a little. But at least he was smiling, and at least he was _here_. She could worry later.

"I can't believe you put your own fucking pregnancy in the _P.S._ of a letter!" he exclaimed, pulling away but still grinning like mad.

She brushed away the last of her tears and shrugged. "I was testing you…to see if you would actually read the letter in its entirety." That wasn't the real reason, of course, but she wasn't in the mood to go into any more detail.

He groaned and shook his head, remembering it took one of his privates to make him read the entire letter, but she didn't have to know that. He draped an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head and burying his face into her neck.

"Have I said that I missed you like crazy and that I love you?" she said after a while.

"Yes, but you can continue to say it."

"Good, 'cause I might say it a couple dozen more times."

"We should probably head back towards the others…they want to see you, too," she continued. He rolled his eyes with mock annoyance and huffed.

"_Fine_, if we must," he muttered, but he couldn't hide a smile. He kept his arm draped over her shoulder as they walked back towards their friends. Jude was the first person he greeted, pulling him in for a firm embrace.

"Good to have you back, mate."

"Well, surprisingly, it was your letter that brought me back. Otherwise, I would've stayed in England, you know…I must say," he continued, lowering his voice. "You do have some attractive women across the pond."

"Ah, ah, ah…" the Englishman scolded. "You can't be thinking those things anymore."

"Neither could you had you not been a pussy and asked my sister to marry you…"

"What was that?" Lucy questioned from their right. The two released each other, exchanged glances, but luckily the elder Carrigan began to laugh.

"Nothing, sister dearest. And I would give you a hug if you weren't burdened with children. I'll get to them in a minute."

With that said, Ellie took Max Jr. out of one of her arms, and Jude took Michelle out of the other. Max hugged his sister tightly, brushing his lips against the top of her head.

"Missed ya, sis," he said as he pulled away, seeing that her cerulean eyes so similar to his were filled with happy tears.

"Missed you, too."

He then went over to Prudence, who had seemed a bit out of the loop ever since he had arrived. He enveloped her in a bone crushing embrace.

"Still hung up on me?"

"Har har," she replied, giving him a little shove. "I actually wish it were you I was hung up on, but never mind me right now. You've got more important things to catch up on, particularly with the little ones. And I think you should be seeing them instead of me."

She let him go and gestured over to them with encouragement. He looked back at her and made a face of worry that was partly sarcastic and partly not. Prudence knew full well he had greeted all the adults first because he was afraid of meeting his newborn son. But she continued to smile and gave him a small push over to where Ellie, little Max in her arms, was waiting.

He bent down a little so that he'd be eye to eye with him, cocking his head to the side. The two of them just stared at each other for a few moments; it was probably the longest Max Sr. had ever gone without saying anything in his entire life.

"Cute kid…" he finally mumbled after a while, a trace of a smile tugging at his lips. It was almost funny how hard Max was trying to be casual about the whole thing, and how miserably he was failing. And Ellie took that to be a very good sign.

"Max…" she said to the smaller one of the two, placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. "This is your dad."

Max Jr. looked at his father again and reached out his tiny little hand.

"Hey, squirt," Max said. "How's it goin'?"

The infant grinned and bounced excitedly in Ellie's arms. She looked up at her fiancé for a moment.

"You want to hold him for a while?"

She knew by the silence that followed that it wasn't that he didn't want to; he was afraid to. But, being Max, of course he wouldn't admit it. She laughed a little.

"He likes you, Max. I promise."

"Well, of course he does, who wouldn't?" he replied as he took his son into his arms. He momentarily turned back to Ellie, took his cap that had been on her head, and put it on Max Jr.'s head. Of course, it was far too big for him and brim came well past his chin, but little Max merely giggled, trying to figure out how the world had suddenly gone dark.

The grin that had been playing at Max's lips finally grew and he reached over to take the hat back, only for his son to emit a thwarted yelp when he did so.

"Alright, alright, be blind, what do I care…" he mumbled, putting the hat back on his head.

Lucy, who had been watching from a few feet back, smiled and rested her head on Jude's shoulder. She was eager for her brother to meet his niece, but she simply could not interrupt what was happening at the present moment.

He had continued to mess around with his son, forgetting that anyone else was there, and the rest of the friends just stood there and watching, grinning from ear to ear. Finally, he noted the silence and glanced around sheepishly.

"What?"

"You two are cute, that's all," Prudence replied.

"Oh…well, erm…" Ellie giggled and walked toward him, wrapping an arm around his waist and giving his cheek a kiss.

"Let's go home, shall we?"

He nodded and the group turned and headed down the hallway. While they were walking, Lucy introduced her brother to his niece, to which he leaned backwards and gave her growing head of hair a ruffle.

They all piled into a cab and went home, putting the little ones down for a nap and getting a babysitter while the adults had a small homecoming celebration at Café Huh?

"I hope you weren't expecting a huge parade or anything," Ellie commented as she sipped her drink by the bar.

"Well, I've got my drinks." Max raised his glass and took a sip. "I've got my girl," He bumped her lightly with his hip. "The only thing that could possibly make this better is weed, but I suppose I can wait a little longer."

She opened her mouth to bring up the fact about possibly laying off the drugs for a while because of their child, but closed it. She could let him have a night to do whatever he wanted (well, within some reason).

The moment they walked in the door to their apartment, Max slid off his shirt, wrapped his arms around Ellie's waist, and forcefully began to push her towards the direction of their bedroom. Jude, Lucy, and Pru were relatively unfazed, but their babysitter, a thirteen-year old girl who lived on the fourth floor, looked utterly bewildered and a little violated.

"Sorry about him," Jude said, taking her by the shoulders and directing her towards the door, paying her just before he shut the door. He figured it would be best to get her out of there before she saw anything more.

"Well, it looks like we won't be having her as a babysitter anymore," Lucy sighed as she collapsed into the couch. "Nice going, you two."

But the reunited couple was already in their bedroom as the rest of the hippies merely got a glance of the door shutting behind them. They all exchanged exasperated glances, but smiled nonetheless.

After making some much needed love, Ellie took the soft, blue quilt that covered their small bed, draped it over her shoulders and wrapped it around her bare frame as she walked over to Max Jr.'s crib, where he was peacefully sleeping.

She sighed and relaxed her arms on the edge of the crib, a smile tugging at her lips. For the first time that year, she felt completely at peace.

She felt a chin rest on her shoulder and lips kiss her cheek. She leaned into Max a little, letting her body fall against his, and closed her eyes. He would never know how grateful she was that he was _here_ and _alive_.

"What made you name him after me?" he asked

"It wasn't actually my idea, I'm afraid…I don't even remember whose it was, but we all sort of came to a mutual agreement that that would be the best name for him."

"Well, congratulations, you got at least one thing right."

She gave him a deserved jab in the ribs with her elbow for that statement, to which he chuckled softly and assured: "I was kidding…I was kidding…"

They resumed their earlier position and stayed there in comfortable silence.

"Hey, El?" he started after a while.

"Mm?"

"You want to elope?"

"Sure, why not?" she replied, thinking that he was kidding. But to her surprise, he took her by the shoulders so that they faced each other and sure enough, his eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"I know you think I'm shitting you, but I'm completely serious. You want to?"

She raised a questioning eyebrow. "Even if I wanted to, who is going to marry us at 1:00 in the morning?"

He grinned widely. "Atlantic City, baby!"

She snorted, shaking her head. "You're crazy."

"I know I am, but come on, it'll be fun! Then we'll get the wedding out of the way…"

"Well, as much as _you_ hate the idea of dressing up and having a big ceremony, some of us would actually like to make a big deal out of this…and that includes others besides me."

"Such as?"

"Our friends…our _parents_, whom we at least owe a big occasion to fuss over."

He scrunched his nose up in the thought, stroking his stubble. "Tell you what…I'm going to kick myself for this, but…we elope, once we come back, you and Lucy and all your girl friends can plan a celebration or something and do whatever you want to do. Deal?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Deal," she said finally with a hint of a wince, thinking she had no idea what she was getting herself into.

Max jumped up and clapped his hands together as if he were five years old, then took her hand over their chest of drawers. He began to dig through the drawers, handing her various clothing items, as if she couldn't do it herself. She merely watched and took the clothes in bewildered amusement, slipping them on one by one.

Once they were fully dressed, he pulled out a duffel bag from their closet and stuffed two shirts, two pairs of jeans, their quilt, a pillow, and a wad of cash that came out of nowhere. She pointed at it questioningly.

"Finally won a good round of poker," he said, grinning a little. He again took her by the hand and led her out the door into the kitchen, where he put a bottle of Jack Daniels and a couple beers into the duffel bag. After he grabbed Jude's old corduroy cap off the coat rack (he had become its unofficial owner since the Englishman rarely wore it anymore), he looked at Ellie.

"Ready?" he said.

"Read-…shit…we forgot about Max," she remembered, smacking her forehead.

"_Shit_…"

"Well, we can't really bring him with us…"

An idea dawned on him and he looked around for a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling a note on it. Once he was finished, he plopped it down on the kitchen table. She picked it up and read it.

"_Me and El went out, do you mind looking after Max Jr.? Much love, Max…_?" she read off the note with a bit of disdain.

"Hey…" He shrugged. "You can add we owe you one at the bottom if you want to."

"_We_ owe you?" she muttered, but added it anyway. She did one final glance towards their bedroom.

"You're sure he'll be alright?"

"He'll be _fine_, El…it's only what…five more hours until Luce has to get up for work anyway? And then Jude and Pru should be around for the day and we'll be back by tomorrow night…so he's set."

"…Okay…" she said. Maybe it was just the way he said it, but his statement was decently assuring. So she took his hand again and headed out the door with him, not knowing what kind of ride she was in for.

- --

**I don't know about you all, but it seemed very "Max-like" for them to elope the second he got home.**

**Glad I thought of it twenty-four hours ago. xD**

**So, again, thank you for being amazing and reviewing the last chapter. KEEP IT UP and review this one too!**

**Oh, and as we're on the home stretch of the story here, the last chapters will generally be happy ones.**


	35. Ticket to Ride

**So, I actually wanted this to take place in Vegas, but I needed to have them there and back in one day, so Atlantic City was what it ended up being.**

**And of course their "wedding" is very a la Graceland Chapel. xD**

Ellie shook her head in wonder for probably the fiftieth time that early morning as she saw the bright lights of Atlantic City reflect off the taxi window. Max still had the keys to one of the cabs, so after a short walk to the taxi company building, they loaded their things into one of them and headed off. It was about a two and a half hour drive there, so they got into the city around 2:45 that morning.

He parked the cab in a small parking lot towards the end of the boardwalk and after gathering their things, he smiled warmly at Ellie, wrapped an arm around her waist, and the two of them strolled down the boardwalk, following the increasing number of lights. She shivered a little as a light wind began to blow, thinking it wasn't smart of them to not have brought any winter coats. It was the middle of November, after all, but she assured herself that they would figure something out.

They got into the heart of the city, mostly a strip parallel to the boardwalk. Despite it being almost three in the morning, everything was bustling with life and there were a surprising number of people out and about, most of them drunk or high out of their minds. Ellie thought no one could possibly hold their liquor worse than East Villagers, but she now stood corrected. Or, at least, the hammered East Villagers she had encountered were more graceful than these stumbling young things, vomiting in the nearest trashcan (if they made it there) and then bumping into multiple people as they wandered around the streets. She watched them in amusement, graciously getting out of their way if they ran into her.

"Just out of curiosity, do you know where we're going?" she asked him after a while as it seemed they were heading in no particular direction. He snorted and glanced at her dubiously.

"Of course not…babe, you think I planned on doing this?"

"Good point." Though she had said that, she got that look of hers that told him she was worried, but trying hard to hide it. He sighed and gave her a squeeze.

"We'll find it, don't worry."

They did eventually, a tiny building at the very end of the strip, with a big, flashing neon sign that read: "The Chapel of LOVE." They walked in, coming to a front lobby of some sort where a weary, middle-aged woman was manning the front desk.

"Welcome to the Chapel of Love, how may I help you this morning?" she stated, yawning.

"Well, we'd, uh…liked to get married."

She sighed, reached underneath the counter, and pulled out a clipboard. "Here's the necessary paperwork, please fill everything out. This will cost you 50."



He nodded and filled out the form, which happened to be just a marriage license. Once it was signed, they handed it back to the woman along with the payment. She asked for both their identifications and whether they were both positive they wanted to be married. When they nodded, Ellie couldn't help but add:

"I'm guessing we're the most sober people who've through come here today, am I right?"

The woman raised her eyebrows and tsked as a gesture of agreement. She came out from behind the desk and led them into the back room, or the "chapel." There they were greeted by the most awful Elvis impersonator they had ever seen, tight, flashy outfit and all. But at least he was a friendly, awful Elvis impersonator. After having Ellie put on a ridiculously large veil and hold a tiny bouquet of plastic flowers, he directed Max to the end of the aisle where he was to stand at the altar, then took her arm and marched her grandly down the aisle while crooning a horrific rendition of "Love Me Tender."

It took about all of Max's strength not to burst into hysterics. The veil was clearly too big for Ellie's head, as it was sliding down the right side of her face, and the warbling of the mock Elvis was the icing on the cake. At least the feeling was mutual, as it seemed she was biting on her lip so she wouldn't laugh. The mock crooner handed her to her fiancé, then took his place at the altar.

"_Alright_, ladies and gentleman, I'm afraid we lost our preacher about two days ago-"

"Oh! That's awful," Ellie commented sympathetically. He slid the aviators he was wearing down the end of his nose and winked at her suavely.

"Not like that, darlin', we mean he got a bad case of food poisoning and has been out ever since then. So, I'll be presiding over the ceremonies today. Don't worry, I was a pastor for a couple years down in Tennessee, so I'm fully authorized."

The two lovers exchanged amused glances, but continued on with the ceremony. It was as strange and short as they expected, but after they had said their vows and become officially husband and wife, the impersonator dropped the act for a moment.

"That's a sweet girl you got there, boy," he said to Max in a lazy southern drawl. "I'm hopin' this ain't all you got planned for her."

"Nah, we'll have a big shebang when we get home and she gets to do _whatever she wants_," he replied, glancing over at his new bride subjectively.The man laughed.

"Good, good. Now go out and do something nice with your new wife. Congratulations." He smiled at them and shook Max's hand.

"Thanks, man." He then scooped up Ellie into his arms and began to take her out of the chapel, Ellie grinning broadly the whole way. She even tossed the fake bouquet into the air with flourish. When she realized she still had that outlandish veil on her head, she called out behind her:

"Hey! Do you still want your veil?"



"You can keep it…it's a wedding gift," the impersonator replied with a chuckle.

Max carried her all the way through the city, down the boardwalk, and out to the beach, where he laid her down in the sand. She carefully pulled the veil out of her hair and tossed it next to the duffel bag.

"Well, as strange as that was, it was pretty much worth it."

"Good," he said, plopping down next to her. "Even if I knew it wouldn't have been worth it, I still would've dragged you here."

"Mmm…that's what you think."

He chuckled, then suddenly stopped, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates.

"Fuck…" he started, as if the thought just hit him. "I'm…_married._"

"Yeah, I know," she tittered. "Crazy, isn't it?"

"Just a little bit. But I have the feeling that I made the right choice," he replied, grinning at her crookedly and nudging her with his elbow.

Just as a breeze came off the crashing ocean waves, she clutched the thin jacket she had worn tightly around her frame and began to shiver.

"Cold?" he asked. She nodded slowly, wondering if he had realized the blatancy of his question. Nevertheless, he pulled out the quilt from his duffel bag and wrapped it around her shoulders. She sighed blissfully as the cozy fabric began to warm her up. She looked over at Max, about to thank him, when she noticed he had also begun to shiver. She groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Let me guess…you only brought one blanket."

He shot her a sheepish grin. She sighed, shrugged off the blanket, and laid it down across the sand, to which they both moved to sit on it. She then looped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest, mumbling:

"We'll keep each other warm then."

The two settled into a comfortable silence, content with only hearing the ebb and flow of the tide against the soft sand and the faint sounds of the city behind them for a while. Before she felt herself drifting off, she said:

"You are never leaving me like that again. I don't care if we have to run away to Canada so you won't have to. You are _not_ leaving."

"Babe, I seriously doubt-"

"It doesn't matter."



He normally would've laughed at her unyielding determination when it was highly unlikely he would be reenlisted, but he realized how agonizing his prisoner of war experience must have been on her. He certainly would've felt the same had he been in her position. He remembered before he had left yelling at her that she didn't understand and how she was trying to make everything perfect, and now feeling incredibly guilty. He knew he had always been somewhat of a burden, even though she would profusely deny it, but he hadn't really thought about how difficult the war must have been for her. He kept forgetting that she had lost her brother in the war, and how it must have felt to find out someone else she loved might end up in the same predicament. So, he understood that she needed to hear that neither of them would be put into five more months of hell.

"Okay," he finally responded, kissing the top of head and resting his chin there.

Ellie squinted as stark rays of sunlight hit her eyelids. She yawned and stretched, but immediately curled into a ball when the icy wind hit her bare skin. Rubbing her eyes a little, she looked down and remembered she was completely stripped of her clothes, as was Max, who was still sleeping peacefully next to her, and that she had been covered by the quilt sleeping bag style until she had moved to stretch.

By the height of the sun in the sky, it must have been 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning. Luckily, their spot had been between two large sand dunes, so neither their crazy amount of love-making six hours before nor their bare forms were completely out in the open. She figured she ought to get dressed, but simply couldn't bring herself to shed the warm layer. She tried a few times, failed, then eventually groaned and fell back into a laying position.

"What is it, El?" asked her husband, who was awake, though his eyes remained closed.

"I'm thinking we should get dressed, since we'll be caught by unsuspecting tourists soon, but it's too damn _cold._"

"Just a minute…" he mumbled before stretching a little bit and shaking his head to clear it. "I'll throw on some clothes right here and then I'll hold up the blanket so you can change."

He reached over to where he had left his clothes in a pile, grabbing his boxers then looking over at Ellie with a wince.

"I could really care less whether someone gets a full view of this, but I have the feeling you do."

She nodded and shot him an apologetic look. He thought for a moment, then grinned wickedly.

"Sit on top of me so you'll cover me."

She did so, being a bit of tease by resting her thighs right at his hips, refusing to go any lower. He scowled, but pulled on his boxer shorts and a pair of jeans. Once he was finished, she leaned over to give him a sweet kiss.

"You got _plenty_ of my ass last night," she reminded him.



He beamed."Yeah…I know. I gotta say, for a girl whose only done it a few dozen times, and with the same person, you're pretty good in the sack."

"Thanks, Casanova. I'm glad you approve."

They switched positions so that he could grab both ends of the blanket, then carefully stood up and shielded her from the outside world as she frantically grabbed her clothes and began to put them on.

Even with the blanket covering her, there was still plenty of space for the wind to whip around her naked body. Profanities slipped from her mouth and her hands shook violently as she slipped on her underwear, jeans, and bra, finally letting him put the blanket down so they could both put on their shirts.

She sneezed as she pulled her shirt on, as did he, and as they exchanged glances, "_shit_" was clearly written across their faces.

"Want something to eat?" he asked, pulling her to him.

"Right now all I want is a nice, warm bath and a nap." He chuckled and sniffed.

"I think we can mange that."

They gathered their things and made their way down the boardwalk, huddling together as another gust of wind swept across the beach. The way things looked right now, they were going to pay for their eloping in the form of a nasty cold.

They reached the cab and threw the bag in the backseat, wanting to head off and get the heat running as soon as possible. After about fifteen minutes, much to their horror, it appeared the heat wasn't working in the small taxi. Max hit the heat dial repeatedly in a desperate attempt to get it to work, but it was to no avail. He sighed and laughed softly.

"Well, at least it'll be memorable trip."

She groaned in response and hugged her knees to her chest, a racking cough escaping her lips. The car ride home was silent, except for the occasional sneeze, sniff, or cough, the only thing providing them warmth being the quilt spread across their laps. They were incredibly relieved when they finally came to the taxi company building. He parked the cab, got their things, and draped the blanket across both of their shoulders. They huddled together and headed home, not moving very fast but doing anything to keep themselves warm. When they got to the apartment, they didn't bother knocking and opened the door.

Lucy, Jude, and Prudence were sitting on the couch and, to Ellie's surprise, Sadie and JoJo seated in the chairs, all of them looking concerned. Lucy looked up at the sound of the door opening, her eyes widening when she realized who it was. She let out a sigh of relief, but glared at them as she got up and shuffled over to them.



"Where the _hell_ have you two been? We were about ready to call the police, for God's sake," she exclaimed angrily, though she still enveloped her brother in a firm embrace. "Lord Almighty, you two are like ice." He ignored the latter comment and said:

"We said we would be out, sis. Didn't you see the note?"

"You didn't exactly say 'we'll be gone until 1:00 tomorrow afternoon', mate," Jude noted from the couch, though he smiled warmly at the couple.

"It's a good thing none of us had to work today," his sister continued with disapproval. "And you certainly do owe us."

Max encountered a massive sneezing fit, then managed to spit out: "If it's any consolation, I can't fucking _breathe_. I don't think El's feeling too hot, either." She nodded in agreement.

"No wonder, it's freezing out there! Why were you gone in the first place?" The couple exchanged tired smiles.

"Oh, no reason, we just got this…" Max pulled the marriage license out of the duffel bag. Everyone gasped.

"Oh my God, you didn't!" Prudence squealed, resting her chin excitedly in her palm.

"We did, in fact." Even judgmental Lucy couldn't hide her smile. She hugged her brother again.

"As careless, irrational, and ridiculous as you were, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Luce. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to say hi to some strangers I haven't seen in a while," he said, looking over her shoulder at Sadie and JoJo. She gladly obliged, and the guitarist shook his hand firmly.

"You look good, man," he said simply, giving him a small smile. Sadie pulled him into a tight hug.

"We were going to wait until your wedding, but I just couldn't and it's not that far, so we came up here for a few days," she said, kissing his cheek. "Glad I didn't wait for the wedding."

"Don't worry, Sades," Ellie said, coming up from behind and resting her chin on his shoulder. "We're having another ceremony and I get to do _whatever I want_."

"Yes, honey."

Jude chuckled wickedly.

"Jesus, Max, you already sound like a whipped husband."

The blonde raised a finger victoriously.

"Oh, that's what _you_ think. Wait'll you hear what happened last night."



His wife rolled her eyes, took him by the arm, and said: "Come on, Max. Let's take a bath, I'm freezing."

He followed, but turned back to Jude, held up five fingers and mouthed "I banged her _five times_ last night."

Jude raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Five?" he mouthed back in disbelief.

"_Five!!" _he replied as loud as he dared, giving the brunette a cheesy thumbs-up before Ellie dragged him into the bathroom. Although he couldn't help sticking his head out, grandly outstretching his palm and whispered "_FIVE!"_ one more time, to which Ellie grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him back into the room.

**Yeah, that wasn't my favorite chapter, but I hope you all still liked it.**

**I'm thinking I'll probably crank out 3-5 more chapters in this fic. I'll give you an exact number later.**

**Oh, this goes as a forewarning, one of the last chapters is –planned-(we'll see…I've written it, but I'm not crazy about it yet) to have sex in it. Like, not **_**really**_** graphic sex, but enough that I should probably change it to M. Should I? Or is everyone cool with keeping things the way they are? I don't particularly want to change the rating, since the rest of it is pretty safe.**

**Review please!! D **


	36. Tomorrow Never Knows

A shrill ring echoed throughout the apartment, causing Ellie to look up from her checklist. Her mind could barely put together that the phone had rung and she sighed tiredly, dropping her head into her hand.

"Luce, could you get that?" she called out, digging the heel of her palm into her eyes. There was a rushing of feet and the harsh ringing stopped, much to her relief. She reminded herself to thank Lucy later.

When Max had said she could put together a whole shebang and do whatever she wanted to, she took that quite literally. Now, this was hardly the size of a normal wedding, but she still found herself scurrying around these days, trying to get everything done before the "big" celebration just three days away.

The guest list was small, mainly consisting of her family and Max's, with a few friends and other tenants also coming. Sadie and Jo would of course provide the music, and the food was what she was trying to figure out at the moment.

"El…" She turned to face her friend, who had her head away from the phone and a hand over the receiver. "Your mom and dad said they just landed in JFK."

"What?!" Her parents weren't supposed to come for another 48 hours.

"Your mom and dad said-"

She huffed loudly and waved her hands to stop Lucy from repeating herself. She got up from the table and took the phone from the blonde, murmuring a thank you before she spoke with her parents.

"Mom?"

"Hi, honey. We just landed in JFK, and we're not sure how to get to your place."

"Mom, you said you were coming on Thursday."

"I know we did, but I figured you could use some help with things," Mrs. Rigby responded cheerfully.

"Thank you, but our apartment is really not in any shape for guests-"

"Oh, we don't mind a little mess."

"Ma…" Ellie panned the room, looking at the dirty dishes piling up in the sink, the filthy high chairs, the overflowing trashcans, and the kitchen table that was covered with papers. "It's way more than a little mess."

Her mother sighed. "Alright, sweetheart, if you think it's that bad, we'll find a hotel in Manhattan. But we'll call you when we get settled and then I want to come over and help, okay?"

While her mother had been talking, Max Jr. cries could easily be heard from her bedroom.



"Fine, sure, whatever," she said vaguely, her mind on other things. "Listen, I've got to go, but call me before you come over, please? Love you. Bye."

She hung up before Mrs. Rigby could keep her any longer and ran into her bedroom, picking up her son from his crib. Making sure this wasn't a diaper problem and knowing she had fed him an hour ago, she rocked him back to sleep then returned him to his crib, giving his forehead a kiss.

She then glared at the elder of the two Maxs, who was sound asleep in their bed. How he had not heard his son's cries when he was five feet away from him was beyond her. She was more perturbed by the fact it was eleven o'clock and there was lots of work to be done. She gave his leg a little shake.

"Max, come on, I need you."

No answer.

"Max…" she said, louder and shaking him more vigorously. "Come on."

When he still didn't answer, she threw her hands up in indignant defeat. She didn't have time to deal with this right now, so she left the bedroom and walked back into the kitchen.

Lucy had her checklist in hand while munching contentedly on an apple.

"Anything I missed?" Ellie asked, leaning against the doorframe and pushing sweaty bangs out of her eyes.

She shook her head. "I don't think so…I think we're almost done, too. We've just got to figure out what we're doing for food."

"Whatever it is, I'm not making it. You know me and my fucked up cooking."

Lucy smiled. "Oh, the boys were exaggerating, it wasn't that bad. But I'll call the bakery down the street; they make great stuff."

As she went back to the phone to do so, the front door opened and in walked Jude, brushing a few snowflakes out of his hair. He hung up his coat and walked cautiously in the kitchen, knowing tempers and patience would be short.

"Hey," he greeted El, giving her a kiss on her temple. After getting a Coke from the refrigerator, he shared a kiss with Lucy then wrapped an arm firmly around her waist.

"Things getting done?" he asked.

Ellie sighed and rubbed her forehead. "For the most part, yeah. God knows where I'd be if Lucy weren't helping me."

A bit of a smile tugged at his lips. "I'm guessing my best mate's not being much help."

Both of the women rolled their eyes.



"Not at all. I tried waking him up not long ago, but he's out cold. A nice, cold bucket of water might be Plan B," she said with a wicked grin.

"I'll go see if I'm a better influence," Lucy assured, giving Jude a squeeze before pulling away from him and shuffling off to the bedroom her brother and Ellie shared.

"So, Jude, I meant to ask you-"

"No!" The Englishman put his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm not getting into this. You and Luce can do whatever you want, but I'm not going to get involved. I'll gladly stay out of your way."

She laughed a little. "Okay, okay."

He finished his Coke, tossed it neatly into the trashcan, and headed towards the living room. Ellie sighed as she took another look around their mess of a kitchen, thinking how in the world she was going to make this place presentable for her parents who were coming in an hour or two.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Max?"

Lucy knocked on the door, then let herself in. He was sitting on their windowsill, his ratty old bathrobe wrapped around his frame, head pressed to the frosty glass, and a cigarette hanging limply from his fingers. Growing blonde bangs shielded his eyes from her, so it was difficult to tell what his mood was. She stood there for a minute, rolling on the balls of her feet and crossing her arms.

"I promise we won't ask you to do too much."

When he didn't respond, she knew something was wrong. She walked cautiously over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't even move. She sighed; she had been afraid of this. She knew she should've been expecting this to happen, but she had been hoping the PTSD would hold off at least until after the wedding.

She was about to go get Ellie but didn't want to dampen her mood. Even though her friend had been complaining and running around all morning, she knew that Ellie was ecstatic about the wedding; otherwise, she wouldn't put this much effort into it. Seeing Max like this was hard for all of them, but for her it was especially tortuous.

So, she sat across from him on the windowsill and folded her legs underneath herself. Her heart ached as she watched him, eyes never looking as aching as they did now. She scooted herself closer to him, brushing bangs out of his face, and began to sing softly:

_Turn off your mind relax and float downstream_

_It is not dying, it is not dying_

_Lay down all thought surrender to the void_

_It is shining, it is shining_

_That ignorance and haste may mourn the dead_

_It is believing, it is believing_

_But listen to the color of your dreams_

_It is not living, it is not living_

_Or play the game "existence" to the end._

A trace of a smile passed over his lips, and she took that to be a good sign. He took a drag from his cigarette, slowly releasing the smoke through his nostrils. Lucy put a comforting hand on his knee.

"You want me to stay?" she asked after a while.

He shrugged a little. "I don't know…you don't have to. It wasn't anything awful, things just…started coming back and I didn't want to flip out right in front of Ellie. I just wanted to play it safe. I'm alright."

"Don't bother telling her," he continued, looking at her for the first time since she had walked into the room. "I don't want her to worry and God knows she will if she knows."

"Max," she started with a hint of exasperation. "If you need one of us, it's okay. That's what we're here for. And you aren't going to get better by dealing with this by yourself."

He didn't respond, only tossing his cigarette into his makeshift ash tray (the lid to a peanut butter jar). His sister stood up, offered up a smile, and stuck out her hand.

"Come on. Jude or Ellie is bound to cheer you up."

Max looked at her hand for a moment, not feeling particularly sociable at the moment, but she had a point. He eventually took it, shedding his bathrobe and shoving on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before following her out of his bedroom.

He briefly raised his hand in greeting to Jude, who was sketching on the couch in the living room, before continuing on to the kitchen. He gave a small grin of amusement as he watched his wife standing on the tips of her toes, trying to reach something above the cabinets, and a slew of profanities tumbling from her lips.

"Ah!" she exclaimed victoriously as she grasped whatever she was looking for. But to her horror, as soon as she pulled down the sought item, everything else above the cabinet came with it. She watched it all fall, sighing heavily and throwing her head back in defeat.



"Shit," she mumbled before bending down to pick up the fallen items.

As she gathered the objects in her arms, she noticed her husband hovering above her, clearly entertained by her predicament. She sighed in annoyance.

"If you would be so kind, could you help me out a little here?" she asked coldly.

He silently obliged, picking up a few things and putting them on the counter for her. He helped her to her feet and took some of the objects that had begun to spill out of her arms. Once everything was safely on the counter, she pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair and began to redo it while glaring at him through her bangs.

"Care to explain why I've been busting my ass around for the last five hours and you've been sleeping this entire time?"

Max paused for a moment, trying to think of the best bullshit answer he could think of. He really didn't want her to worry, but he wasn't exactly sure how to put this without telling the truth.

"You never woke me up…" he replied cautiously, adding a slightly innocent look to further encourage his lie. Her lips pursed together irritably.

"Right. Well, I would've appreciated some help before it was almost all the way done. Particularly considering this is, you know, our wedding. Not just mindless house chores."

He bit his lip to keep himself from blurting out the angry response in his head. His mind reminded him it was kind of his own fault she was pissed at him, because if she knew she wouldn't be this irritable. But her icy words frustrated him nonetheless.

"Now, my parents are coming over in an hour or so-"The ringing phone interrupted her. She groaned. "Actually, that's probably them right now, meaning they'll be here in a half an hour." She brushed past him and picked up the phone, immediately delving into a conversation.

He sighed a little and mindlessly began putting the items on the counter back above the counter. He wasn't completely out of his mood, and Ellie had done everything but get him out of it. It wasn't entirely her fault, he knew, but the mix of depression and annoyance just made him feel like that weight strapped to his shoulders again. And he knew she expected him to happy and cheery for her family.

Jude walked in the kitchen and smiled when he noticed his best friend. Walking over to him and pretending to help with the dishes, he lowered his voice so that Ellie wouldn't overhear.

"You alright? Luce told me…"

"Not exactly," he said through gritted teeth.

"Does she…?"

"No. I don't want her to worry."



His response triggered an exasperated groan from the Englishman. "Mate, she thinks you've been a lazy ass this entire time and that you don't particularly care about this wedding deal –"

"I know. But…I don't know. It's complicated and I just don't want to tell her. I really don't want all this angsty shit today."

Jude opened his mouth to protest, but he knew it was no use. So he continued to help his friend put things away, the two settling with silence. Ellie huffed as she returned the phone to the receiver and immediately began to clear the table of the papers that covered it, gathering them up in a disorganized pile and dumping them unceremoniously into their bedroom. She could, at the very least, keep the door to her bedroom shut while her parents were here.

She began to tiptoe quietly over to their crib to check on her son again, only to slip on the pile of papers she had just left on the floor. She yelped in surprise and pain as she landed smartly on her butt. And if things could not go farther downhill, her outcry awoke Max Jr., meaning he promptly began to sob.

As Max overheard this from the kitchen, he shared a rueful grin with Jude.

"Things just went from bad to worse, didn't they?"

He didn't wait for response, headed toward their bedroom, and opened it with a touch of caution. Ellie was sprawled on the floor, staring up to the heavens with a look of utter stressful desperation. He helped her up, to which she started on a hysterical rant.

"The apartment's a mess, my parents are coming in fifteen minutes, and on top of that, I think I just broke my ass…"

He would've laughed, and he did just a little. "Shh…" He pulled her to him, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You sit your broken ass down and I'll get Max. Just chill for minute."

He gently, but firmly sat her down on the bed. Walking over to the crib, he picked up his crying son and winced when he felt wet.

"Shit," he groaned, sighing and placing him back in the crib. Lord knows one thing he would never get used to is changing diapers. Yes, he had done it before (Ellie had to physically force him to the first time), but that didn't mean it was any less gross or stinky each time he did it. He half-thought about getting Jude to do it for him (He was just so much better at it!), but considering he and his wife were already not on the best of terms, he wisely decided against it.

After the dirty diaper was gingerly thrown into the trashcan and a new one was put on, he looked at the state of his hands, shuddered a little, and left for a moment to go wash his hands. Once he returned, he wiped his clean hands on his jeans and picked up his son again. Now that he was almost ten months old, he didn't sleep nearly as much as he used to and liked to be out and about much more.

"He probably would've cried even if you hadn't woke him up, El," he commented, attempting to reassure her. But the solemn, stressed look remained on her face.



"You're still mad at me, aren't you."

"Just a little," she replied with a bit of annoyance, but as she looked over and saw her younger Max tugging at his father's nose, she couldn't help but smile a little.

"But thanks for getting Max."

He nodded. There was a soft knock at their door, then Lucy poked her head in.

"Hey," she started with a small grin. "Max, our parents are well on their way here, actually, they just called from a pay phone saying they're in the Village and asked for address."

He scowled. "Wonderful. Did we think of where they're going to sleep?"

Both the girls shared worried glances. Max noticed this and sighed a little. "They're sure as hell not staying here. I refuse to be hospitable to them for 24 hours a day."

"Oh hush, they aren't that bad anymore," Lucy scolded. "but it's not like we've got room anyway. El, aren't your parents staying in Manhattan?" Ellie nodded. "Alright then, they can stay there. Problem solved."

She left. Ellie rested her chin comfortably in her palm. "Well, this should be interesting."

"That it will be."

"I really wasn't prepared for this today," she mumbled, pushing herself to her feet, rubbing her sore behind for a moment, and shuffling out of the room.

Max looked at his son, who was perfectly content just sitting in his lap, tracing his tiny fingers in the ridges of his jeans. He gave a sigh for what felt like the fiftieth time today.

"Can we switch places today? You be all happy and cheery for me and El's parents and I take a nap all day and throw a fit when I'm hungry? Does that sound okay?"

Max Jr. seemed to understand that his father was talking to him, but obviously couldn't comprehend what he was saying as he stared up with wide, brown eyes bemusedly. The elder Carrigan chuckled softly, ruffled the small amount of golden hair on his head, and returned him to his crib.

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**Arg.**

**I was going to combine what I have of the next chapter with this one, but then it would be ridiculously long and it's been about a month since I've updated. I really don't want this to be longer than forty chapters, and I'm going to my hardest to make it so. D**

**There are rumblings of a sequel in my brain…just to let you know D**

**Reviewing would be lovely, if I have any readers left after that unintended month hiatus. I'm sorry, I love you, I'll give you cookies (!!). **


	37. Too Much Monkey Business, Words of Love

**Thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate it!**

**--**

There was a knock on the door fifteen minutes later. Somehow the apartment had morphed from a disaster area to an organized mess. It would have to do. About five minutes before that knock, it dawned on Lucy she had never told her parents about Michelle. When she had tried to, her distressed mother had informed her about Max and the baby news had to be pushed aside. They didn't know about Max Jr., either. And on top of that, Ellie's parents were due any time now. This was _certainly_ going to be an experience they wouldn't forget.

Lucy gave a little sigh, pushed herself out of her chair and answered the door. Her parents were standing patiently in the hall, with Mrs. Carrigan bearing a bright smile that had a hint of nervousness about it and with Mr. Carrigan looking around at the dilapidated state of the tenant building.

"Mom," she started, smiling warmly at her. "Great to see you."

She embraced her mother and she couldn't help but notice that she felt and looked a little on the thin side. Her mother, always a healthy woman, had lost her pleasantly plump look and the worry lines on her face seemed to have deepened. But even with these observations, her mother seemed content, maybe a little anxious due to their surroundings, but otherwise normal.

Mrs. Carrigan pulled away from her daughter and held her face in her hands, smiling proudly.

"Oh, honey, you've grown to be such a beautiful woman," she commented, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Lucy moved aside to let her mother in. She patiently waited for her father to cease his investigating, and when he did, a small smile came to his lips. She noticed that he looked much more tired than he used to, also.

"Hey, hon," he said, giving her a small embrace and kissing the top of her head. Despite how much she and her elder sibling complained about their parents, she really had missed them. Yes, her mother could be prude, but she would also be willing to accept and understand actions that weren't in the least prudent. And yes, her father could be demanding, but she knew he only wanted the best for his children.

"Where's Julia?" she asked him.

"She has midterms this week. She'll come up with your grandmother and your uncle for the wedding."

"Good." It was hard to imagine that her sister was sixteen years old now; some part of her had expected her family to be exactly the same the next time she saw them.

As they walked into the apartment, Mrs. Carrigan was conversing lightly with Jude, who had little Michelle in his arms and Ellie stood behind, watching with a smile. By the way her mother was becoming infatuated with the little one, Lucy had the feeling she didn't know it was her granddaughter. Jude looked up and gave a brief wave to Mr. Carrigan, as did Ellie.



"Jude. Eleanor," acknowledged her father, nodding a little.

"Jim, you have to meet this little one," Mrs. Carrigan cooed as she stroked the hair on top of Michelle's head. "She's just a pocketful of sunshine."

"Are you babysitting?" he asked.

Lucy and Jude exchanged glances. She silently thanked him for not telling Mrs. Carrigan while she wasn't in the room, but almost wished he had done so, so that she didn't have to.

"Er…not exactly."

She came to Jude and he immediately wrapped his free arm around her waist.

"Mom…Dad…this is Michelle. She's our daughter."

The smile faded on her mother's face. Her eyebrows rose skeptically.

"…_daughter_, did you say?" questioned Mr. Carrigan dubiously. Lucy nodded. Mrs. Carrigan pursed her lips in disapproval.

"I was going to tell you…that's why I called you that one time, but then you told me about Max and-"

"That's no excuse for not calling us later."

"I know and I'm sorry. But things got busy with the two newborns-"

"_Two_ newborns?" repeated Mr. Carrigan.

"Oh…uh…right…" All eyes landed on Ellie, who wished she could disappear. The look on her face gave it away to the visiting parents, and the room fell silent for a moment. Finally, Mrs. Carrigan stated as calmly as she possibly could: "So we have two new grandchildren and we weren't told until now?"

Lucy sighed, not able to come up with a better excuse. To her relief, Jude jumped in for her. "It was pretty insane around here for a while. El probably would've let you know but without Max to help her she was pretty swamped with work and Max Jr…" A trace of a smile twitched at Mrs. Carrigan's lips at the mention of her grandson's name. "…then Max came home and well, that was about two weeks ago, so… yeah."

Mrs. Carrigan let out a little sigh and shared an exasperated look with her husband.

"What's her name again?" she asked, trying to lift the mood.

"Michelle."

She grasped the little one's tiny hand and couldn't help but smile. "Well, she's a beautiful little girl. You'll have to go get Max Jr. for me, Eleanor."



Lucy grinned. "Oh, you'll love him, Mom. He looks just like Max."

"Hopefully he won't _act_ just like Max," grumbled her father.

The three women in the room simultaneously smirked before Ellie scampered off to her room.

"Where is your brother?" asked Mrs. Carrigan impatiently.

Jude frowned with concern. "He's here, maybe he didn't hear you come in…" He glanced over at his girlfriend, who shrugged.

"I'm sure he _heard_ us come in, I think the issue is whether or not he _wanted_ to hear us come in."

Lucy opened her mouth to defend her brother, but closed it, realizing that now would not be the best time to start up an argument. It was bound to happen sooner or later, she wasn't that naïve, but she wanted to keep the banter to a minimum at least for the time being.

Ellie returned, Max Jr. in her arms, and she was trailed by Max, who had come out of hiding with much coaxing from his wife and the fact that he couldn't conceal himself forever.

Not to anyone's surprise, the Carrigans turned their attention to their eldest child first, since they hadn't seen him since he had returned from Vietnam. Tears sprung to Mrs. Carrigan's eyes, and Max braced himself for the oncoming sob-fest and incessant blubbering.

But to his astonishment, she merely walked up to him and took his face in her hands. She managed to only let a few tears fall as she gently ran her thumbs over his cheeks. A loving smile came to her lips as she stretched to her toes to give him a kiss on the forehead (he stood a good foot above her).

"You look good, sweetheart," she murmured.

"Uh…thanks, Mom," he replied, not sure how to react to this unprecedented act of warmth, considering he hadn't:

Called when he was back in the States.

Called about Max Jr.

Called in general.

He supposed that now he had "prisoner of war" added to his list of descriptions about himself, there was a certain something that made it worthwhile just to see him for his parents. It was still weird, nonetheless. What would his father do? Break down into tears and beg forgiveness for being an asshole all these years?

"Son, you need a haircut."

No such luck. Oh well. At least one thing, or person, rather, hadn't changed.



"It's not that bad, Dad. Things have been a little…crazy around here, so I haven't exactly had time for a haircut," Max responded with an eye roll. Despite his previous statement, his father walked over to him and gave him a clap on the back.

"But you do look good, Max. It's good that you're home."

Max nodded. Their little "bonding" time was interrupted by a squeal of delight from Mrs. Carrigan.

"_Jim_, isn't he adorable?" fussed his mother, giving one of Max Jr.'s cheeks a pinch. Little Max, though he may have been young, was old enough to make his own decisions, and he definitely decided right then that he did _not _want his cheeks pinched. He let out an angry howl at Mrs. Carrigan's gesture, causing both Ellie and Max Sr. to share an amused smirk.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart, come here," she said, taking Max Jr. out of his mother's arms and into her own. This further perturbed the younger Max, as he continued to wail and writhe violently in his grandmother's arms.

The elder Max couldn't help but snort at his mother's failed attempts to warm up to his son. Lucy shot him a stern look, but when he caught her eye, they were both biting back a laugh.

"Ma, you're scaring the shit out of him," Max said, trying to mask his amusement.

"Oh, I am not, he's just being irritable," she said, continuing to bounce him on her hip as he continued to sob. "Is he always like this?"

Ellie faked ignorance. "No, not at all. He's a generally happy baby." _Maybe it's just you_, she wanted to add, but for understandable reasons, didn't.

"Well…he probably hasn't gotten used to not being around his mother and father." Mrs. Carrigan gingerly handed him back to her. Unfortunately, his cries didn't stop, even when Ellie attempted to shush him. Maybe it wasn't just Mrs. Carrigan after all.

"He hasn't had his nap today. I'll go put him down," she said, leaving the room for a moment. An uncomfortable silence followed. Finally, Mr. Carrigan spoke.

"How are things going with the little ones? Busy, obviously…"

"Yeah, but I think we're doing a good job. Nothing disastrous has happened yet, though these two can be quite a handful sometimes," Jude said, smiling down at Michelle and kissing the top of her head.

"Well, they're both beautiful children…are you planning on living here the rest of your lives? I mean, this is probably isn't the best place to raise a young child," inquired Mrs. Carrigan casually, although it was obvious the content of that question was not casual at all.

Jude, Lucy, and Max exchanged glances and all shrugged. "I don't think we've thought that far ahead, Mom. We're still kind of going on a day-to-day basis."



Again, the Carrigan's mother pursed her lips in disapproval. "…I'm sure you'll find a nice place in somewhere like Jersey, then…" she muttered.

"_Jersey?!"_ Max mouthed silently, raising his eyebrows and looking incredulously at his sister, who merely shrugged.

Ellie returned a moment later. "My parents should be here any minute, and I thought maybe we could go out to lunch…there's some good places around."

The Carrigans nodded in agreement

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Once the Rigbys arrived, they all headed off to lunch. Not wanting to wake Max from his nap, she got Pru to watch him while they brought Michelle along with them. Ellie led the group, her arm comfortably wrapped around her husband's waist, while Lucy, Jude, and Michelle were not far behind them, and the parents taking the back. She honestly didn't have a particular place in mind; anywhere but Katz's was fine with her, but she figured her family and friends wouldn't mind wandering around a little. While her father had become disgruntled when he was run into by some 20something hippies dancing gaily down the street on this unseasonably warm November afternoon, probably high out of their minds, her mother seemed to like all the bright colors in the windows and the good, upbeat music of the latest pop sensation coming from an unknown source.

They finally found a cute, little deli not too far from their apartment that didn't look too wacky or avant-garde for her or Max's conventional parents. They all sat down and ordered.

To Ellie's relief, her parents seemed to be getting along just fine with the Carrigans. Their mothers were chatting away, talking about who knows what, while their fathers also conversed comfortably. It dawned on her how similar their parents were, so it was only natural that they would get along.

She turned to Max, resting her elbow against the table and putting her head in her palm. "Sorry about earlier…I was kind of insane, I know."

He shrugged a little. "It's alright. You're always kind of insane."

She gave him a light kick underneath the table. "Yeah, well, you can get up and help me tomorrow morning, and maybe I won't be so insane."

He smiled uncomfortably and quickly changed the subject. "Are you planning on telling your parents that technically we're already married?" he asked, dropping his voice a little.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know. Would it be awful of us not to tell them?"

"Nah, I don't think so, except they're bound to find out about it anyways. I mean, come on, have we even thought about who's going to marry us at this ceremony?"



"Shit." She hadn't thought about that. "Um…good question. Rocky, maybe?" she suggested, speaking of one of their former roommates in Sadie's haven. "Wasn't he a spiritualist for a while or something?"

Max snorted. "Two weeks, I think. And sure we can use him, if you can get him at a time when he's not high off his ass."

"I'll be sure to inform he needs to be sober that day, or at least for two hours."

The eldest Carrigan turned his attention to his niece sitting in Jude's lap, who wanted to grab each and every thing that lay on the table, with Jude or Lucy prying it out of her hands after she did so. Every time this happened she would make a little noise of annoyance and try again, only to be stopped by her parents.

"For God's sake, man, let her touch the freaking salt shaker," Max said.

Jude sighed. "Mate, she puts anything in her hands into her mouth. She tried eating my charcoal the other day."

His best friend paid him no mind. He took the salt and pepper shakers and placed one of them in front of her, balancing the other on top of it. Once she grasped the top shaker, the little tower came toppling down, causing salt and pepper to spill all down her shirt. She giggled with glee and clapped her hands together.

"_Max_…" Lucy groaned, glaring at her brother as she began to clean up the mess.

"Babies are funny," he commented with amusement, ignoring his sister's scolding. "I wonder what she'd do with the creamer things…"

"Don't encourage her," the Englishman interrupted, putting the salt and pepper shakers back on his side and wiping salt off of his daughter.

"You're going to have to keep an eye on that one," Max continued, smiling at Michelle. "One of these days those shakers she's going after are going to turn into horny, teenage boys."

"You're one to talk. If the little bugger is anything like you when he gets older, which is likely at this point, we'll be seeing Max Carrigan the 3rd's popping out everywhere."

"Let's not even think about this yet," Ellie cut in firmly, before the conversation went any further or the parents overheard.

"Eleanor, Pam and I were just talking," Mrs. Rigby started, leaning towards her daughter. "Have you picked out a dress yet?"

"_Shit!_" she exclaimed, dropping her head to the table. She hadn't realized how many things she had forgotten when she had made her little checklist. Max couldn't help but roll his eyes.



"El, honestly, you could be in ripped jeans and a t-shirt, and I would still marry you. Wasting our money and time on petty things is stupid."

"A dress isn't a petty thing, Maxwell!" cut in his mother. "And I couldn't help but overhear you telling your fiancé that you wanted at least three cases of beer!"

"Yeah…and your point?"

Mrs. Carrigan sighed and glared at him. "We'll find something for you, Eleanor. Unless you end up changing your mind about this one …"

"_Ma…_"

"I was only half-joking, Max."

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After lunch, they headed back to their apartment. Both Mrs. Carrigan and Mrs. Rigby ended up being a lot of help in the long run, help them clean up their apartment a little and get things organized. Prudence would every so often catch Lucy's or Ellie's eye and share a small smile of bewilderment as they watched their apartment, which had been unkempt the moment they had moved into it, slowly start to become neat and tidy. The men eventually left, supposedly to get tuxes, though not to anyone's surprise Max grumbled about he'd almost rather wear his Army uniform than a tux. No set decision was made, but it seemed the men were more trying to get out of the way of the bustling women.

At one point during the late afternoon, when Ellie was straightening out the living room, Mrs. Carrigan came up to her, smiling. She had what looked like photos in her hand.

"I just thought you might want to see what your son will look like in a few years…these are some old pictures of Max."

She took them out of her hand and sat down on the couch. The first one had aged substantially, but it clearly showed a very weary-looking, but content Mr. Carrigan standing over an equally weary-looking Mrs. Carrigan, newborn Max in her arms. The next one made her gasp and an unmistakable grin grew on her face. It was a baby picture of her fiancé, and the resemblance between him and her son was uncanny.

The next made her throw her head back and laugh. It was a family Christmas picture, all of the Carrigans minus Julia, Uncle Teddy, and both grandparents posing in front of the picture. Everyone was smiling or at least looked pleasant except none other than a six-year old Max. He had his arms crossed over his chest and a thoroughly disgusted scowl on his face, most likely due to the gaudy, bright red sweater he had on. Mrs. Carrigan sat down next to her and grinned.

"He _despised_ that sweater. It took both me and my husband to get it on him."

"No offense, but I don't blame him," Ellie replied with a chuckle.



"It is awful, isn't it. Oh well, I thought it looked good on him then."

In the next picture, he must have been ten-years old or so. A school gym served as the background, and young Max proudly held up a navy blue ribbon, a big, toothy grin spread on his face.

"He won the school's geography contest…he used to love school so much," his mother explained.

"It's a pity he didn't stay in school," she mused, mostly to herself. "He was so smart; he did so well on his college entrance exams. But he just wasted all of that on things that just didn't matter."

Ellie didn't respond and thought for moment. She had never thought as Max as being particularly intelligent, but she supposed he was. Assuming his grades were less than admirable, she guessed he got into Princeton with his good test grades and his parents' money. She couldn't help but think _what if Max had stayed in college and become a doctor or something?_ The thought of her fiancé sitting behind some big, oak desk, dressed to a T and fancy glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, with a shiny, gold plaque reading _Maxwell Carrigan, M.D._ made her giggle.

The last picture was taken the day he was dropped off at Princeton. Although everyone in the picture was smiling, tear streaks and red cheeks were apparent on both Mrs. Carrigan and Lucy. He obviously looked much more similar to what his current appearance was, but it was still clear to Ellie how much he had changed.

Max's lean, almost runner-like build hadn't changed much, but in the picture he looked so much healthier. Yes, a good five or six years of cigarettes, weed, and booze could do that to you, but Ellie noticed that her fiancé always looked tired these days, even before he had left for Vietnam for the second time.

And in all of the pictures, albeit the Christmas one, he looked happy. Max had definitely been a generally content person when she had met him, and she knew he was happy being with her, but he didn't smile as much as he used to, nor did he laugh or say those stupid jokes that drove her crazy and made her grin at the same time. Ellie wasn't thinking about breaking off the marriage, dear Lord, no, but she definitely felt that during the past couple years, she had lost part of the Max she had fallen in love with.

Ellie, of course, didn't make her thoughts known to Mrs. Carrigan, and thanked her for letting her see the pictures.

"You're welcome, dear…listen," she started, lowering her voice. "If we ever seemed…discouraged about you, I hope you understand that we, or at least I, have changed my mind. I was convinced for a while that you two would be through sooner or later, but that obviously didn't happen."

"Just promise me you'll take good care of him, alright?"

"Of course, Mrs. Carrigan."

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Once the men returned (no tuxes were bought or rented), the parents decided to go home for the day, and promised to be there the next morning around 10. When they were gone, Ellie came up behind Max, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder. A thought came to her, and she couldn't help but ask him:

"What's the capital of Spain?"

"Mm?"

"The capital of Spain?"

"…what about the capital of Spain? You want to go there on a honeymoon or something? Sorry, babe, but-"

"No, no." She chuckled a little. "What _is_ the capital of Spain?"

"Um…shit, I don't know…it starts with an M…Marid, or something like that." He stopped his mumbling for a moment and turned to face her, looking at her quizzically. "Any particular reason why you're asking me this?"

"First of all, it's Madrid, but you were pretty close. I wanted to see if you remembered anything from your peak geography days fifteen or sixteen years ago…"

He thought for a moment, then laughed when he realized what she was talking about. "How do you know about that?"

"Your mom. She brought some old pictures of you and showed them to me."

"Hopefully none of them were from senior prom…God, did I look awful in those. Yeah, the only thing I ever won in school was that stupid blue ribbon."

"Mm, that's okay. I won a medal once for perfect attendance or something like that, but that's it, so you're better off than me. And you at least _attempted_ college."

"Yeah, well…" he trailed off, leaving the rest to the imagination. "Enough about the 'good ol' days', I'm starved."

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Late that night, there was a firm knock on the door. Max, sighing, slid a sleeping Ellie out of his lap and got up from the couch. He shuffled over to the door and opened it.

The person, or rather, the people at the door made his blood run cold.

Ellie overheard the low voices in her state of unconsciousness and fluttered her eyes open, rubbing them groggily. She glanced over in the direction of the door, but couldn't make out who was at the door and what the conversation consisted of. Whoever it was finally left, and Max quietly shut the door.



When her vision and mind were finally clear, Max was still standing at the door, barely moving at all. A piece of paper and something else were in his hands. She could see him heave a shaky sigh.

"What's wrong, Max?" she asked tiredly, but sincerely.

He made some sort of noise, it almost sounded like a bitter chuckle, and he shook his head.

"Goddamn it, Ellie," he started, still not facing her. "How the hell am I supposed to forget about this when I keep getting these blatant reminders?"

Confused out of her mind, she didn't answer, not knowing what to say. Max knew this, and didn't expect an answer. He crumpled the piece of paper into a ball and violently threw that and the other object into the nearby trashcan. It was obvious that the other object was something decently heavy, as it banged loudly against the metal can.

He stormed off to their bedroom and slammed the door behind him. After waiting a moment in bemused concern, Ellie got up from the couch and scurried over to the trashcan and pulled the two items out of the trashcan, un-crumpling the paper.

It was a certificate. The other item was a Purple Heart.

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**Here are the "in-depth" explanations. Okay, actually, I just wanted to talk about it xD.**

"**She embraced her mother and she couldn't help but notice that she felt and looked a little on the thin side…" – Yeah, I felt the need to show that even Mr. and Mrs. Carrigan were affected by Max's deployment and POW time.**

"**Yes, her mother could be prude, but she would also be willing to accept and understand actions that weren't in the least prudent. And yes, her father could be demanding, but she knew he only wanted the best for his children."** – **As much as we all hate the Carrigan parents and their conventional ways, I've tried lately to show that they really aren't all that awful. I feel that they just want the best for their children, maybe something wasn't right in their childhoods, and that sometimes they just take that too far.**

"**Shit." She hadn't thought about that. "Um…good question. Rocky, maybe?" she suggested, speaking of one of their former roommates in Sadie's haven. "Wasn't he a spiritualist for a while or something?" – Yeah, them actually getting married by a priest? Not a very Ellie/Max thing to do. :D**

"**It's such a pity he didn't stay in school," she mused, mostly to herself. "He was so smart; he did so well on his college entrance exams. But he just wasted all of that on things that just didn't matter." – I always got the impression that Max was actually a pretty smart kid, just too smart for his own good. I have the feeling had he stayed in Princeton and actually tried, he could've gotten his degree in medicine (-wink, wink-) or something and been the successful child his parents always wanted. But he obviously didn't, so…yeah.**

**REVIEWING WOULD AMAZING, AND I'D LOVE YOU ALL FOREVER!! :D**


	38. The Deeper You Go, The Higher You Fly

Sunlight dazzled across the glassy water of the river as Max and Ellie pulled up to the docks

**Hey, guys!**

**I know, an update! Isn't it amazing?**

**Sorry, school's a bitch. **

**If you didn't already know, I've edited the first chapter of this fic. All of your lovely reviews go away, much to my disdain, but I thought it needed to be edited. Your thoughts on this would be wonderful. And I'm likely to do this with a few other chapters.**

**Anyway, enjoy this next chapter. There's only two (I think) left…with the possibility of an epilogue.**

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Two days later, the day before the wedding, dawned cold and dreary, an unfortunate break in the unseasonably warm weather they had been experiencing. The heat didn't seem to working that morning either, something they'd have to get fixed sooner or later. Max's grandmother, Julia, Uncle Teddy, Ellie's brothers and sisters, and Sadie and Jo were all due to roll into the Village sometime today, with the Carrigans supposedly arriving sometime early that morning. After a lot of discussion, Mr. and Mrs. Carrigan convinced the hippies to have breakfast out at the same little deli they had eaten at around 9:00 with the whole family.

Ellie managed to drag herself out of bed sometime around 8:30, meeting the bare minimum of making herself presentable by doing the necessities and throwing on an old pair of jeans and, after realizing she was in desperate need of fresh laundry, an old shirt of Max's, which originally must have been old shirt of Jude's due to the way it fit her and the paint splotches all over it.

She stumbled groggily into the living room around 8:45, finding Jude sitting on the couch, a sketchbook in his lap and a steaming mug in his hands. Michelle slept peacefully in her cradle at the end of the couch. He looked up at the sound of her entrance and smiled at her warmly.

"Top of the morning to yeh," he said cheerfully, tipping an imaginary hat towards her. "I see you're looking bright-tailed and bushy-eyed this morning."

Despite her sleepy state, she couldn't help but snort. "Judey, it's bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. But what makes you so happy this morning?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. I passed out sometime early last night and Michelle made it through the night with no crying, so I guess I'm refreshed."

"Yeah, well, you'd be alone in that department, even if I did get eight hours of sleep last night…" The Englishman reached over to the table at the end of the couch, where another steaming mug was resting and picked it up.

"Maybe this'll help. I needed to get my brain off of this month's cover, so I made some coffee. I figured you'd want it, anyway."

"Did we convert you to coffee or something?" she asked, gesturing to his mug.

He scoffed. "Hell no. This is tea. I'm English, remember? I don't want any of your American shite, but I made some of you, anyway." He held out the other cup to her.

She smiled dazedly at him and took it, taking a sip. "Thank you. You're such a sweetheart."

He shrugged again. "'s not a big deal."

"Maybe I should've married you…" she murmured audibly to him.

"Eh, I wouldn't be any fun. Eventually you wouldn't find it so endearing."

"Fair enough. And you're cute and all and I'm sure you're fantastic in the bedroom, but…uh, you're not Max."

He threw his head back and laughed, pretending to wince. "_Ouch_. I would've liked to have thought that I'd beat out my mate in that category."

She took another thoughtful sip. "You did in Lucy's opinion."

"I suppose her's is all that matters."

Ellie looked around the living room, still nice and tidy, and furrowed her brows. "Where are they anyway? Aren't we getting up at this ungodly hour to meet _their_ family?"

Jude shook his head in agreement. "I got up pretty early this morning, so I didn't wake Luce. But I figured she'd be up by now."

She glanced down at her piping hot mug of coffee and a wicked grin passed over her lips. He caught on to her train of thought, and shook his head again.

"He really had warped your mind, you know. There are times when I can't tell whose idea was whose."

She sighed and headed towards her bedroom, setting her cup down on the stand next to the couch. "The difference between me and him is that he actually follows through on those crazy ideas of his. I just think of them and wish I had the balls to do it."

Ellie opened the door to her room, rummaged through their chest of drawers, and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Once they were in her hands, she walked over to the bed and with one sharp heave, cruelly shed a sleeping Max of the blankets that had been wrapped around him.

Sure enough, a drowsy moan came the newly-awakened Max, his voice muffled by the pillow buried in his face.

"Your family's here in fifteen minutes or so. At least get dressed."

He sighed, turned his head around so he could face Ellie, and was instead met by an airborne pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Mumbling various profanities under his breath, he got of bed and tugged on his jeans.

"Jude was gracious enough to make coffee, so I suggest you thank him once you are functioning again."

"Wait, how did he…never mind…" he grumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head. Once it was on, he looked at Ellie, who had a grin playing at her lips.

"What?"

"Are you regretting our marriage yet?"

He rolled his eyes, walked over to her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Not a bit. Well, not yet, anyways. We'll see if you turn into Bridezilla tomorrow."

She nudged him lightly with her hip. Ellie was glad he seemed to be in a decent mood. He had still been a little temperamental yesterday due to the Purple Heart ordeal. Things had gone from bad to worse when Mrs. Carrigan found it in the trashcan when they had come over.

"Sweetheart, is this…?"she had asked, holding it in her hands.

Max didn't answer, his eyes downcast and his arms crossed.

"Why is this in the trashcan? You should be proud of it."

"Proud of what?" he spat in response. "That I got the living shit beat out of me and got a fancy bullet hole in my stomach?"

"It's honoring your sacrifice," Mr. Carrigan said in the most condescending tone imaginable. "They wouldn't have given it to you if you didn't deserve it."

"Well, no shiny, purple medal is going make up for the five months of hell."

The conversation had been firmly ended there, but it was clear the Carrigan parents wanted to continue arguing with him. Ellie wisely decided to not bring it up at all. She had no idea what to do to make the situation better, so she just left it as is. She knew the medal and the certificate were no longer in the apartment, but she had the feeling Mrs. Carrigan had taken it.

A knock on the front door interrupted their little moment and Max glanced over at her. "I thought you said I had fifteen minutes." She shrugged.

The two of them scurried out of their bedroom and into the living room, where an exhausted Lucy was sitting on the couch, her head resting on Jude's shoulder and her eyes closed. Ellie ran to get the door, pushed her bangs out of her face, and opened it.

Max's grandmother was the first to greet her, a woman who was surprisingly spry for her age. She beamed brightly and shook Ellie's hand vigorously.

"You must be the lucky bride," she said. "It's so great to finally meet you."

"Thank you, Ms. Carrigan, I…I appreciate it," Ellie replied with bewilderment.

As she walked in the door, she caught her grandson's eye, pointed back to Ellie and mouthed _"Nice catch!"_ giving him a thumbs-up in approval. He grinned, walking over to her to greet her.

Uncle Teddy seemed determined to ignore Ellie and Jude until they were introduced. Ellie briefly greeted Julia and led her in. Once her fiancé noticed his youngest sister had arrived, a big smile spread across his face.

"What? You're too cool to hug your big brother?"

She rushed over to him and just about tackled him to the ground. Max embraced her in a big, bone-crushing hug.

"Mmph…Jules, man, it's been too long…look at you!" He let her go and glanced at her up and down. "_Shit…_you're like…tall…and not a scrawny little girl anymore…"

"You did see me like a year and half ago, you know…"

"Well, Miss Matter-O-Fact, the past two years have kind of been blur, honestly. So I really only remember sixth-grade, flat-chested Julia."

"Max!" Julia, Lucy, Ellie, and Mrs. Carrigan, who had come into the room with her husband, simultaneously exclaimed with exasperation.

"Okay, okay, that was just wrong, I agree with you on that one…but anyway, you should come visit when you're not burying your nose into a book."

"I'll try to remember," she said, smiling and embracing him again.

"Maxwell, aren't you going to introduce your young lady?" Uncle Teddy swiftly interrupted. Julia scooted out of the way, while Max glanced at Ellie and put an arm around her waist.

"Uh…yeah, um, this is Ellie."

She did an awkward, little wave. Uncle Teddy walked up to her, smiled politely, and held out his hand. She shook it uncomfortably.

"Excuse my nephew for his atrocious introduction, it's a pleasure to meet you…Eleanor, right?"

"Ellie."

"Eleanor, got it."

She looked over at her fiancé bemusedly, to which he just rolled his eyes and shrugged a little. Ellie had heard many stories about their uncle, and she agreed that at the very least, he certainly was a peculiar man.

"And did I hear that I'm a new great-grandmother?" Max's grandmother asked, a smile spreading on her face as she began to wander over to Michelle, still in her crib, but now awake.

"Yes, you are! Max was sleeping when I checked on him last, but I'll see."

Ellie headed into her bedroom while Grandmother Carrigan began to coo over her new great-granddaughter. Uncle Teddy began to converse lightly with Jude.

"So, I take it you and Lucy are engaged?"

The Englishman turned bright red. "Well, erm…not exactly…we're not engaged yet."

"Oh," he replied, his lips pursing together in what seemed like disapproval.

"But I'm sure we will be soon," Lucy jumped in, slipping her hand into Jude's and interlocking fingers.

"Yes, one would hope so…" he muttered, turning his attention away from the couple. Lucy squeezed her boyfriend's hand. Despite her not wanting to jump the gun, she knew Jude was going to propose to her. He wouldn't have stayed this long and had a child with her if he wasn't going to. She had the feeling he was scared, which she could not wrap her head around, and was trying her hardest to be patient.

Ellie returned with Max Jr. in her arms, and Grandmother Carrigan gasped. She sprinted over to her and looked down on her great-grandson.

"Oh, he looks just like him, doesn't he! Hopefully, he'll go out and find a beautiful girl just like his father did."

After the adults continued to fuss over the babies, Max finally sighed, looked at the clock, and said "I hate to interrupt the love fest, but can we possibly move it to the deli? I'm starved."

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

Despite breakfast being at such an ungodly hour of the morning, it was quite pleasant. Grandmother Carrigan was completely infatuated with Ellie, which made her feel a million times better. Yes, Max's parents had "approved" her, but Uncle Teddy still seemed very skeptical and even the Carrigan parents did, also. To have at least one of the adults on her side made some of that tension ease.

"Tell me, Eleanor, have you always lived in New York?" Uncle Teddy asked as he ate a forkful of his omelet.

"No, I hail from a suburb outside of Boston."

For the first time that day, his eyes lit up in excitement. "Oh! You are no doubt a fellow UMass grad, then? I'm a proud member of the Class of 1947. Great campus, isn't it?"

Oh, how she hated to burst his bubble. "No, I…I didn't go to college."

His face fell back into its previous look of seriousness and slight disdain. "Oh." He turned back to his omelet and started muttering something about "kids these days…" and "having no prospects…"

Had the comments he was muttering been said two years ago, Ellie would've felt guilty or apologetic that she wasn't "good" enough. But at this stage, she was done trying to impress her in-laws, or anyone in general. What they saw was what they were going to get.

_Jude's right…_she thought to herself. _I am turning into Max…_

"Hey, El..." Lucy started, putting a hand on her arm. "Isn't the rest of your family coming around eleven?"

She glanced at the clock. "Shit…" she muttered. "Yeah, they are. I'd better head back so they aren't greeted by an empty apartment."

"I'll go with you," Max piped up immediately. "And we'll take Max, too."

"Maxwell, it's been years since your uncle and grandmother have seen you," Mrs. Carrigan stated. "Isn't a bit impolite to leave so abruptly?"

"It's alright, Pam," Grandmother Carrigan assured his mother. "I'm sure the Rigby's want to meet the new fiancé and son." She slipped a wink to Max.

He shot her a grateful look as Ellie scooped Max Jr. into her arms, said a quick goodbye, and headed out the door.

Once they were well down the sidewalk, the blonde gave a heavy sigh of relief. "I now love and care deeply for your family."

"Oh?"

"Because they exist, I do not have to sit through another hour of mindless and pompous babble."

"Hey, your grandmother helped a lot with that. I like her."

He smiled. "Yeah, she's pretty cool. Don't know how my dad turned into the goody-goody lawyer he is; honestly, he could've been a trash man and my grandma wouldn't have cared."

They got to the entrance to their tenant building. She turned to him and sighed a little.

"Well, you may have escaped your family, but I'm afraid you're going to have to do the same thing over again."

"If I'm going to make an ass of myself in front of one family, why not do it for another?"

**Yay for analysis. :D**

"…_**an old shirt of Max's, which originally must have been old shirt of Jude's due to the way it fit her and the paint splotches all over it."**_ – **This is a very subtle foreshadowing to a Max/Jude fic that has yet to be written. My sister and girlfriend consistently wear each other's clothes, so I was thinking a Max/Jude fic that had something to do with the fact that they wear each other's clothes would be cute. :D**

"_**I see you're looking bright-tailed and bushy-eyed this morning."**_ – **No, Jude is not stupid. He's just a little misinformed about American sayings. Still. :D**

"_**Maybe I should've married you…" she murmured audibly to him." **_– **This is in no way shape or form meant to be a foreshadowing of a Jude/Ellie affair. I consider Jude and Ellie's relationship to be similar to Max and Lucy's. Very close, but you know, not like that. **

"_**Well, Miss Matter-O-Fact, the past two years have kind of been blur, honestly. So I really only remember sixth-grade, flat-chested Julia."**_ – **Heh. Max may be fucked up from the war, but he can still be a little pervert.**

"_**The Englishman turned bright red. "Well, erm…not exactly…we're not engaged yet."**_ – **I'm not going to tell you when or where or any details, but I will tell you it will happen in this fic. :D**

"_**Grandmother Carrigan was completely infatuated with Ellie, which made her feel a million times better…"**_ – **I thought one of the adults just had to think the whole thing was awesome. And I thought it would be kind of interesting to make Grandmother Carrigan so different from her son and her daughter-in-law (Mr. and Mrs. Carrigan). Possibly more with her later in this fic.**

"_**Oh! You are no doubt a fellow UMass grad, then?"**_** – In case you didn't know, I'm referring to the University of Massachusetts. **

**Reviews would be lovely as always. Expect an edited version of Chapter Two up soon. :D**

**Much love,**

**TMOLM2010**


	39. I'll Follow the Sun

**I apologize for this ridiculously long awaited update. I just finished a musical in which I was the lead, so it was difficult to juggle that with homework, not to mention writing.**

**But, because you all waited so patiently, this is a longer chapter! And I hope you enjoy it!**

**Look for edited chapters to be up soon.**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Max sighed heavily, pushing his growing blonde bangs out of his face. For what felt like the hundredth time, he couldn't sleep. Although, these days, perhaps it was better if he didn't. Still, he was, at the very least, incredibly bored at these early hours of the morning. Which meant his wife was just going to have to entertain him.

He rolled over in his bed, turning to face a peacefully sleeping Ellie, her back facing up. He shifted towards her until he was close enough to loop his long arms around her and bury his face into her neck.

"El…" he mumbled. He felt her stir underneath him, but when she made no other movement or sound, he had the feeling she was pretending she hadn't heard him.

"_El_…" he said again, a little louder than before. This time, she groaned a little, and eventually, she replied sleepily:

"What, Max?"

"Let's…let's do something."

"It's two o'clock in the morning."

"But…I'm _bored_."

"_Max_..."

He swiveled her in his arms so that she laid face-up. Even though there was no light of any kind, she squinted painfully and rubbed her eyes.

"Whatever happened to not seeing the bride the night before the wedding?" she noted, a hint of desperation in her voice.

"Screw that," he mumbled, bending down and planting soft kisses down the side of her face with the intention of following that trail as far down as she'd allow. She obliged, enjoying this immensely despite the ungodly hour of the morning. Once he got to her waistline, however, she recoiled.

"Not tonight, babe. Please."

Max sighed and rested his chin on her stomach, looking at her with pitiful blue eyes.

"Why not?" he inquired.

"Because…there are guests in the house."

"Since when was that an issue for our sex life?"

"You've got a point, but-"

"Come on…at least get up with me and have a drink or two."

Her tired brain considered it for a moment, then finally gave in when she figured agreeing with him would get her back to sleep faster than arguing with him would. She heaved a sigh and nodded. With a smile, he sat up, pulling her along with him, and slung an arm around her shoulders as they got out of bed and padded into the kitchen. Sadie and Jo were comfortably parked out on the couch for the night, as they didn't want to waste money on a pricey hotel, and the couple made sure not to wake them.

Ellie flipped the switch on to the kitchen and instantly regretted doing so as the light was horrendously bright. She flipped it off as quickly as she could, figuring their eyes could adjust. She sat on the edge of the table, feeling her eyes growing heavy as Max pulled a couple drinks out of the refrigerator. Just as she felt herself nodding off, she heard footsteps from the living room. In the dim light that filtered through the dirty windows, she could make out that Jude and Lucy had both entered the room.

"You two couldn't sleep either?" asked the Englishman quietly.

"It was this one who couldn't sleep," she replied, giving Max a nudge with her foot. "He decided to drag me along with him."

"Well, it must be a Carrigan thing…" he said good-naturedly, smiling at Lucy. "…because she was the one who got my arse out of bed."

"You two just don't understand the way we work…here ya go, sis," the elder of the two siblings cut in, handing his sister a beer.

She took it and opened it with a nostalgic sigh. "You remember when we were always up at this hour of the morning? Like every night?"

"And drunk out of our minds?" Jude added.

"Or high out of our minds?" Ellie furthered.

"Or drunk _and_ high out of our minds," Max continued, causing all of them to laugh. "Luce, I remember the first night we got you high…Christ, that was sight."

She winced a little and slowly shook her head. "I have no recollection of that whatsoever."

"I'm not surprised. I'm just glad I was sober enough to remember it. You ran right smack into a wall about fifty times…actually, you started _talking_ to the wall at one point. Something about submarines and living beneath the waves…it was quite amusing."

"Or how about the time you made out with Sadie?" Jude added with a smirk, referring to his best friend.

Ellie's jaw dropped with disbelief. "_You_ made out with _Sadie?_ When was this?"

A smug grin started to play at his lips. "When we first moved in, before Luce was here. It was a little bet we had, winner had to pay the rent for two months. I'm surprised it happened myself, and frankly, I have every damn reason to be proud."

"I'd have to agree with you. That's quite the feat…does, uh, Jo know about this?"

"Not to my knowledge, and I'd rather it stay that way."

Lucy snorted. "What? You think he'll beat you over the head with his guitar or something?"

"You never know, man…JoJo's got some wicked fast fingers…he could fuck me up pretty bad if he wanted to."

"You got that right, brother."

All four of them turned to find JoJo and Sadie, Jo in a t-shirt and boxers, Sadie in her favorite silk bathrobe (the one Max had always stolen whenever she wasn't around), in the doorway.

"How much of that conversation did you hear?" Max asked with a hint of caution.

"All of it…" The guitarist's features suddenly hardened as he took a serious turn. "And I plan on making you pay for it."

The blonde figured he was kidding, but something about the way he said it made the laughter that followed a little on the nervous side. Jo rolled his eyes and smiled at Max, coming over to him and clapping him on the back.

"You know I'm just playin' with you, boy. Just keep those roamin' hands of yours off my woman, alright?"

"I'll try to help with that," Ellie answered for him, walking over to her husband and resting her chin on his shoulder.

Jo chuckled, shaking his head. "Let me rephrase that. You _better_ keep those roamin' hands of yours off my woman, because Ellie'd probably give you a worse ass whoopin' than I would."

"You know it," she replied with an impious grin.

"Not to mention you've got Lucy, who'd probably strangle the shit out of you-"

"Okay, as much as I love hearing about how many people want to kick my ass, can we have this conversation when I've actually _done_ something?" Max interrupted indignantly.

"Don't worry about them. You'll always have me, baby doll," Sadie said with a sweet smile.

The group fell silent for a moment, only taking thoughtful sips of their drinks every now and then. Lucy finally broke the silence by sighing and saying quietly: "I miss this…all of us here together."

"We haven't got _all_ of us," Ellie noted. "We haven't got Pru here."

"It wouldn't be typical if she were ever here at an opportune time," Max couldn't help but add. All of them chuckled in agreement.

"You want to just leave?" the younger Carrigan continued.

"Luv, we're all here…well, those of us who don't live here, because of the wedding. We can't just up and leave."

"They're already married, anyway. The only reason we're having this is so our parents can have _something to celebrate_," she said, finishing the sentence in a high-pitched imitation of her mother.

"Hey, El wanted the big wedding, so blame her."

"Max!"

"Despite my husband's words, I honestly would love to just leave for a few days; this wedding's become more work than I wanted, but we obviously can't now."

After a brief pause, Max took the final swig of his beer and sighed. "Well, that's a damn shame. But let's not dwell on the past any longer, because I'm about ready to pass out-"

"_You're_ the one who wanted to get up!"

"I know that, angel cake, but I've had my booze and I'm ready to snooze…alright?"

Ellie groaned a little and rolled her eyes. "Ain't he sweet…"she mumbled under her breath.

The Englishman giggled. "There are times when I wonder how you two are going to last more than a year..."

"Funny, I wonder the same thing," the couple replied simultaneously. They exchanged glances then broke into laughter. Once it died down, Ellie gave all her friends a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, everyone. Come on, Max…I'd like to get at least two hours of sleep tonight."

He followed her with a sigh, causing the rest of them to grin and shake their heads. The two of them had been a couple for a long time now, so everyone knew this was just how they were. However, that didn't mean it still wasn't amusing to watch.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The day of the wedding dawned warmer and sunny, a pleasant surprise due to the cold weather they had been experiencing. Both the bride and the groom were awoken by the cries of their child. What it was for was yet to found, but whatever it was, neither of them particularly felt like getting up.

"Maybe he'll just stop…" Ellie said sleepily, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"We'll wait a few more minutes and see."

When Max Jr.'s crying didn't subdue, both of them groaned.

"Maybe if we wait just another minute…"

"God, we're awful parents."

"We are not…we're just…"

"Lazy?"

"Unmotivated."

"Come on, let's go get him."

The couple pushed back the covers and heaved themselves out of bed, stumbling dazedly over to the crib. Ellie picked him up delicately and bounced him on her hip. She felt his diaper-clad bottom and winced at the wet touch.

"Let me guess…" her fiancé said flatly.

"Diaper time!" she replied with false brightness.

After a smelly but quick diaper change, Ellie returned Max Jr. to her hip and headed out of the bedroom into the kitchen, Max Sr. trailing behind. There they found Lucy bending over to feed a fussy Michelle. The one thing both couples hadn't thought of was a high chair, so the kitchen counter had to do for the time being.

"Morning…" Lucy mumbled in greeting. "If either of you would like to take a crack at trying to get this stubborn one to eat her breakfast, be my guest."

Ellie set Max next to his cousin, sighing a little as she did so. "It's taken me a while with this one, too…we'll see what we can do."

Both women first attempted to normally feed their children. When that failed, they tried the conventional 'here comes the airplane/car/train!' method. That, to their delight, worked for a while, but just when there were two or three spoonfuls left, both children got bored and refused.

"Here comes the subway!" Ellie exclaimed, quickly running out of ideas. She thought for a moment, then made an odd "whooshing" noise in a weak impression of a subway train coming into the station. Lucy, not sure of what else to do, followed suit.

Max watched all of this leaning comfortably against the kitchen table, his arms crossed and a thoroughly amused smirk on his face. His best friend entered the kitchen, a cup of tea in one hand and a paper in the other. Jude came up next to him, grinning when he realized what his friend had been watching.

"How long has this been going on?" the Englishman asked.

"About an hour, and I've got to admit, they've had some pretty…creative ideas."

Both of the women turned and glared at the two men.

"If you have a better idea, please, enlighten us," Lucy snarled.

Max looked over at his friend, shrugged, and got up from the table, taking the spoon from his sister with an impish smile.

"Here come the taxi, driving about eighty miles an hour and flipping off people left and right…"

"Max!" Ellie gave him a little smack. That caused both of the children to giggle, and Michelle slurped up the spoonful of baby food eagerly.

"Hey…" Lucy started, a light bulb appearing in her head. "Do that again, El."

Ellie, who hadn't noticed the effect it had had, furrowed her brows in confusion and again gave Max a smack. Again, Max Jr. and Michelle laughed, this time Max Jr. gobbling the spoonful of baby food.

"You've got to be shitting me…" Max grumbled. "Why am _I_ the one who has to suffer for everyone else's enjoyment?"

"Oh, quit your bitching," his wife said, wiping up the spilled baby food off of her son and the kitchen counter. "They're done now, anyway…although…" she continued with a smile. "…that doesn't mean I won't use it for later."

Her husband groaned, to which Ellie chuckled and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry; I won't hit you _that_ hard."

"Fantastic."

"Mate, you kind of owe her from earlier this morning," Jude noted.

He sighed and nodded a little. "Touché."

"Besides…that's how I thought you liked it," she added with a wicked smirk.

"Ellie…" Sadie had just peeked into the room, with a hand over the receiver to the phone. "I forgot to tell you that your sister called earlier this morning and that she has something for you that she forgot to give you yesterday. She's coming over in a few minutes."

"Thanks…perhaps I should go make myself somewhat presentable, then."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

When Anna arrived about ten minutes later, she greeted Ellie with a smile and a hug, but she was holding something in a brown paper bag.

"Mom was telling me how you forgot about a wedding dress, so I've got something you can wear," she said as she handed the paper bag over to her sister.

Ellie took it and delicately pulled out what was inside of it. Out came a simple, but pretty floor-length, white dress. It was probably too informal for a traditional wedding, but considering the dressiest clothing item Ellie had was a little black dress she'd had since the end of high school, this was perfect.

"I realize it's not exactly a wedding dress, but I think it'll look great on you," Anna continued. After holding it up to her frame and twirling it around a little, Ellie stopped and smiled warmly at her sister.

"I love it. Thank you so much, Anna."

"No problem." She embraced her tightly. "I'm so happy for you, Ellie. He seems like a great guy."

"He can be a handful sometimes-"

"I heard that!" Max called from the other room. Both of the sisters looked at each other and laughed.

"…but, _as I was going to say…_" she continued, loud enough for him to hear. "…he's amazing."

"_Thank_ you!"

Ellie turned back to her sister, rolling her eyes but smiling nonetheless. She told her thank you again, embraced her, and Anna made her promise to dance with their father at the reception after the wedding, hopefully to take place on the rooftop, before she left.

Ellie wandered back into the living room, where Jude was playing a game of peek-a-boo with Michelle, Lucy had a happily burbling Max Jr. in her lap, and Max was watching all of this with amusement.

"Ever thought of getting a jar of paint for Michelle?" Ellie inquired after sitting down in the easy chair.

Jude put a finger to his lips. "For her first birthday, luv," he answered in a whisper. Max rolled his eyes.

"It's not like she can understand you."

Ironically, Michelle, who had been grinning from ear to ear while playing with her father, suddenly scowled a little.

"Clearly she can, mate."

"Whatever. That is called coincidence, my friend, and I'm thinking the reason she scowled was because you stopped playing with her," he replied, leaning over and giving his niece a light bop on the nose. Sure enough, her face again broke out in a silly grin and she giggled.

"El, what time is it? We should probably start getting ready," Lucy said.

Ellie looked down into paper bag for a moment, sighed, then nodded. "You're probably right. Come on, Max."

"What do I have to wear?" She didn't answer, only taking his wrist and pulling him into the bedroom. Once they were in, she began to rummage through their drawers, looking for something, _anything_ nicer than what Max was currently wearing.

Finally, after a lot of digging, she settled on the one pair of jeans he had that weren't ripped and black sweater that was actually Jude's, but would fit him just fine.

"Don't complain, because it could've been a lot worse," she commented as he slipped on the sweater she picked. He shook his head out a little as it poked through the hole, pulling it over his lean frame. Looking down at himself, he shrugged.

"You're probably right…but uh, what're you wearing?"

She held up the paper bag. Then, pulling out the dress, she shed herself of her pants. Just as she was about to take off her shirt, she stopped and looked at her husband, who was watching intently.

"Turn around…"she said, twirling her finger to further emphasize her point.

He snorted. "Why? It's nothing I haven't seen."

"I know, but I want it to be a surprise."

He groaned with exasperation and slowly turned. She pulled off her shirt and slipped the dress over her head, wiggling around until it fit right. Jumping into the view of the mirror, she pulled at the fabric until it lay smooth. It was thinly strapped dress; a little skimpy for November, but she could borrow a shawl.

Grabbing the rubber band that held her hair in a ponytail, she shook her dark, loose waves loose, letting them fall to her shoulders.

"Can I look yet?" asked Max impatiently.

"Almost." She ran her fingers through her hair, getting out any tangles and flattening the few strands that stuck out. Eventually, she exhaled slowly, turned around, and told her husband he could look.

He swiveled, and a smile instantly spread across his face the moment he saw her. One thing that had always puzzled him about his infatuation with Ellie was the fact that she was pretty, but not drop-dead _gorgeous_. In earlier days, if he was really going to consider a relationship, looks were pretty damn important.

Well, his statement about her not being gorgeous had definitely changed now that he took a good look at her in that dress.

"Well?" She did a little twirl, glancing down at herself.

"You're going to freeze off that sweet ass of yours, but uh…I'm pretty sure you looking like that is worth it."

He came over to her and wrapped his arms around her in a big embrace, hugging her so tightly her feet came off the floor. When they released each other, Ellie rested her hands on his shoulders, sighed, and gave him a little smile.

"You ready to do this?"

"More than ever, babe."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Yes, I am awful for making you wait for the wedding. But I promise, it should come soon. :D**

**A bit of insight for you all:**

"_**Or how about the time you made out with Sadie?" Jude added with a smirk, referring to his best friend – **_**This is a reference to a fic that has yet to be written. I always thought Max/Sadie were close, so I think they need to have some action. Even if it is short-lived.**

"_**I know that, angel cake, but I've had my booze and I'm ready to snooze…alright?"**_** – That was totally not intended to rhyme. It just sort of typed itself out. But it sounded like something Max would say, so I kept it.**__

"_**Ellie groaned a little and rolled her eyes. "Ain't he sweet…"she mumbled under her breath."**_ – **A sort-of reference to "Ain't She Sweet."**

"_**Max!" Ellie gave him a little smack. That caused both of the children to giggle, and Michelle slurped up the spoonful of baby food eagerly". **_**– Oh yes, Ellie's sadistic ways happen to entertain children. Poor Max xD**

"_**Finally, after a lot of digging, she settled on the one pair of jeans he had that weren't ripped and black sweater that was actually Jude's, but would fit him just fine."**_**- I doubt Max would ever own dress clothes. Even if he did, he wouldn't wear them. Too against his nature, even for his own wedding.**

"_**One thing that had always puzzled him about his infatuation with Ellie was the fact that she was pretty, but not drop-dead gorgeous. In earlier days, if he was really going to consider a relationship, looks were pretty damn important."**_** – This is an issue that'll be expanded on in the earlier chapters that will be edited. Mostly an attempt to make Ellie less of a Mary-Sue.**__

**Reviews would be amazing. Thanks for waiting and reading! The next chapter will be the last.**


	40. Can't Buy Me Love

**A quick warning before I launch into my Oscar-esque thank-you speech, there is sex in this chapter. Like "descriptive sex." It's nothing horribly graphic, so I didn't change the rating to M, but if that sort of thing irks you, you've been warned.**

**As I'm sure you've heard, I've edited quite a few chapters (Chapters 1-8, 11, 12, and 13 to be specific). Some have more changes than another, but some of the plot has been slightly reworked (**_**slightly**_**, mind you. The final outcome is the same, they just get there in a different way.). So if you're interested, read on and review!**

**So, here we are. The final chapter. And it's **_**long.**_** And by long, I mean longer than any chapter I've ever posted, all stories included.**

**Speaking of long, it's been a long year (well, okay, obviously more time has passed for them in the story, but it's taken a year to write the story) for not only these characters, but for definitely this writer.**

**And I just wanted to thank you all for sticking through to the end. At this point, there have been 252 reviews, 16,791 hits, 3 Community Adds, 44 Favorites, and 53 Alerts. And Lord knows I couldn't have gotten these amazing numbers without you wonderful and faithful readers.**

**There is likely to be a sequel to this, but I have another multi-chapter fic, "Free as a Bird", that I haven't updated since June because I wanted to finish this one first. So I need to finish that one. But hopefully everyone will be watching for a sequel, because I'm about 90% sure there will be one.**

**So, again, thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, and here's the awaited end of "Eleanor Rigby."**

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"Ellie…_Ellie?_ Can we come in? We've got the veil and the bouquet!"

Ellie turned her attention away from Max and looked towards the door, which her sister had knocked on and was shouting through. She groaned and slipped in a quick kiss before she answered the door.

Anna, Mrs. Rigby, Mrs. Carrigan, Grandmother Carrigan, Julia, and Lucy came tumbling through the door, with Anna and Lucy holding the bouquet and veil. The moment they saw Max, he was instantly taken by the shoulders and almost thrown out of the room, much to his surprised dismay.

Despite the veil being the only thing that had to be attached to her, it took about fifteen minutes and a lot of excited murmuring for the women to put the veil to Ellie's head. Finally, everything was in place and the women took a step back to look at the now-ready bride.

Even though they had been bothering with her for a while, all of them still gasped when they got a good look at her.

"Doesn't she look fabulous!" exclaimed Grandmother Carrigan.

"She certainly does," agreed Mrs. Carrigan.

Mrs. Rigby returned to her daughter's side, pulling at the fabric a little and beginning to fuss with her. "Sweetheart, aren't you going to be cold without a shawl?"

Hell _yes, I'm going to be cold._ Ellie thought to herself. But she only replied "I'll be fine, Mom. It's decently warm outside."

"I hope you're right. Really…having your wedding in the apartment would've been alright, but on the rooftop? Why didn't you just call me and tell me you needed a hall or something?"

"Because I didn't think that far ahead. And honestly, a hall's too formal for us. We wanted a laid-back wedding."

"That's for sure," her mother muttered. "Probably didn't even get a real priest…"

Mrs. Rigby's last comment reminded Ellie that she only briefly talked to Rocky about presiding over the wedding, which made her heart stop for a moment. As her mother left her side to go converse with the other women, she pulled Lucy aside.

"Did you talk to Rocky, by any chance?"

Lucy winced. "Only a little bit…but he did say he'd try to lay off the weed until after he was done. But when he asked what he was supposed to do, I wasn't exactly sure what to tell him. I told him to keep it short and sweet."

Ellie felt a flood a relief. "_Thank _you, Luce. That's exactly what I needed you to say. The less he talks, the better. We don't want to scare our parents away."

Both of them smirked. Mrs. Carrigan then came over to them, holding Max Jr. in her arms. The small, but growing amount of hair on his head was slicked to one side, and he was clad in what looked like a miniature tuxedo.

Needless to say, Max Jr. looked absolutely ridiculous. And he was not happy about it. He didn't cry, but a thoroughly disgusted scowl turned down the corners of his tiny mouth.

"Mom…" Lucy sniggered, trying to hold back a snort and failing.

"What? He didn't have any dress clothes, so I did the honor of getting them for him. He looks adorable, _don't_ you, Max?"

It seemed as if he pouted even more at this comment. Ellie laughed heartily at this and took him from his grandmother for a moment, pressing her forehead to his and smiling.

"He always looks adorable…_even in silly dress-up clothes_," she murmured inaudibly to anyone but her son. She kissed him on the cheek and he burbled gleefully. Two years ago, she never would've envisioned herself as a wife and a mother. But she had to admit, there's nothing that made her happier than having the same man in her bed every night and seeing his smaller self smiling at her from his crib.

There was a soft knock on the door. It opened and all that could initially be seen of Max was his hands, which were shielding his face.

"Don't attack me!" he exclaimed, stepping into the room cautiously. "Luce, Jude needs to see you."

"Tell him I'll be out in a minute."

"He says it's important."

"What could be so important that he can't wait five minutes?" she said indignantly, more to herself than anyone else. Max, who had brought his hands down, again put them up in defense.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't shoot the messenger! That's just what I was told."

Lucy sighed and nodded, exiting the room swiftly. Her brother, seeing all the women were cooing over his son, saw opportunity and pulled Ellie aside for a moment.

"What's going on?" she inquired. He grinned widely, as if he were a proud papa.

"Well, he's…he's going to do it."

"Going to do what...Oh!" She realized what he meant and an unmistakable smile grew on her face. "You mean _that._ He's going to do it?"

"_Yes_, ma'am, he is."

"God, she'll be so happy…the last couple days, there were times, not for very long, but she'd get mopey and down. She always said it was nothing, but I knew she was wishing this was her wedding. And she'll get it, oh, _Max_, this is great!"

She threw his arms around his neck and held him a tight embrace, coming close to knocking him over. He laughed and returned the hug, but he released her and looked at her seriously.

"El, you can't tell anyone…I know you, you'll tell your mom, who'll tell my mom, who'll tell everyone, and next thing we know the whole thing is ruined and Jude'll be singing off a rooftop again…which is possibly the cheesiest way to tell someone you love them, by the way-"

"Like you can talk."

"What's that supposed to mean? I am anything _but_ cheesy! Name one time I was cheesy."

"I'll name several. You proposed to me in a diner full of people, we got married in Atlantic City, and…we had sex on the beach."

"Well, okay, the first two, I'll admit, but the last one…doesn't everybody do that?"

Ellie giggled at his audacity on this subject. "It's not always a bad thing to be cheesy, you know. And you aren't most of the time, just those few times."

"Fine, whatever, I don't even care." She couldn't help but roll her eyes at this. "Anyway, don't. tell. anyone. Even Max. You never know, he could vomit and the chunks of baby food could spell out-"

She waved her hands to stop him, scrunching up her nose. "Okay, okay, okay, I get the point. I won't tell anyone."

He smiled. "Good. Now I should probably split before I get my ass kicked." He did manage to steal a kiss before he was noticed by the other women and chased out of the room.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"So…what do you need, Jude?"

Jude instantly found the paint that had been ground into his studio's wood floor fascinating, feeling himself turn a bright shade of red.

"_Man, if you don't go through with it, I will kick your sorry ass."_

"_Mate, you couldn't kick my ass if you tried."_

"…_I'll have Ellie kick your sorry ass."_

The conversation he had had with Max before he had gotten Lucy swirled in his head. There was no real reason why he shouldn't do it. Yet, as he found himself standing here, he felt his heart pounding in his chest and his hands starting to shake.

"Jude?" He glanced up, his eyes immediately landing on Lucy's questioning ones. "I've got to get back to Ellie soon, so you've got to tell me what's wrong."

A small grin played at his lips. "Nothing's wrong at all, that's the problem…Luce, you know I love you more than anything else in the world. You know that. And I know I've kept you waiting, and I'm sorry about that."

Her gaze dropped to the floor and she gave a small, sad nod. She would wait the rest of her life if she had to, but she wished Jude would understand how much she wanted to be married. She knew that their relationship was solid; that he didn't have to give her a ring or sign a paper to show commitment. They both knew that. But there was something about saying Jude was her husband rather than her boyfriend that made their relationship 100% solid in her mind.

"I'll wait as long as you need me to, Jude," she said quietly, about to turn out of the room.

But, to her surprise, his smile grew. "Well, you won't have to wait much longer."

He dug through his pockets and pulled out a ring, a small, but pretty diamond sparkling in the middle of it.

"'S not much…only what I could afford. But I hope you'll like it."

Closing the gap between them, he took both of her hands in his and dropped to one knee.

"Lucy Carrigan…would you give this poor bastard the pleasure of being his wife?"

"I think I can manage that," she replied, happy tears filling her eyes and spilling down her face. A bright grin spread across his face as he slipped the ring onto her left hand, kissed it, and stood up.

She immediately threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, making this a moment they would always remember. It felt like ages until they finally released, breathless and pink-cheeked, but still beaming from ear to ear.

"There's nothing I want more than to make love to you right here on the floor, but unfortunately, there's a few people outside who might not appreciate that."

She laughed heartily as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maybe later we'll try and fix that, but right now, we've got a wedding to get to."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It seemed like everyone was bustling around so much, no one had noticed Lucy and Jude had disappeared into Jude's studio. When they came out, clasping hands, none of the chaos had subdued in the slightest. Exchanging amused glances, neither of them minded. It would be difficult to keep their engagement a secret, but they didn't want to appear like event-toppers. This was Max and Ellie's day.

Finally, Ellie and the women emerged from the bedroom, the rest of the family rushing over to her and already beginning to congratulate her.

"Hey, I haven't gotten married yet. You never know what Max'll do." Everyone laughed, but didn't stop the fussing. At one point, Ellie looked over at her two friends and smiled knowingly, winking at them.

"Hey, El!" Ellie's brother Keelan poked his head through the front door. "They said everything's ready up there whenever you're good to go."

She nodded and motioned over to Lucy and Jude to join her. Once they were by her side, she looped an arm through each of theirs, gestured to the rest of the family, and began the procession up the stairway to the rooftop.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Well, I didn't think anything could trump our first wedding, but I've got to admit…that was pretty eventful."

Ellie and Lucy collapsed into a hysterical heap on the couch in the empty apartment, clutching their sides, laughing. Jude and Max remained on their feet, but were grinning just as big.

"Blimey," Jude started, scratching the back of his neck and shaking his head in wonder. "Did you see the look on your mum's face when Rocky went into that spiritual shit?"

"I wish I had. I was too busy trying not to laugh. I figured if me and El looked completely serious, they would've thought this was the real deal."

"When Rocky pulled out the 'ceremonial incense' that we had to smoke," Ellie started, panting heavily. "The look on everyone's face was _priceless._"

"I'm sorry!" Lucy said, holding her head in her hands. "I should've informed him that our parents were expecting a traditional wedding. I figured short and sweet was good enough."

"Hate to break it to you, sis, but it was anything but short and sweet…shit, I was wondering if it was ever going to end."

The girls giggles subdued, and the four friends sat in comfortable silence for a moment. After Ellie and Max were finally married, the four of them had stolen a quick drink at the party on the roof and immediately rushed down to their apartment.

"My mother's never going to let this go," Ellie said, staring up at the ceiling and shaking her head. "I guarantee, every Thanksgiving, she's going to bring this up."

"You could tell her that technically we were already married in the first place."

"Yeah, but if I told her where we got hitched, that'd be even worse."

"Fair enough."

"We should probably head back upstairs," Jude interrupted, looking at the clock. "Sadie and Jo are up there and we shouldn't just abandon them."

"Well, you two can head up there," Max started as he turned to his wife. "But me and El have got plans."

"We do?" she questioned, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"We do. Come on." He went over to the coat rack and pulled off his leather jacket, throwing it to her. Ellie looked curiously between Lucy and Jude, who both shrugged. The three of them had found over the years that it was better to just adjust and go with whatever Max's unpredictable plans were.

Once she had the coat slipped over her shoulders, he pulled her to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Lucy inquired.

"That's not for you to know, sister dear," he responded with an impish grin. Wrapping an arm around her waist, they both walked to the door, Max giving his sister and best friend a little wave before leaving. Ellie followed suit, not sure of what else to do and wondering what Max had in store for her.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sunlight dazzled across the glassy water of the river as Max and Ellie pulled up to the docks. As soon as the car stopped, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her out. She grinned until she realized he was walking _very_ close to the edge of the docks, looking like he was about to throw her in.

"Max!" she exclaimed. "It is the middle of November. Do _not_ throw me into that water."

He stopped for a moment, looked up at the clear skies, then back at her. "Babe, if you haven't noticed, it's decently warm today."

She hesitated. He had a point. "Yeah, but…I don't know. I don't want to go in my nice dress and I definitely don't want to be freezing my ass off in wet clothes on the way home."

A brilliant idea crossed his mind, and a smirk grew deviously on his lips. "You're right. We can go naked." He carefully dropped her to her feet and before she could protest, pulled Jude's sweater over his head. He did the same with his socks, pants, and lastly his boxers. After giving her another grin, he ran to the edge and dived neatly into the water.

She looked towards the heavens, wondering what she was getting herself into, but she followed suit. She glanced around, hoping there was no one else there, and covering the sensitive areas of her body with her hands.

"Aw, come on, El. It's not like I haven't seen it before."

She gave a nod in agreement, but still shuffled cautiously over to the edge of the dock, not completely revealing herself until she slipped into the water. She yelped as the icy water enveloped over her bare body, swimming over to where he was treading.

"_Fuck_," she yelped again. "It's _cold._"

He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"We'll just have to warm you up, darlin'," he said, adopting an airy, "southern belle" accent. She snorted in amusement.

"Like you'll be able to do that, you twig. I'm bigger than you are!"

"_Well_, I know I'm just a slip of a thing, but have a little faith." She wrinkled her nose, but giggled.

"Well, excuse me, then, Miss O'Hara, but I believe I'm still cold." He lightly pressed his forehead to hers.

"Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?" he said before cupping her cheek and kissing her. They were having a bit of trouble staying afloat, so, lips still pressed firmly against each other, they drifted closer to the edge of the dock. He pressed her up against it, gliding his hand down her frame and giving her firm ass a squeeze.

She broke the kiss for a moment, looking at him skeptically.

"Max…should we really do this? Here and now?"

"Sure, why not? We're in the water, so people aren't forced to see us."

"But we don't have protection."

He shrugged. "And?"

She sighed, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I could really use a break from the pregnancy shit. I have the feeling my vagina's going to explode if I have another kid."

Max chuckled and tucked a wet strand of dark, wavy hair behind her ear. "If it bugs you that much, we can pick up birth control pills on the way home."

Ellie thought about it for a moment, then shrugged, reeling him back in for a fiery kiss. She took her feet off the three-inch ledge that the wood underwater provided and let her legs float up to his hips, where she circled them around his body. As he leaned forward, mouth moving from her lips up towards her ear and trailing down her neck, she draped her arms around his neck and gasped as he slowly pushed into her.

He ended his trail at the base of her neck, closing his eyes and resting his chin there. As she rocked into him, her back scraped rhythmically against the wet wood behind her. Her swimming mind vaguely thought eventually this would become a problem, but she pushed that nag out of her head, wanting to be more focused on warm, tingling sensation between her legs.

Her eyes fluttered shut and she dropped her head to his shoulder, sighing blissfully as he pushed deeper, his hip bone lightly knocking against hers. Unfortunately, the sound of thick boots against creaky wood brought her out of her reverie. Max didn't seem to notice, but nonetheless she forced her eyes open and peeked over the top of the dock. A portly policeman was surveying the area, looking curiously at the clothes that had been left in a heap down by the docks.

She gasped as she whipped back to him.

"Damn…" he laughed huskily. "Didn't know I could still make you do that so often."

"Well, you can but…" She paused and swallowed the moan that was itching the back of her throat. "we're about to get arrested."

Not stopping his pace (that _motherfucker_, she thought to herself), he looked up, then shrugged with indifference.

"I don't know about you, but I ain't stoppin'."

This time she forced him to stop by quickly closing her legs. He widened those striking blue eyes and glared at her.

"El-_lie_, come on-"

"There's no way we can do it!" she hissed. She could practically hear the wheels spinning his head as he desperately thought for a way. Something must have come to him because his eyes lit up and his lips curved upward in that familiar lopsided smirk. He kissed her forehead and then put a finger to her lips.

"We're going to continue, but nothing is going to come out of your mouth. And I mean, _nothing_. It's much better that way anyway, and I've doubt you've tried it," he whispered, and he started to move towards her again.

"Max Carrigan, you egotistical bastard, you know for a fact I won't last five minutes. You just want to prove I can't do it."

"Oh, ye of little faith," he murmured in her ear, his gravelly baritone sending chills down her spine. "If you can't control yourself, we'll go under the water. Deal?"

Ellie didn't really have a choice, because he immediately resumed and all hopes of her resisting went out the window. It was definitely going to be an uphill battle, and she had the feeling he was purposely making it hard for her. The small, quiet grunts and groans of pleasure he gave as he buried his face into her neck drove her past the point of insanity. She bit her lip so hard to suppress a moan that she tasted her own sweet, irony blood.

She hastily put two hands on the side of his head, brought it around to her face, and pulled him into a heated lip-lock, hoping that if she kept her mouth busy it would be easier. But the bubbling in the pit of her gut increased and she grasped the ends of his growing mop of blonde hair, her frame starting to shake. She was trying so hard and she thought could hear the policeman starting to wander their direction, but it just felt so _good_…

She broke for a moment, a choked sigh escaping her lips. Max kissed the tip of her nose before whispering with a smirk "Are you gonna make it?"

Ellie caught herself, but literally on the verge of hitting her peak. She looked at him with sparkling, lustful brown eyes and, her voice catching on the edge of a whimper, said "No." before she grasped his shoulders and pulled him down underneath the surface just as the hot wave of an orgasm washed over her body.

The policeman, who had been looking elsewhere, heard the noise and turned. He waited for a moment, then waddled over to the edge of the dock and looked down. It was impossible to see anything in the dark, murky water and there was only a little disturbance in the water. After waiting for ten seconds to see if anything popped up, he sighed and started to wander back towards the building, figuring the imposters were elsewhere.

"Damn kids…" he muttered as he started to walk up the steps.

After five seconds later, both Max and Ellie burst from surface, relieving their burning lungs and gasping for air. They both had figured the policeman had heard her slip, so they stayed down there as long as humanely possible.

"Is he gone?" she panted, holding on to the side of the dock. He pushed wet bangs out of his face and looked over the top of the wood.

"Yeah, I think so."

She nodded, then glowered at him. "I _told_ you I wouldn't last long. And can you imagine him having to arrest us _butt-ass naked_?"

He laughed wickedly and swam over to her. "Wouldn't that make this an even more memorable wedding? Some story we can tell the family…" He looped his arms around her waist and stared nostalgically upwards. "Honey, remember our wedding night? We had some amazing sex down at the docks but got caught by that darn policeman!

"Gosh golly gee, Dad! I'd love to hear more about your sex life! Tell us more!" exclaimed Ellie sardonically.

"Well, son, then we spent a couple hours down at the station with nothing but a towel and the handcuffs…"

"And I'd say, that's right! I do remember! I also remember giving your father a deserved ass-whooping."

"Butt-ass naked," they finished simultaneously, breaking into hysterics. Once their chuckling died down, they fell into a comfortable silence. However, it wasn't long before both of them started to tremble violently due to the icy water.

"I'm thinking it's about time we get out," Ellie said, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Well, we _could…_or…" he trailed off, raising his eyebrow suggestively. She gave him a jab with her elbow.

"Jesus, Max, have you ever considered that your penis might fall off from all the banging? Luce told me that your mom said you hung out with 'promiscuous dope fiends.' It's a wonder she didn't say that about you."

"Oh," he started, scowling a little at the thought. "I'm sure she did."

She grinned, swiveling in his arms and wrapping her arms around his neck. He returned the smile and gave a little shrug, sighing.

"Hate to break it to you, angel cake, but it looks like you're stuck with this promiscuous, dope fiend, cross-dressing…well, _not _completely homosexual, obviously, twisted pacifist for the rest of your days."

She giggled, leaning in to give him a kiss, but not before saying:

"That's the only way I want it."

……………………………………………………………………………………………..............................................

_Fifteen years later…_

"Man, Harrison Ford's the _shit._"

"Did you see the way that dude took that heart out?"

"Why couldn't we have seen Sixteen Candles? That movie was _gross._"

Max Carrigan Jr. shook his head chuckling, mildly listening to his friends' conversation. Even though what they were fighting over was dumb, he should be glad he even had friends in the first place. His entire family, aunts, uncles, and cousins included, had just moved from the East Village to Brooklyn about three weeks ago, and Max had figured he and his cousin Michelle would be the loners for a while at their new school. But, to their relief, they had both made friends quickly and now had gone out to a movie for the first time together this evening. Really, Max had wanted to go to the movie alone with Clara Hanson, a pretty Latina he had met in his English class. They weren't dating yet, but it was pretty obvious that they liked each other. Unfortunately, his mother had told him that for the first time, he had to go on a group date. Why he had even asked his mother was beyond him; if he had asked his dad, he would've said go for it and probably a few other things, too. Max brought this point up in their argument.

"_Ma,_ I'm not ten years old anymore."

"That's my point, sweetheart. It's not that I don't trust you, I'd just feel more comfortable if you went in a group the first time."

"Dad wouldn't have given a shit…" Max muttered under his breath.

"You would be correct about that, and that's why I'm glad you asked me instead. Otherwise, I'd be yelling at both of you."

"But I won't be out any later than midnight…what if I call you right when we get to the movies and then right after the movie's over?"

She shook her head. "Both of us will be out and that still doesn't tell me what you did _in_ the movie theatre. Just humor your mother and go in a group. Bring Michelle along, she'd have fun and probably doesn't want to hang out with us for the night."

"But-"

She gave him one of her infamous looks, one of the two things his dad had told him to steer clear of at all costs. "Maxwell Carrigan, do you want to go to the movies at all?"

Of course, the other thing his dad had told him to steer clear of was the use of his full name. So, he heaved a sigh of defeat and rolled his eyes.

"_Fine…_but if Clara doesn't go out with me after this, I'm blaming you."

The group date wasn't all that bad. Actually, it was pretty fun, except for the occasional jabs Max and Clara received, like "Why aren't you making out yet, huh?" or "What's your deal, Carrigan? Make your move!"

When the movie was over and the group was wandering slowly towards the front doors of the theatre, Clara came up behind him, tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"So…how'd you like the movie?" she asked casually, though it was clear something else was on her mind.

He shrugged, shaking growing blonde bangs out of his face. "Eh, it was alright. The heart thing was a little nasty, but whatever, I liked the action."

"Yeah…me too…listen, Max…can I talk to you for a second?" She stopped for a moment, catching his arm so that he followed suit. Michelle, who had been walking in stride with Max while contentedly munching on some popcorn, looked back when she noticed he wasn't at her side. She gave him a curious glance, but instantly smiled in recognition when she saw Clara next to him. He returned the smile, but shooed her away with his hand. Michelle smirked and raised a suspicious eyebrow, popping a kernel of popcorn delicately into her mouth before turning on her heel and walking away.

Max, turning his attention back to Clara, noticed that her gaze dropped to her feet as she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I…I really like you…and…I was wondering if we could do this again sometime…you know…alone?"

In his mind, he was ecstatic. He had _finally_ gotten the date he wanted, even with this stupid, unexpected "group date" delay.

Outwardly, however, he toned down his jubilation to an odd lopsided smirk and replied:

"Yeah, that'd be cool."

"I understand if you don't want to," she continued breathlessly, picking at her fingernails. "I mean, I'm guessing that's the reason why our date turned into a group date, because you didn't want to do it alone.

"Babe, that was my _parents,_ not me. No…I definitely want to do this again. I like you, too, Clara."

She beamed from ear to ear. "Good." Then she put a hand to his cheek and gave him a short, but sweet kiss on the lips.

The rest of the teenagers, who had been silently watching this all unfold, wolf-whistled and cheered as the two kissed. Not yet breaking the kiss, Max gave all of them the one-finger salute, but smiled when they finished. His friends returned to his side, the boys giving him claps on the back and Michelle ruffling his hair good-naturedly.

Their celebration was interrupted by a deafening roar of a car coming down the street and undistinguishable music thumping loudly along with it. The friends exchanged curious glances and wandered outside to see what all the commotion was about.

The moment they stepped out the front doors, all of them were blinded by bright headlights. A baby blue Chevy, which had been the car thundering down the street, careened over the curb at the far end of the parking lot and landed smartly on the cement.

As the car continued to speed through the desolate lot, doing donut holes in clear spaces and narrowly avoiding the few parked cars multiple times, it became clear the crazed driver, undoubtedly drunk out of his mind, had his radio up on full-blast and was singing along at the top of his lungs.

"_Just as…ev-er-y cop is a criminal…and _all_ the sinners saints…as heads is tails, just call me…LUcifer, cause I'm in need of some restraint…so if you meet me, have some courtesy, have some sympathy, have some taste…Use _all _your well-learned pol-i-tesse, or I'll lay your…soul to waste, um yeah…PLEASED TO MEET YOU, HOPE YOU GUESS MY NAME, UM YEAH…BUT WHAT'S PUZZ-EL-ING YOU IS THE…NATURE OF MY GAME. GET ON DOWN!!"_

The driver continued singing drunken falsetto "_Woo! Woo!"_s as he weaved in and out of the lanes. Max and all of his friends were laughing their asses off at this spectacle and wondered if anyone in the movie theatre actually _knew_ this guy.

"Max…" Michelle said suddenly, tugging on his sleeve. "Isn't…Isn't that Uncle Max...isn't that your _dad_?"

Max's laughing immediately ceased as all eyes were now on him. His dad _was_ supposed to pick him, Michelle, and Clara up from the movie. He knew his father was a little wacko…okay, maybe _really_ wacko, but even this was a bit much for him.

The car zipped up the vertical aisle one last time, turning sharply right and coming to a screeching halt directly in front of the group of friends. Sure enough, as the driver rolled down the window, out popped Max Sr.'s head. He had an old pair of Aviators slid down to the end of his nose and a cigarette hanging loosely between two fingers.

"Hey, 'Chelle! Squirt!" he exclaimed dazedly, the latter name referring to his son. Max _hated_ it when his dad called him that. "Hop in!"

Max exchanged glances with Michelle, wondering whether this was really the wisest decision on their part. The movie theatre was only ten minutes away from their apartment building in Brooklyn. This neighborhood was a decently quiet one, so the streets were almost empty at this hour, but even so…

Before they could make a decision, however, another car, this one a red sedan, came speeding down the street, but the car pulled correctly into the parking lot. The sedan came to a brief stop and the driver, a middle-aged woman, poked her head out of the window.

"_MAXWELL CARRIGAN, YOUR ASS IS MINE!"_

"Oh, _shit_," Max, Michelle, and Max Sr. said simultaneously. Max Sr. started the car up again as fast as he possibly could, giggling stupidly as he did so.

"Who's that?" Clara asked, referring to the woman in the red car.

"That would be my mother," Max replied with a sigh of exasperation, as if he was the parent and they were the children.

"This should end well," Michelle said quietly, shaking her head and chuckling. Her uncle overheard her.

"No, see, here's what you gotta do," he said in a drawling baritone, pointing at them with cigarette-laden hand. "You gotta act cool…calm…collected. Then all that shit goes away. Just watch."

Just at that moment, Ellie Carrigan drove up behind Max Sr.'s car and parked, sitting her elbow on the window and leaning out of it.

"You better not move an inch, or your ass will be on the sidewalk." she spat at him. Her mood completely changed as she turned to her son and her niece, smiling brightly at them. "Hi! How was the movie?"

"It was pretty good," Max replied casually, his arm finding its way around Clara's waistline. His mother noticed this and grinned.

"Max…is there someone you'd like to introduce to me?"

"Oh! Uh, right. Mom, Dad, this is Clara."

Clara tried to smile politely and waved at them awkwardly. This was not how she was planning on meeting Max's parents.

"Nice catch, squirt," his father said with a smirk. Ellie glowered at him through the windshield, then turned back to Clara.

"It's good to meet you, Clara. Please excuse this son of bitch who calls me his wife."

"Aw, angel cake, you know I love you…I'm just having my fun, you know that."

"Yeah, well, joy ride's over, Casanova. There is no way I'm letting you drive them and we've got to get them home, especially Michelle. I'd really rather not be lectured by your sister tomorrow about getting her child home on time."

"I can explain the whole thing to her," Michelle cut in, not wanting to cause them any more trouble. "And besides, my dad knew Uncle Max was picking us up and expected we'd be home later than we said."

"See?" Max Sr. encouraged, now looking out his own window at his wife. "Judey's about as hammered as I am, anyway-"

"All the more reason to get her home."

"But, _El_-"

"In my car. _Now._"

Max Sr. thought about it for a moment, then grinned apologetically at her as he started up the engine, knowing he was going to pay dearly for his fun when he got home. He sincerely hoped Ellie would find his apologetic grin hopelessly adorable.

She shut her eyes in dismay as he did this. "Max…please, don't."

"Sorry, babe! Stupid is as stupid does!" Max Sr. floored the gas and sped away, his radio coming back on and this time, singing at the top of his lungs:

"_Tell ME…over and over and over again, my friend…ah, don't you believe we're on the eve of de-struc-tion..."_

"You're damn right we're on the eve of destruction…" Ellie muttered through clenched teeth. She groaned and her head drooped onto the steering wheel.

"Sorry about that…sweetheart, why don't you say goodbye to your friends? I'll just wait here."

Max nodded and his mother rolled up the window, having a small temper tantrum once the window was up and her frustrated screaming was soundproofed.

All the teenagers chose to ignore this and gaped at Max and Michelle, their jaws dropped in disbelief.

"Dude…" Billy said, not able to say anymore than that.

"Is it _always_ like that at your house?" Tom asked dubiously.

"Not always," Michelle answered with a shrug. "I mean, I don't live there, my mom, dad, and I live down the hallway from them, but I'm over there all the time. Uncle Max's kind of crazy and all, but I've never seen him go this far. Normally, he just does little things that piss Aunt Ellie off. But he just got a big promotion at his job and he, Ellie, my parents, and a bunch of their friends got together tonight to celebrate…I guess things got a little out of hand."

"_Dude_…" Billy said again, shaking his head, directed his attention back to Max. "Your dad's _awesome._"

Max grinned. "Yeah, he's pretty cool. As you can see, though, Mom's only up for so much, and when he loses his marbles like this, she can get pretty angry. You'd never think this, but they love each other to death. They just fight all the time. They have two volumes in almost any situation. Loud and Louder."

There was a brief silence, his friends still in awe of what just happened.

"Well," Clara started, slipping her hand into his. "I guess there's never a dull moment at the Carrigan household, is there?"

Max chuckled and squeezed her hand. "Nope. Not at all. But…I like it that way."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Whew!**

**If you read of all that in one sitting, well hoo-freakin'-ray for you, you win the best fanfiction reader award :D.**

**Here's a bit o' trivia. There were two songs used in the last section of this chapter, the ones Max Sr. sings in his car. Try and guess what they are (if you can do this without Google, like you just know the answer, I love you forever.). I'll give you a hint. Neither of them are Beatles songs, but both are from the same era.**

**I know there's a lot here to break down, but I'll do it anyway. Come on, it's the last chapter!**

"_**The small, but growing amount of hair on his head was slicked to one side, and he was clad in what looked like a miniature tuxedo." **_**– Whether they actually made such things in the sixties and whether they actually make them now is beyond me. But the idea came to me and it had to be done.**

"_**Yes, ma'am, he is."**_** – If you caught that reference from the ATU movie, cookies for you.**

"_**He dug through his pockets and pulled out a ring, a small, but pretty diamond sparkling in the middle of it."**_** – A very, very subtle reference to "Can't Buy Me Love."**

"_**Lucy Carrigan…would you give this poor bastard the pleasure of being his wife?"**_** – See? I keep my promises :D. **

"_**When they came out, clasping hands, none of the chaos had subdued in the slightest. Exchanging amused glances, neither of them minded. It would be difficult to keep their engagement a secret, but they didn't want to appear like event-toppers. This was Max and Ellie's day."**_ **– The possibility arose in my head that Jude and Lucy could get hitched right then and there with Max and Ellie, but eventually, I thought that was too much. This chapter's already eighteen pages long and it is a Max/OC story. Sorry if I disappointed anyone.**

"_**When Rocky pulled out the 'ceremonial incense' that we had to smoke," Ellie started, panting heavily. "The look on everyone's face was priceless."**_** – Whether this would actually happen in any sort of religious ceremony is probably not likely, but it seemed 70s/hippie-ish, so I put it in.**

"_**Hate to break it to you, angel cake, but it looks like you're stuck with this promiscuous, dope fiend, cross-dressing…well, not completely homosexual, obviously, twisted pacifist for the rest of your days."**_** – If you caught this reference to the ATU movie **_**and**_** the previous one, double cookies for you!**

"_**As the car continued to speed through the desolate lot, doing donut holes in clear spaces and narrowly avoiding the few parked cars multiple times, it became clear the crazed driver, undoubtedly drunk out of his mind, had his radio up on full-blast and was singing along at the top of his lungs."**_** – As much as I wished this was an idea that just came to me, it's actually based on a true story. PM me if you want to know.**

"_**Stupid is as stupid does!" **_**– A quote taken from the movie **_**Forrest Gump.**_** It seemed appropriate.**

"_**They have two volumes in almost any situation. Loud and Louder."**_** – A quote taken from the movie **_**My Big Fat Greek Wedding.**_** It also seemed appropriate.**

**Expect a lot of oneshots and some updates on "Free as a Bird" from me. I have decided that I will do a sequel to this story, but when I'll start it is yet to be determined. Again, thank you for all the reviews, the suggestions, the PMs, everything you've given me for the past year. I appreciate it so much! **

**Peace, love, and music**

**~KT aka TMOLM2010**


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